Author's note: Thank you all soooo much for your reviews! You are all way too kind and I don't deserve such nice comments! I was intending to keep you hanging for a while with the proposal thing but I had this written a while ago and I thought I might as well post it! I hope it's not too long – please tell me if it is! Thanks again for reading what I have so far.

Chapter Seven

The dress fit like a dream. It was snowflake white and I couldn't help but smile at all the fancy embroidery, the little silk ruffles and wide puffy sleeves that made this wedding dress so elegant. I smiled over at my Elli and she looked back at me apprehensively. I could tell that she was worried and I wanted to tell her that it would be alright but I couldn't open my mouth. I was just amazed into silence by that dress. At times I had doubted this time would ever come. But finally, finally, it was within touching distance. My best friend was getting married in two days time and she looked amazing. She looked back from my bedroom mirror in which she had been gazing at herself, threw back her short, light brown locks and raised her eyebrows questioningly at me. I knew that if I didn't tell her what I thought soon she was going to go insane.

"El, you look amazing. You look like... You look like I always dreamt you would look on your wedding day."

She blushed and placed a hand on her hips. "Are you sure it's not too showy? Malcolm was never one for showy girls." I smiled at the way she still got embarrassed at saying her fiancé's first name instead of just "the doctor" like she had done before their engagement and squeezed her shaking little hand.

"He'll love it and if he doesn't then he's either blind or stupid and if you know him well enough to be on first name terms with him now, you should know that he isn't any."

"Oh I just worry so much Mary." She squeezed my hand in reply. "The girls in the city are wearing their dresses so much simpler now and I don't want to look like an old fashioned fright. I want everything to be perfect. I've been waiting for so long..."

"And it will be perfect. Have I ever lied to you? You know that I would say if I thought you didn't look nice."

"I know, I know. Oh god, I'm sorry. I do go on about silly things, don't I?"

"No." I was helping her out of that beautiful frock that she had spent so many hours slaving over her sewing machine to produce. "You'll be telling all of your worries to the doctor soon anyway."

"No I won't... Well, of course I will. But what we have will still be the same, you know, it didn't change when you and Jack were still together...." A look of horror passed over her face. "Oh I'm s..."

I frowned. "I don't want to hear you apologise for that. Yes, we were together. You're allowed to mention it."

"I'm s..." She giggled, covering her hand with her mouth. "Old village customs die hard, I suppose." She was back in her blue dress now, perching on the end of my bed. I sat myself down next to her and smiled. I had told her everything about the incident with Jack and she hadn't made much comment about it so far. I suppose it was a very complicated thing for me to get my head around let alone an outsider like Elli. I was waiting for her input though and I think she knew that and that was why she was being so careful about what she said. I wished she wouldn't but that was Elli for you. "What are you wearing for your date tonight then?" She asked, grinning mischievously.

"It's not a date." I repeated for about the twelfth time. "There's nothing going on between me and Gray."

Her face turned serious. "Are you going to return the blue feather?"

I gazed at the wooden box that stood on my dressing table and fiddled with the end of my dress. "I have to. I care about him but I don't love him. It's so hard because he's going to be hurt."

"Do you think... Do you think it might be possible that you could learn to love him?"

"Well... Um... I don't really know. I never really thought about it. All I've known is Jack. I've never had any other relationship and everything happened so quickly with him."

"It doesn't mean it always has to be that way." She was sitting up straight now, looking hopeful. "Look at.... Popuri and Kai. We all know Popuri was head over heels from the word go but Kai wasn't always so keen. He just saw her as a silly little girl to begin with and look at them now! They're so happy!" Elli had always been a hopeless romantic and she was fascinated with Popuri and Kai's relationship. She found the idea of them running off together and coming back the next year married with a baby on the way a great reason to swoon.

"Yes but Gray and I are friends and I can't see anything more. Besides Jack..."

"Is with Karen." Elli said, a deep frown on her lips. "I know you love him Mary but oh god, I'd do anything to stop you being hurt again and I know he will hurt you. You know I'm always willing to give people second chances but they have to earn it. What has he done except play on your emotions? Make you mixed up and confused? He might say he loves you but the end of the day love is about staying together. Not running off as soon as things get hard. And Gray... I know he's a little cold but he can be so sweet when he wants to be. He loves you and I know he'd make you and Charlie so happy."

I stared at her, shocked at this little outburst that she had obviously been keeping back over the last few days. She put her arm around my shoulders. "I'm sorry Mary but that's the way I feel. It's what you feel that matters obviously."

"I can see exactly what you are saying but I still love Jack." I held back heavy tears, I couldn't cry again. I couldn't be pathetic little Mary who cries everytime it's real feeling time. I had to trust myself to be strong. I had to. "I love him so much and I just can't let him go. Not yet."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Well, first things first I'm going to sort things out with Gray." I glanced at the clock. It was almost three 'o' clock. "Speaking of which, if I don't go now I'm going to be late." I kissed Elli's powdery cheek. "Thanks so much for your advice, I promise I'll think about what you said."

I fetched the blue feather from the box and slipped it into my pocket. Then glanced at my reflection in the mirror.

"Mary..." Elli came up behind me. "I love you. Please don't let yourself get hurt again."

I smiled weakly and hugged her tight. "Have fun preparing for your wedding. Maybe I'll speak to you tomorrow. Isn't it the tomato festival?"

"Yes..." She said, laughing gently "Please come and join our team, Mary. I need some help with Stu. He always gets carried away!"

"Of course I will. Now you know that Mum's going to waylay you and force you into staying for dinner on our way out, don't you? I'm going to try and slip by unnoticed. Will you help me?"

"What are friends for?" We laughed together and linked arms as we went downstairs together. I wondered what I would do without Elli in my life. I grimaced at the thought of getting through the past year without her support. But more than that I enjoyed the laughs we had together, the little secrets and jokes that nobody else would even begin to understand. It was only since we moved to Mineral Village that I knew, really knew, what I was missing out on at school where everyone had their select little twosomes and groups apart from me.

I got away from Mum safely, largely due to Elli acting engrossed in the cookery books that Mum was waving in front of her and promising to tell her all about the wedding arrangements. It was a lovely afternoon, golden in the setting sun and I would have enjoyed being out at the beach if it wasn't for the prospect of the looming hurt I was about to cause. I settled myself in the sand and looked out at the ocean before me. The sun cast sparkling diamonds on the clear blue water and the ghost-like boats were too far away to ruin the romantic picture. Kai and Popuri, back for the summer to visit Lillia and Rick at the chicken farm, were sat on the very edge of the pier. One of his arms was draped across her back, the other placed protectively on her developing stomach. When he turned his head his chocolate eyes had a glow to them and when Popuri pressed her little nose up to his she looked so happy that I could feel it from where I was sitting. They were whispering as softly as the waves and I longed to be Popuri, to feel her happiness and her love and have everything so simple, a life ahead full of excitement and experience.

I sank my feet further into the sand and tried to draw my head away from them. I had to think about more serious things like how I was going to give the blue feather back to Gray while hurting him as little as possible which was almost unachievable but needed to be thought about anyway. But it was no good, my mind couldn't be dragged into the gloomy present instead it lingered in the hazy past where life was as sweet as the golden shadow that the setting sun was weaving upon us and love was as simple as you made it. Love was innocent, fresh and new and it could do anything. Make me walk on water if I so wished.

I remembered, it was the swimming festival. The second year after myself and my family moved to the village and I had been dreading it ever since the last days of spring came upon us and when Jack came around talking about it the day before, I didn't know how to tell him that I felt so badly about it. In the confusion of a first relationship you want to make sure that your partner isn't going to leave you as swiftly as he's found you, so you do and think stupid things. You panic over not having something in common with them, the slightest disagreement of opinions will make you nervous. Jack seemed so excited about the swimming festival. He was entering in the competition and was desperate for me to go along and watch him. I should have told him straightaway that I had a problem with it and couldn't go or maybe even made up that I was ill to get out of it if need be. But instead I went along with it. I told him I'd go along and watch him in the race and I pretended to be excited whenever he prompted me.

I didn't get to see him just before the race because everyone was busy warming up and I stood on the shore and I was shaking and breathing heavily, all the time hoping, praying, that nobody would notice how worked up I was getting. Everyone's got a sharp eye in the village and the slightest bit of strange behaviour can cause all sorts of rumours, especially at festivals. I had always tried to avoid the beach before and standing there the wild, reckless danger of the sea made me want to run all the way back to the safety of the library where I could bury myself in a book or writing a story and forget all about it. I stayed however. I stayed for Jack.

I couldn't look during the race. I stared at my shoes and hoped he didn't look up at me to see if I was cheering him on. I could hear the splashing of the water and that was enough. I gathered that Kai had won from all the commotion they were making over him and then there was a prize giving. After that everyone started leaving and I was anxious to get going too but Jack made a big deal over drying himself until it was just us two left on the beach.

"Ah..." He sighed happily and shook back his dark hair. "I just love swimming in the sea. Don't you?"

"Um..." I clutched handfuls of my dress and released them. Please let's just go. Please let's just go.

"I know..." He grabbed hold of my hands. "Lets go for a swim now, just you and me. It's really nice when it starts to get dark."

"Well... Er... Aren't you tired after the race? You were going really fast." I could feel my heart thudding. I had to get away from that open water.

"No way. I could swim all night. Come on, it'll be fun."

"I can't see well without my glasses." I blurted, trying to avoid his eyes. He was quiet for a moment.

"What's wrong?" He asked me, "Why don't you want to come swimming with me?"

"N... Nothing."

"I know there is. Tell me."

I looked up into his eyes. I knew I couldn't lie anymore then. Those blue eyes got me every-time.

"I've got a fear of water." I admitted, blushing.

"A fear of water? Why? You seemed so keen before."

"Because... I didn't want to tell you. A long time ago someone pushed me into some water. They knew I couldn't swim and left me there to drown. I nearly did. Except a lifeguard spotted me in trouble and got me out."

At first he looked soft like he was going to hug me then his wet body stiffened and his face turned hard. "Who?"

"I don't want to talk about it. It was a long time ago."

"Mary..."

"Please, just not now." I could feel myself about to start crying and I think he could sense I was about to as well. He pulled me into a hug and held me there. He felt warm and safe despite the freezing cold droplets of water on his bare skin and even with there being an ocean just a few metres away from me, I relaxed and held him back. When we let go of each other he gave me a soft kiss then stroked my hair and tweaked my chin.

"One day," He said, "I'm going to teach you how to swim. You can't stay frightened forever 'cos of what some sick person did to you."

"Oh Jack..." I couldn't say anything accept press my head into his chest, squeeze his hands and hope he knew what I meant.

The past faded into the present and once again I was sitting on the beach with the sand digging into my skin and a horrible clingy feeling in my stomach. The world had gone turquoise in the twilight and the only trace of Kai and Popuri was a pale pink scarf and an empty drink bottle lying on the pier. I wondered, panicking, what time it was. It must be gone seven and still I had not met with Gray. But I cold sense someone near me and hear a snuffling sound. Was it him? I turned but it wasn't Gray I saw...

It was Jack! He stood, in overalls dirtied with soil and sweat, looking at me, his eyes less intense in the pale early evening and I saw a big round tear trickle down his cheek. I longed to reach out to him, or just to say something, but I was sure that this must be some kind of hallucination. It couldn't have got so dark so quickly and why hadn't Gray turned up? And besides Jack never cried. Did he?