Chapter 1

Not many knew of her dreams, that didn't make them any less real or important, though. Her life was far from perfect now, only making her convictions stronger. She knew what she wanted and she was going to get it.

Elizabeth didn't think her life was horrible either. She rather liked it. Or most of it. Sure there were things that she figured she could do without, yet that was what made her, her. She took the good with the bad, no matter what. And many saw the bad as much worse than she saw it. Whatever happened to her, whoever felt pity for her, she always knew it could be worse. And she knew that the, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" saying was absolutely true. Everything was only making her more determined to fulfill all her dreams.

That's how she'd felt in high school and the first two or three years of college. But over the last year or so, Elizabeth had realized just how close she was to all her dreams. In two months she would get her masters in English and then she'd move to Los Angeles to start her future. She hadn't given up even when so many around her thought she would, expected her to. She'd learned long ago that the only person she could truly rely on was herself. If she couldn't find it in herself, then it wasn't there to be found, anywhere.

That was probably why they were all so worried about her. Thought she was unfeeling, uncaring. That she didn't, couldn't, have any "healthy" relationships. Sure she had lots of friends; few of them were very good friends, though, the kind that you talked to in classes and occasionally did things with, but not the kind that would be there for you no matter what. There were two people that took that role, her friend from high school that, being a year ahead of her, had graduated two years ago, and her best friend, who had also graduated a few years ago, and was now living in San Francisco. Besides the two of them, she didn't have anyone besides her family, and that wasn't always guaranteed.

It would all work out soon, only two more months then she'd be able to move out to sunny California and start the life that she wanted, that she deserved, that she was meant to have. She already had five interviews set up, thanks in larger part to the internships she'd had the past five summers in New York, and they gave her some good references and experience. The two things, besides talent, to get your foot in the door.

Just two more months and everything would be good.....Except she needed to get through the next two months first.



"Finally. Graduation day is here. I've been here for five years, and while I did come voluntarily, there have been quite a few times I've questioned my sanity around that decision. Having you here's made it all a lot easier though. I'll miss you while I'm out in Cali, try not to get too cold- crazy girl, stayin' in NY! I don't know what's wrong with you.

3Jez"

She'd been so used to not having any true friends that when Melanie transferred into her Psych class, Elizabeth had been really surprised with how close they became. Not really having any friends in the class, the seat next to Elizabeth was open. Mel had sat by her that day and asked at the end of class if they could get together to study for the test coming up the next week. Elizabeth had agreed, not seeing how it could be a bad thing.

And it had been a good thing having a friend there for her during the last couple of months. It didn't seem like anything could go right. A guy, Jeff she thought his name was, had accused her of cheating in her MBEI class. Although how she could cheat in that class, she wasn't exactly sure. Nevertheless it had gotten her put on probation for a month so the teachers and administrators could "keep an eye on" her. It shouldn't have bothered her, but it did, fear that she would be punished for something she didn't do crept up in her and refused to leave until the day the dean called her into her office and announced that they hadn't found any evidence of her cheating and the case would be dismissed

Elizabeth knew she shouldn't have let it get to her like that, but it was something threatening her future, her dreams. And she was so close that she didn't think she could take something tampering with her future now. Luckily she reverted back to her old attitude and worked ten times harder to prove to herself- and everyone else- that she deserved it. And now here she was, Graduation Day. The whole cheating thing had taken almost a month and a half to get resolved and then she was left with recovering her grades, which she had let slip in the beginning of the fiasco, before she recovered. Now she was done. She'd gotten through it all. She was going to graduate with the degree she wanted, and her masters, and she was set for her new life in California.



"I told you, I'm fine momma........Yes I'm still going out with Mark..........I don't know how much longer I'll go out with him, it's not like I have it all planned out...............No, you're not going to meet him, it's not that serious or anything.....All right I'll talk to you later....I love y'all too."

God, she wished that Melanie were here so she could vent to her. That was one of the main advantages of always having a friend within a five minute distance of you. And surprisingly she really had missed Melanie. Elizabeth had been in LA for three month and half months now, and she'd gotten what was possible her dream job, in the middle of July. It should have been her dream job, publicist for one of the hottest new band. Her life should be perfect; she had a boyfriend who loved her, the job she'd always dreamed of having, and a growing group of close friends. Her life should be perfect, but then why wasn't it?

She really wished that the answer weren't as simple, obvious, and apparent as it was. Mainly because she didn't want it to be the reason. That boyfriend she had, sure he loved her, but he didn't really love her. And she knew it too. He loved her the best way he knew how, but that wasn't very good. She knew she should probably break up with him, but this was back to her thing of needing someone there for her. She'd always had one person she could turn to, and even though she had good friends now, she didn't want them to see her as vulnerable and unsure of herself. Many of them were from work and she needed them to think of her as strong and capable, or she'd never get any where. So that's why she was still going out with Mark, for the routine, something that was comfortable and reliable. "That's what it is, he's reliable." She thought to herself. "Except that he's probably one of the least reliable people I know. He's got the routine thing down, but if I need him and it involves breaking that routine, well then, forget about it. Yeah, this is working really well, start out justifying going out with him only to give yourself more reasons he's nothing more than an ass that couldn't get a girlfriend otherwise. Real good, Elizabeth, real good."

She really needed to get to work now, if only Mark would bring her car back soon, he really needed to get his car fixed already. She'd been waiting for him, at his apartment mind you, for the last hour while he went to drop off some things at his friend's house. He'd told her the cat would be too full for her to go with, why had she let him use her car, now she was going to be late. Of course she could get a ride from William, he was going to be there for the meeting, but the two of them didn't really get along so well. Okay, that was a severe understatement; they were two steps away from hating each other. Technically, she didn't hate him, Mark did, and then he'd been mean to her because he hated Mark, and she'd been just as nice to him just for the fun of it. That had really helped when she'd gotten the job of being his publicist. Well not only his publicist, his band's publicist, but same deal. They tried their best to be civil to one another while at work, but outside of work? That was a whole different story. Nope. Asking William for a ride was not an option. Not unless Mark didn't get back in the next five minutes. Where the hell was he, he didn't have enough friends for one of them to live that far away. She almost felt sorry for the man, thinking that he was a decent, kind, lovable person, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. And she was only adding to his delusion by continuing to go out with him. She needed to-

Wait. Mark was finally back. Finally. Running to the door Elizabeth flung it open, surprising Mark who had been about to open it. Seeing the keys on his finger, she grabbed them and without a word raced toward the stairs.

"'Lizzy wait. I need to talk to you!"

"I can't." She shouted back "I've gotta get to work."

"Call you later?"

"Tomorrow. I've gotta work 'til real late." With that she disappeared into the stairwell, leaving a slightly angered and very annoyed boyfriend standing at his still open door.

"Why do you always have to make her work so late?" The question was directed at the man now coming out of his own apartment next door.

"You should know that the girl has her own will and only does what she wants whether or not we want her to." Even if it is better than what we wanted he silently added.

"Don't try to tell me that she wouldn't voluntarily work all night. I know you made her. You just don't want her to spend any time with me.....You're jealous." he replied accusingly.

"First off I don't give a damn about how much time she spends with you; I just wish you'd spend it somewhere else so I wouldn't have to see you. And second our meeting shouldn't go past like seven as long as Oz and Peter can both get there."

"What-"

"And I need to get there, now. So, as nice as it is talking to you, I'm gonna go now. Let's not do this again." He effectively cut Mark off. And with that he too disappeared into the stairwell.

Does no one use the elevator Mark wondered before more importantly, perhaps, why does she have to work for him? He could really never come home and my life would be so much better. As he finished his thought, walking into his apartment through the door that never closed, the phone began ringing.



6 P.M. that night

"Peter, why are you here? You gotta go home, you're really sick." Elizabeth affectionately told him. At his attempted protest, she became more firm, "If you don't go home now, you're gonna get us all sick and then we'll have problems. Now, I luv ya, but go home!"

"You need help with all this stuff and if I go home, it'll only be Oz and William to help. I...."

"Go Home!" The three in the room shouted at him at once.

"Fine, fine. I'll go home. Be nice to a sick man, would ya?"

"Bye Peter." Elizabeth called after him as he left her office.

They'd been sitting around the oval conference table in her office for an hour and a half after Peter had left when Oz began to check his watch every fifteen seconds.

"Something wrong Oz?'

"Nope, Iza. Nothing's wrong. And I won't leave, don't worry."

"Why are you gonna leave? And don't say you're not because if it's a good enough reason to check your watch every fifteen seconds, then it's probably good enough for you to leave early, so why don't ya let me have it?" "I..uh...I've kind of got.....I have a date....well, I'm supposed to, but......" he stammered

"What time?"

"Eight."

"Well then you should probably be going then, don't ya think? As long as William doesn't mind that is."

Why was she always putting him in this position, okay so maybe it was the first time, but still.... And how could he answer that question? If he said he didn't mind it'd sound like he wanted to spend time with her, which-well he didn't know if he did or not, no he did not want to, but if he said he did, then Oz wouldn't get to go and then that'd be fun.....what to do, what to do. "Oh yeah, I guess we can get it all done, I mean, you know, it should work, so yeah sure you can go on your date or whatever." That came out real smooth. He chided himself.

So that was it, Peter was already gone and now Oz was leaving. Now it'd only be she and William, for however many more hours seeing as their work was nowhere near done. What had she gotten herself into, she really didn't like spending time with him in a "group setting" and now they were going to have one on one time, all by her own doing? She really could be stupid sometimes. Elizabeth wondered how it was she had ever gotten into college, let alone graduated. Oh well, she'd have to make the best of it........Which would be so much easier if it were someone other than William.

"So...."What was wrong with her? So what if she didn't like him. They needed to finish going over these interview and rehearsal dates. She could be professional. Correction, she would be professional. Even if she didn't like him at all. "We should go over the rest of these dates and what y'all are going to need to do, so that nothing too unexpected comes up."

"You're from Chicago, right? He questioned, waiting for her confused nod before continuing. "Then why are you always saying "y'all"?"" Not that I mind it or anything he thought. As a matter of fact, he found it much cuter than he was willing to admit.

"It's just how I talk. Why?"

"Nothing. It's just........you've got the biggest southern accent I've ever heard from someone not from the South. Not that it's bad or anything. Just wondering. You know me, always wonderin'..." he trailed off, realizing he was impeccably close to sounding like an ass. If he hadn't already done just that.

"Alright."Elizabeth started somewhat uncomfortably, "On the 24, that's the day after Devon and Xander get back right?"

"Should be, yeah."

"Okay on the 24, you've got that interview with Teen People. It should mostly be about the tour and the album, you know what you think of it, expectations for the tour, all that stuff." She tried desperately to ignore the grin he'd gotten on his face at her last comment. "Then on the 26 there are a whole bunch of phone interviews set up here. Y'all need to be here absolutely no later than seven thirty that morning just like for you and Oz tomorrow. And knowing how y'all are about the morning I'll remind you the day before and I'll try to call you in the morning since I have to be here anyway.

He was trying so hard not to smile too much more at her. He couldn't help it, though. Every other publicist or manager they'd had, and they'd had more than their fair share, had been so overly serious, it drove him crazy. Elizabeth always had a sense of humor about things, but she also took it seriously-when she needed to. And her muttering of' "I don't know why everything needs to be so early. Who needs time zones anyway?" he couldn't help, but laugh.

"What's that Jez?" he tried, rather unsuccessfully to hold back his laughter.

"Nothing." She bit out, upset at him having heard her, "I just don't get why everyone giving the interviews is here in LA and everyone asking the questions has to be in New York, three hours ahead of us. It just doesn't make sense." God, she knew she shouldn't have given an explanation, just said "nothing" and left it at that. But, besides commenting to the media, she wasn't very good at keeping her opinion to herself. How haven't I gotten fired yet? I can't just shut up when I need to. Always need to say what I'm thinking.

"Don't worry. I've spent the last ten years trying to figure that one out. Of course the first few of those years they weren't exactly my interviews that were so early, more like the people that they actually wanted to interview. But you know..." Why could he not stop sounding like such an ass? He didn't even like the girl. Wasn't it just a few hours ago he was saying just that to her boyfriend, her boyfriend. Now that's someone he did hate. There wasn't a worse person in the world in his opinion, why was she going out with him then. She-

"William?" Her comment pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Hmm? Yeah."

"So for those interviews, right now, we've got People, US Weekly, Seventeen..........................."

The two continued to confirm dates for interviews, trips, tour rehearsals, show performances, and appearances for the next two hours, until they were interrupted by Elizabeth's office phone ringing.

"Jez, hey sweetie. You're gonna be home soon right. Cause there's something I need to tell you. Tonight."

"Actually, we've still got a while longer. Could you just tell me now?"

"No!...I mean no. I'd rather tell you in person. And why aren't you done yet? There's four of you there. Ya should be done by now." "Mark, calm down, if you don't want to tell me on the phone, wait til tomorrow, it's no big deal. And, um, there aren't four of us here-"

"What do you mean there aren't four of you there? Who is there?" he questioned somewhat angrily.

"Everybody was here, but I made Peter go home because he's got the flu."

"So William and Oz are there?"

"No, Oz left at about eight-"

"Why'd he leave? He couldn't have the flu too."

"He left at eight because he had a date, so William and I are finishing things up. And I really gotta get back to it. I'll call ya tomorrow and you can tell me whatever it was you want to tell me." She said with feeling, not at all unforced, not all forced either, though.

"Never mind. I'll just tell you now. I have to go to Dallas tomorrow morning at four. I should be, back Saturday around five. I'll call you tomorrow when I get there. Then we can-"

"I don't think that'll work so well. The guys are starting a bunch of phone interviews at seven thirty tomorrow morning and I'll have to be here before that so I won't really have any time to talk. Sorry." She said with sympathy, "Maybe tomorrow afternoon or something?"

"Nah, I've got meetings then."

"I'll talk to you when you get back then?"

"Yeah, sure. Bye Elizabeth. I love you. I'll miss you"

"Bye Mark, I'll see ya when you get back." She concluded before hanging up the phone.

He hadn't meant to overhear any of their conversation, but he had. Mark had told Jez that he loved her and he'd miss her, but she'd returned neither sentiment. And why did that make him feel slightly better. He didn't care about their relationship. Except maybe hoping something would break Mark's heart and he'd move and stop tormenting him with his presence every day. That was always a possibility. But of course he didn't care whether or not she told him she loved him. It made no difference to him whether she told him to never call her again or asked him to marry her. She could have stood there and said "Yes Mark I'll marry you." And it wouldn't have mattered a lick to him. He didn't even like the girl that much. Okay, so he didn't hate her like he'd been pretending to. He only hated Mark, so ergo he hated her by association. But she was good at her job. Better than anyone else that'd ever worked for them. See none of it mattered to him.

Then why was it bothering him so much?