Elizabeth had been dozing on and off for about an hour before Dr. Beckett finally came to tell her that she could see Rodney.
Dr. Zelenka had just dropped by to see how he was doing, so Elizabeth had offered to let him go in and see Rodney first. Zelenka had graciously declined, saying that he would instead go off and spread the word across the city that Rodney was still hanging in there. So, after taking a deep breath in a feeble attempt at pulling herself together, Elizabeth walked tentatively into Rodney's infirmary room.
Beckett had set him up in a room of his own, as he didn't want Rodney subjected to the human traffic that traipsed through the infirmary all day and night, so Elizabeth was alone with him as soon as she stepped through the door. This was probably a good thing, as any pretense of her supposed 'detachment' crumbled the instant she saw him.
He was a mess. He was mostly covered in a white sheet, but every inch of him that she could see was black and blue. Even through the sheet, she could tell that he'd lost a lot of weight, and he was hooked up to so many machines that he seemed less alive than they were. He wasn't even breathing on his own.
God, what had they done to him?
Even though the shock of the sight made her want to turn and run, she somehow forced herself forward until she was standing beside his bed. Being that close to him was even worse than standing over by the door, she realized. Still, she made herself sit down in the chair that someone had provided. She'd been hoping for the opportunity to do this for two long weeks, so she wasn't going to back out of it now.
He was home. He may not be in the best shape at the moment, but he was still alive. That was enough to be thankful for. He would heal in time.
Funny how that thought didn't make seeing him this way any easier to bear.
Elizabeth sighed and reached out for Rodney's hand. There were wires attached to it, but she didn't care. The only thing that bothered her was how limp and lifeless it was. Rodney's hands had never stopped moving in all the time she'd known him. Then again, neither had his mouth. She couldn't believe how different he looked when he was just lying there silent and still. It was as though he wasn't really Rodney at all - just a wax replica, an empty shell.
Maybe it would help her get through if she kept on telling herself that.
Still, the longer she sat there listening to the sound of the respirator, the more she felt like taking Rodney by the shoulders and shaking him until he woke the hell up. She didn't know what to do - should she be talking to him? She'd heard that sometimes people could hear what was said around them even when they're in a coma. Then again, Rodney wasn't in a coma. He was just unconscious. Maybe she should talk to him anyway?
Maybe she shouldn't even be there in the first place.
What was she doing there, after all? Being a friend? If that were really her motivation, then wouldn't his other friends feel just as anxious to spend time with him right now? Or was she being a concerned leader? No, that was just laughable.
The truth was, she had somehow allowed her emotions to take control where Rodney was concerned, and she was beginning to hate herself for it.
After sitting there holding his hand for about an hour, Elizabeth finally decided that there was no point in staying any longer. People would just start to talk if she sat there all day and night. She had to get back to work.
With a reluctant sigh, she dragged herself onto her feet and glanced over at the door to make sure no one was watching. The coast was clear, so she laid a gentle hand on Rodney's head and leaned down to kiss his temple. "Get well soon, Rodney," she whispered. "We need you here."
She gave his hand a slight squeeze before she released it and walked out of the room.
"Ah, there you are, Dr. Weir," Dr. Beckett greeted her. "I was just about to come and see how he's doing. Is he alright?"
"I haven't noticed any changes," she said. "I figured everyone else would want a turn sitting with him, so..."
"Yes, yes, of course. I'll just pop in there for a minute, but you can send someone else through to visit."
Elizabeth nodded and went through to the waiting area. To her surprise, the first face she saw was Major Sheppard's. "John? I didn't know you'd returned," she said.
"Yeah, I told Grodin not to call you when I got back," he explained. "I didn't want to disturb you. How's Rodney?"
"He's doing okay," she said, hoping more than believing that it was true. "How did it go?"
"Better than I was expecting," he said. "You would not believe what happened." He seemed almost excited as he spoke, and the light that had been absent from his eyes for the past two weeks was finally there again.
"What?" Elizabeth asked.
"The Marinans beat us there. They must have sent people to Decaria soon after we left with Rodney. By the time we got there, the people were rioting, both Marinans and Decarians. They all wanted to know the truth, and the Decarian officials were doing everything they could to stop it from coming out."
"Mackush?"
"Yeah, he was there. He was trying to settle the crowd, but they were fast becoming a lynch mob. Whatever I might have said about the Decarians, I take it back. The average Joe on the street didn't know a thing about what happened, only Mackush's lackeys did. When all the Average Joes found out they'd been lied to, they were out for blood. It didn't take long before Mackush's opposition stepped in and had him arrested. His name is Nallus. Nice guy. We might actually be able to negotiate with him once everything settles down."
"So... Mackush has been dealt with, just like that?" Elizabeth said in disbelief. "That's... that's great!"
"Yeah, saved me the trouble of beating the crap out of him, though I was kinda looking forward to it," John said with a slight smile. "The Marinans took him back with them. Something tells me they'll take real good care of him."
"And... Kolya?" Elizabeth asked, though part of her was afraid to hear the answer.
John shook his head. "I asked one of the Marinans about him. Turns out, they had no proof that he had a hand in setting Rodney up, so therefore they couldn't really peg any kind of crime on him. He was operating within Marinan law in his treatment of Rodney. All he did was ask a favour of the Marinan governor, that he'd be allowed to interrogate one of the prisoners."
Elizabeth felt her face drain of all colour. "You mean... they let him go?"
"'Fraid so."
Elizabeth wasn't sure what to think or feel about that. She knew they were in no more danger from Kolya than they were before this incident, but just knowing what he'd done to Rodney without even batting an eye...
There was no way she could ever allow Atlantis to join this confederation while the Genii were still part of it.
"Elizabeth?"
She snapped back to the present when she heard John's concerned voice, suddenly realizing she'd been off in her own little world for a few moments. "Yes?"
He paused, and then said quietly, "I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault," she assured him. "The Marinans..."
"I mean about... all of it," he said, shuffling his feet and stuffing his hands deep inside his pockets. "First losing Rodney like that, and... my attitude... I know I gave you a hard time, and I was way out of line."
Elizabeth nodded in understanding. "Apology accepted," she said. "I'm sorry, too, for being... overly cautious."
"Apology accepted," he said. He took one hand out of his pocket and gestured towards the door of Rodney's room. "Can we see him?"
"Yes, by all means," she said, standing back for him to walk past her. "If he wakes up, please let me know."
"Of course."
Elizabeth smiled as John walked off into Rodney's room. Even though Rodney was still not out of the woods, it was nice to have cleared that bit of tension from the air.
Now to get everything else back to normal.
Rodney felt as though he'd been underwater for days and was finally rising to the surface for air. He was vaguely aware of voices somewhere close by, but he couldn't quite make out who was talking or what they were saying. Still, something told him they were friendly voices, not the harsh, hateful voices he'd heard in his nightmares. Were they nightmares? He couldn't quite remember...
"Doc, it's been a week. Can't you give him something that'll wake him up?"
"Like what, Major? This isn't Star Trek, you know. I can't just stick him with a hypospray and he's all better. His body needs to heal."
"He is healing. When's he gonna wake up?"
"Do I have to have you removed from my infirmary, Major?"
"Major."
The voices stopped as soon as Rodney muttered that one word. He didn't know why he'd done it. He didn't even know how he'd done it, since his mouth felt as dry as paper and his entire body hurt like hell. It had just slipped out somehow.
"Rodney?" someone said. "You awake?"
Even through the fog that was his mind, Rodney could tell that was a stupid question. He cracked one eye open, and after blinking for a moment in the sudden light, he looked up to see a familiar face looming over him. "Ma... Sheppard," he said, or at least tried to say. His tongue didn't seem to be working very well.
Major Sheppard grinned down at him. "Hey! It's about time you woke up. You've had us all worried sick these past few days."
"Sorry..." He tried to say more, but his eye suddenly became too heavy to hold open any longer. Then he felt himself drifting back under the water again.
The next time he came up for air, the room was completely silent. As he became more aware of his surroundings, he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of panic, thinking he was back in that small, dark cell all alone.
As he sucked in a breath, the pain in his chest graduated from a dull roar to full-on screaming. His eyes flew open as his panic grew. This couldn't be happening... something wasn't right...
"Rodney, calm down! It's alright, you're safe!"
Elizabeth. She was sitting next to him, holding his hand, stroking his arm, trying to calm him down again. "Hey," she said with a sweet smile. "You startled me, waking up like that."
Rodney blinked in confusion. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around this - was she real? Was he really back on Atlantis, or was this just another dream? "Elizabeth?"
She smiled again. "Yeah, it's me."
He tried to lift his free hand to touch her face, but it felt like a lead weight was attached to it. "Are you real this time?" he asked.
Elizabeth's eyes started to shine like she was about to cry or something. "Yes, Rodney, I'm real," she said. "How are you feeling?"
Rodney did a quick inventory. "Like I've had the crap beaten out of me," he said with a wince.
Elizabeth looked like she'd been slapped in the face, and it made Rodney feel awful.
"Thirsty," he said in an attempt at changing the subject.
Elizabeth sprang to her feet immediately and got him some water. She even helped him take a few sips. It felt good to be waited on like that. "Anything else?" she asked as she sat down again.
"No, 's fine," Rodney said, his words starting to slur together as he grew tired again.
Elizabeth smiled and reached out a hand to stroke his hair. "It's good to have you back, Rodney," she said.
Rodney didn't know what to say to that. He remembered coming to the conclusion that no one had missed him at all - that they'd abandoned him to his fate at Kolya's hands - and now here he was, back on Atlantis with Elizabeth telling him she was glad to see him.
Maybe he was dreaming, after all.
"You... you missed me?" he finally asked.
Elizabeth laughed and swiped at her eyes. "Don't sound so surprised," she said. "You have no idea how much we've all missed you, and how hard we tried to get you back. We didn't know where you were, and God knew what they were doing to you... I almost went out of my mind."
Rodney's mouth fell open somewhere during this speech, and he just stared at her in amazement until she choked up and stopped talking. "Then... none of it was true?" he whispered.
"None of what was true?"
"K...Kolya... he said you'd left me... that you'd made a deal... you'd join the confederation if you didn't try to rescue me."
"God, no!" Elizabeth said, shaking her head. "Nothing could be further from the truth! We were tearing our hair out trying to find you, and we were about ready to declare war against the Decarians if we hadn't discovered where you were when we did. We never left you, Rodney. Don't believe a word of what Kolya told you."
These words were like music to Rodney's ears. They hadn't left him... they'd found him after all... he was safe... he was home...
He finally couldn't hold it in any longer. He burst into tears.
As soon as he felt himself start to crumble, Elizabeth perched herself next to him on his bed and drew his head into her lap. Even while his sobs made his ribs feel like they were on fire and his head feel like it was going to explode, Rodney couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of being comforted and loved for real. This was much sweeter than any of his trauma-induced dreams or hallucinations had been.
He cried himself to sleep, ironically feeling happier than he'd felt in a long, long time.