Here is Chapter 2. A lot of Raven in this one, I hope you like it! Please Read and Review! More than just two...please?
Morning never came to the city. The overcast sky had only become thicker as night became day. A storm was coming, people could smell it in the air. In the city power had returned. Though a single plant had gone offline, others went into overdrive, and repairs were being made on the damaged generators. Repairs of another type were being made elsewhere in the city; Titan's Tower.
The Titans had spent most of the morning sleeping. Though they were not out too late, none of them could fall to sleep. Starfire could not stop crying and had spent the night being comforted by Robin. Cyborg turned off his systems, allowing himself to recharge as his mind stayed awake, wandering off into memories of his best friend.
Then there was Raven. She just sat in her room with the lights off. Though this wasn't unusual, she could not keep focused on her meditations. Instead, a certain green boy kept returning, his sad and angry face forever burned into her mind. She didn't know what was coming over her. Beast Boy had been her friend, a close friend. She had let him come closer than anyone, even Starfire, who she considered her best friend. The question of why persisted in her mind until sleep won over, just as it won over all the Titans.
As soon as they woke, they headed off back into the city to search for Beast Boy, spending the whole day searching. They combed the city, splitting up and hitting his various hang outs. Nothing turned up. As hard as they searched, no one had seen their green skinned friend, neither human nor animal forms. As what little light managed to make it through the thick filter of clouds began to fade, the Titans knew that the search would have to stop for now. They could continue tomorrow but all the Titans began to fear, deep down inside, that they would not see their friend again, no one more than Raven.
The Titans were too tired to cook, too stressed to eat. Once again, they all retired to their rooms. Raven tried to meditate but once again her mind was flooded with thoughts of Beast Boy. Tonight, she did not fight it. She knew she had to figure out her feelings for the boy. Why had she responded the way she did, and why had she been so worried about him? None of it made sense to her, she had to think about all of this…but where to start?
Let's start at the beginning, thought Raven, when I first met him. It must have been about two years ago, almost to the day, perhaps to the day. We found Garfield and saved him. I remember that the clearest, especially him not knowing I was a girl. I really don't care that much, I don't think of myself as all that feminine like Star, but it still hurt. Raven turned to herself in the mirror and opened her cloak for a moment. She hated her body, her hips were too big, bigger than Starfire's at least. Her waist seemed too thin to her compared to her hips and breasts, which seemed about the same as Star's. Wait, why am I even thinking this? I need to get back on track! With that thought, Raven closed her cloak and sat back on her bed.
After we left him, Beast Boy showed up…like he didn't expect us to be suspicious at all. I suppose Cyborg didn't care, of course, neither did Starfire. Robin and I were different. We had to pry, we had to check. We did our homework, found old episodes of Space Trek 2022, saw Beast Boy being credited as Garfield Logan. But Robin and I agreed to respect Beast Boy's secret and we have been good about it. I felt confused though. I was drawn to Garfield. I saw him, a hood drawn over his head, Raven looked back at the mirror…a reflection of myself. I could sense his pain, his emotions fed me, gave me strength. She sighed with her whole body, then closed her eyes, focusing her senses on her thoughts.
I could always count on Beast Boy for giving me strength. The others really don't understand my powers. They think I can read minds, but I can't. I can sense emotions, which can be like reading minds. But the mind isn't an open book to be read. I feed off emotions to fuel my powers. That's why I can't be emotional, it would overload me. I wish I could tell them that. Star knows from first hand experience, but I don't think the others could understand unless they experienced it themselves. Raven opened her eyes again, her gaze falling upon her meditation mirror. She stood up and walked over to it, picking the mirror up and holding it against her.
A short time after Robin and I confirmed Beast Boy's secret, he and Cyborg took a little trip into my mind. I was mad but I don't blame them too much. Beast Boy has always been curious about me and had gone snooping in my room, only to be sucked into the mirror I use to contact my emotions and keep them under control. Cyborg had been an innocent bystander, only trying to get Beast Boy out. Knowing he was Garfield, I thought Beast Boy didn't like me. We had nothing in common…though that has changed, hasn't it? Raven shook her head, realizing she was distracting herself. I will come back to that, I need to finish this thought. Focus Raven…I learned that we were friends, though my Timid emotion still fears the worse with him. He saved me that day, from myself. I never forgot it.
Then there was that glint. That little shine I saw in his eyes when I suggested a second breakfast. I never saw him look at me like that…no one had ever looked at me like that before. I could sense his respect for me, but there was another emotion I didn't recognize. It only managed to come forward for a second. Had Cyborg not butted in, I may have been able to pin it down. She placed the mirror down and turned her back to it quickly. Oh well.
We became good friends after that, didn't we? He was still annoying but at least I knew he respected me and my desire to be alone a lot of the time. I did start coming out more often, sometimes just to see him. Raven's eyes almost popped out of her head when she realized what she had just thought! What am I saying? I couldn't care less if I see him, I just need his emotions, that's all. He is important to me in battle and nothing else. That's why I am worried…I need him so I can continue to win. Right? She looked at the mirror, as if expecting to see her reflection assure her she was right. But Raven knew she was lying to herself.
No, that's not it. There is something else here. An emotion that won't show itself. An emotion that is shy by nature…but what is it? What part of me won't come forward? Could it be…? A little glint flashed in the enchanted mirror. NO! It can't be that! I do not feel that way towards Beast Boy…or do I?
I remember his reaction to Terra. He fell in love with her immediately, and I hated her just as quickly. She was like Beast Boy, but lacked control of her powers. It was painfully obvious to all of us, I didn't quite get why she was so embarrassed. I was content again when she left. Then she returned…in full control. She was having such problems controlling her powers, then she shows up and is almost perfect. I just didn't get it. I STILL have problems with control and she was perfect. I hated her, always did. Her hands tightened around her sheets, pulling them tight. Beast Boy didn't pay attention to me anymore, only ever wanted to make HER laugh. I liked it when he tried…always failed but he tried. That's more than anyone else ever did for me. STOP! Don't think like that Raven. You know he doesn't think of you like that…he couldn't. Besides, when she betrayed us, Beast Boy looked so sad, like he could never love again.
I know what its like, thanks to Malchior. Even thinking his name…how I hate him…and myself. Her eyes welled up with tears but she blinked them back. Though I did learn more than I ever thought I could about magic, he still used me. Beast Boy had been right there, even snooped on me, giving the others little reports on us…but why? Was he jealous of Malchior? Maybe. If I was giving all my attention to him, how would Beast Boy ever get it? But Beast Boy had been there for me…he knew what it was like to be used, and was there for me.
The hug. She felt a feeling of warmth fill her body I still remember it vividly. I dream about it. Dream about what may have happened had Cyborg not interfered, what Beast Boy was about to say. He looked shocked and confused and he pushed away. No, Beast Boy does not care about me…but he may have just been surprised. I was surprised myself. I probably would have hugged anyone who was out there at that time…but it was Beast Boy and I was so happy about that. He reminded me that night that we were friends and he would always be there for me. So that is one thing we have in common now, a broken heart.
Then there is the other thing, the evil that resides inside us. For me, it is my rage, which manifests itself as my father. For Beast Boy, it is that beast within him. Though I really don't think its all that evil. It was Adonis who attacked me. Raven grabbed her shoulder, it still hurt from time to time. Beast Boy defended me, even sought out revenge for me. The others told me they thought that when we were in the hospital wing, Beast Boy was trying to kill me. But I saw the tapes. I watched how he was acting. It wasn't evil. It was…primal. He ran on pure instinct…to save me. He gave so much, nearly getting himself killed. We even had a nice moment, until he had to kill it with that "Beast Man" thing. He is such an idiot sometimes…A smile came to her lips, it was small but it was there. But then her smile faded back into her frown.
You know, Raven, it's thoughts like that that got you here in the first place. Because I had to say those things to poor Beast Boy, he is gone from me…I mean us. Raven swore to herself. Oh who am I kidding? Over the years, I have grown fond of him. He is a good friend…my best friend in many ways…I love him. But how? Raven's eyes returned to her mirror. As a good friend? Maybe. What makes love more than that? Attraction? If that's all, then there isn't a problem at all. Even though I am a little taller than Beast Boy, I have been attracted to him the entire time I have know him. He is arrogant but his arrogance is not completely without justification.
But true love means more than that…at least I would hope so. But what is it? What is the type of love I feel for him? Raven let out a long sigh and fell back onto her bed. I do love him. I can admit that, at least to myself. There is just something about that little changeling that does something to me. I HAVE to insult him, I HAVE to push him away. Now, because I didn't know how to act, he is gone. Probably hating me more and more. I wish I could find him. Perhaps if I knew for sure how he felt, I could figure out my feelings. Sometimes I hate him, other times I love him. Maybe he feels the same. I just don't know.
Actually, I don't know that much about him. She sat up again at this realization. He knows almost all my past by now, the nature of my powers, more than anyone else knows about me, and I know nothing about him. I know that he was an actor, that his parents stole his money and that Robin made sure they got what they deserved and his money was returned, with some extra thanks to Wayne Enterprises. I really screwed this up, I need to find out more. There must be some way for me to find him…something I over looked.
Raven looked up at the ceiling for a few minutes until she suddenly realized how she could find Beast Boy in seconds. She remembered when Robin was hallucinating that he was fighting Slade. While they were locked in the med lab, Raven extended her soul self, locking on to Robin's emotions and aura.
Why didn't I think of this before? It's so simple. With that, she sat in the lotus position, closer her eyes and began her chant, "Atherath…Metrion…Zinthos." With that, he soul self flew out into the city. It swooped through alleys and side streets. It kept searching. Soon, it stopped, turned and headed straight for a minute. It had locked on to Beast Boy. Slowly, it came to a stop and Raven gasped. It was Garfield…or at least it was Beast Boy with a hood on again. She was looking at Garfield though. So that's why no one had seen him… Because of the hood, no one would be able to see his green skin, no one would have recognized him. She just looked at him. He was cold, shivering a lot. He gave a quick sneeze and changed shape inside his clothes, only to return back just as quickly. She extended her soul self a little more. He was sick, and he was getting worse. If she didn't do something soon, he would get pneumonia, he would die.
No time to wake that others, she thought. Without any other hesitations, she retracted her soul self to her, then melted through the wall and into the night. She flew faster than ever, he eyes squinting against the wind. It would take her a few minutes to get there, she had to get him some cover and warmth. She knew he wouldn't come back to the tower. But he was Garfield now and he didn't know that she knew he's Garfield. This could be a good way to learn more about him, at least about why he is so sad, Raven thought. She would have to confront him about his identity sooner or later, but for now, she would just learn about him. But there was one thing clear to her now, as she raced to his rescue. She loved him, the question was "how so?"
There it was, I hope you enjoyed it! I may put up the next chapter tonight. Its written, I just need to finish making the edits. Please R&R!