A/N: I'm back with this story. Yep. To you who asked, Denethor will just pull out another robe or something. Or he'll go buy some clothes. I don't know. I guess he's got like 10 robes or something. We shall see. And forget Elrond's clothes. They look like dresses. DRESSES!! AHHH!!

And, sure, Orliey, you can help in the burning of the Robe. It'll just make it funnier when Denethor finds out...

And another thing (all: SHUT UP!!) I went to get my hair cut, short, like to my shoulders. (All: SO?) When I came back, my FotR watching Room mate looked at my hair, laughed, and told me that if I skipped showers(I shower daily, as if you cared.), I would look like Boromir without the beard. Ok, now that's freaky.

Chapter Thirty-Nine: How to Sucessfully Steal a Robe

In the Hallway outside Denethor's room...

"Ok, you know what to do, right? You and Frodo run in there and get the robe. Make sure it's black and Denethor's. Got it?" Mary says. The 6 who are planning Grand Theft Robe are decked out in black, Pippin in a black turtleneck and black jeans, Frodo in a black cape and a black shirt with black jeans, Mary in a black tanktop (even though it's like, 30 degrees out) and black cargo jeans. Tina is wearing a black sweater and black pants, and Boromir and Faramir are just wearing leather jackets, black shirts and leather jeans (which are black, dur!).

"Pippin, is Boromir in position for the distraction?" Mary says.

"And is Frodo with you?"

"Roger."

"Remember, Rubber Chicken if Denethor's coming. Say it loud. Rubber Chicken! Got it?"

"Check, check, and check."

"All right. Systems are go!" Mary says, as she and Tina look down their own hallway.

"Mary? Er, the wood isn't going to light, it's too soggy..." Faramir says over the walkie talkie.

"Darn! I'll be right there." Mary says, running out to the backyard of the place.

Meanwhile, Tina stays in the hall way, watching for signs of Denethor.

"What's the problem?" Mary asks, arriving at the scene where the robe-burning pyre is to be set up.

"Well, the wood is soggy."

"Did you pour oil on it?"

"Oh. No...I poured water on it..."

"FARAMIR!!"

"IT looks THE SAME!"

"That's ok."

"Hey, guys!" Orliey says, running out towards Mary and Faramir.

"AHHH! I mean, heh heh, h-h-hi, Orliey!" Mary says nervously.

"Hey. You look cold." Orliey says, noting Mary's tank top in 32 degree weather.

"N-n-n-no, I'm f-f-fi-n-n-ne." Mary shivers.

"Uh huh...." Orliey says. "So watcha doing?"

"We're ah, eh, um..."

"We're starting a fire because Mary's cold." Faramir says.

"Sure...so what's this about 'Rubber Chicken if Denethor's coming!'?"

"Shooooooooooooooot."

"Well, since you're about to be my mom, we're burning dad's robe."

"Really?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry."

"CAN I HELP??"

"Sure! We kind of need help with the fire...It's not working for us...rar.."

Orliey quickley lights the match and sets the wood on fire as Mary and Faramir look on in amazement.

"Wow. I'm s-s-s-o c-c-c-c-c-c-cold!!!!" Mary shivers. After all, it's snowing and windy. On their little Island in the Northern Atlantic near to Labrador...I guess.

"Are you ok? Mary, your lips are blue!!!" Faramir says.

"Huh? I c-c-can-n-n't t-t-t-tell."

"Here, have my jacket." Faramir says, tossing his jacket on Mary.

"Huh?" Mary says.

"Jeeze, next she'll get hypothermia and die on us." Faramir says.

"Oohh, fire! Fire fire fire!" Mary says, warming up near the fire.

Suddenly, Pippin, Frodo, Tina, and Boromir emerge onto the scene.

"HEY! It's Orliey! We're busted! Oh shoot." Boromir says.

"Actually, she's helping." Mary says.

"Ok."

"Didja get it?"

"Right here!" Pippin says, proudly revealing Denethor's robe.

"Cool! Toss it onto the fire! Destroy it!!" Mary and Faramir yell, Mary's health recovered miraculosly.

"Ha ha, very funny." Elrond says, emerging from the Garage with Kashmir.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

"Can I help?"

"What, 9 people just to burn a robe?"

"Can't we just destroy it?"

"Well, do it! Put it on the fire!"

"It's....It's...it's my precious. The robe is mine!" Pippin says.

"NO YOU DON'T, you SHORTSTACK!" Mary says, tackling Pippin as the robe goes flying onto the pyre.

"Get off me!"

"Mary, remember about picking fights with little people!" Boromir warns.

Mary and Pippin (He he he! Mary and Pippin...it's like Merry and Pippin! Ok...) get up, Pippin looking shaken at being tackled by Mary.

"That was for my car." Mary says.

"Huh."

"Look at it burn!!!"

"It's so pretty." Mary sighs.

"Mary, you should appologize to Pippin about the tackling."

"Shut up, Boromir, you're next."

"Ok, then."

So the 9 people all watch the Robe of Denethor, Steward of Gondor, Son of Ecthellion, burns to ashes.

"So long, fare well, auf weidersain (spell that right??) good bye...the robe is gone..." Someone sings slowly.

"The clouds'll come out...tomorrow." Mary says.

Pretty soon, the robe is reduced to ash and the fun and enjoyment of burning Denethor's robe is over. Or is it...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY ROBE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Denethor yells, running towards the pyre and sinking to his knees at the sight of his robe.

"What? Don't you have other robes or something?"

"Well, yeah, but this one was special!"

"How so?"

"Er, this is the robe I...ate...chicken...in. Or something."

"No not the chicken!! AHH! RUN CHICKEN!" Mary says.

"Huh?"

"What, you ate chicken with your hands! And it went spechk!" Mary says, doing her best imitation of Denethor cracking the chicken bone in the Return of the King.

"Eew, don't remind me!"

"Nastay!" Elrond says.

"But for all his faults, I still love him." Orliey says.

"And I love you too." Denethor says, as he starts to kiss Orliey.

"EEW! NOT IN PUBLIC!! NO PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION!!!" Mary screams.

"Can't they not get married and save the world a whole lot of trouble?" Tina asks.

"No can do. We've already signed up for marriadge advice lesson things. You know, those sorts of things." Denethor says.

"Oh, god. The world is totally going downhill."

"Next thing we know, Denethor's gonna run for President of the United States." Mary says.

"How'd you guess?" Denethor asks, pausing momentarily from the kissing session.

"Oh, God. I'm moving to Canada!"

"So where do we get change-of-adress forms and how do we get to become citizens of Canada?"

"Don't be such a downer!" Denethor says.

"Coming from the man that said, 'Flee for your lives! We're all gonna die!' that means so much." Mary says.

"I never said that."

"But you were thinking it!"

"Man, do you read minds or something??"

"Er...."

"Anyway, we're getting married in VEGAS really soon! SO YEAH!"

"About that...can we stay at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino? And are we gonna be able to gamble? And are we gonna be able to hit the drinks?"

"MARY! You're only 18!"

"So?"

"Have you no morals??"

"Well, I mean, fake ID goes a long way..."

"MARY!"

"See what kind of woman you're dating? Fake ID's?"

"Relax...I got served alcohol when I was 12!" (and it's true!)

"AND YOU DRANK IT???"

"No...well, maybe a little...a bit...ok, all of it, but it looked like orange juice!"

"Mary, you're disgusting!"

"So are you, Boromir!"

"Relax. I'm sure Mary can pass for a 21 year old. Right?"

"Well, I'd rather not risk it, but I guess!"

"There. Happy?"

"Er, whatever. Mary drunk, now that's a scary thought!"

"HEY! Don't forget...you're next, Boromir, and once I get my sword..."

"Ok, ok...freak."

"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.."

"Anyway, can't we just go? I mean, we all have to go to some paty tomorrow..."

"WHAT?"

"Sorry! I'm sorry, honey, it slipped!"

"Yeah, Denethor and are having a party and you all should come."

"Right. I'll be there. I suppose."

And so everyone learnt of the new party event...and the fact that Denethor's robe was burned, leaving Elrond's garb to be burned, the dressy-ish things...

A/N: Yeah, just leave a review. This cahpter went off the deep end, as usual.