Chapter 10

If she hadn't been pregnant, Sara knew that she would have taken up smoking again. She was in a state that could only be categorized as agitated. Her dark eyes scanned the new house, Gily's spacious room next to the brother that would come in a four months. She had taken to motherhood naturally, with very little anxiety. When Gily had arrived she had loved him an nurtured him in a way that she had never been. It was one of the things that she had been put on earth to do, like being a scientist or a good friend.

Now she was setting up house with Gil and her nerves were nearly raw. She didn't know if she had chosen the right furniture, bought the best sheets or stocked their small wine room with the appropriate vintages.

She poured over Martha Stewart and Better Homes trying to be learn how to be a wife only she wasn't a wife. Gil had said nothing about marriage instead he appeared to be completely comfortable with their living arrangements.

"Sara" Catherine called from the front entrance.

She appeared in the kitchen her face full of appreciation. "Sara Sidle this place is breathtaking. Who knew you had this kind of eye." She turned to face the spacious living area.

Sara pointed to her stack of books and magazines. "Homework."

"Still the same old Sara."

"You want some coffee, some wine? I can't have any but it should be okay for you."

Catherine shook her head forlornly. "Guess whose old ass is knocked up."

Sara grinned in delight. "What did Warrick say?"

"Something about keeping those Grissom kids away from his daughter."

"You know what you are having?"

"Warrick's grandmother did some mojo over my belly and she says it a girl."

"What did his grandmother think of you? You are a skinny white girl you know."

"She's coming around. She and Linds are close. You should see them. This pale blond teenager and this Lena Horne look alike. They had grandparent's day at the school and there was Sam Braun, old casino boss, Marilyn Brown, the Josephine Baker of Vegas and my mother Jacqueline Willows former showgirl headliner. I think the other kids were summarily impressed and the teachers quite possibly frightened."

Sara rummaged through the cabinets. "I have some tea that is supposed that I drank with Gily, supposed to increase the baby's IQ."

"Increase IQ…these kids were bred by four of the smartest people I know."

Sara laughed. It was to have Cath around again. Sara set the sleek modern kettle on the eye. Flames whipped up around it. She had wanted a gas stove because she'd read in one of Emeril's books that serious cooks preferred gas over electric.

She poured two cups. They were from a depression era set that Sara had found at a flee market. The teapot made a finishing sound as Sara finally located the tea.

"So how are you settling in?"

Catherine tapped Gil on the shoulder. He jumped a little. She had called his name several times before initiating the touch.

He looked up for the mountain of paperwork that had accumulated while they had been in California.

"Hey knocked and over forty. How's tricks?"

"Did you just used knocked up and trick in the same sentence? You have to stop hanging around Brass."

Catherine remained standing.

"This can't be good. You are standing so you can keep the position of power."

Catherine nodded. Gil knew all her tricks to compensate for being a petite slight woman.

"The place is beautiful Gil. Sara has done wonders."

Gil smiled with pride.

"How many times do they have mass during the week?"

Gil wondered where this was going. "Loads…Why?"

"Because you need to be there every time they ring the bells. You have a son, one on the way and the woman you love back. God needs to hear from you all day everyday..."

Gil's mother would have said much the same thing. He was sorry that she hadn't lived to see his son.

"So what's the but?"

Catherine took a step closer. Her arms were folded. "The but is that Sara is trying to make everything picture perfect for you, not because she wants to, but so that she can show you that's she worthy of your love or marriage."

"Sara doesn't have those medieval attitudes. She likes to do that stuff. Her house in California was nice and she baked bread and grew her own herbs. You know how she is. She likes learning knew things," Gil dismissed Catherine's observations.

"Alright then here's a little quiz. Have you ordered pizza, bought burgers or consumed any type of fast food since she moved here."

Gil cocked his head to one side. "No…that doesn't mean anything. You know she doesn't eat much meat and she wants to eat healthy for the baby."

Catherine barreled on. "Gily's birthday is next month. Do you know where it's going to be?"

"At the house."

"Do you know how many kids?"

"Gily's class she said."

"There are fifteen kids in Gily's class and if Sara invites his entire age group we are looking at least thirty kids."

"That's a lot?"

Catherine shook her strawberry blond tresses. "Gil I don't know any pregnant woman that wants to throw a birthday party in her home with thirty kids that barely know how to wipe their noses. This is a time when you pack those puppies up and take them to Circus Circus with a slew of nannies and lots of cash while you get her the prenatal massage in the spa. Lindsey's sweet sixteen is in a few months and I am this close to sending her and friend off to Europe with my sister. The idea of some big hoo-ha makes me want to pass out. I won't even dwell on the fact that she probably still working fulltime."

Gil leaned forward as he remembered the nights she had called from work, still up going over cases she was consulting for.

"And what is the deal with this cocktail party?"

"She wants to see everyone again all at once."

"The entire lab…she didn't work with the entire lab. She worked ten people at the most and those ten will be happy with a case of beer and take out pizzas."

Grissom thought of Nick, Warrick, Greg, Jacqui and Bobby. They would all prefer the beer and pizza to finger food and designer martinis.

"Gil she is waving her hand in the air like when she was your student. The woman is jumping up and down saying "me" "me". Pick me Dr. Grissom because I will be a super wife, a great mother and good for your career to boot."

"Sara knows that I don't care about that stuff."

"How could she Gil? When it was decision making time you didn't choose Sara. She thinks analytically. She is increasing her odds of being Mrs. Grissom in a very calculated but desperate way. Sara is terrified that you will decide she's not the one like you did before."

Gil didn't speak as he thought of the fresh flowers, the precisely laundered shirts and the home cooking at every meal. Gil hadn't made himself so much as a sandwich since Sara and Gily had moved in.

"What do I do?"

"First, are you planning to marry the woman because she needs to know if you are or if the Julia thing spoiled it for her?"

"I have to wait for an annulment."

"Why are you getting an annulment? I thought you couldn't those unless you had not done the wild thing."

"I'm getting a church annulment. Marriage is a sacrament of the Catholic Church. If I want to be married in the church again, I have my first marriage annulled first. It can be an a long process and it can take a while"

"Sara is hung up on being married in church?"

Gil sighed heavily. "Sara is very conventional. Her parents were hippies and her childhood wasn't great. Do you know the last time I went to mass before Sara moved? It was when I married Julia. With Sara we go every week and she had threatened to make me join the Knight of Columbus. She and Gily converted to Catholicism because I was raised Catholic and this was when I wasn't in the picture."

"Have you told her about the annulment?"

"No, I didn't want to get her hopes up in case it didn't work out. Whatever happens I want the proposal and the ring to at least hold a small element of surprise. I thought we were on the same page. I thought she knew we were headed that way. We have two kids for goodness sake. "

"Tell her for God's sake Gil cause this Martha Stewart on speed routine is making me look bad to tall dark and handsome."

Sara walked forlornly in the back door. She had been all over town looking for X-men plates for Gily's birthday party. She was surprised to see Gil stirring something on the stove.

He took her purse and bags chastising her for lifting anything. "Sara you should not be carrying anything heavy."

"It's just paper plates. What are you doing?"

"Making dinner for my family."

He kissed her cheek and pushed her towards the kitchen table. "Keep me company while I create."

"What are you creating?" She was glad to be off her feet.

Gil shook his head and set down a glass of iced tea for Sara.

He tossed something green into the pot. Sara craned her neck to see. "Is that your mom's sauce? When I was pregnant with Gil I had lustful thoughts about that sauce."

He brought a basket of bread and bowl of pasta to the table. Gil had made his one pasta dish that Maria Grissom had taught him.

"Where's Gily?"

"Lindsey's babysitting. They were hatching some scheme about cute boys and the mall. Lindsey apparently uses him as bait. Gily thinks that if he can't have Catherine then Lindsey will do. He seems to think time is on his side. He wanted to know if we could buy her a crown for Christmas."

"Where does he get this stuff?"

"He loves beautiful women like his father."

Gil kissed Sara's forehead before he pulled a chair to her.

His hand clasped hers.

"You need to rest. You are overdoing."

Sara started to argue but thought better of it. She was dead on her feet. She couldn't keep the pace up.

"Catherine seems to think you are doing all this stuff with the house and Gily to try and convince me to marry you."

Sara was silent. It was one her defense mechanisms. When she was cornered she clammed up or started babbling.

"Honey?"

"I want to make a nice home for my family," she said skirting past the marriage issue.

"You didn't answer my question."

Sara tucked an errant curl behind her ear. "I booked Circus Circus and their nanny service for Gily's party. You and Cath will be in the spa during the festivities. Warrick and I will stand watch."

Sara sighed heavily and snapped, "I can handle my own son's birthday party Gil. I'm pregnant not and invalid. What do you think I did before you came in on your white horse?"

Gil thought of the day he had told her he loved her and she hadn't responded. He knew this was hard for her and understood that it was going to take time.

"Ouch."

Sara slumped suddenly. "I am sorry that was uncalled for."

He inched his chair closer. "S'okay, I know I don't have the best track record."

She put her hand over his mouth. "Please stop saying that. Please…"

He nodded. He understood that references like that reminded her of when things had been difficult between them.

He kissed her finger tips. "I talked to Bishop O'Neal today."

She savored the feel of his mouth on her hand. "Why?"

"To see if he could expedite my annulment."

"I didn't know you were getting an annulment."

"I knew you wanted to marry in the church. It was supposed to be a surprise."

He touched his forehead to hers. Gily called them the aliens when they did that.

She smiled self-consciously. "I just wanted you to know that I was a good wife."

"Sara Sidle…I know you don't want to talk about this but I need you to hear me say this. I made a terrible mistake five years ago. I was a coward, frightened of the control you had over, the lack of control I over myself. It was everything I expected and everything I was afraid of. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and Gily."

He kissed her softly. "What do you say we go look at rings?"