A/N: Welcome back. Now that we've seen how twisted my story plots can be, let's continue! Yay! All aboard for fun and wackiness!!

To clarify, my good friend Breck, these people have chosen early retirement. And erm, to whomever you called...well, you know, the Celeborn thing..erm, sure. And watch it when you bad talk my Faramir. Yes, you fools out there, MY FARAMIR!!!

Chapter Two: Of Jenny Craig and Drunken Hobbits

"Hello! Welcome back! If you remember, everyone lives in a big apartment complex and two people love the wrong person. Grima has a few words, though. Grima?" Paul says, looking all cheerful and happy.

"What did I tell you? Don't be happy. Go fall in a hole. What? Oh, yeah. Well, I have an announcement. To Sane Sanitarians, we are NOT roach infested! Got it, you punks?? Good. Ok. Whoo-hoo." Grima says emotionlessly.

"Thanks, Grima! Now, we'll see what our Hobbit Friends are doing! On with the soap opera!" Paul says cheerfully.

In Room 27, Floor 7...

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF???" Frodo screams. He is wearing a shirt that says, 'I hate Rings' and jeans.

"We isss sssorry, massster." Gollum says, coming in, wearing what he always does.

"No. You always leave your stuff lying around! You leave your half eaten fish on the carpet and I have to pick them up! It's wrong!" Frodo yells.

"Sssorry, good, kind massster. Nice hobbitsssesss. Preciousss massster." Gollum says, hugging Frodo's knees.

"Uh, eew. No." Frodo says, jumping on top of a chair.

"Where isss the fat one, massster?" Gollum asks.

"He went to Jenny Craig. He left for there from Weight Watchers."

"Jenny Craig? Yesss, we knowsss Jenny Craig. Ssshe dated usss once. Ssstood usss up, too. Evil Jenny Craig that ssstood up and ditched poor Smeagol." Gollum says.

"Uh...?"

"Weight Watchersss, my love? Yesss, fat one needsss it. He needsss a workout." Gollum hisses.

"I'll say."

"Good Smeagol will picksss up hisss messsesss. Yesss, kind massster." Gollum says, walking over to a pile of fish.

"Nasssty Rangersss hurtsss usss!" Gollum says.

"What?"

Just then, Faramir walks in.

"CRUEL LEADERSSS OF EVIL RANGERSSS!!" Gollum screams, trying to attack Faramir.

"Aii! The freaky one!" Faramir says, jumping on a chair.

"Sit, Smeagol. I said SIT! No fish if you don't!" Frodo says.

"Alright, KIND massster." Gollum says, sitting on the floor and munching on raw fish.

"Carry a grudge, why don't you?" Faramir asks sarcastically.

"We isss doing that, preciousss, my love." Gollum hisses at Faramir.

"That was sarcasm. And eew, to that other thing you said, just eew." Faramir says.

"What can I do for you, Faramir?" Frodo asks.

"Got any whipped cream?"

"Sure!" Frodo walks off to get the whipped cream.

"How's your life?" Faramir asks, still standing on his chair.

"Dismal, once again." Frodo says, rummaging through the fridge.

"Mine is the life from hell." Faramir says, his voice cracking.

"Aww, don't worry!" Frodo says, returning with the whipped cream.

"Thanks, Frodo. See you at the party!" Faramir says, giving Gollum the Look of Death and walking out.

Meanwhile, in Room 33, Floor 7...

"Merry!!!" Pippin screams, tossing an empty beer bottle at the wall. He is wearing a shirt that says, "Ernil I Pheriannath" and black jeans.

"Wha, Pip?" Merry asks, swaying slightly. He has a shirt on that says "Esquire and Proud" and jeans.

"Are you drunk?" Pip asks, showing a small bag full of empty bottles to Merry.

"Why, /hic/ yes, I am! /hic, hic/" Merry says, looking drunk and swaying.

"Merry, perhaps you should go lay down." Pip says, steering Merry to a couch.

"Why, thank /hic/ ye, /hic/ Pip! /hic/" Merry says, collapsing onto the couch and falling asleep.

A/N: Well, this chapter brought to you in part by The Sunny Acres Poker Club, helping you to gamble. Because I have little to do in this wonderful summer, a new chapter will be up soon!! Yay! Constant upgrades! Next, we'll see what happens to Eowyn, and what happens when Theoden gets reincarnated? Stay tuned!