Author's Note Thanks again to everyone who has read this and more thanks to people who have reviewed. I really appreciate it so thanks! Sorry that I kept spelling village wrong! It's a habit I've got into but I'm trying to break it! Anyway, here's the next chap...

Jack had been worried that we would all catch pneumonia or something from our wet clothes so he insisted on Charlie and I coming back to the farmhouse to get changed and warm. I tried to tell him that I should just go straight home, not wanting to have to face Karen again but he absolutely insisted So I hunched up my shoulders and tagged along behind him. Gotz said he would take Murrey back to his house while he got changed and then escort him over to the inn. He also said he'd call over to my place and let everyone know we were all safe and well but drying off. I wondered what Doug would have to say about having to supply free meals for a few days but didn't mention anything as we had gotten Charlie back and that was all that mattered.

I was happy to see that Karen had gone to bed when we returned. The house looked sweet and cosy even with her wine bottles lying around everywhere. Jack quickly lit up the fire and ushered myself and Charlie in front of it. Then he said he would go and get changed in the bedroom and I was welcome to use the bathroom if I liked. It was very strange hearing him say that when for two years I had waltzed in and out of the bathroom as I pleased. In the time that I had lived with Jack I had begun to love the house and the farm, as much, if not more than my parents house. I felt comfortable there and the minute I settled myself and Charlie in front of the fire I felt at peace. I had missed the house like an old friend. My parents place seemed so cold and uncomfortable in comparison and late at night before I went to sleep I would try to imagine being tucked up in my bed at Jack's. The bedroom fire would be cackling and Jack would be whistling in the kitchen as he made himself a cup of tea. If I asked, he would make me one too and we would sit up into the early hours talking. We would talk about all sorts of things. We never ran out of words like I feared. The best times were when we talked about our childhood. He had a way of cracking me open and letting the real me creep silently into the room. She'll stay for a while, fragile and gentle, stuttering a little as she tells her story, tells of all the hurt and pain that longs to be released. Then jack will hold her in his arms and just as quietly, in between sleeping and waking, she'll slip away again. Maybe it's Jack's own fears and hurt that brings her out. All I know is when he starts to talk about the time when his Mum left and how alone he felt, this horrible feeling comes over me as if I'm living it with him. My heart is breaking for him. That's when she emerges to haunt me again. But those days are now gone.

I try to remind myself of that as I peel off Charlie clothes and carry him into the bathroom to run him a warm bath. I try to remind myself that this isn't "our" house anymore. Karen lives here. My Mum always likes to say "They live in sin." Narrowing her eyes and swallowing heavily like she's trying to get rid of a bad taste. Nobody approved of them not marrying first. Even Mayor Thomas had words and Manna went on and on about the "unholiness" of it all and how that Karen was a right little madame who needed to have a few lessons in the art of keeping her knickers on. Sasha retorted that Manna was hardly the pure maiden when she walked up the aisle with Duke, in fact she was already pregnant with Aja. Sometimes, back then when it was still the talk of the town, I felt like standing up and just screaming my head off until I blocked their voices out. I never did.

Charlie was not enjoying his bath. He splashed water all over me and put his lungs to good use. I was sure that any moment Karen was going to wake up and ask what the hell we were doing in her bathroom but she must be quite a heavy sleeper because the bedroom remained deathly silent. When I heard the bathroom door opened I thought it was going to be her but instead Jack came in dressed in a more comfortable outfit. He laughed at Charlie, picked up a bottle of bubble bath and squirted a heap of it into the tub.

"Now he's going to make more of a mess." I sighed but inside I was laughing too. Jack made no response, leant down and started splashing the water with Charlie who screamed in laughter. When Charlie was first born I was so worried that something was going to hurt him that I wouldn't let anybody touch him, not even Jack. I wouldn't let Jack touch me either. I would find myself crying for no reason and shouting at him when he had done nothing wrong. When our marriage broke up the doctor asked to see me for a little chat. I found it hard to talk at first but when I finally did he diagnosed me with post natal depression and gave me a bottle of pills to help. It's hard but things have got easier and soon I will be able to go off my medication. I have never told anyone about my illness despite the Doctor's advice. If I did I know Mum would be all over me and would certainly keep trying to take Charlie off my hands. Now, just when I have finally learnt to love him and not fear him. That's why she enraged me when she even suggested I might have the baby blues. That is all behind me now and I'm going to be a Mum to Charlie. But anyway, what I'm trying to say is, the terror that took over me stopped me from seeing things properly. I couldn't see how great a Dad Jack is. I pushed him away from Charlie and myself and he kept saying that he loved me and that he was going to stand by me, with no explanation for my distance and my nastiness it was only a matter of time before he was going to start believing the things I said about not wanting him anywhere near me anymore. I suppose I could say that I pushed him into the arms of Karen. But that isn't strictly true. She worked hard to get him. But I will say this, Jack isn't the sort of person who can be alone. All she had to do was push the right buttons when he was already weak. I do love him to death and would like to think he once felt the same and those of you would say "If he loved you he wouldn't have ran off with Karen." But you don't know the whole story and yes in perfect fairytales love withstands anything but in real life people are not all the same. People have good and bad in them and in some situations you can see the good and in others the bad is going to snap up and surprise you.

"Come here little rascal..." I didn't know how much time had passed but all of a sudden Jack was lifting Charlie out of the bath and wrapping him in a huge white towel.

"Perhaps you and Karen will have children one day." I said. At the time I didn't know why I said it but I know now that I was trying to show him I wasn't going to blow a fuse if he wanted to talk about her. Of course I was going to be upset but he couldn't know that. I was hiding that fragile Mary again. Keeping all feelings back behind a smiley mask.

Jack looked up at me, his lips turning white as they pressed together then back down at Charlie again. "I don't think so." He muttered.

"Has this one put you off for good?" I laughed and tapped Charlie's head.

"Karen and I wouldn't make great parents." He said, after a long pause.

"Don't be silly. You're a great Dad and I can imagine Karen with daughters. She'd teach them all to dance, no doubt." I laughed again but he didn't. His face remained grave and he picked up Charlie and carried him into the living room. I followed sheepishly, twiddling with a strand of my hair and feeling my stomach fizz with nerves. Why was I even there in the first place? Tell him you're going home, Mary. Make up some excuse and leave. You've already caused enough damage as it is. There's no way you can be friends with him. Not after everything that has happened.

Jack went into the bedroom with Charlie and laid him down on his bed to sleep. He returned after a few seconds and stood there, looking at me. That would have been the perfect moment to tell him that I had to go but for some reason my mouth wouldn't work. Maybe it was the way he looked at me. His eyes searching for a thousand answers that for the past few months I had been longing to give him. He was reaching out for me in the way he always had. He used to say I was the only one who really knew him. He said I was his best friend. We couldn't get any closer. We knew every part of each other. And what were we now? Standing apart from each other, everything that had been nestling between us. Oceans between us. If I looked into his eyes I could be fooled into believing I could cross them but it was just a fairytale. One that I wasn't going to let myself be taken in by.

I turned my head and looked away, adjusting my glasses to give my hands something to do. I knew that if I didn't I would fall and I'd never get back up again. I had to stay strong. I heard him sigh in a tight angry way and his hands flew to his tousled hair.

"Yes, that's it. Turn away again, Mary, turn away." He threw himself on to one of the chairs at the table and gestured for me to do the same. I shyly perched on the edge and told myself that the door was just a little way away and I could easily fetch Charlie and leave. "I just don't get you." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"That's what I mean. You talk to me as if I'm still your friend. You don't get angry or tell me I should have married Karen or whatever."

"Do you think you should have married Karen by now, then?"

"That isn't the point."

"What is the point?"

"Why are you still being nice to me? I thought you hated me..."

I gripped the edge of the table my whole body felt like someone was gripping me. I had to wait a few seconds before I opened my mouth or else I knew words wouldn't be the only thing that escaped. Tears would too. "I never meant that, Jack. All those things I said, I didn't mean them. I can't even remember most of them." It was true that most of the early stage of my illness I couldn't remember anything but mist and a horrible feeling of panic. I am glad that nobody but Jack and Charlie saw much of me then. Or maybe I would rather have the whole village see me than have to look at Jack from what I put him through back then.

"Then why...?" I could see even more confusion take hold of him. I knew there was no way out now. I should have left while I still had the chance.

"I have to take pills." I started, realising it was a terrible way to start but I couldn't go back. "Jack, I had an illness."

"What illness?"

I took a deep breath. "Depression. Post natal depression. That's why I wouldn't let you near Charlie... Or me... It gets you that way sometimes. Elli's given me some books and leaflets about it. It's to do with a woman's hormones after birth. It affects different women in different ways and can make you do some really silly things. It..."

"Yeah I know what it is!" His voice was raised and his face red as he stood up in front of me. "How come you didn't tell me? How long have you known? I just... Can't... I can't get my head around this, Mary."

"I found out a month after we broke up and I've been on medication since then. I didn't tell you because to start off with I didn't know myself and then when I did find out it wasn't worth telling you. You were with Karen then."

"I can't believe you have been going through all of this and I didn't even know." He shook his head, eyes still wide in shock.

"There's nothing you could have done for me."

"Nothing I could have done? Mary, I could have been there for you. If I had known..."

I rose from the chair. "I better go now. I don't think Karen would be too happy about having us here all night. And Charlie needs routine. I better get back to Mum's an... I mean... Home." I had no idea what nonsense my tongue was spilling as I made my way to the bedroom door to collect our son. I never got there though. Jack's hands reached out and caught hold of mine then pulled me close to him. I felt like my whole world was spinning around and around and I didn't have a clue how I could stop it.

"Please don't go. We need to talk about this."

"There's nothing left to say. It's all too late now."

"It's never too late. I want to be there for you. You don't have to be on your own anymore. I thought you had just made a mistake in marrying me."

"How could you have thought that? You knew that I loved you."

His eyes darkened. "You were always too good for me anyway."

"Don't be silly." My heart pounded in my ears, the vibration ripping through my whole body. "If anything it was the other way around."

"Mary..." He pulled me even closer then stood up and put his arms around me. He brushed a few stray strands of hair from my face and looked deep into my eyes. I longed to put my hands to his face but I knew I had to hold back. We both had to hold back. I had to stop him but I had wanted this so long. Ever since the cloud had lifted from my eyes I had wanted this. Now I had it. How could I deny myself? After all these weeks of crying and loneliness, watching him with Karen. Knowing I could have held on to him if only things had been different. If only things had been different then I wouldn't have to stop this. If only Karen wasn't sleeping in the next room. "I'm still in love with you." He whispered, leaning forwards but I pulled from his grasp. Skittish, my hands and feet flying everywhere.

"No... We can't do this. I have to go home. You're with Karen. Everything's wrong. I need to go."

"I'll break up with Karen." He said, a very serious look on his face. "She isn't anything to me. She's not like you."

I froze. A thousand thoughts running through my head like the waves of an ocean. If only I could catch hold of one of them and make sense of it all. "I need to think about this." I said, "Just let me think. Are you going to Elli's wedding?"

"Yes."

"Okay, meet me on the summit after the ceremony. I'll let you know what I've decided then."