DISCLAMIER: I don't own anything, this all in fun.

As I was inspired by work, it seems only fitting to title this:

Ye Old Swimming Hole

Enjoy.


Torrid, fiery, blistering, scorching, red hot, roasting, piping hot, sizzling, white hot.

What do all these words have in common? A heat factor. Not just any heat factor, a high, unbearable heat factor. In the last week on Atlantis it seemed like summer had touched the city, and not in a nice way.

People all around the city were grouchy, and McKay, well, one could just imagine; which is why John Sheppard had opted to steer clear of the Astrophysicist. McKay at room temperature was already almost too much to deal with.

The heat was definitely getting to people. Not only that, but it was the worst kind of heat. Not the kind that drenched a body with sweat and odor, but the kind that choked you, made your lungs feel burned and shriveled.

John had had cotton mouth before, but this heat was doing something else. He liked to think of it as 'perpetual unquenchable thirst followed by many a pee break'.

Deciding that the heat was going to get him too, if he didn't do something, he'd come up with three remedies to such an obtrusive heat.

Remedy One: Loss of Clothing, in this order – shoes and socks, shirt, and pants. Underwear were to remain on, removed only as a last ditch effort and when alone.

Remedy Two: Go for a walk, outside, in the breeze.

Remedy Three: Bring your second in command, because if you black out he'll drag your sorry ass somewhere.

He smiled in pride as he thought about his own home made remedies for heat. He, himself was currently practicing remedy number one. Although substitute underwear for swim trunks. Why? He hadn't been sure when he'd packed them, but he figured there had to be some place they could go for a quick dip, and hey, he was right, they were surrounded by ocean.

Remedy two and three weren't a problem. He'd radioed Ford and was going to meet him only minutes from now.

He wondered if all the summers were like this. How did the Ancient deal with that? And why didn't their windows open, or better yet why wasn't there at least one transporter located near a balcony? That would have made his walk so much easier.

Finally he reached his destination, and a shirtless Ford stood waiting. He must have heard about John's remedies, though he still had shoes on.

"Aiden."

"Sir."

"John."

"What?"

"Call me John."

"Yes Sir." John glanced at the younger man as they left the steamy interior of Atlantis. Hadn't he just said to call him John? Ford smiled at the man and shrugged. Old habits die hard, and the military is a stickler for protocol.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Aiden asked, "Sir, why exactly am I here? Not that I mind it, I just was curious."

"Honestly? I figured if I died out here in this heat, I'd need someone to drag me back." He put his hand on the man's shoulder, "And who better to do that then a friend?"

Ford smiled, "Yes sir."

Ok, enough was enough, "Lieutenant Ford, welcome to Atlantis. I'm Major John Sheppard, ranking military officer of this here fine city, and as such, I must insist you drop the 'Sir'. Call me Sheppard if it makes you feel better, but no more 'Sirs'."

"Yes…" what could he say? It didn't feel right to call him Sheppard, and Major would be just like saying sir, "Ok."

"Right."

Everyone knows that heat rises, so when John had requested that Aiden walk with him, he had picked a lower lying area. They weren't out on any of the piers, just walking lower balconies around the control tower. Closer to the sea, closer to a clean breeze, that everyone so desperately wanted to feel.

They had been walking for what felt like hours, probably due to the heat, when in reality it had been only forty five minutes. Eventually they reached the area where the control tower met with the ground and splintered off into each respective pier they had come to know. There were many unexplored areas of the city, and those that had been explored still held things that were so completely beyond the humans that they simply let those object stay where they were for the time being.

Ford and Sheppard had just stumbled on to such and item, though it had clearly been left for other reasons. The biggest being it was attached to the side of the tower.

"What is that?" Ford asked.

"Like I know." Sheppard answered. Sometimes he felt like people expected him to know everything just because he had the ATA gene in spades.

"Touch it."

"What?" John looked over to his second in command, "You want me to touch it? What if it cuts my head off or something?" he regarded the man with playful eyes, "You don't have some scheme to become Atlantis' number one head military honcho, do you?"

"No Sir." He laughed, "John." He corrected.

"Good job Ford, caught it all on your own."

"I try. So are you gonna touch it?"

He looked back over at the device. What could it do? There were no doors to near by to open. There was only the platform and the ocean about thirty feet below.

"Sure. What the hell." McKay would have a fit if he knew what John was about to do. He placed his hand on the small panel and it lit up blue, like everything else. They both looked down the side of the building; he could swear doors had opened somewhere. No sooner had it begun than the noises stopped. He lowered his hand, slightly disappointed. "Huh. Well…that sucks."

Ford shook his head in agreement; he had hoped something would happen, something that might have cooled them off. He turned around, ready to continue their walk.

"Whoa." He said. John turned, and they both stared in amazement. Walking over to the outer wall, they looked over into the ocean.

"Sweet." John said.

"Ma-John." Ford laughed, "I think McKay should see this." He had a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Sheppard was right there with him.

"Oh yeah…and Teyla." They smiled at each other, walked over to the panel and John placed his hand back on it, repairing what he'd done only moments earlier. They headed back to the control tower, in search of their teammates.

Finding McKay hadn't been all that difficult. It was like playing "Where's Waldo?" only Waldo never went anywhere, he always stayed in his lab.

"What do you want Major?"

Oh how John had been right. McKay plus heat equals not good.

"We want you to come with us. We have something to show you."

"And that would be?" McKay questioned, wiping sweat from his face.

"Isn't it your job to tell me that?" Sheppard asked. If he couldn't reason with the man, he could always insult his intelligence.

"Incase you haven't noticed, I have a lot of important things to be doing, and if your little, whatever, was important someone might have looked at it."

"Someone is going to look at it."

"Well it won't be me."

"Come ooooooonnnnn…." He smiled; he knew it was getting to the man.

"Yeah come on McKay, we're gonna get Teyla and head down there." Ford added.

"Think of it as a break. I mean, this stuff isn't going anywhere." John said, "Look I'll…tell you about the quarters we saw before we found old Weir."

"And after I see your little thing you'll leave me alone?"

"Sure."

"Fine, but it better be fast."

The heat must have been somewhat muting the words, it sounded like McKay had just caved. John and Aiden smiled, "Oh yeah, it will be don't worry."

Finding Teyla was just a touch more difficult, she wasn't on radio. John thought maybe she'd gone inland today to be with her people. For a moment both John and Aiden's hopes had gone. They really wanted to get them both, but McKay alone should prove to be enough entertainment.

They were talking the next five minutes to find her, and if that showed up nothing, so be it. McKay would have to be enough. The cafeteria was their last stop, and there she was sitting at a table by herself, instant cold compress held to the back of her neck.

"Teyla!" Sheppard called to her, she didn't look at all happy when she turned to them, but that didn't stop her from trying to smile, "We, uh, want you to come with us to see this thing."

"What thing?" she asked, the heat had gotten her too.

"Come on Teyla, you'll love it." Ford said.

She blinked slowly, and seemed to contemplate it. She'd have to move, and that meant the heat would be new and hot where ever she went.

"Bring your ice pack." She gave the Major a look, and did the raised eyebrow thing, only now seeing he wore nothing but a pair of what she'd heard called 'trunks'.

"Very well." She said, getting up from her seat. She was very unhappy. Heat sucks. That on top of what John figured was probably 'that time of the month', were bound to make misery. He paused in his thought process; did Athosians have that time of the month? He stopped his mind again; did he really want to be thinking about this?

He shook his head, as he and Ford lead the other two to their new gizmo.

Once the reached the platform where the two men had been earlier McKay walked to the wall.

"This is it? You drag me all the way down here in this heat for…I sunburn easily. You better hope this doesn't cause any permanent damage. Skin cancer is no laughing matter."

John rolled his eyes, "Stand over there. You'll love it." He ushered his two friends back, toward the outer wall. He stood Teyla and McKay side by side.

"What are you doing?" McKay asked, annoyed,

"Seeing who's shorter." Sheppard said with a grin. McKay swatted his hand away. Once he decided Teyla should stand in front of McKay so they'd both see, Ford made sure they were in place and John walked over to the panel.

"I can't stand here, it's a giant groove."

"McKay, shut up and watch."

John placed his hand back on the panel, and again swishing sounds could be heard. He turned to watch the scene unfold. The back wall that the two stood in front of slipped back, and over, disappearing. The groove in which they stood, sloped down to connect seamlessly with a long slide like structure, and in an instant the two were gone; shouts of surprise echoing up after them.

Sheppard and Ford raced back to the wall, to watch as their friends came to a stop in a large swimming area. A wall had risen up from the sea far enough to keep what ever lived in it out, and the device Ford and Sheppard had found opened a slide to the area, it was probably something that had been installed for the kids. Stairs raced from a platform that sank about a foot into the pool, up to the platform where John and Aiden still stood.

"Sheppard I swear to God, I'll have your ass for this!" McKay shouted.

"After you Ford." The young Lieutenant smiled and sent himself flying down the slide, John hot on his tail.

After McKay had spent a few minutes trying to catch and dunk the Major, and for his efforts he was only dunked himself, he gave up and decided to enjoy the cool water he swam in.

The four had a pretty good time. They introduced Teyla to some of Earth's fine water activities. Chicken fights (in which John had got stuck with McKay, and consequently lost every match), Marko Polo, Sharks and Minnows.

They spent a good deal of time in the ancient pool. Sooner or later they would have to tell the rest of the expedition, it was only fair.

But, John thought, bring on the heat.


Ha, I don't know I've had that in my head for awhile, I lifeguard so I figured a pool story wouldn't be out of the question. Let me know what you think!