AUTHOR'S NOTES: Just wanted to say thanks to a few people. A major thank you to my wonderful beta Lucy! I would be completely lost without you! Also a huge thank you to Simone, you saved the day. And last but not least to the nice reviewers and of course to everyone who read the story! =) Ok, I shut up now! =) Have fun reading!

Chapter 3 - Why did she have to come back this way?

Standing in front of the doors to the ICU I debate whether I should go in or not. I really have the urge to see her, to see the woman I gave all my love, but on the other hand she might be a stranger for me. I wonder if she still looks like the Abby I used to know or still is the Abby I used to know.

Finally I open the door and step inside. I always hated being up here. Trying to be as quiet as possible I go and search for her. It doesn't take me to long to find her bed. "Dr. Abigail Majorie Lockhart" it says on the chart. I slowly walk towards her. What a horrible sight. All those machines and tubes, all those bruises on her face a dressing covering her head.

But besides all that things she looks exactly like the day she left. Her hair has still the same color as far as I can tell and her face doesn't look any older. It's so hard to see all this. I don't want to see anymore of it, but on the other side I can't stop looking at her.

Seven Years Earlier

The smell of peaches fill the smooth spring air. Abby just got out of the shower. I can't get enough of this smell. Everytime it gives me the butterflies again.

"You're driving me nuts," I say to her smiling, entering the bedroom where she is dressing herself up. She picks the cute red shirt that I gave her for her birthday and laughs at me, "Good to know!" Then she slips into the shirt and I'm speechless. She just looks so hot in it. It's hard to stay calm. I come closer to her and place my arms around her waist to sneak a kiss.

We kiss passionately and I don't want to stop ever. Then we look deep into each others eyes dreaming. She's got the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They've got this sad look in it and I always wonder if they just look that way or if she's really sad.

"I love you!, I say to her.

She smiles, "I love you too!"

"Want to get something to eat?", I ask her and she nods. We go to the kitchen to get everything ready for breakfast.

"I'm going to get some rolls,", she says.

I shake my head, "You don't have to. I can go. You better enjoy our day off."

But she insists on going, "No really, I want to go. I'd love to get some fresh air!"

I can't help but let her go since she wants to go so much. She kisses me good-bye and I watch her take her wallet leaving the house, leaving me... forever.

I remember it all so well. It was the last time I saw her. Leaving to get some rolls she left me forever. I never got to know why she did it. Nobody could tell me, they were all shocked. She never sent me a sign.

First I thought that something must have happened to her. I searched for her in every single hospital in Chicago without success. Then I thought that she must have been kidnapped or something and went to the police, but they couldn't help me either. I was so worried about her that I didn't accept the most reasonable answer for a long time: She left me.

And now seeing her laying here it all comes back to me. "Abby, what happened?", I whisper looking at her, but I don't get any answers. Maybe she doesn't hear me or maybe she does. "Abby. Damn it, what happened?"

I can't fight my tears anymore and start to cry. Why did she have to come back this way?

I take her hand and stroke it carefully. Her skin still feels as soft as always. "Honey, please wake up.", I cry, "Please. This can't be it!"

"John." I hear a familiar voice say and turn my head. It's Susan. I nod at her and she gets herself a chair to sit without really looking at me or Abby.

We don't say anything for a minute or so. "You know," I start, still with tears in my eyes, "It has always been my wish that she comes back, but it was also my biggest fear. And now..." I'm not able to continue, sobs passing through my body.

"It's okay John." I feel Susan placing her arm on my shoulder, "I understand what you mean." Suddenly she also starts to cry, "I lost my best friend when she left. And I still ask myself what I did wrong so that she didn't tell me what was bothering her so much that it made her leave. Why I couldn't be there for her when she made the decision to go? And now," she continues, "Now she's back throwing even more questions into the room." She pauses to wipe a few tears away, "I don't know what to think right now. I'm sad to have to see her this way. I feel angry, because seeing her brings everything back to me, but I also feel a little bit relieved that we got the chance to see her once again."

I just nod again and we both go back into silence. I know exactly what Susan said to me and it is even harder to take as time goes by.

After a while Susan gets up stroking over my back, "C'mon John, you really need some rest." But I just look at her and shake my head. I can't leave, not now. "You won't do her a favor staying here this way, besides she isn't going anywhere anytime soon."

Finally I go with her. Maybe she's right. I do feel tired, although I don't want to go and sleep.

"Did someone tell Joanne about Abby yet?" I ask Susan while we're on our way back down to the ER.

"I don't know, maybe not, because it's late now. But I'm sure that they will do tomorrow."

"I see," I say, "It's so strange imagining Abby being her mother, don't you think?"

"I don't know what to think." Susan answers.