Apology
They had been fighting again.
Like many times before, it all started because Inuyasha was getting tired of Kagome's omnipresent demon suitor always dropping by (and he was growing a little insecure as well, but he'd never admit it). Kagome tried to reassure him that nothing was going on, but he just wouldn't drop it. He couldn't seem to help himself. The idea of that disgusting demon touching Kagome just sent him through the roof. And the fact that she always seemed to appreciate Kouga's presence...well, that was just too much for the half-demon to keep bottled up inside. First he was just making snide comments about her flirting with the wolf demon, but then his voice grew in volume, and his tone turned to one of accusation. He knew what he was saying wasn't the truth, but he said it anyway, yelling at Kagome about her BOYfriend and how he was gonna kill him the next time he saw him. Sango yelled at him to stop and to think about the fact that he was two-timing Kagome with Kikyo and that he had no right to make such assinine demands of Kagome when she hadn't done anything wrong. This only made him bristle with frustration and anger and he turned his back to everyone.
He kept ranting, completely oblivious to the world around him, until he realized Kagome wasn't responding, and when he turned around, there was no Kagome. There was just the remainder of his traveling companions, and all four of them were rolling their eyes at him (even Kirara). Shippo asked how he could be so stupid. He looked past their glares and saw Kagome walking over a hill.
He wasn't gonna let her get away that easily. He was gonna continue to give her a piece of his mind...that is, until he caught the whiff of salt in the air.
Aw, jesus christ. He'd done it again. It wasn't enough that she promised to stay by his side and only made the request that he trust her. He had to go and make her cry because he was throwing a fit about another guy. He had to make her defend herself. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to be doing that for her? God, he felt like a complete ass.
Of course, he couldn't go to her while he was under the close scrutiny of the others. He glared back at his companions and turned to go off in the opposite direction of Kagome. When he was out of their sight, he'd swing back and make his way to her unbeknownst to them.
Damn his pride. He should have just gone to her, but instead he was taking a major detour. Still, he couldn't just go straight to her with everybody watching. It would just be...weird. He couldn't deal with it.
He finally made his way towards the meadow that Kagome was crouching in. He saw her and it made his heart sink: she looked just like Kikyo. One would think it would be a good thing, but for him, it was almost too much to bear. He hated that sorrowful expression on Kikyo, and he hated it even more when Kagome had the same look on her face. It was almost acceptable for the dead miko to always look so forelorned, but Kagome, well...she was always so full of life. She had so much...spunk. For her to look this sad...he must have really done it.
He walked up behind her and sat down by her side. "Kagome...I" He didn't know where to start. He didn't know what to tell her. He hated the situation he was in. He had no right to say who could be around Kagome, but his jealousy just would not permit him to stand idly by while that filthy wolf demon was practically slobbering all over her. He wished he could throw an arm casually around Kagome and tell Kouga to get lost, but he couldn't. He just couldn't, and it was because of Kikyo.
Well, it was, and it wasn't. Part of the reason why he couldn't let himself be comfortable having feelings for Kagome was guilt. Even though Naraku spurred the betrayal, he himself was to blame for terrorizing the village all those years ago. He didn't give Kikyo any reason to believe that it hadn't been him who betrayed her. He hadn't believed in her, and because of this, he was supposed to have died. He was supposed to be dead right now, but for some reason, he wasn't. He was alive, and he was with Kagome, and he felt good being with her.
And that was the real problem. He didn't deserve a second chance. Kikyo didn't get a second chance. He was supposed to have died when she pinned him to that tree, and he had no business having fun and feeling good with Kagome. He owed it to Kikyo to die with her.
And on top of all that, what had been fifty years to everyone else seemed like only a few months to him. It was so difficult seeing Kikyo after knowing all that had happened. All his emotions got twisted around and he couldn't figure out what he was feeling. And above all, Kagome had the habit of witnessing these moments of weakness, and it tore at his heart that he was so wishy washy when it came to the two girls in his life.
And, as if all that weren't enough, he felt indebted to Kagome as well. If she thought the 'sit' rosary was all she had on him, she was a complete fool. Inuyasha...feared...that one day Kagome would get tired of his indecision between the two girls, and she would simply make the choice for him. He knew she could call back her soul, and probably at any time she wanted to, as well. The weird thing about it, though, was that she didn't. She knew it would break his heart if Kikyo wasn't around, so she withstood the pain of betrayal so that he could be happy. He was a complete ass. IT WAS TRUE! HE WAS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL ASS!
If he was all demon, he wouldn't have to deal with this...with these stupid human emotions.
Suddenly, he felt a light pressure on his claws and looked down to see Kagome's hand on top of his. She wasn't crying anymore, but she looked so sad he almost turned away. Almost.
"I don't want to fight anymore." The simplicity of the statement almost made him fall over. He was completely bewildered, but she must have ignored it, because she slowly leaned her head against his shoulder in a slightly awkward quasi-embrace. He took in a sharp breath, not expecting the closeness. In all honesty, he wouldn't have blamed her if she had decided to 'sit' him 20 times in a row.
"K-Kagome..." He stammered her name out again. It seemed to be the only thing he could say.
She took a deep breath before stating calmly, "I want to be by your side. That's why I'm here." Here she was reassuring him, and he was the one who had started everything. He was feeling extreme guilt now...enough guilt to get him to actually apologize.
"Kagome, I'm sorry." Finally, he managed a complete statement.
"It's ok. I understand." How could she just forgive him? She never gloated, and she seemed to have endless amounts of compassion for him. He felt stronger, but at the same time, completely horrible. He didn't know what he had ever done to deserve her understanding. But she did understand him. She was caught between two worlds, too, and sometimes he got the feeling she wasn't entirely sure where she belonged, either.
She understood him, and she asked nothing of him, and she was weak and couragious at the same time, and sometimes he thought she was more brave than even he was.
He rested his head against hers and they stayed like that until, oh, let's say...Miroku ruined the moment.