What If…?

Chapter 15

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY, AND I DON'T OWN THE KAMIKAZE WATERMELON. THAT IS ALL. NO…REALLY. THIS IS G- AHEM

What if the Tantei had to fight someone with a trident?

"This is Hinoki." Koenma informed the Tantei as he held up a picture of the demon.

Yusuke blinked.

"Like the tree?"

Koenma sighed.

"Yes. Like the tree… Now, he has been causing some disturbance in the Ningenkai so-"

"You want us to go there, kick his butt, and then drag him back here?"

Koenma twitched.

"…Yes…"

They were in the middle of nowhere when they came upon a lake. Not a big one, really, it was more of a pon- Anyway, when they got there they felt an obvious demonic presence.

"You'd think if they took the trouble to get here they could at least TRY to hide."

The other's nodded in agreement.

Kuwabara decided to take the initiative (?) and yelled out,

"Show yourself you vile demon!"

The water started to bubble, only barely at first, but then it started to intensify.

Kuwabara jumped back.

"Whoa!"

There, standing on the water's surface was a tall demon, with white spiky hair and dark green (Skin? Scales? A little bit of both?). He spoke with a voice like a stream running over pebbles.

"Who dares call me vile? I am the purest of water, the clearest of lakes, the freshest of streams-"

"I'm the leader of the infamous Spirit Detectives! I am Kazuma Kuwabara, the MAN! I am the strongest of the strong! The bravest of the brave! And I can call you vile if I feel like it, punk!"

Yusuke blinked in confusion. Then he looked annoyed.

"Hey! I'm the leader!"

Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Great. Two ranting idiots…"

Both still ranting idiots paused to yell,

"I heard that!"

Before they continued…

Kurama sighed resignedly.

"I suppose that nothing short of a nuclear explosion will stop them…"

Yusuke raised an eyebrow.

"It's pronounced 'nuclear'…"

"That's what I said…"

One hour later

It had been a whole grueling hour of introductory speeches, ranting and raving, obscene gestures, death threats, and bad 'yo mamma' jokes. The two 'combatants' were finally gasping for breath, at a loss for words.

Meanwhile, in waiting:

Kurama was experimenting with his plants, ending up with a carnivorous kamikaze watermelon, which then proceeded to bite Yusuke and self destruct.

Yusuke was trying in vain to escape Kurama's 'creations' while yelling at Hiei for laughing at his misfortune.

Hiei just tuned out the shouting and watched what Kurama was doing with interest. He even offered helpful advice from time to time. He was even laughing at Yusuke, albeit evilly.

Now, they finally regained interest in the two.

"Okay, now that you guys are done…" Yusuke paused to glare challengingly at the pair. "Let's get down to the fighting!"

Hinoki glared ominously and held up a Hand.

The others all gave him odd looks.

"Why is it a 'Hand' instead of just a hand?"

"Beats me,"

The pon- lake demon shot Kuwabara a smug look.

"Because it is the hand of the great Hinoki, plus it can do….THIS!"

What appeared to be a large fork appeared in his hands and he laughed manically.

"You're going to fight us with a fork?" Hiei asked incredulously.

Hinoki shook his head sadly.

"No you poor short demon-"

Hiei gave his best I'm-going-to-kill-you glare at Hinoki, who didn't seem to notice.

"THIS is my… ALMIGHTY TRIDENT OF DOOM!"

Kurama raised an eyebrow.

"Really. It looks more like a fork to me,"

Hinoki started quivering in suppressed rage.

"It is NOT A FORK! IT IS AN ALMIGHTY TRIDENT!"

"Okay… If it is a trident-"

He was interrupted by a shout of:

"ALMIGHTY TRIDENT!"

Kurama's eye twitched in annoyance.

"Fine. An almighty trident. But what does it do?"

Hinoki scratched his head sheepishly.

"Erm…I have no clue… BUT I WILL FIND OUT! EVENTUALLY!"

Yusuke snickered.

"Heh, even when he's admitting his downfall he's triumphant…"

"HA! No…wait…"

Kurama just decided to end it quickly and sent a CKW (carnivorous kamikaze watermelon) at the idiot (not Kuwabara).

"Owie!"

Hinoki passed out.

"Huzzah…Now we have to lug this guy back to Spirit World…"

"'We' Kuwabara? I think not. Have fun!"

Kurama said happily.

Too happily…

"Huh? Guys? Why are you leaving? I can't drag this guy back by myself! Guys!"

Teehee! Even I thought that was funny! But never mind MY opinion.

Did I use initiative right? Dangit! I can't get words right after my brain is fried… XD

Anyway, if you didn't notice, the number doesn't correspond with the chapter.The number is merely the list number from which I am writing.

But I have a favor to ask. Does anyone know the fic where the tantei are turned chibi and Yukina has to watch them? I think two of Youko's past 'girlfriends' turned them that way… And Kuronue's ghost showed up! He had ghostly powers! I loved that fic, if anyone will tell me what the title is or can give me the link I will be eternally grateful! I'll even write a special chapter for you! (You decide what 'What if…?' I will use at least...) Also IF YOU WROTE THAT FIC: It's soooooooooo kewl! Wheeeeeee!

Signing out,

Kitsunegirl911