Disclaimer: Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground

Across Eternity

"Mmmmmff," Tom Paris woke slowly from a sound sleep to a persistent poking sensation in his ribs.

"Tom, are you awake?" came the whispered voice of his wife.

"I am now." He sounded petulant. "And why are you whispering? I'm the only one in here, and you're trying to wake me up."

"Quit being an ass," B'Elanna's voice was louder now. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away," Tom said theatrically.

"When are we going to tell people?"

"About what?"

"You know about what. About the baby."

"B'Ela, it was your idea to not tell anybody. We can start buttonholing people in the corridors any time you want." He yawned over the last half of his statement.

"Well, I didn't want to because I was worried."

"About the baby?" Tom's tone had gotten more serious, and he reached over in the darkness to clasp her hand. "The doc says everything is fine. She's fine." B'Elanna heard the smile in his voice.

"I'm worried about Chakotay."

"What's wrong with Chakotay?"

"I don't know how he'll feel about the baby."

"Why does he get an opinion? It's not like he's the father or anything," Tom cracked, and got an elbow in his chest for his trouble. "Ow! Damn, B'Elanna!"

"Tom, can you be serious for one damn minute! I'm serious!" She waited a moment for a murmured apology, and continued speaking once she got it. "He's still so… sad. And I think he thinks nobody notices how much he misses her." She paused for a moment, contemplative. "Anyway, I just think this will make it worse."

Tom was silent for a moment, and then gathered her into his arms.

"B'Elanna, what happened to Harry and the captain was a tragedy, no question. But you can't hold back life forever. We can't keep this a secret forever. And if Chakotay found out from someone besides you, or if he found out that you were keeping it a secret because you felt sorry for him… I think that would be worse."

B'Elanna sighed. "I guess you're right. He just… he seems like he's on the outside looking in, and it seems so wrong…"

"That's always what Captain Janeway did. Held herself apart, thought it was better for the crew. Maybe he's just honoring her memory, by living out her example."

"I can't imagine him being alone for the rest of our journey," B'Elanna said softly.

"Nah, Chakotay won't make it! You just wait until we get to a spaceport with a blonde in it," Tom chortled. He kissed her hair, suddenly serious. "We'll start telling people tomorrow, okay?"

She kissed him back. "Thanks for listening."

"What can I say? I was a captive audience." He laughed, but the sound trailed off into kind of a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking, of who I wanted to tell first and - "

"Harry?"

"Yeah."

Harry reached out his hand to help her up the ramp leading into the ship. She was breathing heavily.

He glanced behind him anxiously, but there was no sound of pursuit.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," she panted. "Why do we have to keep leaving places this way?"

"How many contractions did you have on the way over here?"

"Just two," she said. Harry began to close the gangway. "Unless you count this one too."

"Why don't you get in the bed? I'll get us out of here."

"There's no way in hell I'm missing her maiden voyage… dear." She tacked on the endearment like an afterthought. Harry looked at her dourly, then, muttering something about "other maiden voyages that would happen right on the bridge deck, if she wasn't careful", he led her to the access tube to the bridge. There were no 'lifts on the ship. She climbed carefully, with Harry watchful behind her.

"Sit down, please!" Harry's voice was testy, as he leapt toward the helm when they arrived on the bridge of the Renaissance.

Kathryn raised one eyebrow at his temerity on her bridge, but let it pass, as she realized that traditional captain/crew roles would not work here. She sat in the captain's chair in the center of the small bridge, which also had a tactical console in front of it.

"Inputting the clearance code now," Harry said, his fingers moving rapidly over the helm. Something on the console turned green and chimed. "We're clear. Engaging engines."

There was a whir and a soft rumble as the Renaissance came to life, and began to rise slowly.

"Here we go," Kathryn murmured softly, exchanging a meaningful look with her husband. An alarm began to blare. "We're taking weapons fire! I'm putting it on screen," she said.

The viewer showed a small contingent of Gentarran police firing on their ship from the ground.

"Hand weapons won't touch her," Harry said confidently.

"Somebody's found out we're leaving." Kathryn was studying the tactical readouts carefully. Then, a realization dawned. "Harry, they're going to engage the security grid! Go, go, go!"

Harry pushed it to full throttle, and they were pressed back in their seats, as the inertial dampers struggled to compensate. The Renaissance shuddered and vibrated, encountered resistance, but tore through it. On the opposite side of the bridge, one station sparked and exploded.

"We must have gone through the grid at the exact time it went up. The power surge blew out the engineering station." Harry went over to assess the damage.

"How is it?"

"Fried relay," Harry responded. "Nothing that can't be fixed later. Can you patch engineering controls over to tactical?" He stopped suddenly, and looked at her, as if just remembering what was going on. "I'm sorry, Kathryn. What was I – you should be in bed… or something."

"I'm okay. I'll just sit here, while you get us somewhere safe." Her console chirped and became more brightly lit, as she shifted the control to tactical. She winced, shifted in her seat, and then added, "I wouldn't take too long." Her eyes widened as a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Do we have appropriate medical supplies on board? We thought the birth would occur on Gentarra Prime."

"We have supplies…or the replicator patterns needed to create them. I thought… in case there were other children…" he trailed off.

"I don't even want to think about that right now," Kathryn rolled her eyes, and groaned with another contraction.

"Where is a nice obscure nebula when you need one?" Harry muttered under his breath, conducting rapid sensor scans.

"Do you think they'll come after us?"

"If they're as secretive as Lurtak says, I think there could be pursuit," Harry said honestly.

"Is there a nebula?" Kathryn asked hopefully. "Or an asteroid field? Something that would take a while to scan?"

"At least they didn't see us. If they don't know you're pregnant and about to have a child, then they'll just think we got the hell out of Dodge, not that we stopped somewhere near by."

"What about another spaceport? Somewhere crowded, where we can hide in a docking bay?" Kathryn asked.

Harry shook his head dubiously. "I don't know. We'd probably have to register or ask permission to land there, like Gentarra Prime, and I don't like the idea of doing that when we're not very far away." He pored over his console for a moment, and then his face lit up hopefully. "Hey, a gas giant in the next system has over 2 dozen moons, only a few of them large enough to be worth charting. That could work."

He glanced at Kathryn when no affirmation was forthcoming, and saw that her lips were pressed tightly together. She was pale, but nodded at him.

"That was a long one," she said at length. Harry turned quickly back to his work.

"Setting in a course."

"Best… possible…speed, Mr. Kim."

Tuvok was grinning widely.

Well, he really wasn't, but to Chakotay, who glanced at him from the adjacent captain's chair, he was exuding satisfaction to a degree where he may as well have been smiling.

"Are we ready to break orbit, Commander?" Chakotay asked, trying not to get lost in the significance of the words. After nearly two years planetside, Voyager had been put back together, and was ready to continue the journey homeward.

"All departments have reported their readiness, Captain," his executive officer responded, tapping the console in the arm of his chair.

"Chakotay to Engineering. Are we ready, B'Elanna?"

"The engines are running at optimum. They were perfect on our run around the sun yesterday. We don't anticipate any problems."

Chakotay raised his eyebrows, as he glanced around at his bridge crew. Ayala stood stalwartly at tactical, his eyes looking straight ahead to the viewscreen. The only indication of his excitement was a repetitive flexing and extending of the fingers on his left hand. Ensign McKay was shifting her weight from foot to foot, and smiled at him giddily when he looked back at her.

She blushed, as she apparently realized that she was grinning at her captain like a fool, and returned her attention to her control panel. Chakotay couldn't help but smile in response.

"You ready to flex your muscles, Mr. Paris?" he asked.

"Just say the word, Captain," Tom's smile was jubilant, and Chakotay could hear it in his voice. And why wouldn't it be? Chakotay thought mistily. Resuming the course for home, new baby on the way. He still couldn't believe that one, but was happy for his friends. Part of him couldn't help but be almost envious of their familial bond. Kathryn, Kathryn, Kathryn, you should be here!

"Take her out. Resume course for the Alpha quadrant, taking care to avoid Fylari space." The injustice of that encounter still caused Chakotay ire.

"Duly noted, sir. Course and speed laid in."

"Engage," he said, and settled back in the chair. Voyager's engines accelerated smoothly, as she went to warp.

There was a keening cry of pain that coincided with the touchdown of the Renaissance on the seventh moon of the gas giant to which Harry had been referring. Harry turned on the sensor security net, that would alert them to anyone entering orbit, and made sure that the cloaking device was still performing without glitches. This was done in approximately 10 seconds, and then he ran to the access tube, and slid down the ladder, using the vertical bars rather than the rungs.

Kathryn was in bed, where she had finally conceded to go,sweaty and ashen, breathing heavily, and hunched over her protruding stomach.

"Hey," she greeted him somewhat incongruously, and with difficulty, when he flew into the room. "This.. really…hurts."

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked tenderly.

"Because you would have come down here. And then who would have flown the ship?"

"There are reasons why we installed that advanced autopiloting system and the security net… so someone wouldn't always have to be on the bridge." He reached for a medical tricorder and a hypospray. "Do you want something?" He gestured toward her with the hypospray.

"Do you really have to ask?"

He injected her, while the medical tricorder was scanning, and watched some of the pale, pinched look dissipate from her face. "You should have let me know," he chided softly. "Looks like you're ready. Have you been wanting to push?"

She nodded. "The contractions are coming on top of each other." She glanced at him suspiciously. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

He rolled his eyes at her slang. "I've been reading up on it. And I've had the Basic Starfleet Training. What kind of good would it do if I 'freaked out'? Do you feel better now?"

"Much," she nodded. The anesthetic had done its job. "You've got quite a bedside manner, Mr. Kim."

Approximately 40 minutes later, an exhausted Kathryn Janeway pushed one final time, as a slippery baby girl slid into the arms of her father. When Kathryn heard the thready wail of the newborn, she allowed herself to relax.

"Oh – oh God, oh Kathryn…she's gorgeous," Harry's voice and hands trembled, as he reached out to touch the baby's petal-soft cheek.

After the new arrival had been cleaned and scanned, she was placed gently in the arms of her mother. She had a full head of smooth black hair, and eyes so dark that the pupils could not be seen. Her brow was furrowed, as if she was not happy at being so unceremoniously removed from her safe, dark, warm world.

Harry plugged the tricorder into a port, to download the data into the ship's computer. "She's fine, perfectly healthy," he reported. "Seven pounds even." Then he went to Kathryn's bedside to join in adoration of the tiny human that was part of both of them.

Tears had created a film in Kathryn's eyes, so that she could only see her daughter through a blur. She laughed, when she blinked to clear them and they spilled down her cheeks.

"What are we going to call her?" she asked in a choked voice, as she counted fingers and toes. "You seem to have an affinity for this kind of thing." They had discussed names in a general way, but had decided to wait and meet their daughter before naming her.

"I was thinking," Harry began in the same shy way that he named the ship, and Kathryn laughed. He shot her a look, but continued, "What about Allanora?"

She looked at him, with a smile flitting at the corners of her mouth. "That's Gentarran for…"

"Hope," they said in unison.

"That's beautiful…perfect. Allanora Elizabeth Kim." She directed the name at the baby, but slanted a sideways glance at Harry. Now it was his turn to look touched. He nodded and smiled, after a moment of contemplative silence, thinking fondly of his once-upon-a-time love.

"That's… really nice. She would like that."

Ensign Elizabeth McKay couldn't sleep. Perhaps it was the distraction of watching the stars streak past her window in fluid lines. Perhaps it was that she had become unaccustomed to the soft, barely perceptible hum of the warp engines. She was restless.

After fighting it for nearly an hour, she gave up and dressed casually in a soft pink track suit. She brushed her long blond hair out of her face, but left it out of its usual braid.

"Maybe Neelix has some of that Rekellian chocolate swirl left," she said aloud, and then rolled her eyes at herself. She talked to herself often, and it had garnered her some odd looks in the past. She headed for the mess hall. It was 0230.

The mess hall was dimly lit, and Elizabeth saw with delight that someone had coffee on.

"Probably for Gamma shift," she murmured, and went around behind the counter to poke inside the refrigeration unit. "There is some left!" She put the container on the counter that Neelix normally stood behind, and went to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"I hope I can get to sleep after this. I don't want to be a mess on the bridge tomorrow," she said, as she poured the steaming black liquid.

"Drinking coffee is probably not the best way to get to sleep," rumbled a voice from behind her.

Elizabeth jumped at the unexpected sound of a voice behind her, and knocked her coffee cup off of the table, where it shattered. She barely noticed this, since she had also spilled coffee all over her outstretched arm.

The searing pain of it brought involuntary tears to her eyes. It was then that she realized that coffee and shards of ceramic were everywhere.

"Ensign McKay, are you all right?" She looked up into the tear-blurred features of her Captain, and writhed inwardly with embarrassment.

"Look what I've done!" she said with chagrin, reaching for a dishtowel behind Neelix's counter. "You startled me." There was a slight note of reproach in her voice, as she started trying to mop up the coffee.

"Ensign, leave that alone!" His voice was sharp with concern. "Let me see your hand."

She held out her injured hand, and he held it loosely across his palm, while he examined it. A red weal was already swelling across the back of her hand and three of her fingers. Her sleeve was splashed liberally with coffee. He took the dishtowel from her, and dabbed gently, trying to remove the scalding liquid from contact with her skin.

"The doctor needs to look at this. Can you make it to sickbay?" Ensign McKay nodded. "Then I'll clean this up."

"Oh, but sir – " Elizabeth was mortified. She had come prancing into the mess hall in the middle of the night, talking to herself, and when the Captain had just come up and spoken to her, she had jumped, broken things, spilled things, and burned herself. I am such an idiot!

"Don't argue with me, Ensign." His tone was stern, but his dark eyes twinkled at her.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." She didn't meet his eyes again, but walked across the mess hall to the exit, more breathless from his gaze than from the pain in her hand, which was now beginning to throb.

As Chakotay picked up the fragments of ceramic, he found his thoughts drifting back to Ensign McKay. She had been embarrassed, he could tell. And nervous around him. Is this what it was always like for Kathryn? He wondered. Never able to tell if someone was being real, or if they were afraid of her title?

Her long, blond hair had been in loose waves down her back, he realized, mopping up the coffee with the discarded dishtowel. She usually wore it in a braid. And the way her cheeks had flushed…you're a fool, Chakotay… and lecherous and old besides that, he berated himself. What is she, 30? And, if that weren't enough, she's an ensign under your command.

He wrung out the sodden dishtowel over the sink, and then threw it in the recycler.

Wasting all that coffee, he thought with a grin, turning his thoughts toward the one person that managed to comfort him and bring him pain, all at the same time. Kathryn would have been furious.

After spending the remainder of that day and the night on the seventh moon of the gas giant, Harry decided it was time to go. The further we are from Gentarra Prime, the better.

He was adamant in his refusal to allow Kathryn on the bridge for at least another day.

"I'm all right, Harry. You made that sling to fit over the chair at the science station so Alli could sit up there with us."

"Kathryn, you just had a baby. You don't need to be climbing up an access shaft!"

"I am perfectly capable of deciding what I am and am not able to do!"

Harry sat down beside her on the edge of the bed, and took both of her hands in his.

"Kathryn, you're the captain. I certainly can't tell you what to do. But I'm asking you to stay down here and give yourself a little more time to recover. You know that the Doctor would not have let you back on the bridge the day after you had a baby." She opened her mouth to protest, but he covered her lips with one open hand. "Don't do this for yourself. Do it for me. Please." His voice was gentle, and she felt the fight draining out of her. He was just looking out for their well-being.

"Fine," she said, somewhat grudgingly, but smiled. He kissed her gently and lingeringly, and smoothed one hand over her red-gold hair.

"Thank you," he said simply. "And look, I have a surprise for you." He went over to a wall next to her side of the bed, and pulled on the panel. It folded down like a desk, and a small array of consoles and monitors greeted her. "Bridge controls," he said cheerfully. "We could even patch command control down here, if we ever needed to. But this way you can keep apprised of what's going on."

"Thank you," she returned, sincerely. He really had thought of every contingency when rebuilding the interior of their ship. When she had seen the tiny infant restraint that he had designed, so that Alli could be on the bridge with them, she had nearly cried.

Harry was leaning over the crib, breathing in the sweet baby scent of his sleeping daughter.

"Rest. And let me know if you need anything?" It was a question not a statement, and Kathryn nodded in response.

"I promise."

Chakotay was halfway to sickbay before he realized where he was going, and immediately began mentally berating himself.

What? It's perfectly natural for a captain to make sure an injured crewmember is okay.

Yes, a captain checking on a crewmember. See that you remember that.

There are dozens of people on board more suited to her age anyway.

It does not serve you well that you even allow your thoughts to move in those directions.

I'm sure she wouldn't be interested. Besides, she's not Kathryn…

No, she's not. And you would do well to remember how Kathryn handled the crew… and why she wouldn't get involved with you.

Even though she loved me.

Did she? She never said anything to make you think that.

No, but I could tell.

Imagining things! The futile efforts of a lonely man.

I am lonely! And Kathryn did love me. It was unspoken, but very strong. Stronger than anything I've ever felt before. And maybe even stronger than death….

Being a little melodramatic, aren't you? The tragic, lonely captain, forever mourning the one he lost?

Chakotay shook himself out of his reverie, when his inner argument turned cruel. It was like prodding a wound, bringing nothing but pain, but irresistible nevertheless.

He did not go to sickbay to check on Ensign McKay.

The Renaissance had managed to put quite a bit of distance between her tiny crew and Gentarra Prime, when Kathryn and Harry decided to stop for some supplies and much needed R R.

Alli was sitting in her seat, entranced by her own waving fists. Harry gestured toward her, arguing that perhaps she was too little to venture down on some alien planet.

"We wouldn't go down to the surface if it was unsafe," Kathryn responded quickly. "She's almost 4 months old, and has never even been on a planet. Wouldn't you want to breathe fresh air and feel sunshine on your skin?"

"You two are going to constantly gang up on me, aren't you?" Harry said, conceding to Kathryn's suggestion with a mock glower.

"Well, of course we are, aren't we?" Kathryn spoke to her baby girl, who waved one fist happily and cooed.

It took Harry another two weeks to find a suitable center for trade and tourism, and it was only a short detour from their course heading for home. The planet was Sikarion, and was well-known for a friendly and safe atmosphere, according to reports in the Gentarran database, although it appeared that few Gentarrans regularly ventured that far away from their home planet.

Sikarion had a docking bay in orbit for smaller spacecraft, and a large transporter system that beamed the new arrivals down to the surface, if the ship did not have one of its own. After Harry secured the Renaissance, they waited patiently in the queue for transport to the surface.

"We should have just beamed down ourselves," Harry grumbled, looking at the long line.

"The docking bay is safer than just leaving the Renaissance in orbit. Besides, this way, we don't have to use our energy to transport down," Kathryn said, logically.

After they arrived on the surface, they took some of the items they had for trade to an appraisal booth. They were then given Sikari currency in exchange.

Strolling through the bustling Sikari marketplace, Kathryn and Harry both had uncomfortable reminders of the Gentarran tradestalls on that day that seemed so long ago. She moved closer to him, and he clasped her free hand. Her other hand was resting softly on Alli's back, as she slept in the sling, cradled next to her mother's heart.

"What are the chances that this planet has a door to another dimension too?" Harry cracked, in a loud whisper. Kathryn grinned.

"Please don't tempt the Fates, Harry. I've already had enough 'what are the chances' moments in the last decade to last me the rest of my life."

"Hell, we've had enough of those moments in the last year alone!" Harry responded. "As if the alternate universe weren't enough, you even married your Operations officer. And while you were probably irresistibly swept off of your feet by his dashing looks and charm, I don't think Starfleet would approve, do you?"

"You flatter yourself, Ensign," Kathryn said with a laugh. "This entire chapter has convinced me that there is no point in making plans for your life. Because when you do, you - " she broke off suddenly, looking at a point just over Harry's shoulder. "Oh my God," she breathed.

Harry turned, not really sure what he was expecting to see, but it was not a nondescript stall with an oily looking salesman standing at the counter.

"Kathryn, it's just a - "

"No! Look at what he's selling!" Kathryn's voice had still not risen above a whisper. Harry made himself focus on what the man was holding and what he was saying about the items being hawked.

"Image disks! Image disks for sale! See cultures of a thousand worlds from all over the galaxy. What do other worlds consider entertainment? Find out when you watch…" the saleman's voice droned on, but Harry stopped listening, as he focused on the data module in the Sikari's hand.

The Federation logo.

"Voyager's been here!" Harry realized suddenly, making his way quickly across to the stall in question. "Where did you get those?" he asked the salesman without preamble.

"I bought them from the Government Appraisal Department. It was perfectly legal," the Sikari huffed.

"Why have they not sold? Haven't you had them for about two years?"

"No," the salesman drawled, looking at them oddly. "I just got them in a week or so ago."

"How long is the turnaround in the Appraisal Department?" Harry asked with disbelief.

"Why would the Appraisers sit on merchandise? They get it out on the streets within 2 business days. People want to make money." He looked at the disk in disgust. "The disks usually sell quickly, but nobody has ever heard of 'Earth'. I've had these for almost a week now. But the Charelian holo-plays," he leered for a moment, "..now those are hot sellers." He gestured toward a small monitor sitting on the corner of the counter. "You're welcome to look at a sample disk."

Kathryn and Harry exchanged glances, afraid to think about what this could mean. Kathryn tossed her braid back over one shoulder.

"How much do you want for all of them – all of the ones with that logo?" Kathryn asked, trying not to sound breathless.

He named an outrageous sum, which Kathryn refused. After a little bit of haggling, an agreement was reached. Kathryn suspected that the salesman had cheated her anyway, because he looked entirely too satisfied with himself. He must have been feeling expansive after his profit, because, as he was tying up their purchases, he offered,

"Other people like you were here not too long ago. I remember seeing 'em… red and black, yellow and black uniforms. Badges like that…" he gestured toward Kathryn's commbadge, which had become visible when Kathryn pushed her braid back over her shoulder.

"When? When were they here?" Harry was gripping the countertop so tightly that his knuckles were white.

"Well, it was fairly recent." His tone was uncertain. "I can't be sure."

Kathryn fixed him with a steely glare, and slid two of the larger coins across the counter to him. He smiled, not very pleasantly.

"Yes, I remember now. It was 8 days ago… because I saw them the same day that H'ikre's booth caught on fire. There was such a commotion that day, that I - " but Kathryn and Harry had lost interest, and were threading their way through other patrons wordlessly.

"What in the hell happened?" Kathryn said, looking dazed. "Can we really be only a week behind them?"

"It's not possible," Harry said slowly. He appeared as if he had sustained one too many blows from a blunt object. "He's got to be mistaken."

They continued meandering through the marketplace, occasionally making a purchase, but mostly asking about the mysterious strangers from the "other side of the universe". Some people did not remember them at all, but the merchants who did all remembered the fire occurring the same day.

Alli woke up fussing, and Kathryn slunk off to a quiet spot to feed her, while Harry got them some lunch from a nearby food stand.

When he returned, he was visibly shaken. Alarm flared through Kathryn, causing her to straighten up suddenly, disturbing Alli, who began to wail.

"Harry, what's wrong?" she asked urgently, bouncing Alli gently to soothe the annoyed infant.

"Nothing, nothing," he insisted. "I asked the vendor about Voyager, while I was ordering, and he - " Harry took a deep breath. "He described Chakotay. I didn't say anything about the crew, just mentioned the communicator, and he talked about a tall dark man in a red and black uniform, with strange markings on his face."

"Let's go!" Kathryn jumped up, excitement apparent in every feature. "We can't lose another minute, if we're going to try to catch them. Will the warp trail have disintegrated by now?"

"It would probably be pretty hard to trace back home," Harry answered slowly. "But out here, a Federation signature is going to be pretty unique. We can't match their top speed though; they may just outrun us."

"Chakotay wouldn't tax the engines like that unless they're being pursued," Kathryn responded, with absolute certainty. "If we can find them, we can catch them." She hurried in the general direction of the transporter, with Harry following behind, a worried look on his face.

If we do achieve the impossible and reunite with Voyager, what will that mean for us?

Voyager was cruising along at warp 6, traveling as effortlessly and unhindered as it had been since the day they returned to space. Chakotay often thought that the spirits must have felt sorry for them, after all they had had to endure thus far.

There was a noise from a console somewhere behind him.

"Captain?" Ensign McKay said. Chakotay felt himself repress a smile at the sound of Elizabeth's voice. "We're being hailed."

TBC

Next chapter: Reunion

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