Me: Waldo has run away from home and now I have no one to help me introduce this chapter!! cries
Foamy the Squirrel: That F-ing bastard.
Me: Who the crap are you?
Foamy: I'm Foamy, dumb ass.
Me: You're scary.
Foamy: You're F-ing retarded.
Me: What screwed you up?
Foamy: My bitch gothic owner decided that she needed to mutilate something or some shit like that and I've been bitter toward people ever F-ing since. So you're my first victim. DIE BLONDIE!!
Me: WALDO!!! SAVE ME FROM THIS SWEARING SQUIRREL!!!!
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Yusuke I can't come over after class
Cause if your mom is there, I think I'll pass
Did she finally get back from the bar
Or did she actually crash her car
You know she's just a little weird and crazy
She may be all grown up but Yusuke can't you see
Something's wrong
With Yusuke's mom
I don't think her head
Is quite screwed on
Yusuke can't you see
Your mom's such a druggy
She's just a little weird
CauseYusuke's mom's had too much beer
Yusuke do you remember when I mowed your lawn?
Your mom came out with nothing on
I could tell she was drunk by the way she walked
And by the way she couldn't talk
I know you think that just imagining
But since your dad walked out your mom could use some therapy
Something's wrong
With Yusuke's mom
I don't think her head
Is quite screwed on
Yusuke can't you see
Your mom's such a druggy
She's just a little weird
CauseYusuke's mom's had too much beer
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Me: That chorus was really intended for another girl's mom. It went something like:
Something's wrong
With Jamie's mom
I don't think her head
Is quite screwed on
Jamie can't you see
Your mom's kinda creepy
I know it might be mean
But Jamie's mom's annoying
Foamy: You must really hate her.
Me: Something like that. And would you stop pointing that sharp object at me!!
Foamy: I told you, woman!! No bitching at me!! I tie you up tighter if that's what you want. That F-ing shithead, Waldo is not gonna come get you so you're stuck with me!!
(PS: There's a website called that has cartoons about a weird cussing squirrel named Foamy. It's a lot of language but he's got a friend who takes so much medication that he talks a million miles a minute who I love)