Disclaimer: I just used it to tell a story, so don't make me pay!
Chapter 5 – Stuck in a moment
Out of breath, Jess arrived at the diner for work. Mr Wilson saw automatically that there was something wrong: his eyes were red, his hair looked like it had to endure a tornado. Wisely he decided not to make a comment immediately. He knew his boy and besides, it was busy at this hour. Hard work would probably do him good. If things slowed down, he probably would tell him anyway.
A couple of hours later, his intuition proved him right. Apart from two people the diner was deserted and Jess was really convincingly pretending that he was cleaning invisible spots. He looked a couple of times in the direction of Mr Jones who pretended not to be doing anything in particular. About ten minutes later Jess went to his third father.
'Did you ever get a letter from someone about something that happened a long time ago but is still like an issue for that person?'
'Who's the girl?' Jess was surprised by this answer. Mr Wilson saw it and said: 'don't look so surprised boy. When you're as old as me, and I'm pretty old, than you get to know these kind of things.'
'She's a girl from back… ' Jess hesitated. He almost said 'back home'. Stars Hollow his home? Yeah right! '… a girl from back in Connecticut.'
'I never received such a letter son, but I think it is important that you spend enough attention to it. It must have been some time ago, if she's still dealing with it.. it can't be healthy. What exactly was in that letter?'
Jess didn't answer right away. This question made him feel awkward. It was weird to talk about it with someone. He had never talked about it with someone, except himself. Of course, Mr Wilson wasn't like Sasha, who would ask him because she wanted to know every little detail. No, he asked because he wanted to help him. He took a deep breath and forced himself to over win his awkwardness. 'It was a letter from right after the … eh …incident. It has a lot of questions in it… should I answer them?'
'Do you want to answer them?'
'It's painful for me too you know! But she deserves the answers…'
'Look, you should do what your heart tells you to do. Just keep your history in mind and try not too reply too emotionally. Than both parties will just or get angry or get hurt. I think that can not be the point, right?'
Jess knew he was right. Still he was doubting… she did deserve it, and he really wanted to. She could count on him now, you see? But was he up for the challenge? Was he ready to admit his mistakes to her? Not unusually it was music that brought the answer to his problem. This time was U2 his savior.
I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company
I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
He realised that he had to help Rory to move on. She was stuck and he was the only one that could pull her out, that could give an answer to her questions. It was closing time. He decided that he would write her a letter, to explain it all.
Later that night, he was very rarely alone in his room – Lily went out and play or sleep over or whatever – which put him in the perfect position to write this letter. A letter that could very well mean the end of everything, a letter that closed doors. He put on his favourite music, took the brand new, especially for the occasion bought writing paper out of the plastic bag, took a pen, sat down, stretched his arms, neck, fingers, took a deep breath and started writing.
Many hours later, the house was already in silence, his cd was long ended, he reread his letter to the girl who haunted his dreams. It had been hard to put his thoughts in words, to see what he did standing there black on white. But he was glad he did do it, he felt better too, like a heave weight that fell off his shoulders. It was a good letter he thought. Calm, reasonable, neutral, just an explanation, really…
Suddenly he felt terribly tired. No wonder, he hadn't slept in over forty hours. He turned off the light and fell down in his bed, where he immediately left for dream land. After some ten hour sleep he woke up clear headed. He must have been so tired and slept so deep that he felt a bit like a new born. Immediately in his brain formed the words of that other muse song, a cover really, but fantastically performed: 'it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life… and I'm feeling good.' He actually was feeling good, so good he almost sang. He didn't really know why, sleep can do that to a person, right?
He got out of bed eventually and than he saw the letter. His euphoric mood dropped somewhat. He didn't want to see it anymore. He started looking for an envelop, managed to find one, put the letter in it… and realised he didn't have her address. He knew where she lived but he never knew the street or number. Never came up to ask. He stood there, in the middle of his room, with the envelop in his hands and he staring at it. He could only think of one thing to do: call Luke. He didn't really feel like it. He liked Luke, a bit too caring maybe, but he had always been good to him. But if he asked him this, he would know. Jess didn't anyone to know about this, especially not Luke. Okay, Mr Wilson knew, but that was not the same thing since Mr Wilson lived here and didn't see the blue-eyed object of his affection nearly daily. He would talk him out of it, he would make all sorts of comments. Jess really didn't feel like it.
But he had to send the letter – that was too important. So he made a decision, he would call Luke. After a quick breakfast he went to his regular phone cell and dialed the number of his uncle.
'Hello, Lorelai Gilmore, lady of the house speaking. May I help you please?'
That was certainly something Jess didn't expect. What was Lorelai doing there? Was it a complot or something?
'Lorelai? It's Jess'
A silence fell… Lorelai was pretty blown away with this. Jess… couldn't that punk stay away like forever or something, or live on Mars? He had always been a bit too alien for this world.
'Lorelai? Can I speak with Uncle Luke please?'
Lorelai found her voice and said :' yeah, sure, sorry… it's just.. anyway, … Luke, it's for you!'
she handed over the phone to a freshly showered and shaved Luke. 'yeah?'
'Luke? It's Jess'
'Oh hi, Jess… everything Ok?'
'Ow, eh, yeah I'm fine. Eh... listen I need to ask you a favor.'
'Are you in trouble? Do you need money? You're not in jail are you?'
'Jeez, no! none of it. Thanks for having qo much faith in me.' Jess said angrily.
'Jess… ' Luke sighed. 'I'm sorry, ok? Old habit… so, what do you need?'
'Can you speak freely?'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean what I say … jeez, you're not dement or something are you? Is Lorelai still there?'
Luke thought he knew where this was going, so he decided to give neutral answers. 'Uhu, yes'
'Ow, eh, I need to know something about Rory….'
'Yeah, eh, can I call you back? I really need to go.'
Understanding that his uncle didn't want Lorelai to know what this was all about, he answered: sure uncle Luke. You know the number right. Today I'll be mostly at home. Tomorrow I work from 8 am till 4 pm. After that I'm probably at home as well. Thanks for doing this. Bye'
'Bye'
Luckily, Jess didn't have to wait too long. That night Luke called back. He gave Jess the address of Rory's dorm which was smart, because he would have sent it to her home, where Lorelai is and curious as she is he wasn't very certain the letter secret wouldn't be violated. They talked a little, about the diner and about Lorelai. Jess was surprised to hear that they were dating since the wedding. Although, he thought afterwards, I should've seen it coming. 'It was nice to talk to Luke', Jess thought, right before he fell asleep. 'Maybe I should call him more often'.
-
Note: a lot of songs in this chapter:
U2 – Stuck in a moment (you can't get out of)
Danny Tenaglia – Music is the answer
Lenny Kravitz – Stillness of heart
Semisonic – Closing time
Muse – New Born, Feeling good