A/N: Hey, y'all! I'm BACK and will be here to tell you...some weird things that happened at the Apartment Retirement Place....
And on to thank the reviewers!!!!
PopcornLeader: Ok...I really wouldn't mind...your day will come...trust me...not just looking lovingly at each other or whatever I said....
crazy-haldir-fancier: Ok, because I'm nice, you can fill out the form. You are the first and last of the late entries, because your...erm, person to date...is funny. Go ahead.
Chapter Sixteen: Welcome to the Jungle!! (No, not the Guns n' Roses song!)
"That party stunk." Boromir says.
"Oh, shut up, you had a good time and you know it!" Pippin says.
"Hey, aren't I around?"
"Oh, shut up, Faramir, no one cares about you and no one ever did."
Silence.
"What...did...you...say?" Faramir asks, very quietly yet none too venomously.
"I said that no one ever cared about you! Not dad, not mom, not even that stupid little girlfriend you have!" Boromir says.
"ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And with this, Faramir jumped on Boromir and seriously tried to strangle him. I'd like to believe he was fighting for my honor, but I know that he's just mad. MAD!!
"Noooooo!!!!!" Pippin says, trying to stop Faramir. But what good is a small hobbit against a will of steel...to kill your older brother?
"Someone get someone!"
"Pippin, that didn't help!!' Boromir says, his voice strained.
"Just...die!!" Faramir says.
Pippin runs out of the room and tries to find Aragorn. What he really finds is...
"Denethor! Come on!!" Pippin says, dragging Denethor into the room where Faramir and Boromir are locked in Death Match Middle Earth.
"ARGH!!!" Denethor says, and upon seeing the sight, attempting to strangle Faramir.
This only leaves Pippin with the option to get someone else. And this happens to be...
"Aragorn! Come on!!"
And when they come upon the scene, Aragorn runs in to strangle Denethor.
"Honestly, if someone doesn't help, they're all going to die!!" Pippin says.
Silence.
"Holy cripes, I'm the only one to save them!" And with that, Pippin ran in with a crowbar to save everyone's lives.
A few hours later...
"Ok, now that everyone's done relaxing their breathing..." Celeborn says, leading the group through a round of yoga.
"I can't feel my shakras!!" says Denethor.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Merry asks.
"Do I even have feet? I can't feel them." Sam asks.
"Now, you should all do the 'downward dog' position..." Celeborn says, demonstrating.
"He can't be serious." Denethor says.
"That's impossible!" Merry says.
"No, it's improbable!" Pippin adds.
"It's the same thing!!!"
"Sorry, Merry."
"Ok, and then wrap your left leg over your left shoulder..."
"How the hell does he do that?"
"He's rubberman!!!"
"Shut UP, Pippin!"
"Sorry, Boromir."
"You know, all this yoga isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"No duh, Captain Obvious!"
"Why does everyone call me that?"
"Uh, Legolas, 'A Diversion'? I mean, even Pippin could have said that!"
"Sor-ry, Ar-a-gorn of the Du-na-dain!" Legolas says, accenting every syllable.
"Wow, Le-go-las Green-leaf!" Aragorn says.
"SHUT it, Aragorn!"
"O-k!"
"And then you breathe out..."
"Why are we doing this?"
THWACK!
"That hurt, Boromir."
"Shut up, Faramir."
"Make me!"
"I WILL!"
"ARGH!!!!" and with that, round two of Death Match Middle Earth began.
"And breathe in..."
"Shut it, Silver Tree!!!"
"That was cold."
"This is stupid."
"ARGH!!!"
"Then LEAVE, LEGOLAS!!"
"DON'T THINK I WON'T!!!"
"Does it get stupider than this?"
"Who asked you, Eowyn?"
"EOWYN!!!"
And lo and behold, Eowyn was doing yoga amongst the whiners and complainers. Faramir and Boromir actually stop fighting at her name.
"Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't around yesterday, I was starting my business!" Eowyn apologizes.
"You're in retirement! You don't work!" Boromir says.
"Wrong! I'm making cash income, and when the lot of you are starving and in the hospital..."
"Like Gollum..." Denethor adds quietly.
"Then I'll be rich and I'll rub it in your faces!"
"That would be the wrong thing to do." Denethor says.
"Ok, whatever. Just look for it. It's a bar and grill, named The Jungle." Eowyn says, handing out cards.
"Coupons!"
"The twenty second buffalo wing is free!" Eowyn smiles.
"When can we go?"
"Well, that's yet to be seen..."
Later, on the phone...
"I need a reservation for...14...on Saturday." Denethor says.
"'K, sir." Someone on the other line says.
Denethor looks at his checkbook.
"Ok, that'll be a 15.95 down payment and a 18.00 fee for parties of 8 or more." The person says.
"So...that's..."
"33.95."
"EEP!!!"
"Sir, are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"Ok, sir, we'll see you on Saturday."
The lady hangs up, and Denethor is left looking at his checkbook in horror.
"How will I ever pay for this??" He thinks, looking at his checkbook.
A/N: Ok, if you've yet to figure out, the people in chapter 13 are going for a date at Eowyn's Bar and Grill. These would be:
Faramir and Mary
Pip and PopcornLeader
Merry and Annabel
Denethor and Orliey
Aragorn and Arwen
Haldir and Galadriel
Sam and Tulip
If you'd like to join in and don't see the name of the person you'd like to date or your name, include that in the review and I'll see what I can do. And, crazy-haldir-fancier and...someone else whose name starts with E and ends with D. No, not Ed, you freaks, there isn't even someone named Ed!
And on to thank the reviewers!!!!
PopcornLeader: Ok...I really wouldn't mind...your day will come...trust me...not just looking lovingly at each other or whatever I said....
crazy-haldir-fancier: Ok, because I'm nice, you can fill out the form. You are the first and last of the late entries, because your...erm, person to date...is funny. Go ahead.
Chapter Sixteen: Welcome to the Jungle!! (No, not the Guns n' Roses song!)
"That party stunk." Boromir says.
"Oh, shut up, you had a good time and you know it!" Pippin says.
"Hey, aren't I around?"
"Oh, shut up, Faramir, no one cares about you and no one ever did."
Silence.
"What...did...you...say?" Faramir asks, very quietly yet none too venomously.
"I said that no one ever cared about you! Not dad, not mom, not even that stupid little girlfriend you have!" Boromir says.
"ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And with this, Faramir jumped on Boromir and seriously tried to strangle him. I'd like to believe he was fighting for my honor, but I know that he's just mad. MAD!!
"Noooooo!!!!!" Pippin says, trying to stop Faramir. But what good is a small hobbit against a will of steel...to kill your older brother?
"Someone get someone!"
"Pippin, that didn't help!!' Boromir says, his voice strained.
"Just...die!!" Faramir says.
Pippin runs out of the room and tries to find Aragorn. What he really finds is...
"Denethor! Come on!!" Pippin says, dragging Denethor into the room where Faramir and Boromir are locked in Death Match Middle Earth.
"ARGH!!!" Denethor says, and upon seeing the sight, attempting to strangle Faramir.
This only leaves Pippin with the option to get someone else. And this happens to be...
"Aragorn! Come on!!"
And when they come upon the scene, Aragorn runs in to strangle Denethor.
"Honestly, if someone doesn't help, they're all going to die!!" Pippin says.
Silence.
"Holy cripes, I'm the only one to save them!" And with that, Pippin ran in with a crowbar to save everyone's lives.
A few hours later...
"Ok, now that everyone's done relaxing their breathing..." Celeborn says, leading the group through a round of yoga.
"I can't feel my shakras!!" says Denethor.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Merry asks.
"Do I even have feet? I can't feel them." Sam asks.
"Now, you should all do the 'downward dog' position..." Celeborn says, demonstrating.
"He can't be serious." Denethor says.
"That's impossible!" Merry says.
"No, it's improbable!" Pippin adds.
"It's the same thing!!!"
"Sorry, Merry."
"Ok, and then wrap your left leg over your left shoulder..."
"How the hell does he do that?"
"He's rubberman!!!"
"Shut UP, Pippin!"
"Sorry, Boromir."
"You know, all this yoga isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"No duh, Captain Obvious!"
"Why does everyone call me that?"
"Uh, Legolas, 'A Diversion'? I mean, even Pippin could have said that!"
"Sor-ry, Ar-a-gorn of the Du-na-dain!" Legolas says, accenting every syllable.
"Wow, Le-go-las Green-leaf!" Aragorn says.
"SHUT it, Aragorn!"
"O-k!"
"And then you breathe out..."
"Why are we doing this?"
THWACK!
"That hurt, Boromir."
"Shut up, Faramir."
"Make me!"
"I WILL!"
"ARGH!!!!" and with that, round two of Death Match Middle Earth began.
"And breathe in..."
"Shut it, Silver Tree!!!"
"That was cold."
"This is stupid."
"ARGH!!!"
"Then LEAVE, LEGOLAS!!"
"DON'T THINK I WON'T!!!"
"Does it get stupider than this?"
"Who asked you, Eowyn?"
"EOWYN!!!"
And lo and behold, Eowyn was doing yoga amongst the whiners and complainers. Faramir and Boromir actually stop fighting at her name.
"Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't around yesterday, I was starting my business!" Eowyn apologizes.
"You're in retirement! You don't work!" Boromir says.
"Wrong! I'm making cash income, and when the lot of you are starving and in the hospital..."
"Like Gollum..." Denethor adds quietly.
"Then I'll be rich and I'll rub it in your faces!"
"That would be the wrong thing to do." Denethor says.
"Ok, whatever. Just look for it. It's a bar and grill, named The Jungle." Eowyn says, handing out cards.
"Coupons!"
"The twenty second buffalo wing is free!" Eowyn smiles.
"When can we go?"
"Well, that's yet to be seen..."
Later, on the phone...
"I need a reservation for...14...on Saturday." Denethor says.
"'K, sir." Someone on the other line says.
Denethor looks at his checkbook.
"Ok, that'll be a 15.95 down payment and a 18.00 fee for parties of 8 or more." The person says.
"So...that's..."
"33.95."
"EEP!!!"
"Sir, are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"Ok, sir, we'll see you on Saturday."
The lady hangs up, and Denethor is left looking at his checkbook in horror.
"How will I ever pay for this??" He thinks, looking at his checkbook.
A/N: Ok, if you've yet to figure out, the people in chapter 13 are going for a date at Eowyn's Bar and Grill. These would be:
Faramir and Mary
Pip and PopcornLeader
Merry and Annabel
Denethor and Orliey
Aragorn and Arwen
Haldir and Galadriel
Sam and Tulip
If you'd like to join in and don't see the name of the person you'd like to date or your name, include that in the review and I'll see what I can do. And, crazy-haldir-fancier and...someone else whose name starts with E and ends with D. No, not Ed, you freaks, there isn't even someone named Ed!