Chapter Eight

"Let me out of here, you incompetent moron!" Lady Xolynda shrieked, pounding her shapely fists against the rough, wooden door. "Just you wait until the Prince finds out what you've done! When I don't turn up at the wedding ceremony, he'll come looking for me! Then he'll find how you let those spies escape! He'll have you hanged, or worse! Let me out!"

The guard sighed deeply as he carried the girl spy's luncheon gruel towards her cell. She'd been ranting like this ever since she woke up. He had to admit, though, if he hadn't seen the real Lady Xolynda a few hours ago, her impassioned screams just might have convinced him she was telling the truth. As it was, he could feel no pity for her. She'd been planning to kill the good prince and take over his kingdom. She deserved to be locked up as much as Morlock.

"Your lunch, my lady," he said sarcastically, bending down to slide the bowl of thin gruel through the flap at the bottom of the door. As he pushed it through, he saw a sudden green flash by his hand. A burst of pain shot through his fingers and up his arm. Alarmed, the guard clutched his wrist, staring in shock at the two little pricks of blood standing out on his index finger.

"Wha-what's going on?" he cried in a shaky voice. The pain was rapidly spreading towards his heart. Unable to stand, the panicked guard fell to the floor, paralyzed. The musty air around him filled with the spy's silvery laughter.

"Good work, Nettles, my pet! Now, go get his keys."

The terrified guard could only move his eyes. He watched in utter horror as a long, green snake slithered out from the door flap and up, over his round belly, its thin, pink tongue flicking in and out. He listened as the snake somehow managed to remove his keys from his belt, then felt its cool, muscular weight slide off him. The keys clinked and jangled as the snake slid with them across the uneven stones of the floor.

"Wonderful job, my pet," came the spy's sweet voice. If the guard could move, he would have shuddered. The door above him clicked and opened. He watched as the wicked spy's dun-colored peasant dress swished against the stones beside him.

"Too bad he won't live to see me triumph!" the spy laughed. "Oh, and Nettles. Before we go, why don't you see that my dear brother Morlock is comfortable?" The snake hissed as if laughing. "This is a glorious day, my pet! Before midnight tonight, I shall be Queen, and sole ruler of this entire, filthy rich kingdom!" Then, she strode away, leaving the petrified guard alone with the echo of her tinkling laughter. It was the last sound he ever heard.

Smurfette had to admit it. She was completely lost. She'd never been in this part of the castle before. Already, she'd asked three different people for directions to Xolynda's rooms, and each time she had gotten a different response. Now, she didn't know where she was. Desperate, she decided to open every door on this floor until she found a room that seemed likely to belong to Xolynda. If she couldn't locate it that way, she'd have no choice but to return to Theodore's office and ask him. She hoped he'd understand. After all, the Lady Xolynda was supposed to be new to this kingdom.

The first six rooms she tried were mostly storage, the seventh belonged to a very rude old man that Smurfette gathered had once been Prince Theodore's falconer. His wrinkled face and skinny arms were covered in scars and scratches. On and on she went, opening door after door, until, finally, she found a room that looked promising.

"Oh, my!" Smurfette exclaimed happily. "Just look at all these lovely gowns!"

There was a pile of rich dresses lying on the large bed in the center of the stone room. Smurfette looked through them, feeling the different fabrics and admiring the rich, vibrant colors, the intricate embroidery and the delicate lace work.

"If I ever go back to the village, I'll have to ask Tailor if he can smurf me a gown like these!" she sighed.

Finished with the dresses, Smurfette snooped around the rest of the room in search of some evidence of the identity of its owner. Over by the dresser, she found a large, silver looking glass. Picking it up, she gasped in amazement at the sight of her reflection. The young lady gaping back at her through the glass was positively stunning. Her long, golden hair cascaded down the slender back of the amazing silver gown. Her hair reached almost to her feet, which were clad in lovely silver shoes. Her large eyes were of the deepest blue, her nose was just right, and her mouth was small and pink. Unable to quite believe her eyes, Smurfette smiled at her reflection, admiring the way her eyes and hair went so well with Xolynda's silver gown. "Oh, Brainy and the others would like this mirror," she thought to herself. "They've been wanting to see what they looked like since they came looking for me."

She gave a sudden start at the shrill shout of someone entering the room behind her. "Who are you, and what do you think you're doing with my mirror!" Spinning around, Smurfette saw a lovely young lady with raven hair and green eyes. Her furious gaze turned rapidly to surprise and mortification as she saw the face of her intruder.

"Oh, my Lady Xolynda! Forgive me," she cried. "I didn't realize it was you!"

"No, it's my fault," said Smurfette sheepishly. "I'm afraid I'm a bit lost. Do you happen to know where my rooms are?"

The raven haired girl looked apologetic. "No, I'm sorry, my lady. I wish I could help you."

Smurfette sighed. "It's all right. I'll just have to ask Theodore. I do hope he won't think I'm stupid, getting lost like this."

The green-eyed lady smiled kindly. "Oh, I'm sure he'll understand, my lady. It's a big castle. Do you like that mirror?"

Smurfette had forgotten she was still holding it. "What? Oh, yes. It's really quite sm-I mean, lovely."

"You can have it if you like," said the raven-haired girl. "You can think of it as a wedding present."

Smurfette was stunned. "Oh, really? I can have it? Oh, thank you very much!"

The girl with the raven hair smiled. "I hope you find your rooms soon. There's only about an hour and a half before the ceremony."

"Oh, is it that late already! I have to find Theodore! Good bye! And thank you again for the lovely mirror!"

"What was that?" asked Theodore, his hand frozen on the door latch. "I'm not sure I heard you right."

"I'm Brainy Smurf. Really!" He nodded to his companions. "And these are Hefty and Clumsy. You guessed right, your highness."

The prince staggered forward, his eyes wide. He looked each of them over, noting the unusually deep blue of their eyes, the strangely round shape of their ears, and their large-ish, Smurf-like noses.

"You're right!" he exclaimed at last. "I knew there was something familiar about you three! But, tell me, why are you here? What made you come here disguised as humans? I've never heard of Smurfs disguising themselves as humans before. Is there something wrong at the village? Are you in danger? Do you need my help?"

Brainy took a deep breath. This was really going to be difficult. "Well, actually, Theodore, we're here like this because of Smurfette."

Prince Theodore sat heavily in the chair Hefty had vacated. "Smurfette! What's happened to her? Is she all right?"

"Yes! She's all right."

"Then, I don't understand. What's the matter?"

Brainy straightened his glasses, then plunged forward. "She's madly in love with you, your highness," he blurted out, completely unable to think of a more tactful way of letting him know. "Or, at least she thinks she is. Yesterday she got Gourdy, Farmer's genie, to grant her a wish. You see, when you told her you were going to get married, she completely flipped her smurf. She just couldn't stop crying! Papa Smurf tried to help her, but she ran away to Farmer's fields and rubbed Gourdy's gourd. Papa Smurf had to send us after her to smurf her back before the wish became permanent!"

"But, then, why haven't I seen her? And, why were you sent here as humans?"

Brainy looked uncomfortable. "Well, you see, the thing is, Smurfette's wish was rather out of the ordinary, if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"It concerned love, you see, so it's smurf full of unsmurfy conditions! One of them is, if you figure out what she's done before midnight tonight and tell her so, she'll remain as she is now forever! Then, she'll never be able to return with us to the village!"

"But, what has she done?" Prince Theodore asked desperately. "Surely if you tell me it won't affect her. After all, I won't have figured it out for myself, you'll have told me."

Brainy looked very uncomfortable. "I don't know," he said. "Magic wishes don't always smurf kindly to loopholes. You'll have to promise not to tell her outright that you know who she is just the same."

"Yeah," said Hefty. "Like, if you see her, don't say 'Hi, Smurfette' or something like that."

Brainy nodded. "Yes, it would be best if you don't use her name. So, do you promise?" he asked.

Prince Theodore looked as if he was afraid it would be a very difficult promise to keep. But, he stood straight and assured the Smurfs and himself that, "I do."

Brainy nodded. "All right. She wished for Gourdy to smurf her into a hu-"

Just then, the door to Theodore's office burst open. Clumsy yelped.

"Look out!" he cried. "It's Xolynda!"

"What!" Brainy exclaimed. "How did she smurf out of the dungeon!"

The Prince was very confused. "Dungeon? What are you talking about? Xolynda, my love," he said, moving toward her. "What's happened to your gown? Why are you dressed in these peasant clothes?"

Xolynda laughed. It was not a pleasant sound. Prince Theodore stepped closer. "Why do you laugh, my dear? Shouldn't you be getting dressed for the wedding?"

Xolynda's blue eyes flashed. "I could ask you the same thing, my love," she spat. "What are you doing with these three spies?"

"Spies? " Theodore exclaimed. "But, Xolynda, they're not spies! You said yourself after your interview-"

"That wasn't me, Theo, it was that filthy female impostor! It's all part of their plan to get rid of me before the wedding! They want you to marry that filthy little peasant girl instead!"

"Xolynda!" cried Prince Theodore, unable to believe his ears. "What are you saying? These three young men aren't spies! They're good friends of mine!"

Xolynda stared at him incredulously. "How could you possibly have fallen for their lies so quickly? Just how big of an idiot are you! Your good friends? Why you've only known them for an hour!"

Theodore staggered back, flabbergasted at the ferocity of her manner. "Xolynda! Have you gone mad? Settle down!"

"What have they told you, Theodore," she asked, advancing towards him with eyes blazing. "That I've been plotting to kill you? That I want your kingdom for myself?"

Prince Theodore backed away from his raving fiancée, unsure what to think. He had never seen her like this before. She seemed so strange, so paranoid!

"Don't you see it's all a tissue of lies created by these peasant spies to discredit me in the eyes of your people! You must kill them, Theodore! I must see them dead before the wedding! Otherwise, you and I will never be safe!"

Prince Theodore gaped at her, aghast. "You want me to kill these innocent people?" he asked, his voice full of incredulity. "Surely, you are not my Xolynda! She would never ask me to do such a wretched thing!"

"Um, your highness," said Brainy, a bit nervously.

Theodore turned on him, his eyes blazing. "What is it, Brainy?"

"Oh, well, erm, as I was about to tell you, she really is-"

At that moment, the door burst open again. Smurfette stood there, panting in her silver gown. "Oh, Theo, I'm afraid I've forgotten the way to my rooms-" She suddenly noticed Xolynda. "Oh, dear!" she exclaimed, bringing her hands to her mouth. "How did she break out of the dungeon?"

Now Prince Theodore was completely confused. "Xolynda?" he asked weakly.

"NO!" cried the real Xolynda, rushing at Smurfette. Clumsy stretched out a leg and tripped her. She fell on her face at Smurfette's feet. Hefty patted him on the back.

"Nice smurfing, Clumsy!" he grinned.

"Yes," Brainy agreed. "For once you've managed to trip someone besides yourself!"

Clumsy grinned proudly. "Gosh," he said, bashfully.

Prince Theodore strode forward. "Will someone please tell me just what is going on here?" he exclaimed. "Which is the real Xolynda and which is the impostor?"

Brainy started to say something, then caught a glimpse of blue in the corner of his eye. Turning, he saw his reflection in Theodore's magic mirror. He grinned, another brilliant idea forming in his smurftacular brain.

"Your highness," he said, "I suggest that you look at them both in your mirror. Since it only smurfs the truth, you should know at once which of these two girls truly cares for you, and which of them wishes you harm."

Hefty came up behind him. "Brainy, are you sure about this? If he sees them in that mirror, he'll know about Smurfette!"

"But he promised not to say anything!" Brainy whispered back. "He knows what's at stake. I'm certain he'll keep his mouth shut." Hefty nodded, but Brainy could tell he wasn't completely convinced.

While the two Smurfs had been whispering, Prince Theodore was helping the fallen Xolynda to her feet.

"That's a wonderful idea, Brainy," he was saying. "I'd completely forgotten about that mirror!"

"I agree," said Xolynda, brushing herself off angrily. "Now we'll see who's telling the truth and who's an impostor!"

Smurfette looked anxiously at Brainy. "Just go along with it," he said with an encouraging smile. "It'll be all right!" He crossed his fingers behind his back, suddenly missing his little blue Smurf tail. "I hope," he said under his breath.

Theodore took each of the two identical ladies by the hand and led them before his magic mirror. Standing behind them, he looked in wonder at their reflections. Suddenly, everything came clear to him.

"What in the world is that?" Xolynda screeched as she caught a glimpse of Smurfette's true, blue image. "Why, she's not even human!"

Xolynda was so upset that she didn't even notice how her own reflection had been altered. Her figure was still as perfect as ever, but it seemed that in the mirror she had broken out in an unfortunate case of purple spots. On each spot, in bright red, was written either Murderess, Morlock's Sister, or Traitor to the Crown.

"I believe I can see now which of you truly cares for me," said the prince with a smile.

Xolynda turned from the mirror with a fierce, toothy grin. "Good! Now, we must hurry. If we don't, we'll be late for our wedding."

"Oh, I don't think there's going to be any wedding, Xolynda," Theodore continued in a light, breezy voice.

Xolynda knit her brows together. "What are you talking about?" she asked, not sounding in the least amused. "You just said you can see which of us is telling the truth. I'm obviously the real Xolynda. That blue monster over there-"

The prince's smile vanished without a trace. His normally pleasant face darkened. Xolynda took a startled step back. "Theodore-"

"That 'blue monster' as you so indelicately put it just happens to be one of my closest and dearest friends. She and her kind have saved my life and my kingdom more times than I care to count. I owe her everything! If it hadn't been for her, there would have been no one to prevent you from murdering me and usurping my throne, Morlock's sister!"

Xolynda's look of stunned disbelief slowly morphed to one of cold, calculating evil. "So," she said, her silvery voice sleek and oily. "The eavesdroppers have told their tale. Well, my cover may be blown, but I'm not beaten yet. Nettles," she cried with a tinkling bark of laughter. The giant, green snake came slithering eagerly through the open door.

"Now we'll see if any of you clever peasants are immune to snake venom! Theodore, my love," she crowed, grabbing his arm with a startling strength, "we're going to get married, right now, whether you like it or not. Come along!"

Turning her back on the terrified Smurfs as they struggled with her poisonous pet, Xolynda attempted to yank Theodore after her into the hall. Theodore grabbed hold of the door frame, stopping their progress. Xolynda pulled harder, but Theodore hung on for dear life.

"Guards!" he shouted. "Help me!" But it was to no avail. Every person in the kingdom had gone to the cathedral and was now anxiously waiting for the wedding to begin.

Nettles hissed and stabbed, shooting his head forward in repeated attempts to sting the Smurfs. Clumsy aimed a kick at the snake's thick middle, but missed and went crashing to the floor. With astonishing speed, the snake turned and flew towards him, barely touching the carpet. Brainy tore one of Theodore's books from the shelf and slammed it down between the snake and his friend. Nettles smashed into it. Brainy quickly helped Clumsy to his feet.

"Stand on the desk, Clumsy," said Brainy, jumping up onto one of the plush chairs. "It can't reach you up there!"

"I won't go, Xolynda," Theodore grunted from the doorway, still struggling against her super-human strength. "I refuse to marry a murderess!"

"You'll come!" Xolynda heaved, nearly pulling the prince's arm from its socket. Theodore let out a sharp yelp of pain. "You'll come in pieces if it's the only way to get you to the altar! I must have this kingdom!"

"You're just like your brother, you know that?" Theodore panted, latching even harder onto the door frame with his elbow. "I'm surprised you didn't get him to help you."

"Oh, Morlock was a great help to me. He told me the best way to get to you-through that puddle of romantic mush you call a heart!" She gave another tug, ripping the sleeve of his royal robe.

"So, where is he now?" Theodore groaned as she dug her long fingernails into his forearm, trying to get a better grip. "Did you free him when you broke out of your cell?"

Xolynda laughed. "Oh, I freed him all right. I had my dear little Nettles assist in his release. You won't have to worry about him anymore!"

Theodore was appalled. "Your own brother!" he exclaimed. "You are despicable!"

"Yes, and I'm soon to be Queen if you'll just let go of that blasted door frame!"

"Never!" Theodore cried, feeling it was worth the loss of his arm so long as Xolynda never managed to drag him to the altar.

"Smurfette!" exclaimed Hefty from beside the tapestry. "It's headed your way! Jump over it!"

Smurfette made a spectacular leap in her high heeled shoes and landed flawlessly at the tail end of the snake. A furious Nettles doubled back on itself, aiming this time for Hefty's feet.

"Hefty!" his three companions exclaimed. Hefty was backed into a corner. The snake was gaining on him so rapidly, he didn't have room to leap over its snapping jaws.

"Hang on, Hefty!" shouted Smurfette, pulling the mirror the raven-haired girl had given her from her dress pocket. "I'll stop the monster!"

With all her strength, Smurfette brought the flat back of the heavy, silver mirror down on the snake's livid, green head. The snake stopped its movement, momentarily stunned. Hefty took the opportunity to jump over it and join the others, who were standing on the room's furnishings.

Slowly, the snake shook its head. The blow from the mirror had addled its wits and made it very, very angry. It no longer cared who or what it bit, just so long as it could sink its fangs into something. Looking around desperately for something warm and fleshy, its long, flickering tongue caught the distinct flavor and odor of a human nearby. Shooting forward at its fastest slither, the snake sank its long fangs into the soft flesh of someone's bare ankle. There was a high-pitched scream, then a heavy thump. It's fury still unabated, the snake coiled itself around it's prone victim, biting over and over again. All too soon, the victim stopped struggling. Still, the snake continued biting, not caring that the victim's scream had sounded strangely familiar.

"Oh, my smurfness! It's horrible!"

"Did you see that?"

"It went right for her, I've never smurfed anything like it!"

"Um," Clumsy swallowed. "Gosh!"

"Quick, one of you Smurfs, toss me my dress sword. It's leaning against the wall beside my chair."

Clumsy was closest, so he jumped down from the desk and galloped over to the pale prince with his sword.

"Um, here you are, your highness. Uh, what're ya gonna do with it?"

"I'm going to put an end to Xolynda's evil once and for all."

Sliding the thin, sharp sword from its scabbard, the prince strode forward until he was standing over the body of his former fiancée. Her pet snake was still coiled around her motionless form, though her life had already fled. With one clean swipe, Theodore separated the snake's venomous head from its livid body. After several twitches, the snake lay as still as its mistress.

Slowly, the Smurfs climbed down from the furniture and came to join Theodore and Clumsy at the door. Clumsy had his face buried in his hands and his back to the two bodies in the hall.

"Is it over?" he asked, peeking cautiously through his fingers.

"Don't look, Smurfette," said Hefty, who had made the mistake of looking himself and was now feeling quite sick. "It's too horrible."

"Any senseless death is horrible," panted Prince Theodore, flexing his arms to make sure they still worked right. "Especially when the life that came before it was wasted on cruelty and greed."

The Smurfs nodded in agreement with their heads bowed.

"But, Theodore," said Smurfette, raising her head suddenly. "What about all the people in your kingdom! They're all waiting to see a royal wedding! What are you going to tell them?"

"The truth, I suppose. Though, I won't blame them if they don't believe me. I still find it hard to believe myself. She seemed such a wonderful girl! At times-at times I felt she understood me almost as well as you do."

Smurfette could feel her eyes getting moist. "Oh, Theodore," she sniffled. "Now I know why I made that silly wish!"

She threw herself at the prince, embracing him in a fierce hug. After a moment of surprise, Theodore returned it. The Smurfs stared at them, not quite sure how to feel.

"Well," sniffed Brainy. His eyes were starting to get moist as well. "Perhaps your kingdom will witness a royal wedding after all." Bursting into a sudden wave of uncontrollable tears, he collapsed into a chair, clutching his dripping glasses in his hands.

Clumsy was soon to join him. "Yeah," he managed, his voice trembling. "Oh, gosh! We'll miss you, Smurfette!" He fell sobbing into the chair next to Brainy, blowing his nose loudly on his brown, peasant shirt.

"Oh, smurf up, you two," said Hefty, trying to sound stronger than he felt. "At least-at least she'll be happy!" Despite himself, Hefty was soon occupying the third chair, sobbing harder than either of his companions.

After a long moment, Theodore and Smurfette ended their embrace. Theodore looked into her too-blue eyes, uncertain as to what to say next.

"So, what do you say," he asked softly. "Would you...well...would you like to marry me?" He wasn't quite sure how he wanted her to answer. He'd never truly considered marrying her before. But then, she'd always been blue and barely a foot high before.

"Oh, Theodore," said Smurfette, wiping her streaming eyes with her hands. "You are smurfy, but...but...," she smiled slowly, suddenly realizing that she had made her decision. And, to her relief, she was very happy with it. "I'm a Smurf," she said with conviction. "I belong with them, in Smurf Village. I hope you can understand."

To his surprise, Theodore was happy too. "I do understand." He smiled. "I really do! The Smurfs need you far more than I do." He sighed, saddened for a moment. "I wish I could fall in love with someone like you, someone as brave and smart, funny and honest. But, even if I never do, I will still be happy just to know that you're my friend."

Smurfette hugged him again. "Oh, Theo! I was right! You are the smurfiest human in the world!"

Brainy looked up from his hands and quickly replaced his glasses. "Did my ears just smurf what I thought they did?" he asked, his voice betraying his joy. "Smurfette's decided to stay with us?"

Hefty and Clumsy looked up as well, wiping their eyes on their sleeves. "She has!" they exclaimed happily. Smurfette nodded with an enormous smile.

"Three cheers for Smurfette," Hefty shouted. "A true, blue Smurf! Hip hip!"

"Hooray," cried Brainy and Clumsy. Theodore grinned.

"Hip hip!"

"Hooray!"

"Hip hip!"

"Hooray!"

"And, please, Smurfette," Hefty added with a gleam in his eye. "The next time you decide to go and fall in love with a human, please, don't ask Gourdy to help!"

"Oh, I don't think you have to worry, Hefty," Smurfette grinned. "No human could ever be smurfier than my good friend, Theodore!"