Disclaimer: The story is based on the characters and plot line in the Nick Cassavettes' film adaptation of Nicholas Sparks' novel, The Notebook. I'm only borrowing them!
Just why did Allie make the choice she did? Hmmm…
The Choice
Noah stood, his hand clutching his chest, and watched Allie's car until he could no longer see even the dust it raised as she barreled unsteadily down the drive. At the rate she was driving, she'd be at the inn in just a few minutes, he knew. He glanced to his left and saw his truck. Had it only been an hour ago that he'd returned from the store, expecting to see her painting in her new studio? Instead, he'd come back to a hastily scribbled note that read: "My mother is here and asked me to go for a ride. I'll be back. Love, Allie." The "I'll be back" was underlined. She didn't want me to worry, he thought ruefully.
A gull screamed, bringing Noah back to the present. "I gotta go after her," he said out loud and turned toward the truck. Within seconds, Noah was driving away from his house, pushing the old truck to its limits.
Their last few moments replayed in his mind. How could I have been so stupid? he thought. I want her to stay, and I pick a fight with her. He cringed as he remembered calling her a 'pain in the ass.' What woman would want to be with a man who could think such a thing, let alone say it? He pressed harder on the gas pedal, ignoring the groans of the engine.
Hell, he thought, as he rounded the last curve before the neat little town of Seabrook, population 1,400, came into view. I never even told her I loved her. Instead, he'd said, "Will you just stay with me?" Had he been alone so long that a remark like that would sound inviting? Shit. Lon had asked Allie to marry him, and had given her a diamond ring to boot. So what that the man had more money than Noah'd ever see. What in God's name had Noah been thinking of? 'Will you just stay with me?' what kind of an invitation was that?
As he neared the lumberyard, he thought suddenly of his friend Finn. Mutt and Jeff, their friends had called them because of their differences in height, but they'd been best friends since the second grade when Finn's family had moved to town. Now Finn lay buried thousands of miles away in a lonely grave. Noah remembered the one time they'd disagreed. The night Allie and her family left, Finn had tried to convince the distraught Noah that breaking up was for the best, saying that Allie's blood "ran blue." Noah smiled a little as he remembered how drunk they were at the time, but his smile faded as he recalled Finn's next words, that Noah and Allie were simply from two different worlds for it to work. Maybe, Noah thought now, Fin had been right.
At that moment, the Inn came into view, and Noah had the irrational thought that despite living almost his entire life in Seabrook, he'd never been there. Well, that's about to change, he decided, and pulled the truck into a vacant space across the street.
Parked in front was a shiny new Ford. Lon's, Noah thought. He hesitated only slightly as he swung open the truck door. He had no idea what he'd do or what he'd say, other than to make sure that Allie knew that he wanted to marry her. At least she'll know that we're both offering her that, he thought grimly.
He crossed the street in three quick strides and went toward the door. For the first time, he noticed Allie's car in the driveway, parked at an awkward angle. It made him stop for a second, and it was then that he noticed the single strand of pearls on the ground. Her necklace, he thought, and walked over to pick it up. The driver's window was down, he looked inside and saw it, the last letter he'd sent to Allie. It was opened and lay across the now untied bundle of Noah's letters that Allie's mother had given her that morning. He groaned inwardly. The last letter. The one where he'd written that he knew it was over…
Noah felt his legs turn to stone. He remembered writing that letter, tearing up draft after draft, trying so hard to get the words just right. He'd wanted to be certain that she would know that he had loved her, had cherished the time they'd had together, but that he realized that their love had ended.
He looked toward the hotel, knowing that he would never go in now. He couldn't do that to Allie, his precious Allie. If she had really had any doubts, that letter would have helped seal them, despite their days together.
He knew Allie would have a wonderful life with the man inside, and he had no doubts that Lon would find it in his heart to forgive Allie. What might he call it? Noah thought—her "fling" with her past love. Some men would never get over it, but Noah believed Allie would could not have fallen in love with someone like that.
Noah felt a stab of pain, remembering how he had accused Allie of wanting Lon for his money, for security. How could he have underestimated her so badly? He, Noah, had pushed her away for the second, and now final time, in his life, he realized, and he'd done it all himself.
He looked up toward the inn, and for a moment, wondered where they were. Had Lon gotten a room and was Allie with him? Or was Allie in her room, packing to leave him and Seabrook behind forever?
Noah shook his head, reached in and laid the pearls down carefully onto her front seat. Glancing one last time toward the inn, Noah turned and walked toward the truck. He never looked back.
When he pulled out onto the road, he realized that he didn't know where he was going. He knew that he couldn't face his house, the one he'd built for he and Allie, just yet. At the intersection, he slowed, and with a jolt, remembered how he and Allie had danced under this street light so many years ago on their first date.
On impulse, he swung the steering wheel left and drove the next mile from memory, slowing as he approached the entrance to the cemetery. Had it really been a year since he'd been here? he thought. He parked the truck and took the right path. His father wouldn't have minded his absence, he knew. Dad had always taken conventions in stride, forgetting his own birthday sometimes, but never, ever, Noah's.
As Noah passed the rows of tidy headstones, he wondered about the lives of the men and women buried here. Had they been happy? Had they argued with those they loved while they were alive? Allie's voice suddenly rang clear in his memory: "Stay with you? We're fighting already!" Noah sighed.
Frank Calhoun's grave was simple. Noah'd buried him two years next to his wife, Jenny when the lung cancer had won. Noah missed him more than he thought possible.
Noah looked over at his mother's grave. She and Frank had married only a few years before Noah was born, and Jenny had died when Noah was only two. He could hardly remember her, but Frank had never forgotten. There had never been any other woman for Frank, despite the many who'd come by to check on the two of them. Frank hadn't talked about Jenny much, but what Noah had seen in his eyes on those rare occasions when he'd mentioned her name, he knew he felt in his own heart when he thought of Allie.
"Hey, dad," Noah said, bending down, and tracing his fingers on the headstone. "Guess you know I screwed up again." Startled, a small flock of birds suddenly took off from the nearby azalea and Noah was instantly reminded of something Allie'd said long ago, her playful suggestion that she might have been a bird in another life. I wonder if those birds could be the souls of the dead buried here, Noah thought, then smiled at his own foolishness.
He straightened, and stood respectfully at the graveside. Then, feeling almost as lost as when he arrived, he said goodbye to his parents. Noah got in his truck and drove home. There was nothing he could do now, and he knew it.
At the side of the road, Allie sat, distraught, reading and rereading the letter she'd pulled from the bottom of the pile her mother had given her earlier that morning. She didn't need to open the others. Noah's words…."the best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants fire in our hearts and peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me, and that's what I'd hoped to give to you forever.," continued to play over in her mind as she drove toward the Inn.
She hadn't even realized she was crying until she'd parked and looked in the rearview mirror to see her hair disheveled, her face streaked with tears. Allie did her best to wipe away the tears and pin her hair in place. "Get a hold of yourself; it's time to grow up," she said aloud, and hesitating only for a second, opened the door and stepped out.
Mrs. Alton looked up from the plant she was dusting as Allie entered the hotel sitting room. "Good afternoon, Miss Hamilton," she said and smiled, deliberately avoiding any notice of the young woman's appearance. "There's a Mr. Hammond in Room 3 who's asked to see you. Would you like me to let him know that you've arrived?"
"No, thank you," said Allie, smiling weakly. "If you don't mind, I'll go and see him myself."
"Certainly, dear," Mrs. Alton replied, and turned her attention back to the plant. She had a feeling that she'd know soon enough what was going on in her small hotel.
Straightening her skirt, Allie turned toward the stairs. For a moment, she thought of going to her room first to change, then remembered something she'd learned long ago from her father—if there's something difficult to be done, do it first. The only thing is, she believed that her daddy knew exactly what to do all the time, while right now, even as she raised her slender arm to knock at Lon Hammond's door, she had no idea what she was going to say.
The door opened before Allie had a chance to knock twice. Lon had been inside, pacing, waiting to hear of Allie's return, ready to leave if she didn't and to tear Seabrook apart to find her if necessary.
"Allie." Despite everything, Lon was surprised to see her at his door. Part of him still expected the Southern Belle—for Allie to call him to her room when she was ready. Lon didn't expect the teary-eyed beauty before him, and could only repeat her name.
"Hello, Lon," said. Allie. "May I come in? We need to talk."
Lon opened the door wider, ushering Allie inside. This wasn't proper, he knew, but then, what they'd be talking about wasn't for Mrs. Alton's ears, either.
As soon as the door was closed, Lon turned and surprised himself by speaking first. "I had to come, Allie. I was worried about you." He started to move toward her, then stopped. "Then when your dad told me about the guy you'd met here…." Lon's voice trailed off.
"His name is Noah, Lon," Allie said, sitting down wearily onto the edge of the bed. "I knew him long ago and we fell in love. My parents broke us apart." Allie took a deep breath, glanced at Lon briefly, then looked down at the floor. "That's not entirely true," she began again in a soft voice. "They kept us apart, but I hadn't known that when I decided I had to come to Seabrook."
Lon looked surprised. "So why did you come here?"
"It was what I told you..I had to take care of some things. And…"
Lon's dark eyebrows met in a frown. He interrupted her, "Allie, you didn't sleep here at the hotel last night."
With her hand, she waved the objection away and pleaded, "Let me finish."
"Okay," Lon nodded, he was back in control. Allie looked at him, then quickly away. How could she possibly explain? She figured that she ought to start at the beginning. "Noah once took me to an old plantation home that he'd dreamed of rebuilding. It was in terrible shape and probably should have been torn down. But I told him if he did it, he better include me, and I wanted a white house with blue shutters and a big porch…Well, anyway," Allie took a deep breath, and continued. "He did it. And it was so amazing that they took a picture of it and him for the front page of the Daily Journal. When I saw that picture, I just knew I had to come down here, see it, and…him."
Allie lowered her head. "Maybe I thought that coming here would be a way of closing a chapter in my life that hadn't ended right."
Lon looked at her, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Before this week, the last time I saw Noah, I was 17. I had fought with him—really fought with him, kicked and slapped and punched him and everything, and forced him to break up with me," Allie said. "Except that I didn't mean it, and neither did he. I was never able to tell him that."
Lon had lowered himself onto the only chair in the room, one designed more for looks than comfort, but he took no notice. He watched Allie intently as she spoke, noticing how she kept twisting her hands, doing her best not to look him in the eye.
"Why was that?" Lon asked.
Allie spoke as if she hadn't heard the question. "When I went to Noah's I hoped to find out that chapter was closed." She looked up and met his gaze. "I was wrong."
In a low voice, Allie coninued, "Lon, I've been at Noah's for the past two days. It was wrong and irresponsible, and I'm sorry. But I couldn't help myself," she added weakly.
Lon stood up, and ran his hands over his hair. She'd been there for two days…had she slept with this guy? Lon knew that he couldn't, he wouldn't, ask. He turned to look at her. Allie was beautiful despite the tears and Lon knew that no matter what she did, or had done, he corrected himself mentally, he would love her. Besides, she was here, now, wasn't she?
He cleared his throat and began. "Well, the way I see it, I've got three choices. I can shoot him, beat the crap out of him, or leave you."
Allie looked up sharply, her eyes filling up again with tears.
"But see," Lon continued, "none of that's any good. Because they still don't leave me you." As he spoke, he walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. "In spite of everything, I love you. I meant it when I gave you that ring."
"I love you, too, Lon. But when I'm with Noah I feel like one person, and when I'm with you, I feel like someone else."
Her tears now overflowing, Allie's sincerity buoyed Lon's hopes. "It's normal not to forget your first love, but I don't want to share you. I don't want to convince my fiancé she should be with me," he said, raising her hand to his lips.
"You don't have to," Allie replied, shaking her head softly. "I already know I should be with you."
They sat, Lon holding Allie's hand. Finally, Lon spoke again, whispering gently. "Just think about how wonderful our life will be together, honey. We'll never want for money. We'll have a gorgeous home you can fix up any way you want with as many servants as we need." Speaking more to himself now, Lon continued, "Our children will be beautiful, and our family will have a fine place in society. C'mon, Allie, just think about how happy you'll be everyday as Mrs. Lon Hammond."
Allie patted his hand and smiled faintly through her tears. "Lon, I can never make this up to you, I know that."
Lon smiled, and started to shush her. "No, wait," said Allie, sensing Lon's misunderstanding. "I'm not saying this right."
By dinnertime, Noah had accomplished nothing. He had tried to work on a new dining room table he'd promised Scott Bedlow, the farmer down the road, but all he had succeeded in doing was making a mess. He'd tried reading, but found nothing that would soothe his soul. Finally, he sat down on the porch with a bottle of Jim Beam.
During the night he awoke and found himself patting the other side of bed, his hands and his heart looking for Allie. Feeling the deserted space, Noah finally let himself cry. Much later, he drew the old red blanket from the foot of the bed around him, breathed in Allie's smell that still lingered on it, and fell back to sleep.
The sound of a car in the drive startled him from bed. The bright sunlight nearly blinding him, he stumbled to the porch to see outside, the blanket still wrapped around him. He couldn't believe what he saw. There she was, looking almost exactly as she had when she'd left, lifting suitcases one by one out of the car.
Noah couldn't speak. He wasn't certain that what he was seeing was real, and he remained rooted to the spot. Finally, Allie, looked up. Their eyes locked, and Noah managed a half-smile. Allie shrugged.
Noah turned and headed down the stairs. Clumsy from sleep and a hangover, and still not sure that he wasn't crazy, he opened the front door. Allie dropped her bags and sprinted toward him. The moment they touched, she buried her face in his shoulder, and his arms closed around her.
They stayed that way for what seemed like forever. Allie cried softly, and Noah, patting her back awkwardly murmured, "It's you, it's really you," over and over. Her tears subsiding, Allie stepped back, wiped her face and looked Noah in the eyes. "Oh, Noah," she said in a hiccupy half-laugh, "You smell like a brewery."
Her remark caught him by surprise and he laughed.
"See, I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings either," she said, and hugged him, softening her words. "But I do believe you need some tea. And a bath."
"Coffee," he corrected her. "A lot of coffee. And a bath, too"
Without letting go of each other, they turned and went toward the house. At the door, Noah stopped, and without saying anything, lifted Allie off her feet, and cradled her in his arms.
"Wha..?" Allie started to say, surprised. When she saw the serious look on Noah's face, she hesitated.
"Allie, I promised you this house. All that I am, and everything I have is yours, if you want it," Noah said.
"Oh, Noah, I do. I want you." Allie saw Noah's dark eyes light up. With that, he carried her across the threshold into their house.
"Allie?" They lay on their backs, side by side, the colors of sunset reflected on the bedroom walls.
"Mmm…" she murmured, turning her face to his. She smiled, and slowly opened her beautiful blue eyes.
"What made you decide to come back to me?" Noah's voice was soft, but guarded, almost as if he was afraid to hear her answer.
Allie paused for so long Noah was afraid she hadn't heard him, or worse, couldn't answer. Finally she raised herself on her elbow and spoke. "You asked me to picture my life 30 or 40 years from now. Well, Lon told me what my life was going to look like years from now…" Her voice faltered a little and Noah felt his heart quicken. "And I won't lie and tell you that he didn't paint a beautiful picture, one that almost any woman would want." Noah squeezed his eyes tightly. He could only imagine what a wealthy Southern lawyer, heir to a cotton fortune, would have promised the woman he loved.
Allie brush her fingers across his chest and his eyes opened. "But you were right when you asked me what I wanted.."
She lay back and used her arms to gesture. "You wrote that the best love awakens the soul," Allie paused. "That was a beautiful line, Noah. And that's what you've always done for me. With you, I see the world differently. I feel things—the river, colors, sounds, everything. I see myself as someone who's a lot more than the perfect wife It's you who's always made me want to reach for more."
She turned her face to him. "When I'm you, I'm the best woman I can be."
Noah was overcome and for a few moments could only look at the woman by his side. "Are you sure, Al?" he asked softly, stroking her hair.
Allie raised herself back up. "Yes, Noah, I'm sure." She leaned over and kissed him, then pulled back, and with a steady look, said, "But don't think I didn't cry about it all night long, though. I told you Lon was a good man, and he didn't make it easy."
"What did Lon say?" Noah wasn't sure he really wanted to know.
"He said he wanted to kick the crap out of you or shoot you," Allie teased. She bent to kiss Noah, but his words stopped her.
"Good thing I didn't go inside then," Noah retorted.
"You came after me?" Allie sounded surprised, but pleased. "But, why…"
Noah blushed, took her chin in his hands and spoke steadily. "Al, I did everything wrong. I fought with you, yelled at you, called you a pain in the ass, which you're not, and," Noah shook his head in disbelief, "I never even told you how much I loved you or wanted to marry you.
"When I got there and saw my last letter to you open on the seat of your car, I knew I'd given you a way out if you wanted it." Noah searched her eyes for understanding. "I owed you that."
Allie was silent for a few minutes, then looked up at him and beamed, "So what's this about getting married?"
Noah laughed, got out of bed and crossed the room to kneel at her side. Reaching for her hand, he looked into her eyes and said, "Miss Hamilton, you would do me the greatest honor in the world if you would be my wife." He kissed her fingers and smiled.
"Oh Noah, yes," Allie leaned forward to pull him back up next to her. "Now, get back to bed. We can get started on that honeymoon…" Laughing, they rolled toward one another.