A/N: Hey everyone. Sorry about the wait on chapters, but between school and me being sick every other week (now it's the flu…) it's taking me a while. But I try. Anyway, here you all go, enjoy.

Chapter Forty-Nine: On the Road Again, I Can't Stand Being on the Road Again…

5 hours later after the Barney Incident…

About 5 hours later, after everyone was done laughing at Denethor who has acute Barney-phobia, they actually decided to HIT THE ROAD (it only took that long).

"On the Road again, how I hate being on the road again! Cramped in a car with my crazy soon-to-be father-in-law ain't fun at all!" Mary sings, very badly, loudly, and off-key.

"MARY! Shut up!" Denethor growls.

"Well, nyah!" Mary says. "On the Road again…la la la stupid people in a car with me..."

"GOD! SHUT UP!" Boromir screams.

"Whatever you say, Boro-freak."

"ARGH!"

About 2 hours pass of Mary saying really stupid things and annoying her future in-laws.

"Did you know," Mary says, taking a bite out of an apple, "that Nepal is a really small country? And that Rhode Island is really interesting? Like, it's so small!"

"Can't you shut her up, Faramir?" Denethor wails.

"NO HE CAN'T!" Mary screams, throwing the apple core (I eat apples fast) at Denethor's head.

"OW!"

"MARY!" Orliey reprimands.

"Sorry…"

"Now, let's all play a game! How about…I spy?" Boromir offers innocently.

"All right! I'll start!" Denethor says. "I spy with my little eye something that is…green!"

"Wow, think up something less obvious. How about that GRASS?" Boromir says.

"Ok, Boromir, you go."

"I spy with my little eye something that is…blue."

"Ok, that was easy. The Sky." Mary says.

"Ok, go Mary."

"I spy with my little eye something that is purple."

"Hmmm…that's a good one. I dunno. What do you think, Orliey?" Denethor says.

"Hmm…I dunno."

About 3 minutes pass and no one can guess.

"Do you give up?" Mary says, acting sugar-high (apples do that to me.) and bouncing around in her seat.

"Yeah, what is it?" Denethor asks.

"BARNEY!" Mary screams.

"AHHHH! WHERE? MOMMY!" Denethor screams like a little girl. The SUV veers dangerously near to the side of the road, and the driver behind Denethor honks his horn and gives him the finger.

Mary laughs in the back seat, dangerously close to having her fruit punch squirt out of her nose.

"It's ok, honey, you'll be fine." Orliey says.

"Barney…he's stalking me." Denethor whispers.

"That was funny, Mary." Faramir says, smiling.

"I know!" Mary says, laughing crazily.

"MARY! That was not funny! We could have veered off the road!" Boromir screams.

"Yeah, yeah, chill out before you wet yourself." Mary says, pulling out another apple and eating it.

"Man, you eat apples like my dad eats tomatoes!" Faramir says.

"I'm an APPLE ADDICT!" Mary screams. "Muahahaha!"

"Uh…does she scare you?" Boromir asks.

About 5 hours later…

The cars all pull into the Comfort Inn parking lot. Everyone gets out and runs around the parking lot to let off some pent-up energy.

"RAAAA! I'm a CRAZY DINOSAUR! Raaaaaaa!" Pippin says, running around and jumping off cars.

"Ok, that's a wee bit scary…" Merry says.

"RAAAA! Fear me!" Pippin screams. He then crashes into a large car and falls down, twitching convulsively.

"Uh…" Kay says.

"Maybe we should all go inside?" Elrond asks.

"Best idea you've had all week, El!" Mary says, patting Elrond on the shoulder and staggering onwards.

"Is she drunk?" Elrond asks, staring after Mary, who is humming something and walking towards the door, looking drunk.

"HAHA! No I'm not!" Mary says, crashing into a door and falling.

"Why is everyone running into things?" Denethor asks.

"MARY! Oh my God! Are you ok? You always do things like this…" Faramir says, running towards Mary. "Did you have sugar?"

"NO! I did not have sugar!" Mary says, giggling uncontrollably.

"Come on, Mary, I think you need to come down from your sugar high…" Faramir says.

"NO! I don't wanna!" Mary whines.

"MARY! LISTEN TO ME! YES! YOU HAVE TO!" Faramir screams.

"Fine, fine, stop yelling!" Mary says. She gets up and leans on Faramir for support.

Denethor laughs and Mary shoots him an unpleasant look.

A/N: The next chapter will be the Special Nine Month Anniversary And 50th Chapter Mark SPECIAL EDITION! Oooh. Isn't it amazing? So it's not, whatever. Thanks to Orliey for the idea. Hooray. Anyway, see you at the next chapter, which may or may not be up tomorrow.