CHAPTER 31
The Third Task
Harry has just entered the hedge maze. He meets the Blast-Ended Skrewt.
HARRY: Stupefy!
The spell rebounds.
HARRY: Stupefy! Stupefy! IMPEDIMENTA!
The Skrewt freezes, and Harry runs down another path. He doesn't know what to expect. Then suddenly, guarding a junction…
HARRY: The Black Knight?
The Knight just stares at him, leaning on his sword.
HARRY: Um, could I get past you please?
KNIGHT: Who DARES challenge the BLACK KNIGHT!
HARRY: I'm not challenging you.
Silence. The Knight continues to stare at Harry.
HARRY: What do I have to do?
The Knight stares.
HARRY: Do we…duel, or something? I haven't got a sword, and you haven't got a wand…so…
The Knight stares.
HARRY: You make me sad. But never mind.
Harry turns to take a different path, but the Knight blocks him.
KNIGHT: None shall pass.
HARRY: But…I'm trying to go in the opposite direction.
KNIGHT: None shall pass.
HARRY: I'm not trying to pass you! (pause) Oh, well…I am now, I guess. (raises his wand) I need to past you, come on!
KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
HARRY: How are we going to duel? I'll just blast you with a spell before you can draw your sword.
KNIGHT: Will your spells penetrate my armor?
HARRY: Er…
KNIGHT: Stand and fight!
The Black Knight tosses Harry a sword…from somewhere…
HARRY: Well, thanks…I guess.
KNIGHT: Have at you!
Harry pockets his wand and picks up the sword. The duel lasts for ten seconds before Harry delivers a blow that chops the Knight's left arm off at the shoulder.
HARRY: Sorry about that…Now stand aside!
KNIGHT: (glancing at his bloody shoulder) 'Tis but a scratch!
HARRY: A scratch? Your arm's off!
KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
HARRY: (points to arm on the ground) Well, what's that then?
KNIGHT: I've had worse.
HARRY: Are you insane?
KNIGHT: Come on, you pansy!
HARRY: Fine!
They have another ten second duel, before Harry chops the Knight's sword-arm off.
HARRY: There, I think I win. But…Sorry I chopped your arms off.
Harry starts to walk away, but the Knight hops to block his path again
HARRY: What are you doing? I won!
KNIGHT: Come on then!
Knight kicks Harry in the leg
HARRY: Ow! What was that for?
KNIGHT: Had enough, then? Come on, come on!
HARRY: You stupid…You don't have any arms left!
KNIGHT: Yes I have.
HARRY: What! Look!
KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound!
Kicks Harry again
HARRY: Ow! Knock it off! I don't have time for this!
KNIGHT: (still kicking) Had enough yet? Ready to surrender?
HARRY: No! Ouch! Stop that! I'll cut your leg off!
Harry is kicked
HARRY: Right.
Harry chops off one of the Knight's legs. Now the Knight is hopping around on one leg, bleeding profusely.
KNIGHT: Oh, I'll have you for that!
HARRY: (astounded) You'll what!
KNIGHT: Come here!
HARRY: What are you going to do? Bleed on me?
KNIGHT: I'm INVINCIBLE!
HARRY: You're a nutter, is what you are!
KNIGHT: The Black Knight ALWAYS triumphs!
HARRY: Please don't make me…
KNIGHT: Have AT you!
HARRY: Okay, fine.
Harry chops the Knight's other leg off. Now the Black Knight is just a torso propped up on the ground.
HARRY: Urgh. Sorry…Wow, that's incredibly disgusting…
KNIGHT: Fine, we'll call it a draw.
HARRY: Sure, fine. Whatever.
Harry drops the sword near the Knight, and takes out his wand again. He moves down the path, with the Knight screaming after him:
KNIGHT: Running away eh? Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!