Chapter3

Later that day she was in her lab when Jonas came in. 'Hey Sam!' he was smiling. He was always smiling. In fact, it must have been contagious because she felt the corners of her lips going up as well. 'what's up?' he asked.

'nothing' Sam lied

'Sam, I haven't known you for that long, but I know when somethings wrong, tell me.'

She sighed, it would be nice to have someone to talk to about this. She was too embarrassed to tell Janet and she couldn't talk to Jack. Usually she would have gone to Daniel…

'Ok' she started 'I had a one night stand last night with someone I don't really like'

'One. Night. Stand?' he enquired.

'oh, its where you sleep with someone you don't intend on seeing again.'

'oh' said Jonas 'I see. So who is this guy?'

'Remember Rodney Mckay, who helped with the stargate situation a couple of weeks ago.'

'yeah, so why did you sleep with him if you don't like him?'

Sam took a deep breath, this was going to take a lot of explaining 'well its not like I wasn't attracted to him, I hated him, and yet there was something about him, you know?' Jonas nodded in understanding.

Jack was on his way to Carter's lab when he heard voices inside, it was her and Jonas, he could tell they were talking about last night. He decided to listen, knowing she would never open up to him.

'So, how did it happen?' Jonas pressed.

'Well, he called me last night to check on my hand, and then he asked me out to dinner… A few years ago I would've said no thanks but I had nothing better to do, and no other guy has asked me in years who isn't, you know dead,.. or evil.' She looked at the floor sadeley remembering Martouf, Narim, Orlin, Joe, the list was endless.

'anyway we went out, threw insults at each other, drank far TOO much, went home and one thing led to another.'

Outside Jack was listening, he felt wrong, but he couldn't move.

'so your not going to see him again?'

'I hope not' she confessed 'it would be too awkward, all the time I was with him, I was wishing he was..someone else' she added cryptically.

'Colonel O'neill' Jonas guessed.

'Is it that obvious?' she asked sadly.

'Well, only to anyone with eyes' he joked. She laughed slightly.

Outside Jacks heart was frantically beating she still likes me! Werhooo he thought. He was frozen to the spot still, he had to hear what she would say next.

'I feel awful Jonas, I used Mckay. I can't even remember when the last time I had sex, before last night was' she finished shyly.

'I know what you mean, on my planet my job didn't allow fraternization, even if I did have the time.' Sam smiled

'It's the job' she said 'you can't have it both ways, great job, or great love life.'

'yeah' he laughed, then went serious 'look, I bet the Colonel's in the same situation.

'Well actually, if I was keeping track, which I'm not, I'd wager its been 2 and half years' Jack was listening, he calculated back in his head hmmm he thought bang on, not keeping track my ass! he smiled.

'So, how about you?' she asked. 'when was the last time you..'

'last week'

'hey, you just said…'

'I know, I meant before then, it has been about five years. She was one of the nurses from the infirmary'

'Jonas!' she punched his arm playfully. They started laughing. Jack decided it was maybe time to go in now. He cleared his throat. 'Jonas, Carter' he acknowledged them.

'Sir'

'colonel, good morning'

'I need to talk to Carter. Alone'

'sure' he walked out, winking at Sam as he went out, she blushed.

'Sam, we need to talk'

'Yes Sir. What about?' she decided to play dumb.

'stuff' uh oh thought carter

'oh, ok'

he paced for a bit, suddenly speaking, making her jump.

'Seeing you with that jerk this morning got me thinking'

'yes sir'

'Sam, do me a favour, for this conversation don't call me sir, try not to think of my as your CO right now, ok?'

'ok' she answered nervously. She wondered where this could be going.

'We never go to have the conversation after the zanex detector thing because of… stuff' her mind flashed back to Martouf's body cradled in her arms. 'and after a while I thought you'd moved on, there was Orlin'

'um, he was just a crush, him and I never…'

he stopped pacing to look at her. 'This morning, I was hurt, I thought you'd rather be with someone you hate, than be with me' he finished wincing. He rarely opened up like this.

'That's not how it was!' she was hurt that he'd think that.

He spoke up again ' I hate these regulations and I hate that I haven't got the strength to defy them. I feel responsible that I somehow drove you to this guy' Sam couldn't remember him ever openly talking about his feelings like this. And the stuff he was saying.. he was either more insightful than she'd given him credit for, or he was listening outside the door. She figured the latter. 'so you heard me talking with Jonas' she guessed. It was his turn to blush, he looked sheepish. 'busted'

'actually, I'm kind of glad you heard, I would never have had the guts to tell you those things directly.'

'so… what happens now?'

'you tell me sir?' damn she was back to calling him sir

'Come over to my place after work, I need to give you a lift anyway. We'll talk some more, and I may even cook.' He winked.

'How could I resist that?' she said sincerely.