If You Only Knew - A Story Of Myself.

I see you, many times, out there talking to me. You comfort me when I am sad and you share jokes with me. I thank you for all of that but can't you see? I am in love with you. You just don't know. No one knows.I didn't say it out so here I am expressing myself in this corner. If I just said out my story, I know you will know who you are. I want to say it out but I am afraid of being rejected. I am too young, some may say. I know too, I am still young but I understnd more than a normal 12 year old does. I want to make this story short and clear. I just want you to know how I feel. I don't know how to express it to you. I don't know why. Everytime I see you smile at me, I'd stare at the floor and start blushing.

- I stand here, watching you.
But you never notice me.
I always wanted to be your 'girl'
But I know I will never be. -

Everytime I look at you, you will be laughing along with the others. Everytime I see you looking at someone else. I wished that, that someone was me. I thought you are the one for me but I know I won't be the one for you. Don't you know what Iam I usually up to? Everytime I see you, I start acting crazy, I mess up my words and start talking crap. That's why I call myself a crap-talker. But you say I am the best story teller. I don't think I am the best There are others who are better than me. Any everytime I have my lunch, I hope that you will be here to have it with me.

- I sit here during lunch,
Watching you again.
I really hope you would look this way,
At me. -

So you see, how crazy I can be. I look at you but you'll never look at me. You know how much I hate people pinching me but yet you still pinch me. I am not a poring. Stop pinching me. You don't know how it feels like hiding your love for someone who you know will never love you. So everytime I look out of my window, I stare into the sky. Thinking of you so many times. Even at school, I think and daydream of you and end up getting scolding from my teachers in school,. Don't you know?

- I daydream and stare
At the back of your head.
I dream what would happen,
If you were to love me the most. -

I hoped that for once you would embrace me in your arms and let me cry all I want for once. No one will ever let me do that and if anyone would let me do that, I hope it would be you. But I don't think you will even hug me for once. All you do is pinch me. As I said, I am not a poring and I dont want to be one unless you want me to. If there was a guild meeting in real life and we would all go to the club, I wonder if you would even dance with me, but I know that will never happen. As I know it will always be.

- How would it be like,
If it was me in your arms.
How would I feel like
If it was my you danced with-

But all I know all these things I dream and hope will never come true cause you are so far away from me. You are older than me by so much and yet I still am in love with you. You are in a different country as me. My body is longing to hold you, so bad, it hurts inside. Time is precious and it's slipping away. And I've been waiting for you all my life. Nobody wants to be lonely. So why, why don't you let me love you?

- I can only dream,
Of the happenings.
The maybe's and what not's
Only dream. -

It's hard to imagine things come and go so fast. There are many things that will happen and it happens only once, but why must all of them happen in one day? I don't know what you think of m. I tried to do a lot of things for you. I tried, but I usually fail. Live is unpredictable. You will never know what is going to happen next. A second later, I might be dead. You will never know. How I came to be, this way. So here I am in my room with my doors and windows all locked up, my curtains are closed and I am am hearing loud music while writing this story to you. Only you. If you ever knew, if you even knew. I love you. But I am just too young for you. It's funny, isn't it? Things like these can happen, after all this times, I know you for more than 6 months, I love you for more than 4 months, you just don't know. I am afraid to tell you. I am afraid of being rejected. And after all of this, I learnt something that will go with me down the road of present, and my future.

- So don't tell me that it's over.
Don't give up on you and me.
'Coz there's no such thing as hopeless,
If you believe:
Unsinkable ships sink.
Unbreakable walls break.
Somethings the things you think could never happen,
Happens just like that.
Unbendable steel bends.
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable,
I've learnt to necer underestimate,
The impossible. -

And so my story ends here. I hope you know who you are. I hope you will not reject me. I just want you to know, I will always love you, even if you were to reject me.