A/N: Much thanks to my friends for helping with the ideas in this chapter, however, most belong to me! So, here's the chapter! Enjoy, enjoy!! Keep in mind this is all a dream...not real...yet...muahahah! Hooray! On a nicer note, we have found Theoden and Gollum dates! So I think Celeborn is still single, if some blonde-elf fancier would like to claim him, and then everyone has a date! LightElf 99 gets Gollum and Dark Borg Drone (DBD, I'm so lazy..) gets Theoden!! YAY!!

Chapter Twenty-Three: How You Don't Want Your Wedding To Denethor To Go...

So everyone is in Vegas and it's 11:30 PM. The conference hall at the local Holiday Inn is decorated nicely, with nice white ribbons, although Mary, Merry, Faramir, and Pippin pushed for black ribbons. Oh, well. So everyone is kind of milling about the hall, except for a few select people in the back rooms...

Bridal Party!!!

"Are you sure about this??" Tina asks, looking at a dress submerged in black liquid.

"Have I ever steered you wrong??" Annabel asks, stirring the mixture with a baseball bat. Yes, this is the infamous pink dress going black!!

"EEP! Where's the stupid lipstick???" Kay asks. "There!" She says, picking up the tube and running out of the room with a camera.

"G chord...F chord...B minor chord...da na na na na na!!!!" Mary says, totally oblivious to everyone else and listening to music very loudly on headphones.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!!" Orliey says.

"I can't believe you talked me into this! You're so dead!!" Eowyn says, adjusting a frilly pink dress.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Someone outside of the room screams.

Groom Party Thing!!

Ok, so now all the men (Is Legolas a man? The question of the century! Hahaha...) are sitting around and looking pale as death and scared. Boromir is even shaking slightly and Frodo is experiencing severe stomachache.

"What time is it?"

"You asked that five minutes ago, Legolas."

"Sorry."

Silence once more, then...

"Pippin!"

"What?"

"Did you just burp?"

"It had to come out!!"

"Did you eat that fifth bean burrito?"

"No, I believe Frodo had it!"

"How many did you eat, Frodo?"

Everyone turns to look at Frodo, who is green in the face and rocking back and forth holding his stomach.

"I...ate...twenty." Frodo moans.

Denethor is pacing around the small room and muttering something in gibberish.

"What? You want me to be the best man?" Boromir yells, looking at the printed up wedding book thing.

"Mutterl givmne sheek." Denethor says.

"I can't understand your private little language, dad." Faramir says.

"I said, 'Well, at least it's not your brother.'" Denethor says.

"Really?"

"Sure as the sky is blue."

"Thanks. I always feel wanted in this family." Faramir says sarcastically.

Suddenly, a knock is heard at the door!

"Hey, Leggy, I've got your makeup!" Someone outside calls.

"Great!" Legolas says, running towards the door.

Legolas opens the door, and there is Kay! She tosses the lipstick at Legolas's face and it leaves a nice red blotch. She then quickly snaps a picture as Legolas stands there dumbstruck and runs away cackling.

"What just happened?" Sam asks.

Later, at the actual wedding...

Everyone is seated in their nice little white wood folding chairs. Mary and her little band, a drummer, bass guitarist and a singer (nope, no singing for me) are tuning up. Mary is wearing a black leather jacket, a white shirt under that, and a plaid miniskirt with knee-high black leather boots with 3 inch heels.

Suddenly, Mary's band, MLB, starts to play some rock music. Down the aisle come the bridesmaids, which are most girls from the Apartments. Arwen, the maid of honor, comes next, followed by Eowyn in a pink dress, looking not too happy, who gets laughs from most in the audience except Grima who thinks he's still got a chance with her.

Then Frodo, the Ringbearer (Ha! He's the Ringbearer...get it??). At the alter is Denethor and Boromir, the best man, and the master of ceremonies, Elrond.

Suddenly, everyone stands up. Down the aisle comes Orliey in a purple gown. Everyone looks perplexed.

"Shouldn't she be in white?" Grima asks.

"Shut up!" Theoden says, punching him in the chest.

Denethor looks a bit confused but shakes his head. Eventually Orliey reaches the alter and everyone sits down.

Elrond, not being one to waste time, cuts to the chase.

"Ok, dude, Denethor, do you take—what's your name?—oh, yeah! Orliey! Do you take Orliey to be your wife or whatever the term is?"

"Sure...yes...whatever..."

"Ok, then. Do you, Orliey take..."

But Elrond gets cut off by an opening door. A person runs down the aisle quickly.

"Orliey, we're late!" The person, none other than Elijah Wood, says.

"Late?" Orliey asks.

"Yeah! We were supposed to get married 2 days ago!" Elijah says.

"Right!" Orliey says.

"What...but...huh?" Denethor says. "Figme nee?" More gibberish.

"Oh I'm so sorry, but I have a previous commitment!" Orliey says.

She runs out the door with Elijah making everyone look rather confused.

"Does this mean I'm not the best man?" Boromir asks.

A/N: There it was! The weird dream! Sorry, had to put it in! Look for more soon! Like really soon!