"I came here to do two things: Smoke cigarettes and kick ass. And I'm out of cigarettes."
Bard
'Come get your sunset, cowboy.'
Noir
-N-N-N-
CL-CLANK!
The reving of an engine free of the Earth.
"?" I turned completely around.
A thin shadow inked over my dark figures. The image of a flailing brown ponytail glinted in my black shades as I looked up andSHIING!
He descended on me. A cowboy.
A cowboy?
Riding a steel motorbike. Its tires spinning hungrily at me like obsidian teeth. There was a shine off of dark spectacles covering hauntingly warm blue orbs.
And...
Time slowed.
-B-B-B-
It seemed like God put everything into slow motion as me and my bike hit the peak of our jump, descending an inch at a time. Humming under my breath, I produced a fireball in my hand and tossed it at the bewildered swordsman
PHOMB!
The dark-haired fiend suddenly swung a wooden katana up towards the heavens.
CLANK!
My fireball was deflected by the flimsy weapon.
My eyes widened under my glasses.
'If at first you don't succeed...'
-N-N-N-
There was a murmuring to the cowboy's lips. I saw a second flame in concoction, haloing his palm as he descended in slow motion.
CHIIIING! I leaned backtook a breathand jerked Myrkblade to the side.
PHOMMMB! The flaming sphere showered down at me in perceivably molasses motion and—
SWOOOOOSH-CLANK! I twirled Myrkblade just right, sending the fireball back at him this time.
-B-B-B-
It came within a hair of knocking my head off, but I was able to duck just in the nick of time.
'That had better not messed up my hat...'
Below me, as I was getting closer and closer to landing, I saw the dark haired swordsman tense. The tires hit the ground and I hit the brakes and skidded the Harley sideways...right at the swordsman.
WHAM!
Time resumed.
The whole swordsman's body shook as with the impact of a freight train.
Together we skidded—the bike in between us—towards the front window of the pub, made from all—too—real GLASS.
I grunted and tried to hum something and the swordsman was busy trying—in vain—to wrench his sword free and slash at my steel horse when
CL-CLANK!
The bike hit the wall of the building and our boneless, careening bodies were vomited through the air and into
-N-N-N-
CRASSSH!
the bar.
SHATTER!
The offending cowboy and I flew into the pub with a shower of glass. We collapsed through a table where three citizens were playing poker. Beer and pretzels flew as they stumbled up to their feet—cursing and shouting in surprise. The bartenders, pool players, and other random, paying riff-raff of the place gasped and stared at our intrusion with bloodshot eyes as big as saucers.
WH-WH-WHUMP! I rolled to a stop on the floor.
TH-THWUMP! The cowboy collapsed in a sea of glass.
Vrrrrmmmm……
The lonely steel bike purred by itself, halfway suspended through the shattered bar front.
"Ugh..." I heard the cowboy mutter.
He shook the cobwebs out of his head and forced his way to his feet. Thick dust billowed everywhere and made his eyes and throat burn. As his eyes came adjusted to the dim place - now considerable lighter with the window gone - he jumped up to his feet just as I did.
"...," I winced. Clutching a few scrapes on my right arm while holding Myrkblade down.
Through the corner of my shades, I became fairly aware of the interior of the Pub. Between the bodies of scattering, shocked patrons I saw an array of wooden tables in the center, with three or four pool tables to the side lit by dust-laden lamps, a slick bark lining the length of the establishment against the far wall...branching towards the front where the wine bottles were stored. An extravagant big screen t.v. stood erect in the corner of the place, displaying some haphazard, testosterone-dripping footage of a wrestling match with blaring speakers. A juke box fought the noise and chaos of startled patrons with a country ensemble of one sort of another. I didn't know.
Damn spatial sense...
I wasn't paying much attention to it. I had my black eyes centered on a figure a few feet before me. And as he stood tall and erectshards of glass littering his black dusterI found myself having to tilt my scarred neck up to truly address his eyes.
-B-B-B-
I cracked my neck and a bit of shattered glass fell from my shoulders to join it's companions that crackled beneath my boots on the floor. This swordsman was tougher than I thought. His long black hair was in a bit of disarray, but besides that, he looked none the worse for wear.
"I came here to do two things: Smoke cigarettes and kick ass." I paused for dramatic effect, squinting my eyes behind my glasses at him. "And I'm out of cigarettes."
He raised an eyebrow.
Something flickered behind his dark shades.
The swordsman ignored my quip and instead glared behind me, and I glanced quickly to see Johnny Rancid peeking in through the shattered glass window. He let out a frightened yelp and ran away. After what the Swordsman had put him though, I couldn't really blame him…
The Swordsman gripped his blade and moved to head after him.
"You weren't just going to leave, were you?" I asked him, bending my knees slightly to block his path if he tried to get around me. "I reckon that would be impolite of you, now wouldn't it?"
-N-N-N-
I frowned.
I have no time for this. Rancid has the energy core. Not Howdy Doody here.
I placed a hand on his shoulder to shove him away.
In a flash, the cowboy drew his laser pistol from a holster at his side and firmly pressed it under my chin. His eyes barely noticed the 'X' scar on my throat before he said:
"Rule number one: Never EVER touch a cowboy...or his radio. If you have trouble with Rancid, you're gonna have trouble with me."
I blinked.
Right...uhm...
Rancid can wait.
THWACK!
Myrkblade blurred up in half a second.
CLACK!
A hush fell over the murmuring crowd of shocked patrons.
I stood—glaring—with Myrkblade stuck at the end of an upswing.
-B-B-B-
As the Swordsman made his move, my finger tensed on the trigger...and nothing happened.
'The hell...?'
It wasn't until an awkward, embarassing moment later that I realized I wasn't holding the pistol anymore...and that it was implanted in the ceiling above me.
'Damn, this guy's quick...'
"Kick his ass, Bard!" One patron sitting near the door cheered me on.
"Yeah, show'em you can't just attack innocent people in this city!"
"YEEEEEEHHHHOOOOO!" One particularly tipsy patron cheered me on...I think.
The dark-headed sword-wielder glanced at the burly bunch.
'Bard?' he mutely mouthed.
I was a little surprised he didn't know me...But oh well: I'd just introduce myself now.
WHAM!
I connected dead on with his chest with a right, adamantine covered fist. Suprisingly, he didn't fall over or even drop his sword, but he DID slide back about ten feet to stop just before a pool table.
Following up, I leapt high in the air and drew back my fist, ready to smash down on him again.
THWAP!
He slid back against the pool table, wincing.
His hidden eyes thinly opened under glinting black shades.
He saw my body flying at him. A raised fist with hard-as-stone knuckles interlaced around my fingers.
He took a breath.
CHIIIIIING!
He aimed a razor-sharp sword tip up at my plunging torso.
'Shit!'
I was about to impale myself on the fella's sword! Humming quickly, I summoned up the wind and closed my eyes in a wince...and when I reopened them, I was hanging in midair, the sharp edge of the once wooden sword poise and inch from my chest.
I sweatdropped.
-N-N-N-
I stared at him.
He stared at me.
A blink and a sweatdrop.
And a simper...
TH-THWISH! Myrkblade twirled and—
WHAM!
I struck him hard with the broad side of my sword.
-B-B-B-
My trenchcoat flapped around me as I flew back through the air until, by luck, the bar broke my fall...against my spine.
"Oof!"
So he wanted to use a weapon, huh? I could play that game. I reached around beneath my coat to the small of my back and produced the collasible staff Robin had given me all those weeks ago.
SNKKKT!
I twirled it over my head and leapt back in the fight.
"Haugh!"
-N-N-N-
I watched him charge at me past a row of half-drunk, cheering citizens.
He twirled the staff over his head like...like...
Someone I once knew.
Not funny.
CHIIING!
I raised Myrkblade right as he came on me.
-B-B-B-
CLANK!
My arm jolted from the shockwaves of his block. I had thought that sword of his wooden, but it was sharp enough to skewer and hard enough to block a metal staff. What the hell was up with that?
I spun, my trenchcoat following behind me and directed the tail end of the staff at the backs of his knees.
He bit his lip.
Backflipped...
And perched on the edge of a pool table.
THWIIISH! He jabbed at my forehead.
'Sh-'
I didn't even have time to formulate the curse in my head. Quickly summoning up the wind song, I leaned back Matrix style with a pillar of air holding me up and watched the sword thrust right over my nose.
He froze in mid-lunge. Blinking.
A silently held my breath among all the numb, male inhabitants of the room.
One second. Two.
Three...
I smirked.
WHAP!
I kicked him up in the air, caught him coming down, pivoted and slammed him through a bar table.
CRASH!
I glanced over at the wide screen TV where a pro wrestling match was going on.
'Who says wrestling's fake?'
-N-N-N-
I gritted my teeth.
Hobbling up to my feet with Myrkblade.
"Yeah! Ha ha! You show 'em, Bard!" a bearded fellow from beyond my ring of splinters shook his beer.
"Slam him where it counts!"
I frowned.
FWOOOOOSH!
I jerked my limbs down.
A veil of smoke poured out of my shades, down my shoulders, and enveloping my sword in black obsidian.
CHIIIIING!
"...," the patrons blinked.
Sneering, I icily turned around.
Smoke wavered out from my face and torso like onyx mist as I stared back at the cowboy.
Myrkblade teetering beside me like a burning pendulum.
-B-B-B-
I blinked owlishly.
'I think I pissed him off...'
Splinters and dust scattered from a falling veil of smoke.
He gritted his teeth and leaned forward at me.
I saw metal fingers clenching at his side.
-N-N-N-
I seethed at the cowboy.
Forgetting Rancid.
Forgetting the energy core.
Forgetting everything going on in that dark, gloomy world outside where the Titans and I risked our neck for a living.
This has not...been...my...DAY!
SWOOOOOOOOOSH!
I blurred at him, dragging Myrkblade alongside me and scraping sparks off the ground.
SNKKKKKKKKKKTTTT!
I rocketed across the bar, shredded two tables in half with the blade as it swam a warbling current of hot smoke straight at the cowboy's cranium.
SLASSSSSSH!
The cowboy's blue eyes widened.
SLASSSSSHHH!
He ducked just in time, losing just a tad smidgeon of hair from where his ponytail swooped up from underneath his hat.
But I didn't stop there.
Slash-clank!
Slash-clank!
I threw a furry of jabs and strikes at him with my blade and, though he was somehow able to block with his staff, he was being steadily pushed back. He suddenly risked a glance behind him. There was nowhere else for him to retreat. He'd come to a blank wall with a jukebox standing against it.
-B-B-B-
THWAP!
He kicked me up into the air like a ragdoll.
My hat floated up off my head.
'God bless it!'
He held his breath, 'blurred' his body, and spun three three-sixties with the wooden sword outstretched.
SWOOSH-SWOOSH-SWOOSH!
WH-WH-WHAP! My torso jolted from each blow.
The hat miraculously fell back onto my head.
'Oh……why thanks, God.'
He spinned one last time and—
WHUMP!
Shouldered me hard towards the wall.
'Oof!'
My back hit hard against the jukebox, and I heard the record change from the jolt. The swordsman followed right after me, and I barely had time to lift my staff before-
Clank!
He was right in my face, my face reflecting off his sunglasses as his sword bit into my staff. I struggled to keep the sharp edge of the weapon away from my face. Behind me, a new song started up.
#Prop me up, beside the jukebox if I die...#
'Not the song I want to hear right now...!'
"You've got to be the weirdest villain I've ever faced." I breathed as I struggled against him. "Even Slade gloats when he has a superhero...on the ropes...Haugh!"
With a heave, I forced him back. If nothing else, at least I was a LITTLE stronger than he was...
-N-N-N-
WHUMP!
I slid back from him and the juke box.
And I was numb.
But not by his shoving heave, but rather by his ramblings.
Slade?
The hell?
Who let the sanitarium out early this year?
I contemplated one second too long in my daze.
Rancid sure chooses the wackiest of sidek—
PHOOMB!
PH-PHOOOMB!
The patrons finally screamed and ran out of the wrecked pub.
From what?
I snapped out of it just in time to be blinded by two fireballs.
Aw Hell.
He streaked at me on a current of wind, two fireballs poised in his hands. He had the sudden, heated energy of a warrior fighting for his life. I didn't give much of a thought as to how carefully he avoided the fleeing citizens with his 'magic' as he ran a collision course with my figure.
I twirled Myrkblade at ready.
I slid a left foot forward.
Concentrating...black eyes thin...
Until he was all my eyes could see, that is…
"!"
-B-B-B-
Wham!
We collided, flame meeting smoke in a momumental explosion. We tumbled and slid into a wall just beside the door that, or so the sign above it informed me, was to the bathroom.
FLUSH!
A man walked out, drying his hands on the front of his shirt.
"Get a room." He muttered before walking out the door into the street, apparently not noticing any of the destruction around him.
THWAP!
The swordsman kicked me off him. I could've almost kissed him for that, but then I realized why I wanted him to kick me off him in the first place...
He vaulted up to my feet with a pulse of his murk stuff.
I stood up wearily before the big screen t.v. set in the corner.
"He's going all out for the belt now, folks!"
His teeth snarled. Again….mute.
SWOOOOSH!
He blurred at me, his sword twirling and summoning up black energy for in preparation for an upswing.
I got my staff ready just in time to catch his attack as he blurred at me with those weird smoke powers of his...But the attack was stronger than I thought.
CLANKSWISH!
My staff went flying through the air. Glancing up, I hummed under my breath.
SWOOSH!
Wind dislodged my pistol from the ceiling and brought it to my outstretched hand.
'Time to run, bastard!'
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
-N-N-N-
I skidded to a blurring stop.
Sweatdropping.
PIFFT! CRACK! THRACK!
The floor exploded around me.
I backflipped as laser blasts trailed after my figure like photogenic popcorn.
Z-Z-Z-Z-ZAP!
The cowboy paced across the room, firing expertly with the gun resting over a horizontal forearm.
P-P-PING! I dove and knelt behind a pool table.
Panting.
Frickin' deadshot for a four-eyes!
CRACK!
A corner of the pool table exploded over my black head of hair from a laser blast.
Allright...
SWOOOSH!
I twirled up to my feet. With a smoke-laden boot I slammed my lower limb up into the table's underside.
WHUMP!
Four pool balls lifted ceiling-ward from the green felt.
I twirled Myrkblade.
From Beast Boy with love, Ump!
THWACK!
I knocked all four airborne pool balls at him.
THWOOOOSH!
-B-B-B-
Four pool balls streaked at me...
#Why can't I free you doubtful mind, and melt your cold, cold heart?#
An ice shield materialized in front of me just as the hastily sung lyric finished rolling off my lips. It blocked three of the balls, but the fourth one had too much momentum...
ShatterSmack!
It hit me in the pit of the stomach. I bent over sharply and gulped for breath.
In the meantime, the swordsman across the way took a deep breath.
He jumped up, grabbed the dangling green lamp above the pool table, swung like some kind of agile, kickass monkey and leapt off.
With a flip he landed into a slide, twirled the katana, built up smoke, and turned his momentum into a blurring charge at my stumbling figure.
'Is this God's way of punishing me for smoking?'
I looked up just in time to see him blurring at me. Mostly out of instinct, I pivoted around him and used his own momentum to fling him against the bar.
"Lights out!"
I holstered my pistol and conjured up two fireballs, running straight for him.
-N-N-N-
CLACK!
My sword flew from my flung body and slid to the opposite end of the bar.
"!"
Daah! Jeez!
In the meantime, I tumbled, rolled, ragdolled, and ended up with my back against the bar and my butt on the floor.
I winced.
I looked up at him.
PHOMB!
My black eyes widened at the painful light of an incoming fireball.
SWOOSH-GRIP! I grabbed the top rim of the bar and flipped up.
CRACK!
The first fireball exploded into a pair of bar stools, shattering them into ashes and splinters.
The cowboy still came at me.
I perched on the edge of the bar. Panted. Looked around. And grabbed an opened whiskey bottle….
He kept the other fireball in his hand, intending to give me a flaming punch. He knew the same as I knew that there was no way I was gonna fend off a pyrokinetic cowboy with a whiskey bottle….
So I drunk a mouthful and immediately spat it back out at the cowboy's flaming hand.
Heh…
PTFFFT!
-B-B-B-
PHOOSH!
I was in engulfed in flame for a brief, terrible instant. When it was gone, I brought my hands up to my face make sure my eyebrows were still there...but something was still wrong. I felt extremely warm for some reason. I looked down and comically realized my trenchcoat was on fire.
'Shit!'
There was a flapping sound like a squadron of penguins trying to take off as I spun around and batted my hands at the fire on my outfit. I didn't think about using a water or ice song because...well...I was on fire!
SWOOSH!
The stranger jumped off the bar counter and made to run for his blade...but instead stumbled into a table.
THWUMP!
He winced and leaned against it.
Shaking his head...
Dizzy...
But soon he tossed the tipsiness off and stumbled in vain towards his sword within the vicinity of the widescreen t.v.
In the hilarious meantime: "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Batting my coat wasn't working. I tossed it to the ground, leaving my torso clad only in a sleeveless black shirt, and started jumping on the blaze with my cowboy boots.
I finally got the blaze put out...but my coat was ruined. On the back, I saw the once white cross design that had adorned it's back blackened and smoking.
'I LIKED that coat!'
Snarling, I looked up and saw the swordsman clamoring over to retrieve his dropped sword.
As I leapt at him, he tripped and fell to his hands and knees. When I got to him, I didn't punch, grab or even kick him...Instead, I pulled out a dirty tactic and stomped on his hand with my cowboy boot.
THWOMP!
'What a cheap, underhanded manuever!' A southern twanged announced from the TV called out.
The swordsman opened his mouth to let out a yelp of pain...but nothing came out. Either he was tough as nails or-
I picked him up by the back of his shirt, pivoted and flung him back across the room...into the jukebox.
"How do you like it?"
-N-N-N-
ScraaaaapeTHWAP!
I slid into the juke box.
#I wanna go to heaven, but I don't wanna go toniscrkkkk!#
The whole thing shook from my impact.
Crackling speakers.
A hissing.
The middle of a Simon and Garfunkel song played.
#and touched the sound of silence.#
I rubbed my red and bruised knuckles.
My black eyes stared at the combatant who stood between me and my sword.
...yeah.
SWOOOOSH!
I blurred towards him, gained speed, and ran right at his face as my body converted into smoke form.
-B-B-B-
The jukebox switched to another song that...I definitely didn't like. But it seemed to hearten the villain. Maybe country music was his kryptonite or something...
He blurred at me. I spread my feet and held up my adamantine covered fists, waiting to meet his charge.
SWOOOSH!
His face blurred through my fist in parting smoke.
"Holy sh-"
WHAM!
He crushed his elbow into me THROUGH my fist. What was this guy made out of, smoke?
I stumbled back once, twice, but somehow managed to stay on my feet. But the swordsman was already blurring at me again.
-N-N-N-
FWOOOSH!
I slid between his legs in black steam.
Solidified, kicked his right ankle.
THWAP!
He stumbled.
I swiped up Myrkblade from the ground.
Twirled it.
Blurred at him.
THWACK!
Flew past him with a sword strike.
FWOOOSH!
Teleported.
Solidified in front of him.
THWACK! Struck him across the chest.
FWOOOSH!
Teleported.
Solidified to his side.
SLASH!
Ripped a gash in his black shirt.
FWOOOSH!
Teleported.
Solidified behind him with a boot to his rear end.
THWUMP!
And a resounding upswing of Myrkblade across his back.
WHACK!
-B-B-B-
I fell hard on my face, tasting the copper tang of blood on my lip. I might be stronger, but he was a HELL of lot faster than me. Had he been taking lessons from Zillah or something?
But I was a cowboy, and cowboys sure as hell don't stay down...not if the sun is going to rise tomorrow. I unsteadily made it back to my feet and, trying to buy a little recuperative time, I asked:
"Isn't this the part where you say: 'You're finished, cowboy'?"
-N-N-N-
I slumped forward and leaned on Myrkblade.
Panting.
This guy...
He refuses to go down.
What in the freakin' Heck...?
I gulped.
I stared up at him.
Panting.
Sweat running down my scarred neck.
Mute.
-B-B-B-
As we stood there panting, watching each other, I finally noticed the 'X' scar on his throat again. Maybe he couldn't
"All right, damn it, say something! I can't stand fighting a bad guy who doesn't have smart-aleck quips! I know you have some! I'm a cowboy! That's a pretty easy target!"
He seemed to glare at me more intensely.
And he 'spoke' with the middle finger of his metal hand.
My eyes flashed.
'Why that sonuva-'
PHOMB!
I reared back like a major league pitcher and tossed a orange, roaring fireball straight for him.
SWOOOOOSH-FLASH!
His hidden eyes bugged beneath his shades.
His metal hand was on fire.
He gritted his teeth and struggled to put it out.
Hobbling and twirling in front of the wide screen t.v.
"Oh my goodness! I've never seen anything like it!"
I smirked at him.
'Serves you right...'
I gave him a second to realize the error of his ways..then decided to teach him another lesson. So preoccupied with his arm, he didn't see me coming until the last second...
GRIPSHATTER!
I flung him straight into the widescreen TV.
-N-N-N-
CRAAAACK!
ZZZZZZT!
My body jolted and shook from the sparks as they convulsed through me.
And I felt a horrifically freezing sensation.
Something familiar and pulling in.
Like a vortex.
A black hole pulling me in just the same way it had so recently spat me out.
THWUMP!
I landed on the floor from the sparking t.v. set, twitching. Vibrating all over.
The sparks danced higher.
The sprinkler system of the Pub went off.
It started to rain indoors.
-B-B-B-
Waters cascaded in a steady stream off the bill of my cowboy hat, obscuring my vision. But I could see that the swordsman was trembling and vibrating all over...The TV must have shocked him. I figured he was down for the count, so I reached down to put his hands behind his back.
-N-N-N-
Wincing, I tilted my head warily upwards in the wet domain.
I saw with blinding clarity the figure of the cowboy.
The water trickling off him like deflated wings.
The vividness of his blue eyes under the fogged glasses and the brown hair turned slick and dripping with humanity.
All these things...telling me that my shades had fallen off.
-B-B-B-
I jumped back and dropped my cuffs...I couldn't help it. He had no pupils at all: His eyes were completely, utterly, soullessly black.
Smoke trailed out of them, dancing with the rain.
He let out a mute hiss.
His arms shifted in his grasp.
Slowly, his lips moved in a mute fashion that even I could 'read': 'Take a good...long...look...'
FWOOOOSH!
His whole body vaulted up in smoke form.
"Shit!" I swore out loud... and it seemed like the hundredth time I'd said the word that day. I should have cuffed him when I had the chance...as if handcuffs would do any good against someone who could turn his body to smoke. And speaking of that devil:
He turned to smoke form and wafted up like mist. I swung a fist at it, but my arms simply went through it. Like a ghost.
-N-N-N-
I flipped back, landed in a slide, and twirled Myrkblade.
TH-TH-THWISH!
I held the blade up against the water.
Panting.
My shoulder being batted on all sides by the sprinkling stream.
I thinned my black eyes to let in the least amount of light possible.
I didn't think about Rancid anymore. Or the power core. Or the confusing, bright world outside.
Everything had perpetually, inexplicably narrowed itself down between me and this...this...
Warrior...
Tall, bright visage.
Dark frame.
Bloody fury.
What part of the Spectrum did he lean to?
I frowned.
I twirled Myrkblade again and struck a meditative pose. I aimed my metal hand at him, turned the palm around, and motioned him towards me with my fingers.
Come get your sunset, cowboy.
-B-B-B-
I watched him with awed eyes. He couldn't be human...but he was. He was something in between, maybe. Like a demon...or even a ghost.
For some reason, those black eyes chilled me. Like he could see into my very soul.
But those black eyes or not...I was gonna take him to the woodshed.
-N-N-N-
I took a deep breath.
Glaring.
Summoning murk.
Pouring it into my blade.
Charging.
Charging...
-B-B-B-
Smoke warbled around the swordsman's form. He was charging up, building up strength for one last round. I realized that this wasn't a fight against a petty criminal anymore. This was deadly serious.
I took in a deep breath, invisible air twirling around me like a miniature tornado...
The falling water between us parted and collected into two vortexes of twirling drops.
The dust and glass shards and debris of the Pub shook and shifted like opposite poles of a dirt magnet.
The very elements fought in the air between us: Earth, water, smoke, even fire and electricity crackled forth from the ruined television. I tensed every muscle in my body, my adrenaline pumping but my mind clear.
"Haugh!"
Faster than ever before, my conjured wind pushed me towards the swordsman.
-N-N-N-
I gritted my teeth and blurred at him.
Splash-Splash-Splash-Splash!
SWOOOOOSH!
We came together, going all out at each other. The wild, powerful blows of a street brawler against the steady, meditated strikes of a martial artist.
CL-CL-CLACK!
THWOOOSH!
I swung low at his feet.
He jumped and flung a fireball down at my midframe.
PHOMB!
I deflected barely.
CLANK!
I stumbled back and twirled Myrkblade to greet his adamantine fist.
SCRRRKKKK!
Sparks flew. His 'knuckles' scraped against the length of my sword and nearly sent me spiraling.
WHUMP! I flew my knee up at him and slashed Myrkblade.
He ducked.
I snarled mutely and swung my metal fist.
-B-B-B-
I caught his metal appendage and tried to throw him over my shoulder, but he somehow pivoted in midair, spun and brought both of his feet right into my face.
WHACK!
I stumbled back into the wall, where cue sticks hung on a wooden holder. Quickly grabbing one, I reared back and flew back at him, poised to clobber him.
"….," he waited.
I swung with every once of strength I had in my body. The wooden cue stick whistled through the air as it arced at the side of his head.
-N-N-N-
I blocked hard with Myrkblade.
CLACK!
Feet wobbling.
I winced.
Nnngh...such power.
D-Definitely...C-Construction!
And I jolted.
For I again felt that pulling feeling.
The coldness.
Something sucking me in.
I hissed through clenched teeth and my defense against the pool cue gave way.
-B-B-B-
The swordsman blocked my makeshift staff with his sword, but he didn't have enough strength to hold it off forever.
WHACK!
The cue stick broke through his defense and smacked him just above the temple. He spun like a top and landed in the remains of a table we had already broken earlier in our struggle.
He groaned and winced all over.
Blood trickled down his sides.
Panting, he looked up.
I couldn't make the same mistake twice. He was down, and I had to take him out now. With a fighter like this, I might not get the chance again. I leapt, hummed, and electricity arced and danced across my adamantine knuckles.
"HAugh!"
-N-N-N-
I weakly raised Myrkblade up.
The jolt.
Nnngh!
My black eyes squinted.
What...is...h-happening!
FLASH!
I let out a silent scream as the bright energy erupted out from me.
It ran down the coursing currents of my smoke and shot along the length of my sword.
ZAAAATT!
Nothing...
I opened my black eyes.
The 'bard' was gone.
All that remained was a silent, wet, wrecked Pub.
I panted...panted...panted...
And lowered my sword arm.
PLOP!
I lay bruised and ragged and wet in the splinters of the table.
Blinking.
Well then...
'Huzzah'...
"Nnnngh!"
I started.
I stumbled to my knees and stared across the bar.
At the one last table left standing, a drunken patron stirred. He hiccuped, pointed at the abandoned bar, and snapped his finger. "Bartender! Another one! Hic-On the rocks!"
Silence.
He frowned.
"Pfft...fine! Be that way! HIC! I know when I'm over the limit" PLOP! "ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz..."
I blinked.
I crawled over, picked up my damp shades, put them on, and shuddered.
All right...
I stood up.
Where was I?
I looked around.
The wrecked walls, ceiling, and floor.
The soggy splinters everywhere.
The chaos.
Nowhere...
I gazed out the bright interior.
The abandoned bike was still humming, sputtering.
Absolutely...nowhere.