CHAPTER 7
Meeting Arthur Weasley's Work-mates
At the "Weezly" campsite at the Quidditch World Cup. The excellent joke about Archie and the Muggle dress has passed already. Arthur Weasley is pointing out the people he knows from the Ministry to Harry and Hermione, because none of his own children really care.
ARTHUR: Yes, there goes Cuthbert Mockridge, Head of the Goblin Liaison Office…
HERMIONE: Fascinating!
ARTHUR: Quite!…And that was Arnold Peasegood, an Obliviator.
HARRY: Accidental Magic Reversal Squad?
ARTHUR: Yes, very good, Harry!…ah, and there's Gilbert Whimple.
HARRY: Er…how long has he had those horns?
HERMIONE: Harry, that's not very nice, to just bring it up like that…
ARTHUR: No, no, quite all right, he's had them quite a while…Gilbert's with the Committee on Experimental Charms. And it looks like he's coming over…(waves to Gilbert)
RON: Dad, no!
ARTHUR: Ron, for heaven's sake!
RON: But Dad, he's a total nutter!
HARRY: Why, what's the matter with him?
ARTHUR: There's nothing the matter with him. He's just a little…
FRED: Out of his tree?
GEORGE: Three hoops short of a Quidditch pitch?
ARTHUR: …Eccentric.
HERMIONE: Eccentric?
HARRY: Eccentric how?
RON: Eccentric as in he's the reigning king of barmy.
ARTHUR: Ron, keep your voice down, he's coming over here. He's not barmy, he's just got a bit of a speech impediment.
FRED: Dad, a lisp is a speech impediment…
GEORGE: …not speaking in anagrams.
HARRY: What? He speaks in…
RON: Anagrams, yeah. Total nutter, he is.
HARRY: I don't believe it. That's just…
RON: Well, see for yourself. Here he is.
Gilbert arrives at the group
GILBERT: Lelho, Ayeslew!
ARTHUR: Hello there, Gilbert. How are you?
GILBERT: Fipsfing, skanth.
Ron, Harry and the twins suppress snickers. Hermione is in awe of Whimple's verbal dexterity
ARTHUR: These are three of my children, Gilbert-Ron, Fred, and George.
GILBERT: Lelho, Nor, Ferd, Reggeo.
ARTHUR: And this is Hermione Granger…
GILBERT: Revy ecin ot etem you, Sims Ergnrag.
HERMIONE: Er…likewise, Mr. Whimple.
RON: (whispers) Yeah, spiffing to meet you, Miss Ergnrag.
HERMIONE: (whispers) Stop it, Ron!
ARTHUR: This is Harry Potter, Gilbert.
GILBERT: My! Eth Rahry Terpot?
HARRY: Uh…yeah. That's me, all right.
RON: (whispers) "Rahry Terpot…" (snickers)
HARRY: (whispers) Oh, don't be such a kerb, Nor.
FRED: (whispers) Oy, Reggeo, aren't you going to stick up for our baby brother?
GEORGE: (whispers) You mean our "yabba throber," Ferd.
They laugh
GILBERT: Ah…Thaw's nunfy?
FRED: Nothing, sir. Nothing nunfy at all…
ARTHUR: Fred! Sorry about that, Gilbert.
GILBERT: It's othning, it's othning.
GEORGE: See, Dad? It's othning, so othning to worry tabou.
ARTHUR: George! Why don't you and Fred go…somewhere else, for a moment?
FRED: Sure. Come along, Reggeo.
GEORGE: Right-o, Ferd. Nice to see you, Mr. Phimlew!
Ferd and Reggeo…er, Fred and George leave
ARTHUR: I'm very sorry about those two, Gilbert. I'm sure they didn't mean anything.
GILBERT: Learly, it's othning. I'll mee you at the satch!
HERMIONE: Um, Mr. Whimple?
GILBERT: Yes, Giss Manger?
HERMIONE: Well, I just noticed…you're not speaking in anagrams anymore.
GILBERT: What?
RON: (whispering) Hermione, don't…
HARRY: (whispering) Just leave it alone…
HERMIONE: Well, those last two things you said; those were spoonerisms, not anagrams.
Pause
HERMIONE: (sheepish) Just saying.
GILBERT: Well, if you're going to split hairs, I'm going to piss off!
Gilbert storms away
HERMIONE: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend him, honest!
RON: Well, if you didn't have to be such a wonk-ti-lal all the time…
ARTHUR: That's enough, Nor! I mean, Ron! Listen, let's head down to the pitch, shall we?
RON: Sure, Dad. Coming, Rahry?
HARRY: Yeah, Nor.
They exit