A/N: I'm BAAAACCCKKKK!!! Missed me, eh? Oh god, I'm sounding Canadian! EH EH EH!! Whatever. I'm back!! Orliey, I will need to know: your fave color and male celebrity (not Denethor or John Noble, so sorry!!) Ok, and now I present to you a bit of insanity though up on my road trip.
Chapter Twenty One: The Trip to Wal-Mart and Please Don't Throw Silverware At Me Denethor.
"Why would I throw silverware at you?"
Silence.
Moving on...
The Apartment People are piled into their cars, the same ones in the same car with the same people! Except Galadriel and Haldir and Sam are in the trunk of Denethor's SUV, not Tulip for some unknown reason.
"Are we there yet?" Merry, Pip, Annabel and Kay ask.
"No. And don't ask again." Denethor says, staring at the road.
The hobbits and their dates grin maliciously.
Galadriel and Haldir are whispering in the back, when...
"EEEEWWWW!!!"
Sam jumps an amazing 5 feet, bashes his head on the roof of the car, and lands neatly on the little inch of seat in the last row of the SUV.
"WHAT??" Denethor screams, nearly veering off the road and receiving a nice chorus of car horns from fellow drivers.
"AAA!!" scream the rest of the people in the car whilst (there I go again) Denethor nearly goes suicide driving.
"Galadriel and Haldir are doing something not PG-13!!!" Sam whines. As proof, a shoe flies over the back seat accompanied by something that looks like tights, and something that looks close to a jockstrap.
"Please dear lord tell me that is not a jockstrap." Kay says.
The offending piece of clothing disappears and everyone forgets that moment.
"My god, you two in the trunk, can't you wait!! This is a car, not a dumpster or a hovel or anything that you'd do that kind of stuff in!!!" Denethor screams, again nearly going off the road again.
Galadriel and Haldir look up from the trunk. Galadriel's makeup is runny and Haldir's hair is disheveled.
"What?" They ask, putting on the innocent act.
"That's not working. Shut up and separate. Five feet apart at all times." Denethor orders.
Everyone is quiet until...
"Are we there yet?"
"GAH!!!"
Meanwhile, in Frodo's Van...
"Ok, let's all sing..." Frodo starts.
"'Without me'!!" Tina says.
"NO!!! Can't we sing 'Stacey's Mom'?" Elrond yells.
"Stacey's mom has got it going on..." Eomer sings.
"Not that song!!" Frodo yells.
"How bout this?" Tina says, putting in Linkin Park.
"This sounds rap-y..." Elrond says cautiously.
"Shut up and enjoy the music!!" Everyone in the van yells.
Meanwhile, with a Tired Mary and a Sugar-High Faramir...
"Are we there yet?" Faramir asks, looking sugar high and excited.
"No." Mary replies, looking at the road.
"Where are we going?"
"Wal-Mart."
"Is that a store?"
"Yep."
"Are we gonna buy stuff?"
"Yep."
"Like what?"
"CDs."
"Anything else?"
"Clothes."
"Anything else?"
"Nope."
"Really?"
"Yep."
The car become eerily quiet and Mary looks at the road and drives a bit faster, zooming along the empty road.
"Mary?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm hungry."
"You just ate!!!"
"That was two hours ago!!"
"Dear sweet Eru, can't you wait? We can go to Panda Express after we shop!"
"Panda Express?"
"It's yummy."
"But I'm hungry now!!"
"Then have some Planter's Trail Mix!"
"Fine!" Faramir says, reaching into the storage area and eating a massive bag of trail mix.
Meanwhile, where Breck and Boromir are...
"Ok, let's try again..."
The two break into a rousing chorus of 'Amore' by Dean Martin.
"Wow, Boromir, for once you were on key!"
"I know. It's all thanks to you."
Breck goes a lovely shade of red.
"Are you blushing?"
"No." Breck says, going even redder if humanly possible.
"Because you're cute when you blush."
Breck blushes even redder, going the shade of a ripe tomato.
"I hope that Wal-Mart's close!" Breck says.
"THERE IT IS!!"
"WHERE??"
"THERE!!!"
And lo and behold, there stands the Wal-Mart!
A/N: Check back for the exciting conclusion to shopping at Wal-Mart, coming soon to a Computer near you!!!