By the way, this takes place after the whole messy Craig/Ash breakup
thingy.
Chapter Three: You're the Only One
After school I go to my co-op at Caitlin's talk show. That night I
was working on a current topic I was researching for her. Caitlin told me
that soon I'd even get to pick my own topic and report about it on camera.
How awesome is that? Right now, I'm just doing research, sitting in on
meetings, and learning the strings behind directing and producing. I've
always known I wanted to either do something in front or behind the camera
or teach so this opportunity kicked ass.
Except when you've been working for like three hours and it's the
weekend and you're boyfriend is waiting at his house for you... Then it can
be a bit torturous. Oh well, I had some music playing so it wasn't all so
bad. It helped me concentrate more. Unless I happened to look in the second
drawer of my desk and see all the sharp objects I had collected throughout
my time here- staples, scissors, tacks, and an exacto knife. I am so messed
up.
So I haven't completely stopped cutting yet. I haven't made any new
scars, though. I just reopen my old ones. That's a start. But I know
Ms.Suave is still worried about me since I canceled my counseling sessions
with her. She practically stalks me in the hallways. It was starting to get
seriously lame trying to avoid her and Paige and...
"Hey."
I jumped in my seat and a tack scattered across the floor. I hadn't
even noticed that I had opened "the drawer", picked out a tack, and had
been dragging it across my arm. Shit... And now Craig Manning was visiting me
for some odd reason. This was new.
I pulled my hoodie sleeves back down and spun around in my swivel
chair. My swivel chair that I have way too much fun with when I start to
get a bit hyper. "Um, hey... Craig..."
He pulled a chair from the wall over to my desk. "What are you
working on?"
I turned back towards the computer and tapped the desk. "It's a story
on juvenile delinquents. You know- crime, juvenile hall, crap like that.
I'm just doing some research."
He nodded, "That's really cool, Elle."
Elle? Since when did Craig call me Elle? We didn't exactly talk to
each other every night and tell each other are most deepest, darkest
secrets like Marco and I did... oh wait, no. That's not true either because
I'm keeping a whole past from Marco. I'm such a bad friend...
"You there, Ellie?"
I hadn't even realized I had blanked out again. I must stop this. And
soon.
"Sorry. What did you say?"
"I was just saying that I know you're probably confused that I'm here
and, like, talking to you. I had to drop some stuff off for Caitlin for
Joey, and I saw your door open. I just felt like coming in."
"Oh."
"Yeah..."
"Hmm..."
"So, how are things going with you and Sean?"
"They're fine."
"I can't believe you're with him."
Wow. Was it me or did Craig just sound incredibly pissed off?
"Excuse me? Why would you say that?"
Craig sighed, "I don't know. He's this total loser and you... well... you
deserve a lot better."
I snorted, "Yeah. I sure do. Listen, Sean's a really great guy."
"Yeah, I used to think so too. I mean, me and him were good friends
when I first moved here. But then things just changed and now he's this
huge jerk. What do you see in him?"
"It's "him and me", by the way. And first of all, you don't know him
as well as you think you do, and, second of all, it's none of your business
what I see in him or whatever. Okay?"
"Fine. You're right. But you could have any guy. I just don't see why
you would choose Sean."
I watched silently as Craig walked out of the room, closing the door
behind him. What did he mean I could have any guy? I'm like the biggest
loser in school. Obviously, Craig wasn't as smart as I thought.
I got home at 7:00pm. By this time, mom should be just about passed
out on the couch. If I'm lucky, I'll get a trashcan to her before she pukes
up everything she drank. She gets home at 5:00pm, so she's had a good two
hours to drink everything she can. Not including the tiny flask she keeps
in her purse. And probably the one she has in her desk at the firm. How
sad... What's even sadder is that I still like to drink although I've had to
watch my mom battle with it. What kind of daughter am I?
"Hi mom," I whispered as I covered her up with a blanket. Yep, she
was passed out. I would just get her settled in and then leave for Sean's.
I grabbed her designated trashcan and placed it near the couch before
softly brushing her bangs off her forehead.
I can remember when my mom and I connected. We had this great bond
between us, a great friendship. We'd always go shopping together-spending
insane amounts of money on shoes. She would always try and by me the
"popular" clothes while I always went for the more eclectic stuff. I can
remember the huge fight we had over whether or not I could get my belly
button pierced. It was at the summer before seventh grade and my dad said I
could, but my mom wouldn't even hear me out. She would yell at my dad for
never being able to say no to me. Finally, one day she picked me up from
school and surprised me by taking me to the piercing place. I was so happy.
I can remember thinking that was my mom actually cool that day.
I don't really like to think about it too much because it really
makes me sad. I guess she just got more popular as an interior designer and
had less and less time for me. The time I really knew that our bond was
gone was when I told her about me having sex for the first time and she
didn't hear a single word I had said. I was crying over that stupid guy and
she just went on as if I had said nothing.
Back to reality, though...
Sean's house is a pretty long walk from mine, but I enjoy the
exercise. I pass both Marco and Ashley's houses and sometimes I can see
into their windows and see them having a family dinner like they always do.
Not that dinner with Sean isn't great, but, well, you know. By the time I
reached Sean's it was nearing 8:00pm and pretty much dark outside.
"Hey Sean!" I called out as I walked through the front door. I set my
bag on the couch and took my coat off.
"I'm outside." I could hear Sean's voice coming through the back door
which was open a little bit.
What was he doing outside? "What are you do- Ohmigod..."
Sean had made this incredible candlelit picnic outside for us. I'm
talking the blanket, candles, pillows, and food. Okay, I've never really
admitted this to anyone yet, but I am this huge closet romantic. I mean,
come on, I get emotional during movies like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.
I think every girl is looking for her hero, even freaks like me.
Sean grabbed my hand lightly, "Do you like it?"
I smiled up at him, "I love it. Absolutely."
"Great. I'll admit right now, I didn't cook. I don't think I'm ready
for that big of a step yet."
"No problem. You haven't seen my cooking. I'm not kidding you. Third
world countries wouldn't eat my food. So who cooked it?"
"I had a little help from a few friends of yours."
I knew he meant Marco and Ashley because, well, they're my only
friends. Did I say Ashley was being a huge bitch before? If I did, I resent
that. This was an incredibly sweet thing to do, especially since I know
she's not too fond of Sean and me just yet. She's still a bit uncomfortable
about it although she's getting used to it.
Sean led me to my seat, "So we have some kind of pasta thing Marco
said you love, fruit salad, some other crap they made, and, for dessert,
voila, pez."
"Pez!" I laughed. "I love pez! Did Marco tell you that?"
Sean raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, he told me you were some kind of candy
freak?"
"More like addict. I'll eat any kind of candy. I especially like Pez.
But, give me bubblegum and you're in trouble."
"Why's that?"
"Serious addict. Not kidding. My parents like put me on therapy for
it at one point in my life." Hey... I actually admitted to someone I had been
on therapy once. Okay, so I didn't tell the whole story- just a tiny part
of it. But at least I had told some of the truth.
Sean chuckled, "Yeah. I had no idea my girlfriend was such a basket
case."
"I prefer the term neurotic."
"Yeah, neurotic and beautiful. Dangerous combination."
I blushed... big time. I'm still not used to people telling me I'm
beautiful. But when Sean says it, I can almost believe it.
So we ate dinner and talked and afterwards we just lay on the blanket
and looked at the stars. I pointed out different constellations to Sean. As
I was pointing out a cluster of stars, Sean wrapped his hand out around
mine and brought my fingers to his lips. I turned my head and looked him in
the eyes. Next thing I knew, he was kissing me and he still hadn't broken
eye contact with me. And it was intense eye contact. I could tell he really
wanted me.
When we kiss, Sean does something I really love. He cups my face with
both of his hands and we'll kiss for a while and then he'll break away and
place his forehead against mine and just look in my eyes for like ever and
then we'll kiss some more. I think my heart stops beating and I actually
stop breathing for a while there. How cliché sounding... That night Sean and
I had sex outside under the stars. It was breathtaking- in more ways than
one. And this is the moment when my life has seriously turned into just one
huge cliché. And I love it.
thingy.
Chapter Three: You're the Only One
After school I go to my co-op at Caitlin's talk show. That night I
was working on a current topic I was researching for her. Caitlin told me
that soon I'd even get to pick my own topic and report about it on camera.
How awesome is that? Right now, I'm just doing research, sitting in on
meetings, and learning the strings behind directing and producing. I've
always known I wanted to either do something in front or behind the camera
or teach so this opportunity kicked ass.
Except when you've been working for like three hours and it's the
weekend and you're boyfriend is waiting at his house for you... Then it can
be a bit torturous. Oh well, I had some music playing so it wasn't all so
bad. It helped me concentrate more. Unless I happened to look in the second
drawer of my desk and see all the sharp objects I had collected throughout
my time here- staples, scissors, tacks, and an exacto knife. I am so messed
up.
So I haven't completely stopped cutting yet. I haven't made any new
scars, though. I just reopen my old ones. That's a start. But I know
Ms.Suave is still worried about me since I canceled my counseling sessions
with her. She practically stalks me in the hallways. It was starting to get
seriously lame trying to avoid her and Paige and...
"Hey."
I jumped in my seat and a tack scattered across the floor. I hadn't
even noticed that I had opened "the drawer", picked out a tack, and had
been dragging it across my arm. Shit... And now Craig Manning was visiting me
for some odd reason. This was new.
I pulled my hoodie sleeves back down and spun around in my swivel
chair. My swivel chair that I have way too much fun with when I start to
get a bit hyper. "Um, hey... Craig..."
He pulled a chair from the wall over to my desk. "What are you
working on?"
I turned back towards the computer and tapped the desk. "It's a story
on juvenile delinquents. You know- crime, juvenile hall, crap like that.
I'm just doing some research."
He nodded, "That's really cool, Elle."
Elle? Since when did Craig call me Elle? We didn't exactly talk to
each other every night and tell each other are most deepest, darkest
secrets like Marco and I did... oh wait, no. That's not true either because
I'm keeping a whole past from Marco. I'm such a bad friend...
"You there, Ellie?"
I hadn't even realized I had blanked out again. I must stop this. And
soon.
"Sorry. What did you say?"
"I was just saying that I know you're probably confused that I'm here
and, like, talking to you. I had to drop some stuff off for Caitlin for
Joey, and I saw your door open. I just felt like coming in."
"Oh."
"Yeah..."
"Hmm..."
"So, how are things going with you and Sean?"
"They're fine."
"I can't believe you're with him."
Wow. Was it me or did Craig just sound incredibly pissed off?
"Excuse me? Why would you say that?"
Craig sighed, "I don't know. He's this total loser and you... well... you
deserve a lot better."
I snorted, "Yeah. I sure do. Listen, Sean's a really great guy."
"Yeah, I used to think so too. I mean, me and him were good friends
when I first moved here. But then things just changed and now he's this
huge jerk. What do you see in him?"
"It's "him and me", by the way. And first of all, you don't know him
as well as you think you do, and, second of all, it's none of your business
what I see in him or whatever. Okay?"
"Fine. You're right. But you could have any guy. I just don't see why
you would choose Sean."
I watched silently as Craig walked out of the room, closing the door
behind him. What did he mean I could have any guy? I'm like the biggest
loser in school. Obviously, Craig wasn't as smart as I thought.
I got home at 7:00pm. By this time, mom should be just about passed
out on the couch. If I'm lucky, I'll get a trashcan to her before she pukes
up everything she drank. She gets home at 5:00pm, so she's had a good two
hours to drink everything she can. Not including the tiny flask she keeps
in her purse. And probably the one she has in her desk at the firm. How
sad... What's even sadder is that I still like to drink although I've had to
watch my mom battle with it. What kind of daughter am I?
"Hi mom," I whispered as I covered her up with a blanket. Yep, she
was passed out. I would just get her settled in and then leave for Sean's.
I grabbed her designated trashcan and placed it near the couch before
softly brushing her bangs off her forehead.
I can remember when my mom and I connected. We had this great bond
between us, a great friendship. We'd always go shopping together-spending
insane amounts of money on shoes. She would always try and by me the
"popular" clothes while I always went for the more eclectic stuff. I can
remember the huge fight we had over whether or not I could get my belly
button pierced. It was at the summer before seventh grade and my dad said I
could, but my mom wouldn't even hear me out. She would yell at my dad for
never being able to say no to me. Finally, one day she picked me up from
school and surprised me by taking me to the piercing place. I was so happy.
I can remember thinking that was my mom actually cool that day.
I don't really like to think about it too much because it really
makes me sad. I guess she just got more popular as an interior designer and
had less and less time for me. The time I really knew that our bond was
gone was when I told her about me having sex for the first time and she
didn't hear a single word I had said. I was crying over that stupid guy and
she just went on as if I had said nothing.
Back to reality, though...
Sean's house is a pretty long walk from mine, but I enjoy the
exercise. I pass both Marco and Ashley's houses and sometimes I can see
into their windows and see them having a family dinner like they always do.
Not that dinner with Sean isn't great, but, well, you know. By the time I
reached Sean's it was nearing 8:00pm and pretty much dark outside.
"Hey Sean!" I called out as I walked through the front door. I set my
bag on the couch and took my coat off.
"I'm outside." I could hear Sean's voice coming through the back door
which was open a little bit.
What was he doing outside? "What are you do- Ohmigod..."
Sean had made this incredible candlelit picnic outside for us. I'm
talking the blanket, candles, pillows, and food. Okay, I've never really
admitted this to anyone yet, but I am this huge closet romantic. I mean,
come on, I get emotional during movies like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.
I think every girl is looking for her hero, even freaks like me.
Sean grabbed my hand lightly, "Do you like it?"
I smiled up at him, "I love it. Absolutely."
"Great. I'll admit right now, I didn't cook. I don't think I'm ready
for that big of a step yet."
"No problem. You haven't seen my cooking. I'm not kidding you. Third
world countries wouldn't eat my food. So who cooked it?"
"I had a little help from a few friends of yours."
I knew he meant Marco and Ashley because, well, they're my only
friends. Did I say Ashley was being a huge bitch before? If I did, I resent
that. This was an incredibly sweet thing to do, especially since I know
she's not too fond of Sean and me just yet. She's still a bit uncomfortable
about it although she's getting used to it.
Sean led me to my seat, "So we have some kind of pasta thing Marco
said you love, fruit salad, some other crap they made, and, for dessert,
voila, pez."
"Pez!" I laughed. "I love pez! Did Marco tell you that?"
Sean raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, he told me you were some kind of candy
freak?"
"More like addict. I'll eat any kind of candy. I especially like Pez.
But, give me bubblegum and you're in trouble."
"Why's that?"
"Serious addict. Not kidding. My parents like put me on therapy for
it at one point in my life." Hey... I actually admitted to someone I had been
on therapy once. Okay, so I didn't tell the whole story- just a tiny part
of it. But at least I had told some of the truth.
Sean chuckled, "Yeah. I had no idea my girlfriend was such a basket
case."
"I prefer the term neurotic."
"Yeah, neurotic and beautiful. Dangerous combination."
I blushed... big time. I'm still not used to people telling me I'm
beautiful. But when Sean says it, I can almost believe it.
So we ate dinner and talked and afterwards we just lay on the blanket
and looked at the stars. I pointed out different constellations to Sean. As
I was pointing out a cluster of stars, Sean wrapped his hand out around
mine and brought my fingers to his lips. I turned my head and looked him in
the eyes. Next thing I knew, he was kissing me and he still hadn't broken
eye contact with me. And it was intense eye contact. I could tell he really
wanted me.
When we kiss, Sean does something I really love. He cups my face with
both of his hands and we'll kiss for a while and then he'll break away and
place his forehead against mine and just look in my eyes for like ever and
then we'll kiss some more. I think my heart stops beating and I actually
stop breathing for a while there. How cliché sounding... That night Sean and
I had sex outside under the stars. It was breathtaking- in more ways than
one. And this is the moment when my life has seriously turned into just one
huge cliché. And I love it.