Chapter 23.

Liberty and Love, Gained and Lost

Wolf woke from a deep sleep suddenly, half sitting up with a yelp and disturbing the rest of the pack as they slumbered the day away. He got a small nip of annoyance on the arm from one of them before lying back down, trying to remember what he had been dreaming about. He had been dreaming a lot actually, strange visions passing through his mind virtually every time he tried to rest.

He recalled that there had been a human woman in most of the dreams, but his wolf-self did not care to remember her name or her face just now. All humans were dangerous, it reasoned. But he was curious about her. She had the scent of a loved one, she had had some meaning to him. He was vaguely puzzled, but in true wolf fashion he put such things out of his mind, concentrating purely on the here and now. Wolfs did not particularly dwell on the past, nor worry about the future the way humans did. The thought of humans made his lip curl in distaste and fear. Far better to stay here where he was safe and accepted for being himself. Of course he was only half himself, but Wolf avoiding thinking about things like that.

He could not deny that the past week or however long it had been (he had started to lose track of time passing) had been both rewarding and addictive. He had plunged fully into pack life. At night they ran down large game. Only yesterday they had brought down a substantial forest buck, an effort possible only by their close teamwork, pooling their skills and intelligence. They had gorged themselves, defending the kill from scavengers and the like. By day they rested in the ferns, sleeping off meals, or lying about telling stories of times past.

Wolf had brought many new tales to the pack and they sat engrossed as he descibed his birth country and relayed it's legends to them. They seemed envious of the pivotal role that wolfs had played in the 9 Kingdoms legends, and had laughed with him when he described how he had won the pardon from the King.

"Oh, that must have been a sight. The humans would not have been happy with their King that day!" they chortled.

Wolf in turn learned that one of his kind had not been seen nor heard of for countless wolf generations and most had died horrible deaths at the hands of the white humans from across the sea.

"We carry our ancestors memories within us, so when we heard your voice that night, it was like our ancient spirit brothers speaking to us. We could not resist finding you out. We are glad the Goddess lent you strength to free yourself. Maybe now your kind can return to the world, play the role you once did so long ago" said the alpha male.

"But things are different now. Men are different. They no longer seek the old communion with us they once did. And too many of our family lines have been broken" replied an ancient she-wolf sadly. "But, some still remain. The Earth People still roam these forests from time to time. I have seen them. They too have felt their lines fail. No, it is not likely we will see your kind again. The men now tell their own tales about the man-wolf, but their scribblings and their books have long been inaccurate, we are sure of this" she continued.

Hmm, books. He recalled his pile of books then, though where he had left them was a mystery. Their memory was closely linked to the human woman. His wolf-mind shied away once more, despite the growing insistence from an annoying little voice in his head which was becoming something of a nuisence. It kept shouting at him, distracting him from the more important business of scratching, hunting and eating.

He squirmed once more in his tangle of wolf friends, finally deciding to get up rather than risk the ire of the big alpha. The two had an understanding, a truce of sorts, but he still didn't wish to risk being cast out. He tiptoed away, noticing that the ever present sentry was a little way off, keeping watch whilst the others slept. Today's guard was an ancient female, the mother of the current alpha female, with still the status of that honour herself. He approached her slowly, giving her time to reject him should she choose. She glanced at him only, giving a non committal answer. He sat himself down next to her.

"Greetings, brother" she spoke.

Wolf's fingers found a particularly itchy spot right behind her left ear and she sighed contently. At least his puny hairless body had some good points she thought to herself.

"You know, were I a young she-wolf in her prime, I would offer myself to you as mate" she said seriously.

"I am mated already" Wolf replied automatically. He sat up straight, wondering where those words had come from. Of course he was mated. He tried desperately to picture his mates' face. Almost she was there, floating just out of reach.

"Where is this mate, new friend?" said the she-wolf, with concern. This male was not acting like a proper mated wolf. He should be out looking for her!

"I don't remember! I lost her!" he yelped, holding his head in his hands as if trying to claw the information out of it. That irritating little voice was thundering in his mind now, making his head spin. Suddenly a new voice came to him from his subconcious, a humans voice, soft and female.

"I think I love you, Wolf" it said with passion and an image formed against his closed eyes. A small human female, very slight and delicate, curling brown hair, big blue eyes, hand resting protectively on her lower stomach. Urged on by his struggling man-self, he saw the girl in a long string of images, running laughing through the night, asleep in bed, naked in the bath, eyes awash with desire as she looked at him. He rocked back and forth. A human! His mate and cub-mother! His wolf-mind recoiled, throwing up at him his most recent memories of humans; the black clad men, their nasty pain making tools, their hatred and judgement. Did this mate hate him too?

The she-wolf watched the half-wolf as he fought with himself. It was an unusual and disturbing display. She wondered if he were moon mad, or if he had eaten one of the horrid poison baits that men farmers sometimes left out for them. She saw water come from his eyes as he whined and fussed. Eventually he seemed to come to some truce within himself and when he looked at her appologeticly she pretended diplomatically not to have seen anything amiss. Inside, she worried and wondered. Presently the male fell back to sleep and she left her shady spot, approaching one of her pack mates, rousing him. After a brief discussion she left, heading off purposefully in a certain direction where she hoped she might find answers.

Some few hours later she looked down upon the small camp in the growing twilight. They were a non-threatening group of Earth people, with no weapons she could see. They were cooking some meat on a fire. One of the party caught her attention. It was a female as old as she herself, a wise one she had seen before. The old one knew she was there, hiding in the trees, glancing in her direction and bobbing her head in silent recognition. Then, quite deliberately, the old one looked away, directly at another female human, this one much younger. This one had crept away from the others a little and had rummaged around in her belongings. She drew out a small piece of cloth, holding it to her own nose, wrapping her arms about it. This cloth had a strong scent, one the she-wolf had come to know well.

Silently she turned, melting into the darkening trees.