"Really?"
"Yea. I think he and his girlfriend broke up. She was so lovely."
"Excuse me." Joey walked into Chandler's office.
Chandler's head popped up and he stared at Joey. He looked like a mess. His hair was all over the place, he hadn't shaved, his shirt was on backwards, his tie was untied. His eyes were red and puffy and had bags under them. "J... Joe.. Joey?"
"Dude... You ok?"
"I'm.. I'm.. good. How is she?"
"She looks just like you man."
"Oh... So she's doing good?"
"Good? Have you not looked at yourself?"
"... I'm doin pretty good..."
"Look in the mirror man. So what are you looking at?" Joey picked up the picture frame he was looking at. It was a picture of Monica. "What happened between you guys? I mean last time I saw you guys together you were so happy we were so sure you guys would be together."
"She didn't tell you?"
"She hasn't necessarily talked to anyone.. She's said a few words but nothing big."
"Maybe she should tell you.."
"Please man.. tell me."
"I don't want kids.."
"You don't?"
"No."
"Why not?" Joey sat down in the chair across from Chandler.
"I just.. I can't have kids.."
"Why not?"
"Because I just.. I just can't.."
"You infertile?"
"I'm fertile.. I just... I don't want kids.."
"You scared that you're not going to be a good dad? Because I've seen you with Ben... You are so good with him."
"No.. It's complicated.. "
"You want kids.. I know you do.. we all do. We can tell.. You look at kids just like Monica.. you have that look in your eyes.."
"What's up with this look? Am I the only one who can't see it?"
"Why don't you want kids man?"
"Because I don't.." Chandler sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Wanna tell me?"
"No."
"Monica wants kids more then anything.. We thought you two were going to get married.. And let me tell you.. we all approve of you. Even Ross.. he's hard to get approval from.. There's always someone that doesn't like who Monica's dating... but you we all like.. Look man.. just talk to her ok? At least tell her what's up."
"Why are you here Joe?"
"For an aud..." His eyes grew wider and he ran out of the office.
Monica opened the door to her room. Rachel, Phoebe and Ross were sitting on the couch watching T,V. "Hey." They all smiled happy to see her out of her room again. It was the 4th time that day she had been out of her room. Which was progress, "How are you feeling?" Phoebe asked putting a chip into her mouth.
"Better.." Monica smiled making all of them smile. It was the first time they had seen her smile since she and Chandler broke up. "I'm going to go for a walk."
"Where?" Rachel watched as Monica put her coat on.
"Just.. walk around.. I'll be back in a couple of hours.."
"Want us to come?"
"No.. I'm ok." Monica nodded and walked out. She walked for a while and looked out at the empty bridge. She walked over to the rail and looked over. The water was sparkling and beautiful.
"Hey stranger."
Monica turned around and saw Chandler. And then turned back around. "What are you doing here?"
"Came to tell you I love you... besides this is my bridge."
"I don't see your name on it.."
Chandler walked over to the rail and stood next to her looking out. "So what have you been up to?"
"Chandler what do you want?"
"I want you to know that I love you."
"Stop saying that."
"Why? You used to love it when I told you I loved you."
"Well that was when we were going out."
"What if we went out again?"
"I want to get married and have kids.. I'm done with just having relationships.. I want the real thing."
"We are the real thing."
"But you don't want kids."
"I told you Mon.. I can't have kids."
"Why not? Can you not have kids of your own or something?"
"Why can't we drop it?"
"Why don't you want kids? You scared you're not going to be a good father? You tell me why and I'll drop it."
Chandler sighed and ran his hands through his hair. There was a long awkward silence. "I don't want to lose you."
"You already did.."
"Did I ever tell you I've been married before?"
"What?"
"Yea.." Chandler laughed. "I was married for about.. 3 years.. Got married right after high school to this wonderful person.. her name was Cassie. She was beautiful. I loved her.. But after we got married and we started college we began to drift apart... We would constantly fight... we figured we should just get a divorce because we couldn't stand each other after about.. I guess.. a year and a half... But then I had this idea that I thought would keep us together.. I thought that we should.. try for a baby..So we did... She got pregnant and everything was perfectly fine. We still fought but not as much.. And we were fine. But we were more like friends then... husband and wife. Well she went into labor... and everything was great." Chandler smiled as tears began to run down his cheeks. "She passed out... and then I remember the doctor telling me... that I had lost my wife.. and my daughter... It haunted me for.. a couple years. I did that to Cassie.. I killed her.."
"You didn't kill her.."
"I got her pregnant didn't I?" Chandler barley managed to say. "She would still be here if I didn't have that stupid stupid idea.."
"It wasn't stupid.. you were trying to save your marriage."
"I didn't have a serious relationship for a long time.. Just random dates that my friends would set up.. I never thought I'd ever fall in love again.. And then I met you.. You are so perfect and I couldn't.. I love you so much.. I was lost for so long... When I was with you I felt like I found myself again.. And then when you thought you were pregnant.. those 10 minutes of waiting killed me.. because everything came back to me.. everything that you made me forget just... it came back and I... I do want kids.. I want them so much.. but I can't lose you... I don't... I lost myself again.. when we weren't together.. but this time.. I just.. I couldn't.. I..."
"Not everyone dies from giving birth."
"I know... but I'm jinxed..."
"No you're not.. It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was.. It was all my fault."
Monica shook her head and kissed him. "I love you."
"I love you too." Chandler wiped the tears off his cheeks and laughed. "I can't believe I did that in front of you.. I haven't cried in so long.."
"It's good to let it all out." Monica laughed and kissed his cheek.
"I do want kids.."
"I know you do.." Monica smiled and took his hands.
"Want to have kids with me?"
"Yes I do. But we don't have to have them right away."
"Yea.. How about we get married before we have kids?"
Monica laughed. "Sounds good. Was that a proposal?"
"No.. I don't have a ring." He kissed her hands.
"I don't need a ring.."
"Yea you do.. I want to give you a ring.."
"How come you're scared of having kids and not of marriage? I mean I don't want you to.."
"It does scare me... " He grinned and pecked her on the nose. He put his arms around her and looked out at the water. "So we back together?"
"Yea." Monica smiled and wrapped her arms tightly around him.
"Wanna see something?"
"Ok."
Chandler smiled and walked her over to the other side of the bridge. He walked over to a pole and pointed at it.
"Bing bridge?"
"I bought it."
"You bought a bridge?"
"Well I found myself coming out here a lot.. I called it my bridge. One day I bought it.. took very long.. but I managed to get it."
"You're crazy." Monica laughed.
"Well I worked my ass off.. and well.. the money wasn't going anywhere..So I thought to myself.. why not buy a bridge.. and now I have you to waste all my money on." He laughed.
She giggled and kissed him.
Thanks so much for the reviews! Was this alright? I hope so. Please please review!