Changes

Chapter 14

Spoilers: Forgive and Forget

Author's Note: Sorry for such a long wait, I hope people are still reading this story!!


A doctor…

A doctor is someone that is supposed to help a patient. Why didn't I see that he needed some serious help? I started to think about everything that had happened that day, but then I decided that I wasn't going to let this bug me, sometimes you get patients and you can't see anything wrong with them, but you know that there has to be something wrong somewhere.  You just can't help them because you don't know what the problem is. I guess that's what happened with this case. There was nothing different I could have done to prevent this. How I was supposed to know that he was going to get a tank?

Carter then walked up to me. "Wow." I looked at him. "Yeah. Wow."

"Well, at least the ER's slow," Carter said.

"Closed to traumas, closed to transfers, closed to ambulances. Thank you, Dr. Morris," Chuny said, coming up behind us.

Then she left, leaving me and Carter alone. Ever since John got back from Africa with Kem, we haven't really talked to each other, only as co- workers. It is taking some getting used to, but I realize that is how it is going to be. I'm not sure if John and I will ever go back to being best friends. There's just too much history between us.


Carter turned to me. "Hey, I.R. called about, uh, Mr. Rojas, the driver that he hit. They

repaired a small retroperitoneal bleeder. He's going to be fine."

"What about his son?" I asked.

"Still in surgery." Carter said.

"I pulled his charts. The tank guy. Back strain, broken finger, nosebleed, five psych consults but no admissions, distant history of cocaine and amphetamine abuse…" I listed.

"Probably nothing that would have convinced a psych resident to give him a bed." Carter said.

"He had pressured speech, paranoia, delusions of grandeur..." I continued, trying to tell myself that psych would have taken him if I had called them.

"Abby," Carter said, like he was trying to tell me that there was nothing I could have done.

"I missed a drug- induced psychosis."

"Psych saw him five times. He never met admission criteria. Don't beat yourself up over this," he told me.

"I'm not beating myself up. The guy came here looking for help, and I let him go. That's what happened."

The guy came here wanting help, and we didn't give him any. I'm not beating myself up for it, but I just feel bad because I'm a med student, and I was unable to help my patient. He came to the hospital for a reason, and I failed him.

**

Later,

Carter, Morris and I were in the trauma room, working on the tank guy. "Okay, let's prep for a chest tube."

"Okay, I'll do the chest tube," Morris said.

I couldn't believe what I just heard. Morris was the reason that this guy is in the situation. "No! Carter, he's not doing it," I said.

Carter looked at me, like I couldn't tell him what to do, which is true since he is the chief resident and I am just a med student, but at the same time I think I know Morris is. "He was my patient," Morris said as he tried to justify himself.

"Yeah he was and looked what happened," I said.

There was silence as Carter thought for a moment. "Morris is up." I looked at Carter and returned his expressionless stare as I continued on with my work and helped Morris get ready. There was nothing more I could say. This was Morris's patient.



**

A few hours later,

I walked out of the hospital when I saw Carter sitting on the bench. "Hey." He looked up at me.

"Going home?"

I nodded, as I sat down next to him. "I didn't mean to snap at you in the trauma, but I just didn't think Morris should have been working on him in there."

"I'm the chief resident and Morris is a resident. I had to let him help. It is the only way he is going to learn," Carter said. I looked at Carter. I understood why he had to let Morris help. I just lost my temper in the trauma room.

I stood up. "Well I have to get home."

"Do you have some studying to do?"

I nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I walked away.


**
I walked into the apartment and saw that my answering machine was blinking. I pressed the button, and listened to the message. It was from Maggie, who wanted to make sure that I was okay, since she heard that there was a tank coming towards the hospital. I guess she didn't watch all the news to hear that nobody from the hospital was hurt. I took my jacket off and walked to the living room.

I sat down on the couch and laid my head on the pillow. What a day I had. You never know working at Cook County General Hospital what the day is going to bring. Even since I have worked there, there have been many incidents, most recently before today the helicopter that fell on Doctor Romano.


I turned the tv, and started going through the channels to see what was on, I just wanted to forgot about another crazy day at County General.