Chapter 3

It had been a long 2 months of sitting in the hospital getting healthy enough to go home, and finally the day had some that John was able to go home and start his rehabilitation therapy.

"Home sweet home", said Kate as she wheeled John into the house. "I got a chair lift built in the back stairway so that you can go up stairs…" started Kate but was interrupted by John. "Where's Phoenix?" he asked. "She's with Philip and Belle, they wanted to take her for awhile so that you'd be able to rest and not have to worry about her while no one else is home", answered Kate.

"You don't think that I'm able to take care of my own daughter. Kate", asked John as he wheeled himself over to the window. "John, you know that's not what I meant. All I meant was that your still not 100 and I don't want to you hurt yourself if something ever happened to Phoenix, and that's why Philip and Belle have taken her for awhile", said Kate as she walked up behind John placing her hands on his shoulders. "Everything is going to be alright, I promise."

The next day, John was at home alone, after having spent three hours at therapy. 'Even with this therapy, the pain is still too much for me…..but I don't want to give up', thought John as he looked at a picture of Belle and Philip. 'I have to be up and walking to walk you down the aisle Izzy'.

Just than, John grabbed the edge of the couch and pulled himself out of his chair, but as soon as he took one step he fell face first onto the floor. "John…oh my god!" yelled Kate as she stood at the door. "Honey are you okay?", she asked as she ran towards John. "I'm fine", he said through the frustration. "Let me help up back up", said Kate as she reached for John. "Don't touch me!" yelled John as he shoved Kate's hands off of him. "John…what's wrong?" asked Kate. "No one thinks that I'm going to be able to walk again..I won't be able to walk Belle down the aisle." yelled John with anger in his eyes. "John, your just going to have to let us help you, that's all and it's going to take time", said Kate as she watched him get back in his chair. "I should've just died in that accident, that way none of this would have happened." "John don't say that, you know that you don't mean it", said Kate as tears began to form in her eyes. "Why couldn't Bo have left me there, why couldn't he just leave me the hell alone", said John in anger. "Please stop talking like this……your going to walk again, your going to walk Belle down the aisle at her wedding and everything will be back the way it was before any of this happened", cried Kate. John looked at Kate with disgust, "God dammit Kate….I may as well give up on everything…I might as well tell Belle to walk herself down the aisle. I'm never going to be able to walk again". Kate walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulders, "You know you don't mean that", she said through the tears. "Yes I do……" started John. "You have to stop this, you will walk again, it's just going to take time, just like everything else", cried Kate. "Kate…I don't have time…..Jesus why can't you see that. You have no idea what I'm going through, or how much pain I'm in…..I just want everyone to leave me alone", he yelled as he turned his back to Kate. "John…" started Kate as she placed her hand on his shoulders. "Get the hell out Kate", yelled John as he turned and slapped Kate in the jaw. Kate held her cheek as she looked at John with tears falling from her eyes. All she could see was the anger in her husband as she her self turned and ran out the door.

John didn't realize what he had done, until Kate had already ran out of the house. 'What have I done….I just hit my wife…….god what am I going to do' thought John.

Sometimes the questions
Seem so hard
Are we growing together
Or falling apart
The ghosts of the past
Have infected our dreams
What's the damage, what's the cost
Are we destined to repeat

I remember at the start of it
Our hopes were still new
Our eyes were wide with innocence
Our hearts were strong and true
We trembled as we fought to keep our
First love alive
When did things get out of hand
How do we survive

Marlena rose from her seat when she heard a knock at the door, 'Who could that be at this hour?"' thought Marlena. Opening the door, she saw Kate standing there with tears running down her face.

"Kate what happened?", asked Marlena as she led Kate into the living room. "John…..John and I got into an argument….he's angry and I don't know how to help him", cried Kate. "Did he do that to you?" asked Roman as he walked into the room and saw the bruise forming on Kate's cheek. Slowly Kate nodded, "Roman, he's not himself….." started Kate. "That's still no reason to be hitting you Kate. I'm going to go over there and talk to him", said Roman as he grabbed his coat and headed out the door.

This love is strong, it will last
It will hold you up when you need it
It will not break, I won't give up
It costs too much and I need you
We circle like opponents
Sparring with the blame

FLASHBACK....

"I love you John" mouthed Kate as she took John's hand in hers. "I now can pronounce you man and wife, ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to give you Mr. and Mrs. John Black." yelled the priest as cheering and clapping began. "You may now kiss the bride". With hearing that John pulled Kate into a long passionate kiss.

'Kate, I love you with all my heart….please forgive me for what I've done', said John aloud and he wiped a tear that had dropped on his and Kate's wedding picture.

"You should maybe wait to see if she comes back to you first John", said Roman as he walked into the house. "Roman what are you doing here and how do you know what happened?" asked John. "Kate showed up at Doc and I's place…in tears John", yelled Roman.

John looked at Roman with his own tears beginning to form in his eyes, "I didn't mean to hit her…" was all John could get out before emotion took over him.

You hold your heart so tightly
To shield you from more pain
But even now sometimes I see
Unguarded in your eyes
That fragile hope that love can win
The willingness to try

"Kate, I know John and I know that he didn't mean what he did. He's angry and feels that the only thing that is going to make him feel better is to push everyone he loves away", said Marlena as she handed Kate some tissues. "I don't know what to do…..he won't let me help him", said Kate as she wiped her tears away. "Keep trying, don't let him push you away…he loves you with all he has and once you show him that your not going anywhere, he'll realize his mistake." "Thank you Marlena", Kate said as she pulled Marlena into a hug.

It's such a complicated thing, it's not easy
I'm here for you, when you need me
We'll fight to hold the ground we've won, please don't surrender
We're not in this alone

"Roman, I don't want to do this alone…I can't do this without her. I need her, she's my life." Said John as he looked into the anger in Roman's eyes. "Than you better realize the mistake that you've made. John you and Kate have been through way to much to just throw your love away like this. When and if she comes back, let her know how much you love and her and let her help you get well again", said Roman as he walked out of the door.

No no
I know we can make it
Keep holding on to our love

"Roman's right, we have been through way to much to just throw it all away", said Kate as she walked into the house. "Kate…", whispered John as he wheeled towards her. Leaning down, Kate placed her hands in his, "John…", she started but was stopped by John placing his finger on her lips. "Kate…I'm sorry for hitting you. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me…I love you with all my heart..you and our daughter are my life and with your help…I will get through this and I will walk again", said John with a smile on his face. "I love you to John", said Kate as she pulled John into a long passionate kiss.