Chapter 2
The car ride was mostly spent in silence until he eventually spoke up
'so…Mckay'
She squirmed in her seat, she really did not want to be having this conversation right now. 'erm, yeah, he….er' she couldn't finish, she didn't know what to say that wouldn't make it worse.
'one question. I thought you hated that guy' He wasn't wrong, how to answer this…
'well yeah…and no, I don't know'
he could sense this awkwardness emanating out of her and decided to ease the conversation slightly.
'so, where's he going?'
'I don't know. Classified' she explained.
'bummer'
'not really' There! That was the confession he was hoping for, she didn't care where he was going so it obviously wasn't a long term commitment. He smiled inwardly, relieved. 'ah' he said, showing he understood.
'yeah' she confirmed.
She wanted to tell him that she wished it had been him, that when she was with Mckay she was imagining making love to him. Or even just to tell him that it didn't mean anything, but she couldn't. She wasn't allowed to. Officially there wasn't anything between her and Jack. She hated this arrangement they had, where they knew how each other felt but couldn't act on it, or even talk about it.
They neared the base. Thank God Sam thought. She couldn't help feeling that she had cheated on Jack, but that was crazy, they weren't in a relationship, hell they hadn't even mentioned it since the Zata'rc incident. At first she thought that his feelings had disappeared but when she saw the look on his face this morning… Anger? Jealousy? Disappointment? Sadness? Confusion? All mixed up. She dragged her hands down over her face, letting out a long sigh.
……………….