A/N: Here we are with this enjoyable chapter of the Apartment Complex Story. We're on the road to home, so I can't see why you all won't be happy. And, besides, it's a very Special HALLOWEEN WEEK of updates! That's right, folks, I'll update every day from now until Halloween and give you a Halloween themed entry or something....
Chapter Thirty-Five: On the Road to Home.
In Denethor's SUV...
"Hooray. I can't wait until we get home, then I can stay as Far Away from Boromir as humanly possible." Mary says, shifting in her seat to look out the window.
"Oh, like I'm THAT BAD?" Boromir asks.
"Well, yeah, and you smell like wet dog." Mary says.
"Why does it smell like wet dog in here?" Faramir mumbles in his sleep.
"Well, it's Boromir, for one." Mary says.
"Now, now, he doesn't smell that bad." Breck says.
"Whatever..." Mary says, rolling down the window to get some fresh air.
"I do NOT smell!"
"VAMPIRES!!" Faramir screams, trying to jump out of the seat but being restrained by the seatbelt.
"Dude, you're really scaring me," Denethor says from the front seat.
"Man, I had this really weird dream. I started speaking Latin, then I was dressed in a court jester outfit, and then I was a friar. Tell me, was I ever a friar in a past life?" Faramir says, rubbing his head.
"No. What did you eat before you had a nap?"
"And then I was playing around with dangerous and highly explosive chemicals! Oh, I had a pizza..." Faramir says.
"A whole pizza?" Mary asks pointedly.
"Well, maybe most of it..." Faramir says.
"Most of it?"
"Uh..."
"Are you sure?"
"ALL RIGHT!! I ATE THE WHOLE DAMN PIZZA!! ARE YOU HAPPY?" Faramir screams.
"All right, all right, chill! Man! Besides, you would look very cute in a jester costume!" Mary says.
"Oh, you say that now." Faramir sulks.
"No, really! You'd look cool as a monk, too."
"A FRIAR, Mary!" Faramir says pointedly.
"Sorry. A friar. A very sexy friar."
"You know, friars are men of God."
"But he'd still be sexy in a friar costume."
Boromir gaggs.
"Hey, speaking of costumes, it's nearly Halloween. Are y'all doing anything?" Boromir says.
"I'm sitting on the curb with a large bowl of candy." Denethor says proudly.
"And I'll be there with him." Orliey adds.
"Oh, dressing up, Dad?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna be a groom and she's gonna be a bride." Denethor smugly says.
"Why did I even ask?" Boromir says.
"Well, I'm taking Frodo out trick-or-treating with the other hobbits and their dates." Tina says.
"Are you dressing up?" Frodo says, giving Tina the puppy dog eyes of guilt.
"Well, I was going to go as a princess..."
"COOL, Tina! I'm gonna be a pirate!!!" Frodo says. "We'll look so cute!"
"Uh, sure..."
"Well, I'm dressing up as the grim reaper." Boromir proudly says.
"Don't need a mask, now do you? Your face alone could scare all the little children off the streets." Mary says.
"You're a dead woman, Mary, you're a dead woman." Boromir says.
"Sorry. It was too good a chance to pass up."
"Well, that wasn't even it. I'm going as Van Helsing."
"And I'm going as that girl in Van Helsing." Breck says.
"Wasn't there a love interest there?" Mary asks, raising an eyebrow.
"So? I can't wait to hear what you're going as." Boromir says.
"Well, I'm going as the Phantom of the Opera." Faramir says proudly.
"And I'm going as a gothic princess." Mary says.
"Now how on Earth do those two outfits match?" Boromir snickers.
"Well, because the dress looks just like a regular medieval princess dress, and it's black, so I'm just gonna say that I'm the Phantom of the opera's girlfriend or something." Mary says.
"If that's not creative, I don't know what is." Boromir says sarcastically.
"Yeah? Well, at least I'm not some ugly loser." Mary says.
"Once again, Mary, you're just willing to die." Boromir says meancingly.
"You know, you really like to threaten my girlfriend." Faramir says.
"Well, she asks for it, doesn't she?"
"No, not really." Faramir says.
"And what, pray tell, are you going to do about it?"
"Kick your ass."
"I'd like to see that!" Denethor chortles.
"Yeah? Well you know I can!" Faramir says.
"Sit down, we're in a moving car."
In Frodo's Van...
"All right, now, let's all sing the Hokey Pokey!" Sam says.
Everyone sings unenergetically, in a boring monotone.
"Come on, now, where's the fun in that?" Sam asks.
"Uh, no offense, but I don't think anyone wants to sing. I mean, all the girls are sleeping..." Elrond says, indicating all the sleeping girls.
"Yeah, and my vocal chords hurt!" Eomer croaks.
"Well, then, we'll all just drive in silence." Sam says, flooring the gas and zooming along.
In Mary's Corvette...
"Man, what are we gonna do about the soda??"
"I dunno, Pip, we'll have to tell her!" Kay says frantically.
"Well, you tell her!"
"ME? Was I the one who spilled the soda??"
"No, but you're her friend, and..."
"But you did it!"
"So? You're her friend!"
"You tell her, Pippin! It's not like she's gonna explode from her anger."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
In Boromir's Car...
"So, Haldir, what do you want to do?"
"Uh, sleep?"
"Well, you do that."
So Haldir goes to sleep.
So everyone is movin down the road to the Apartment facility. What will Mary do about her car? How is Pippin gonna tell her? And what about Halloween? Find out next time!
A/N: So, as said, review! And tomorrow's installment will be back at the Apartment. Pretend we just drove really fast or something. Drop me a line!