Welfare twin number one:
Yeah, FFVII+ stuff+ characters not mine. Blah blah blah. Don't hate me, but this is pretty much my first fanfic ever. I know there's bound to be a bazillion grammatical errors but I'm sure you'll be able to decipher whatever it is I'm trying to say ( if not, I appologize in advance)
note this takes place while Zack is still alive ( hence Rufus not being president yet)
if you like this ( or even if you don't) Go read my partner in crime, welfare twin # 2's FFVII fic called The Succession of Chapters: A Turk Story. It's so funny I think I almost crapped myself.
Chapter One: Leotards and Sneakery
In the wee hours of the morning, long before most in the same vacinity had awoke, Sephiroth creeped into the hall outside his quarters.
Clad mostly in black ( as black was agreeably a more suitable colour for wearing while involved in such acts as creeping than say, yellow) and toting what appeared to be a duffle bag,
Sephiroth made his way silently to the nearest elevator. After pushing the down arrow he made up his mind to stop creeping about because A: it was suspicious and B: almost everyone that would be spying or even aware of him was most likely still recovering after the all night party down in the labs ( hosted by Hojo himself, of course). One could only assume that many of the party's participants would find themselves wondering where various body parts and quarts of blood had gone to and why they feel more than slightly violated.
After waiting only a few moments, the doors opened with a ping! and Sephiroth prepared himself to step inside the presumably unoccupied elevator. Though the elevator was not unoccupied as one would have ( and Sephiroth -did-) expect. Sephiroth was instead met with a half naked Palmer and a rather ravaged looking air filled, poor excuse for a woman.
"..." Was all he could muster at the shock.
" Uuhm, I uh, uhh, " Palmer stuttered nervously. " This is,uhm, Linda! She's the uh, the president's new secretary! Yes. Secretary. uh.Are you getting on?"
"..." Sephiroth was hurridly smashing the buttons outside the elevator. He would have ran if it weren't for the fact his legs were paralyzed with shock.
The doors finally ping'ed closed again and Sephiroth let out the breath he'd been holding. He recalled the plastic woman in the elevator and could have sworn it looked as if she were begging him to stab her in the face with whatever object made itself available; a pen, a shoe, his own face, just as long as it got the job done and fast.
He didn't blame it. He would have probably been decorated as a hero for saving the poor thing from a fate most agreeably worse than being stabbed in the face.
Upon further contemplation, he decided he would much rather stab Palmer.
The doors ping'ed open again and Sephiroth stepped in.
" ..." He kicked the jumbo sized, slightly stained, breifs to the furthest corner of the elevator and shuddered.
A few minutes after the elevator incident, our silver haired friend stepped into the six o'clock dawn outside the ShinRa building where he held residnece. Strolling casually, he made his way away from the building.
Some short while later, he arrived at a secluded area fenced in by various trees and shrubbery that would adequately hide whatever ongoings should happen in the space. He, of course, had been surveying the area for several days to ensure that the place was in fact deserted ( except for a few very large human shapped things he assumed were some sort of squirrel). Sephiroth glanced about suspiciously. He crouched low to the ground and begand pulling abjects out of the bag.
One that stood out amoungst the others was a portable stereo...
Hidden behind dense shrubbery, Zack saw what could only be described as -the- single best peice of blackmail evidence that ever was or ever would be. Oh yes. This was downright -juicy-. Zack brought out the camera he kept for occassions just like this one ( actually, he usually kept it for taking perverted photos of recruits in the showers, keep in mind that even officers of his rank had no access to the female showers)
Yes, this was -not- the kind of thing a person could ever live down. Zack grinned to himself clutching his mouth to keep any laughter from escaping.
Tell me what you think. Should I add anything? Omit? Short, I know! but there are more!