Chapter 4: Broken
I woke up the next morning to Sean running his hand through my hair.
I immediately smiled and wrapped the sheet tighter around my body. He just
smiled back at me and then kissed my forehead. "I have to go work on Mr.
Simpson's car. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I'll leave soon."
Sean stood up and nodded. "You can stay as long as you want. I'll
call you later."
I closed my eyes and turned onto my side. I felt incredible. I had
never gotten so much sleep before. It must have been because I was with
Sean. I feel comfortable around him. I stole a glance at the clock and
gasped. It was already 11:30. Wow... My mom would be awake by now and yeah...
This was not good.
I jumped out of bed and threw my clothes on. I'm sure I looked like I
had spent the night having sex. My mom would be able to tell the minute I
walked in. But she wasn't able to tell. Because she was too busy drinking.
I closed the door behind me as I kept an eye on her form. Filling shot
glasses up, taking a shot, and then repeating. Over and over again. She
looked like hell. Her hair was matted on one side and her eyes were rimmed
with red. Like she had been crying all night or something. It was too
pathetic to watch.
I hurried and ran upstairs to take a shower. Then when I came out, my
mom would be passed out and I could spend the entire day worrying before I
went out with Marco later on. I couldn't wait... Ah, sarcasm.
I wrapped myself up in my fluffy bathrobe after I got out of the
shower. My hair had grown so long. At least three inches. I ran a pick
through it before I came out of my bathroom... and face to face with Marco.
"Marco!" What was he doing here? He'd never been to my house before.
I never invited him. I mean- what would he think seeing my house? Probably
that I was such poor little rich girl. And my mom! What must he have
thought when he saw her?
"Hey Elle..."
"What are you doing here?"
"You said we would do something today."
"Yeah, but now right now. And not here..."
Marco sat down on my bed. He didn't look fazed. A little confused but
maybe that was because I was acting like a nervous wreck. Like I had
something to hide. Like he hadn't already seen the half dozen empty liquor
bottles downstairs. Four of which belonged to my mother. The other two...
well... I had a hard week. A couple of shots a night before I tried to go to
bed was the normal routine.
"You've got a really cool room, Elle. Why don't you lay next to me?"
Why was Marco such a good guy? Seriously. He is the sweetest thing on
this planet. I'm so lucky to even know him. I sat down on my bed and leaned
back into my pillows. Marco just lay next to me, breathing heavily. Then he
told me.
"I came out to my parents."
My eyes opened wide and I turned my head. Marco looked so scared, but
also somewhat at peace. I sat up and grabbed his hand and placed it in my
lap. "And?" I prompted as I squeezed his hand.
He lifted the corner of his mouth in a tiny smile. "They didn't kill
me. I mean, they're pretty shocked. I'm their son. The one with the "sexy
girlfriend", as Carlos likes to put it." Yeah, Marco still hadn't told his
parents that we had broken up. "They told me it would take some time to get
used to, but they're glad I told them- that I'm not hiding it anymore. I
was so scared of what papa would think. I told him, he stared at me, and
then he grabbed me in a huge hug. My father hugged me... Can you believe it?"
Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't help it. I hadn't been hugged since
my father left. And Marco... God, he was so brave. He actually just told his
parents that he was gay. I couldn't believe he had worked up the nerve. I
was so proud of him. "That's wonderful, Marco. I'm so happy for you."
Marco sat back up. He took his finger and wiped at my eyelashes.
"You're crying. Why are you crying?"
I sighed. How embarrassing... "Because I'm happy for you. Now you can
be fully happy."
Marco broke out into a huge grin and touched his forehead to mine. "I
know. You have no idea." Then he hugged me.
He was right. I didn't have any idea. I've never felt fully happy.
By that night, as we walked along the main street with our ice
creams, Marco still hadn't mentioned anything about my house or my mom. I
know he had seen her. As we walked out of my house he had stolen a glance
at her. Why wasn't he saying anything?
"Ellie?"
Okay, here we go.
"Hmm?" I looked up at him.
He laughed. "You have ice cream on your nose." Oh God...
He then kissed it off for me. I rolled my eyes. "You're such a
player."
"I'm a pimp."
"Oh yeah..."
We sat down on an empty bench near the park. Marco looked at me
again. This time seriously. "Your house is huge."
I nearly choked on my ice cream- wait, was that possible? To choke on
ice cream? Well, if it wasn't before, it was now. "Yeah. So it is."
"Don't get all defensive. I'm just stating a fact. I've never been to
your house before. You never invited me. Why not?"
I slumped, "I don't know. I didn't know what you'd think. I thought
you would think that I was spoiled or something."
Marco licked his cone. "You always say you don't care what people
think. Really, you do. Way too much, in fact."
I huffed. Leave it to Marco to say something like that. "Hey, Ellie,
I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying that you could stand to care a
little less."
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I think it depends a lot on who it is
too. Of course I care what you think. You're my best friend. You're
everything and I don't want to lose that."
Marco leaned his head on mine. "You'd never lose me."
"Thanks," I whispered. Suddenly I became way interested in my ice
cream cone and trying not to cry.
"So you're mom seemed out of it today."
"She's always out of it at home."
"Really?"
"Marco... my mom... she doesn't take my dad leaving very well. At all."
Marco nodded silently. I went on, "She can't control herself when
he's not here. She loves him very much. It hurts too much so she drinks. A
lot. It's like she's broken and..." I choked back a sob.
Marco put an arm around me. "It's okay, Ellie. You don't have to talk
about it anymore."
So I cried.
I woke up the next morning to Sean running his hand through my hair.
I immediately smiled and wrapped the sheet tighter around my body. He just
smiled back at me and then kissed my forehead. "I have to go work on Mr.
Simpson's car. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I'll leave soon."
Sean stood up and nodded. "You can stay as long as you want. I'll
call you later."
I closed my eyes and turned onto my side. I felt incredible. I had
never gotten so much sleep before. It must have been because I was with
Sean. I feel comfortable around him. I stole a glance at the clock and
gasped. It was already 11:30. Wow... My mom would be awake by now and yeah...
This was not good.
I jumped out of bed and threw my clothes on. I'm sure I looked like I
had spent the night having sex. My mom would be able to tell the minute I
walked in. But she wasn't able to tell. Because she was too busy drinking.
I closed the door behind me as I kept an eye on her form. Filling shot
glasses up, taking a shot, and then repeating. Over and over again. She
looked like hell. Her hair was matted on one side and her eyes were rimmed
with red. Like she had been crying all night or something. It was too
pathetic to watch.
I hurried and ran upstairs to take a shower. Then when I came out, my
mom would be passed out and I could spend the entire day worrying before I
went out with Marco later on. I couldn't wait... Ah, sarcasm.
I wrapped myself up in my fluffy bathrobe after I got out of the
shower. My hair had grown so long. At least three inches. I ran a pick
through it before I came out of my bathroom... and face to face with Marco.
"Marco!" What was he doing here? He'd never been to my house before.
I never invited him. I mean- what would he think seeing my house? Probably
that I was such poor little rich girl. And my mom! What must he have
thought when he saw her?
"Hey Elle..."
"What are you doing here?"
"You said we would do something today."
"Yeah, but now right now. And not here..."
Marco sat down on my bed. He didn't look fazed. A little confused but
maybe that was because I was acting like a nervous wreck. Like I had
something to hide. Like he hadn't already seen the half dozen empty liquor
bottles downstairs. Four of which belonged to my mother. The other two...
well... I had a hard week. A couple of shots a night before I tried to go to
bed was the normal routine.
"You've got a really cool room, Elle. Why don't you lay next to me?"
Why was Marco such a good guy? Seriously. He is the sweetest thing on
this planet. I'm so lucky to even know him. I sat down on my bed and leaned
back into my pillows. Marco just lay next to me, breathing heavily. Then he
told me.
"I came out to my parents."
My eyes opened wide and I turned my head. Marco looked so scared, but
also somewhat at peace. I sat up and grabbed his hand and placed it in my
lap. "And?" I prompted as I squeezed his hand.
He lifted the corner of his mouth in a tiny smile. "They didn't kill
me. I mean, they're pretty shocked. I'm their son. The one with the "sexy
girlfriend", as Carlos likes to put it." Yeah, Marco still hadn't told his
parents that we had broken up. "They told me it would take some time to get
used to, but they're glad I told them- that I'm not hiding it anymore. I
was so scared of what papa would think. I told him, he stared at me, and
then he grabbed me in a huge hug. My father hugged me... Can you believe it?"
Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't help it. I hadn't been hugged since
my father left. And Marco... God, he was so brave. He actually just told his
parents that he was gay. I couldn't believe he had worked up the nerve. I
was so proud of him. "That's wonderful, Marco. I'm so happy for you."
Marco sat back up. He took his finger and wiped at my eyelashes.
"You're crying. Why are you crying?"
I sighed. How embarrassing... "Because I'm happy for you. Now you can
be fully happy."
Marco broke out into a huge grin and touched his forehead to mine. "I
know. You have no idea." Then he hugged me.
He was right. I didn't have any idea. I've never felt fully happy.
By that night, as we walked along the main street with our ice
creams, Marco still hadn't mentioned anything about my house or my mom. I
know he had seen her. As we walked out of my house he had stolen a glance
at her. Why wasn't he saying anything?
"Ellie?"
Okay, here we go.
"Hmm?" I looked up at him.
He laughed. "You have ice cream on your nose." Oh God...
He then kissed it off for me. I rolled my eyes. "You're such a
player."
"I'm a pimp."
"Oh yeah..."
We sat down on an empty bench near the park. Marco looked at me
again. This time seriously. "Your house is huge."
I nearly choked on my ice cream- wait, was that possible? To choke on
ice cream? Well, if it wasn't before, it was now. "Yeah. So it is."
"Don't get all defensive. I'm just stating a fact. I've never been to
your house before. You never invited me. Why not?"
I slumped, "I don't know. I didn't know what you'd think. I thought
you would think that I was spoiled or something."
Marco licked his cone. "You always say you don't care what people
think. Really, you do. Way too much, in fact."
I huffed. Leave it to Marco to say something like that. "Hey, Ellie,
I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying that you could stand to care a
little less."
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I think it depends a lot on who it is
too. Of course I care what you think. You're my best friend. You're
everything and I don't want to lose that."
Marco leaned his head on mine. "You'd never lose me."
"Thanks," I whispered. Suddenly I became way interested in my ice
cream cone and trying not to cry.
"So you're mom seemed out of it today."
"She's always out of it at home."
"Really?"
"Marco... my mom... she doesn't take my dad leaving very well. At all."
Marco nodded silently. I went on, "She can't control herself when
he's not here. She loves him very much. It hurts too much so she drinks. A
lot. It's like she's broken and..." I choked back a sob.
Marco put an arm around me. "It's okay, Ellie. You don't have to talk
about it anymore."
So I cried.