Yah, this is weird. I'm dedicating the weekend of 2/25-27 to be a fan fic updating week, and I shall not rest nor watch Madd TV until all of my current fan fictions are updated, along with a spiffy new depressing fic, called The Sun, which is this one! Yay! I come up with the most twisted fics—I guarantee that no one has published or thought of one like this, so enjoy my freaky Originality!
Disclaimer: I owe an apology to Marvel, who owns all recognizable Characters, because what I did to Jay's makes what they did to him look like sending him to school. This is First-job-bad. The song 'not meant for me' belongs to Anne Rice or whoever wrote the songs on the Queen of the Damned Soundtrack, so I don't own the lyrics.
Summary: One year after Julia's death, Jay finally tells his story as he sinks into darkness. Non Main Character death.
I'm trapped in this world, lonely and fading
Heart broke and waiting for you to come
We're stuck in this world that's not meant for me
For me
So what you've got one last shot
To show that you're not needed
Come on—it's killing me
Static-X, Not meant for me
Light gossamer wings stretched for the fragile body, moving in and out of tune with the breeze, I watched as the Butterfly flitted in the open summer air. It started toward me, and my eyes widened in shock. It landed on my finger with a twitch of the antennae, it delicate tongue unraveled to take a sip of my pain.
It was beautiful. The wings were the colour of the sky, and light stands of purple stretched from one wing tip to the other. It gently crawled from my finger tip to my palm, and it lay there, resting from a days' exhaustion. I tenderly put my finger on its wing and brushed it, now it would fly no more.
It was so beautiful. I had to take it away from the world; it would just spit on the beauty and massacre every thing that did not fit into its view of the word perfect. The butterfly was no longer perfect, it was defected, and so it had to go.
I crushed it in my fist; I could feel the wings flapping before death took it. I opened my hand. It fell to the grass, the nerves making it twitch bit before it fell still, a beautiful thing killed, like I had done to her.
It flew too close to the sun.
My wings opened, and I hovered off of the ground. The wind came, came to take me away. I would not let. I still had to find her. I heard soft footsteps behind me; I lazily turned my head to see who it was. A little mutant girl stared at me; her reptilian eyes the only clue to the sickness inside of her.
She cleared her throat. "Did you do that?" Her voice was light and sweet, almost like mine had been until I had died.
I nodded. She gasped a bit, her snake tongue flickering out to taste the wind. She kept one of her eyes on me and reached down to scoop the dead insect of the ground. She clutched it between her hands, like it was a precious jewel.
"Why? It was so pretty, like you," She said, I was unflatterd. I was not beautiful, I was a horrible ugly thing on the inside, were no one could see, I was the spider that devoured the fly named innocence.
It was time that she learn of the cruelties of mankind. "What is your name?" I asked, she grew a smile at the sound of my voice.
"Jillian."
I did not smile back. Small talk world have to ensure first, then I could get to my lesson.
"Do you know that you're a mutant, Jillian?" I asked, and her brow furrowed with the odd question. I waited for the answer patiently, while she still looked.
"Yes, I know what a mutant is. My Mommy and Daddy still love me, though. Karen's parents don't love her. They hid her in a closet until Ms. Emma found her," she said, trying to incorporate someone she knew into her answer, like most small children did, putting someone else they knew into the spotlight instead of her, "I know that I'm a mutant."
I grew a slight smile. Then she knew that she was a plague upon the earth, along with the Humans. "Good."
"Mmmhmm," She hummed, and I could tell that she was losing interest in our conversation. I could no let this happen.
"Jillian, do you know what death is?"
She nodded, the light leaving her eyes slightly at my solemn question.
"Let me tell you a story."
I paused before my next words, she might not need to now the truth until later in her sad life, I could just end up traumatizing her. I pushed it away. She had to know, they all had to know of what I've done.
"Once upon a time, there was a boy, and He was in love with a girl who was beautiful and innocent and did not deserve what the boy did to her. Do know what he did? He killed her." Her eyes widened with the words. I was beginning to enjoy telling my story. "She thought that he was dead, so she killed herself. The boy woke up, and it turned out that he could heal himself. But it was too late. The girl was dead. The boy tried to join her, but he kept healing and healing. He killed the girl; he should have kept his love for her in his heart so she could live." I paused. Her mouth was open slightly, and faint tears were already beginning to form in her glassy yellow eyes. "And that's the end."
I sank to the ground. A tear ran down my face, joined but others quickly. I looked at her; she was crumpled on the earth. I sat by her. "Do you understand?" I asked her.
She let out a small whimper, implying that she didn't. I sighed. I didn't want to have to explain why she should never love, why there was no such thing.
"The boy did not love the girl. He looked like an angel, but he had the heart of the devil. If he really loved the girl, he could have saved her. But he didn't, so he ran away, and didn't stay by her final resting place. He ran away because He was scared of seeing her, of thinking that she was alive when she really wasn't. He was scared of loving her."
She threw her hands around my neck and buried her face in my chest, crying out her tears. I continued.
"And that is why you shouldn't love. Love is not real. The boy said that he loved the girl, but he didn't save her, so he really didn't." I wrapped my arms around her thin frame, cradling her until her sobs faded into a strangled gasp that continued in time with her every breath.
I lifted her head out my neck slowly and tilted her head up towards mine slightly. I smiled in spite of my watery eyes; this time she did not smile back.
"The girls name was Julia. Remember that. She shouldn't be forgotten, even if the boy some times wishes that he could, so he could live. Will you remember the name? Will you do that for me, Jillian?" I asked, and she nodded. "Say her name for me, please."
"Julia," She whimpered, and I nodded. She would not forget Julia.
"Your parents do not love you, Jillian. They only say that they do because they raised you, and you think that you love them."
Her face grew unrecognizable.
"Love is not real, Jillian."
I untangled her hands from my neck. "Now, Jillian, go back to the mansion, please. Don't tell any one about our little encounter, I wish to tell them my self."
She stood up on her wobbly legs, and looked at me resentfully. Her hair black hair began to flow in the breeze, and I knew that I could knock one off of my list. One had been taught the lesson, only 6 billion more to go.
I murmured something under my breath.
"What?" She asked, and I should have said no more. I did.
"I flew to close to the sun. She was the sun; I was Ickoris on my wax wings. She was my downfall, my sweet death. Do not forget her name. Do not forget what I told you today."
She gasped slightly at my revelation that I was the boy, that she was my Julia. I took delight in her shock.
She turned and started to run away, up the path and away from me forever. But she would never forget, nor would she ever learn.
"Do not love, Jillian!"
xXx
Many years have passed. Jillian is dead, dead on her 14th birthday, because of a failed romance. Her lover joined her soon after.
I told her,
But she did not listen.
I told them all.
If you listen, you can hear a world in pain. I tried to help take the pain away, if they could realize one simple thing.
There is no such thing as love.
But they couldn't learn. They refused to, even though most of them recognized the truth in my words.
Listen.
xXx
Cracked lips stretched over wrinkled skin as it spotted its newest candidate. A man sat at a bar, trying to drown his sorrows in a bottle.
"Her name was Sherrie; she was like the sun…" He warbled, a tear finding its way out of his eye. The thing sitting on the barstool next to him cackled with real amusement.
John looked over at the thing, intent upon finding out what its problem was, until he saw. It was a mass of rags and dirt, but his breath caught in his throat as he noticed the bright red wings that grew out of its back.
They were beautiful.
He lurched out of his seat, intent upon touching the glory that was the burst of colour.
A face turned to look at him, it was so terrible for a moment he screamed, screamed for all of his life and forgot about Sherrie, for got about the empty home he was going to go back too, to the shot gun hanging in his closet. The screamed died as the thing started to speak.
"Do you want to here a story?"
He nodded dumbly, the things voice was beautiful, it was like that of an Angel. He gulped slightly; he was afraid for the first time in his life that he would never own a dog, never Feel Sherrie's soft skin again, that they would never reconcile for their past woes.
His fears were very real.
Judgment day's cummin', grab your rosaries and start prayin'
The angel must have heard his thoughts, because it grunted a reply. "I'm no angel. You'll find out for yourself later on, but for now, let's just start the tale."
John sunk to the ground.
"There once was a boy…"
End. It was short, disturbing, and depressing. Just like all of my fics. Most of you are probably going to bitch at me for what I did to Jay, but if I read this by someone else, I would be right along with you. I obviously don't believe what Jay said, I do think that there is such a thing called Love, but to make the Fic better, so I gave him some insanity.
I tried to give Jay (Gah, I keep wanting to call him Josh) a bit of Utilitarian Bioethics (EVIL!) which is a new branch of Bioethics where people believe that Anyone with any type of Physical or Mental Disability should be killed, or denied medical care until they die, this includes the elderly too, I hate it, it's totally evil, but people actually believe in this crap, like most of Germany and the Nazi's. I also tried to give him a slight hint of Sadism. Love it? Hate it? Couldn't care either way? Well, you can tell me all in your about it REVIEW!