((This chapter is mostly a memory))

Five

"He'll kill you, I saw it in his eyes." Pulling the blanket back over her body, Lana watched Lancelot pace in the bedroom, his hands locked behind his back, his face deep in thought. "Oh please, Lancelot, calm down. What do you honestly think will happen?"

"Maybe we should have waited."

"It was all you're doing. I told you to keep it to ourselves."

"He's my closet friend."

"And an very angry brother." Lana giggled, yet Lancelot found nothing funny about it. Lana lifted her hands and opened her arms, calling Lancelot to her. "Lancelot, he didn't attempt to kill you, so I believe once time passes, he'll be fine with it." Lancelot finally allowed his eyes to touch hers, and with a quick witty smile, he knelt on the bed, and pulled the blanket back from her, touching her tiny, yet showing belly.

"Once you have arrived, Arthur will sing a different tune," Lancelot kissed Lana's belly, and brushed his fingers over the cloth, hiding it, with a smile. This child was his, and he loved it. "Arthur will grow to see us as a family."

"Oh how being a father will change you." Lana laughed, Lancelot reacted quickly, by leaning over and kissing her softly.

"Oh how you've changed me." Lancelot laughed.

"Lana...Lana?" She turned her face, it was Galahad, he was leaning over, and gripping her wrists, pulling her to her feet. "You alright," Lana looked down at the broken ice a few feet ahead once she was on her own two feet. Wiping the blood from her brow, she watched his cold breath float into the air. She'd fallen to the floor once the Saxon army had broke the ice, and in the moment she saw Dagonet, and saw what he gave up. Her white face was beaming in the cool air, and once Galahad saw her face, he could see everything,

"Yeah, fine." Galahad placed his hand on her shoulder, while her eyes welt up in despair. The pain from her mind was flustering into her face, and Galahad patted her back as their horses walked past them, and followed Arthur. "Where's Bors?" She managed to ask in a tearful whisper. Galahad closed his eyes and pulled Lana into his arms for a consoling hug. Rubbing her back, she rested her face on his shoulder.

"It'll be fine Lana."

"Arthur please," Lana's cape swooped over her legs and moving in motion with her steps. He shook his head while his armored flaps swayed over his shoulders, he was letting he anger out on the fireplace, he'd thrown two of his favorite books in the flames and ashes, even a metal from Rome. Lana stepped over the floor covered in pages, clothes, and other objects, lifting her long dress, she sat down on the bed.

"Don't Arthur me Lana. You know getting involved with one of the men isn't appropriate."

"What would you have me do Arthur? Settle down with one of the farmers? Their nice yes, but I've been around these men for nearly ten years, I know them. As they know me." Lana stood up and watched Arthur's brow flex over his desk, he slammed his hand over the scroll, written in ink. "They've protected me, helped me grow and taught me everything. You can't help what happened between myself and Lancelot. No one can."

"He knew better,"

"How?"

"He is my dearest friend! He knows better than to sleep with my sister!" Lana closed her eyes when Arthur raised himself over his desk, and his voice boomed over her ears.

"This isn't a faze, nor something you can stop Arthur. He and I have been for nearly two years." Lana admitted in a whisper. But Arthur's fury flashed again, in a heat of rage, he tossed his chair to the side.

"I swore to the lord than when our duty is over, you will return with me to Rome, and this life we've been living, will no longer be attached to us! You will find a husband, not a Knight. And you will live without fear of a fight, nor death from a sword!" Arthur stepped closer, his sturdy body came inches from hers, and his eyes lashed down at her own.

"And I decided long ago that I will marry someone strong, someone I respect. And there are no other men on this island that I respect more than those men. More than you're self, or Gawain, Lancelot, Dagonet, Galahad, Bors, Tristan." Lana took a breath as Arthur glared down at her, the fire cracking in the background. "Lancelot as arrogant and rude, heartless as he can be. There is far more to him than anyone can know. We have grown fond of one another." Lana crept her hands together, and lowered her eyes to the tiled floor, staring at the pair of feet below.

"Fond, and when the day comes when you must put that sword in his grave, will you're fondness save what you lost?" Arthur hissed, what if Lancelot died? What then?

"We all might die, I might die tomorrow from a fault on the battle field. But you know it's a chance we must all take."

"No." Arthur spun around, his cape hitting her knees and his face now towards the flames. "You are not here by order, you are here by my allowing. Once the weather clears, you will go to Rome." Arthur's voice called sternly. "You will never pick up a sword for battle again Lana."

"Don't get petty Arthur," Lana didn't take his threat seriously, and raising her face, she narrowed her stare, holding her gaze to his back. "Rome isn't my home, after all these years, you realize my home is where I make it. Rome is your home, never mine."

"You are the brother of a Christian, and a leader of Rome."

"I am adopted by you, and a Pagan. As much as converting to your faith would be nice, that isn't whom I am. Rome isn't my home." Lana whispered.

"The Roman captain has requested I send a Knight, and show our strategies, our fighting style, and help distribute their army." Arthur crossed his arms, his armor clanged together while her shifted his weight, then finally turning to view Lana. Lana raised her eyes up at him, and with her mouth shut, her brown eyes sneered at his sight. "I will send you."

"Making me leave will do nothing between Lancelot and myself. All you'll do is piss us off." And with that Arthur was silent, his eyes traveled to the window, where the wind whistled in the bare night. "Oh what you weave Arthur. Sending me away, is that truly you're answer? Shipping me off to Rome, pawning me off!" Lana shouted.

"You can't be with one of these men. What heart break you will have the day they don't come home is something I'm not willing to bare, or allow you to experience. Understand sister, this is all to protect you, like you claim we do so well."

"These men are deep within my hearts, everyday I wish to grant them life. Lancelot will always be apart of me. Nothing can change that." Lana's voice was calming, and softer than before. "Send me to Rome, I will go with my head high, but I will only think of what might happen in my absence."

A soft rustle merged around her ears, a warm smile came over her lips, almost as though she'd forgotten where she was, in this hell. Opening her eyes, she was able to witness Arthur leaving the wagon. Moving the fur from her body, she sat up, they where on a trail, and why was she in a wagon? Turning to her side, she saw Guinevere, her piercing eyes on her, and with stiff smirk on her lips. Her curled hair waved in the wind, Lana cleared her throat before speaking.

"What did he want?" She asked, it had to be the first time she'd spoken to her in private.

"Give me bread, and he put that blanket back over you." Guinevere stated while nodded at the blanket, Lana ran her fingers in the fur. "You passed out after the battle, he and three others put you in here." Guinevere noticed her confusion and smiled. "Lancelot, the long hair one, and the one with fluffy hair, and innocent eyes." Lana smiled, that is how she always thought of Galahad, innocent eyes. And Gawain, long braided hair.

"I'm exhausted. I traveled back from Rome, rode almost day and night. If it wasn't for needing food and water, I would have gotten to the out post sooner." Lana leaned her body back and looked at Guinevere.

"Which one is yours?" Lana laughed, which one was hers? Guinevere was serious though, and Lana just smiled.

"None really. Arthur is my brother -- although we look nothing alike. Galahad is my drinking buddy, and kind friend. Lancelot, well, he keeps his distance, or shall I say I do. Bors is like my father and body guard wrapped into one. Dagonet, well, he teaches me tricks. Tristan, we fight together, and speak of things most woman shouldn't. And Gawain, he keeps me sane." Lana looked through the clothed wagon, she saw her horse Morty, and smiling she turned back to Guinevere.

"So you and Gawain?" Guinevere smiled and quickly continued. "It's our secret."

"Arthur would throw another fit."

"Another?"

"Long story." Lana pulled her blanket over her shoulders and sighed. "It's nice having another woman around, where were you years ago?" Lana laughed, and once she took another look outside, she could help but remember all she'd dreamt moments before. Oh how quickly things fall apart. "Besides, looks like you can hold your own in battle as well."

Spotting Arthur in the emerging darkness, Lana spoke again quickly.

"Wonder if he'll allow me to ride. You see he's not too happy with me right now."

"Why is that?"

"I had the power to make this mission disappear." Lana thought, but no words escaped her lips. In Arthur's mind, Lana betrayed him, and what he sent her to Rome to do was plan out armies, attacks, and strategy, while the men thought it was to become a Scholar. Yet Lana and Arthur said nothing to them, keeping her mission secret.

"Arthur is a strong proud man." Lana turned back to Guinevere, she truly as the most beautiful Woad she'd ever seen, and she figured Arthur would think the same. "Guinevere, make sure you are ready for that. Because once you are wrapped in him, you will be his forever. That is why none of his Knights leave him, and always does his bidding. He had this power within, you want to listen, you want to do his bidding. He is, after all, the greatest man I've known." Lana gave a quick last smile, before turning her feet over the edge of the wagon.

"Lana, is you name right?"

"Yes, Lana Castus." it was the first time Lana had used Arthur's last name, her chest rose with a breath, and as Guinevere smiled, she nodded her head.