A/N: Well, we had cake in the real world yesterday and kind of bought too much, and now half is sitting in the tiny fridge and taking up all the room. Hmm. Anyway, we'll have a special birthday for Kay on Feb. the 25, if you'd just remind me like a week before, Kay. It takes me forever to write one freakin' chapter! Anyway, today we're gonna burn the robe. Yes, lots of fun!
Yes, Alekey, whe shall celebrate bacause I don't think the apocalypse is coming until after Denethor's wedding (He angered the spirits!!!JK) maybe, but maybe not...and we shall get that ale in sometime. And whenever Gimli comes around, we'll get him to quit. And you will help with the...(check back later for a definate thing to burn and/or destroy!!)
Chapter Forty-One: From "Depression of a Crazy Dress Wearing Elf", verses 1-3 in Haiku Format, told as a Story...
In the Hallway by Lord Elrond's Room...
"All right, Hobbits in position?" Mary asks into the walkie talkie.
"Yep!" Orliey says.
"Tina, Kay, you there?"
"Check and check!"
"Ok, and I'm here with the wood burning crew..."
"CHECK, CAPTAIN!" The men yell in the background.
"Ok...All systems go!"
So the hobbits dash into Elrond's room with Orliey standing guard, and Tina and Kay scour the building for Elrond...
With Tina and Kay...
"Man, I hope LE isn't in his room!"
"Ditto, Kay, maybe he's getting Drunk at the bar!"
"Hey!" So they two run off towards the bar to find...nothing. Well, hotdogfish and Celeborn, but nothing much else.
"Hey, you two!" Celeborn calls, looking happy now that he's got a girl in his life.
"Well, have you seen Celeborn?"
"Hmm, yeah, he just left. He's going up to his room." Celeborn says.
"OH NO!" The two yell, running up the hallway towards Elrond's room.
In the hall...
Elrond is strolling along, whistling a happy tune and wearing something that looks remarkably like a Wedding dress.
"Oh, I'm a happy elf, yes I'm a Happy elf, I sleep all day and I'M A HAPPY ELF!!!"
"Oh, no!!" Tina and Kay say, as they see Elrond walk towards his door.
"HEY!!! LORD ELROND!! ELROND!!!" Kay screams, running up to the happy yet surprised Elf and giving him a hug.
"AHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL, MORTAL?? AHHHHHHH!!!" Elrond screams.
"Elrond, you're my favorite man in the world! Hahaha, you get it?? You're not a man...you're and ELF! Hahaha! You're my favorite ELF in the world! HAHAHA!" Tina says, running towards Elrond.
"Get...off...me!!!" Elrond says.
"But I loooooooooooooooooovvvvvvve you!" Kay says, seeing Pippin, Merry, Frodo, and Orliey run out of the room.
"I though you loved Pippin!!"
"I do! But you're my favorite Elf, and I looooooooooooooooooooooooove you!" Kay says.
"Get off me, please!"
"Do you love me, Elrond?"
"Erm, yes, very much, not really, but get off!"
Meanwhile, outside with the Brothers Mir (Boromir and Faramir), Denethor, and Mary...
"WHAT THE HELL??? WHY WON'T YOU LIGHT, YOU PIECE OF WOOD!!!!" Mary screams, banging the offending piece of wood against the pyre.
"Honestly, Mary haven't you ever set a piece of wood on fire?"
"Well, yeah, but STILL! Is this soggy or something??"
"Here, let me try..." Denethor says.
Suddenly, the wood goes up in flames, leaving Mary to wonder if Denethor has the 'fire touch'.
"Here! We got it!" Orliey, Pippin, and Merry scream, running towards the pyre.
"Good job, men!" Denethor says.
"And women." Mary and Orliey add.
"Very well. Cast it into the fire!"
"Why do I have a feeling someone said this last week?"
"Hmmm..."
"Deja-vu."
"AHHH! NOOOOOO!"
"NO! LORD ELROND! COME BACK!"
"Man, has he lost himself again?" Orliey asks. (remember that?)
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! HOW COULD YOU??? YOU CRUEL, EVIL, MALICIOUS PEOPLE WHO BURN MY ROBES!" Elrond wails.
"Awww, toss it in already!" Boromir says, throwing the entire wardrobe into the blazing inferno.
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"Man, he can really scream."
"So passes the robes of Elrond, the Lord of Rivendell." Pippin says, sounding remarkably like Gandalf.
"Haha, that's just like what Gandalf said when I...oh. Haha, very funny, Pippin." Denethor says.
"I know. Ain't I the greatest?"
"No..." Boromir say.
"You know, no one was asking you. So shut it."
"Ooh, a bit touchy-feely aren't we?"
"Ok, you have no idea how perverted that just sounded."
"BOROMIR'S A PERV!!!"
"Shut up."
"What about my clothes? I have nothing to wear!!" Elrond wails.
"Oh, grow up! Make a diaper out of, I dunno, poison ivy or something."
"What about rash?"
"So?"
"Nyah nyah nyah!"
"Whatever, you losers. I can just go to Kohls and get more clothes! I LOVE SHOPPING!!" Elrond screams, running out.
"Maybe burning the stuff wasn't that good of an idea. I mean, with Denethor he had more, but now Elrond's gotta buy more stuff. We've created a monster!"
"BAAAAAAAAA!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAA!!"
Everyone jumps a foot in the air and turn. To their surprise (or horror??) they see Denethor's pet goat, who he affectionately named Louis.
"Louis! Shame on you, sneaking up on us like that! Don't make me turn you into a shish-ke-bab!"
"Whoa, bit harsh on the goat there..."
"Now, run along to the special goat pen I made for you!"
Louis runs off, baaa-ing happilly all the way. Hey, goats baa too, not just them sheep.
"Look! This is the goat pen I made for Louis! He's going to have a woman friend soon, and their little children can frolick among the flowers for hours and hours!"
"Hey, that rhymed!" Pippin says.
"Ok...Denethor, um, did you know that Louis is actually a Louisa?" Tina points out.
"WHAT?"
"Yeah. Louis--I mean, Louisa--needs a guy friend, er, maybe a Louis?"
"Dear lord, you're raising that goat to be gay!!"
"It's not that way!!!"
"Sure it ain't. DENIAL!!"
"Nooo! It's not like that! I'll call the goat people and tell them to send me a male goat!!"
"Then GO, man!!"
Denethor runs off as Elrond runs off to Kohls, buying more dress-like clothes under the excuse 'they're for my wife'. Lame-o!!
A/N: There you have it. Took me forever to get it written. I don't know why. This one gave me problems. I actually smacked the computer, but it did nothing but hurt my hands. Oww! Anyway leave a message, have a nice day!