Thank you all who took the time to review. This is my all time favorite chapter!!! Enjoy.
Act II
Open on exterior shot of the Gryffindor common room.
RON VOICEOVER: You want some breakfast, 'Mione?
Cut to inside the common room. Ron and Hermione sitting on the couch together.
HERMIONE: We don't have to go to class?
RON: Nah, school's shut down for the day. Good thing, too. The professors start dancing around me, I don't know if I can deal. It's a Snape thing. So, waffles?
HERMIONE: Will you still get me waffles when we're older?
RON: No, I'll only get them for myself, but knowing you, you will get half of them. (Hermione shoots him a dangerous glance) Hey, how about omelets? I could go for an omelet. I've almost got that-
Ron continues talking unintelligibly as Hermione stands up and begins to sing to the camera.
Song: "I'll Never Tell"
HERMIONE:
This is the boy that my joy is entangled
In, in my mind.
My claim to fame was my books not my looks and
The library's mine!
A Weasley he is,
The name I made, I'll trade for his
The only trouble is [pauses, shakes her head]
I'll never tell.
Hermione gets up and walks off. Ron slides into her spot and sings to the camera.
RON: She is the one
She's such wonderful fun
Her hair and her face.
Hermione returns, sits beside him to put on her slippers. Ron goes to fondle her knee, but catches himself and looks away shyly.
RON:
Warm are my toes when they goes in her clothes- [catches himself]
Close Embrace! Close embrace! [hugs himself, wistfully thinking of her]
I'd never let her go [Hermione putting slippers on]
The love we've known I want to grow
I should go and let her- no…
I'll never tell.
BOTH: 'Cause there's nothing to tell.
Cut to the two of them leaving the common room, emerging into the hallway in front of the Fat Lady and quickly finding their way to the Great Hall.
HERMIONE: (sits)
He bores.
RON: (sits next to her)
She teases.
HERMIONE: Please pass me the peas-es.
RON: [looks at the food on the tables]
She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe.
Ron picks up a green cheese, sniffs it and makes an "ew" face.
HERMIONE: I talk, he sneezes.
RON: She never knows where "Peeves" is.
[Cut to Peeves floating just behind Hermione, silently making faces, and giving her "bunny ears" behind her back.]
HERMIONE: His Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes make me run and hide! [Ron looks annoyed, puts the cheese back]
BOTH: Love's vibe is kind of fluffy
RON: Like she acts all proud and stuffy
HERMIONE: Like his clothes are kind of scruffy
RON: Like her cheeks are way too puffy.
BOTH: [giving each other fake smiles]
But it's all very well
'Cause God knows, I'll never tell!
Hermione opens the Daily Prophet. The headline on the front page reads: MAYHEM CAUSED. HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED, OFFICIALS SAY.
HERMIONE:
When things get scary,
He just hides behind his Harry! [Ron gives her a look]
Now look, he's getting wary
'Cause he knows that I know.
RON: She reads
She's nerdy
She's also kinda perty [pretty]
She nev-
HERMIONE: His hands are dirty!
RON: This is my verse, hello!
She-
Hermione gets up and begins to dance flapper style.
HERMIONE: (spoken) Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!
Ron joins the dance and they dance together around the Gryffindor table.
BOTH: You know...
RON: You're quite the charmer.
HERMIONE: My knight in armor.
['Cause of McGonnagall's chess set, remember]
RON:
You're the fittest and so witty
And you're also really pretty
With your firm yet supple- ti- [catches himself]
Tight embrace!
They resume dancing, then go to opposite sides of the Gryffindor table and sit.
HERMIONE: He's great
RON: She's greater
HERMIONE: I'll think this over later
RON: But I could never date her 'cause I'm scared as hell.
HERMIONE:
I've read some books, but
They never tell you what's what.
They only ever focus on the wedding bells.
They get up, crawl across the table toward each other.
BOTH:
I lied
I said I hated
I've tried
But these emotions won't quell
They sit on top of the table with their backs pressed against each other.
RON: Is she looking for a pot of gold?
HERMIONE: I'm a Gryffindor I should be more bold. (stands up]
RON: Will she like me more than that bum, stupid Victor "I am dumb" Krum?
HERMIONE: Oh my Ronnie's such a hottie, but I think he likes Parvati.
They get up, resume dancing.
RON: She's so cunnin'.
HERMIONE: Think I love him.
RON: I can't wait until we're tonguin'.
BOTH:
There could really be some fun in our future as well!
But I don't think I'll ever tell!
I don't have the courage to tell!
They walk around the table, toward the benches in the Entrance Hall.
RON: My lips are sealed
HERMIONE: He won't take the hint.
RON:
Nothing to see
Move it along
BOTH:
I'll never
Tell!
They both fall back onto the sofa, clutching each other and laughing fake Hollywood-musical laughs.
End of song "I'll Never Tell."
Cut to a long straight hallway in the castle. Hermione and Ron are on either side of Lupin, all walking down the corridor. Hermione and Ron both talking at once.
RO N: It's a nightmare.
HERMIONE: It has to be stopped.
RON: It's a plague. It's like a nightmare about a plague.
HERMIONE: It was like we were being watched.
RON: It's like, I didn't wanna be saying things-
HERMIONE: Like there was a wall missing-
RON: -but they just kept pouring out.
HERMIONE: -wherever we went in the castle.
RON: And they rhymed and they were mean and
HERMIONE: Like there were only three walls and not a fourth wall and
[Next two lines together]
RON: My hands are not dirty!
HERMIONE: My cheeks are not puffy!
They stop talking over each other.
RON: Lupin, you've got to stop it.
LUPIN: Well, I am looking into some leads, and I-
HERMIONE: It's just, clearly our number is a fluffy, crazy number and there's never going to be a breakthrough on it.
RON: Work with me, Werewolf man. Give me a wand and show me where to point it.
We hear a woman singing but we can't see her or make out the words yet.
LUPIN: Well now, Ron, it's not quite that simple. But I have learned about some disturbing things. Basically-
They continue talking in the background as we focus on a woman (Divinations Professor Sybil Trelawney) who is standing by an empty classroom singing to Filch. Filch is writing something on a pad and we see in the background that one of the torches is off the wall, her crystal ball sitting in it's place, some of the paintings are damaged and their occupants pointing accusing fingers. As she sings we can see Lupin, Ron, and Hermione standing and talking in background.
TRELAWNEY:
I've been having a bad, bad day.
Why can't you put that pad away?
I'm asking you please no
It isn't right, it isn't fair
It was Peeves' fault I can swear
I think that he went over there
[Filch gives her the reprimand]
Why can't you let it go?
My tea leaves said you're a bear
And I just knew you wouldn't care
Hey, I'm not wearing underwear...
She continues singing in the background as Ron, Hermione, and Lupin resume walking and talking.
RON: As in burnt up? Somebody setting them on fire? That's nuts!
HERMIONE: (glares at Ron) I don't know. One more verse of our little ditty and I would've been looking for a gas can.
LUPIN: Well, clearly emotions are running high. (We see people in background dancing together - it's McGonagall and Dumbledore) But as far as I can tell it was burnt up from the inside, spontaneously combusted. (Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle are in the background dancing with mops, Filch must have given them detention.) I've only seen the one. I was able to examine it while the Aurors were taking witness arias.
RON: Okay, but we're sure that the things are related: the singing and dancing, and burning and dying.
They stop walking. The Slytherins continue their dance in background.
LUPIN: We're not sure of much. Harry's looking for leads with the local demon hunters, at least ... in theory he is, but ... he doesn't seem to-
RON: He's easing back into it. His godfather fell into an untold death dimension. Ergo the weirdness. The important thing is to be there for him.
LUPIN: (shakes head) I'm helping him as much as I can, but, uh...
Hermione pats Lupin awkwardly on the shoulder.