Spoilers: The Student

Summary: Abby finds she can change and grow from the many things that happen to her, both good and bad. A post episode series for Season 10.
Author's Note: For a change, this post episode is going to be what happened after the show.
Changes

Chapter 15

"Would you like another cup of coffee miss?" the waitress asked me at Ike's.
I looked up at her. "Yes, please."

I was waiting for Neela to show up. After my shift ended, I'd run into her, and I knew that she needed a friend to talk to after the day that she had, so I told her to meet me in half an hour. That was about 35 minutes ago.

It was such a hard day for her. I don't know what I would have done in the same situation. Being a nurse, I have seen attendings and doctors mess up as well. Sometimes these things happen, and you kill a patient. You don't want it to happen, but it does.

Suddenly someone said my name and I looked up to see Neela standing in front of me. I stood up and hugged her. "Hey, how are you doing?"

She sat down. "How do you feel when you kill your patient?"

I looked at her. "These things happen, Neela. How were you supposed to know that the drugs were going to have that effect on him?"

"I should have waited to hear back from the nursing home about what drugs he took. It is my fault that this man is dead."

I looked at Neela and could tell how upset she was. I wasn't sure what exactly to say to her. The only thing I could say was, "You'll take this mistake and learn from it."

Neela smiled. "I guess I should. Are you sure you are a med student?"

I laughed. "Sometimes I don't feel like I am a med student."

Suddenly the waitress showed up. "Would you like anything else?"

"I'll just have a refill," I said, handing her my coffee.

"I'll have a vodka," Neela told the waitress.

"Do you remember what happened last time you had a drink?" I laughed. Neela looked at me. "Yes I do, but after the day I've had, I think I need one."

A few hours later.

"So I think it is time for us to leave, it looks like they are going to close," I said.

Neela looked at me. "How do you know this is the right place for you? I mean working in medicine."

"You just know. I know today was a hard day for you, but you are going to be
a great doctor."

Neela stood up. "Yeah, if I don't kill all my patients."

"I think you've just had a few too many drinks," I said as we left Ikes.

"Do you need a ride home?" I asked. Neela shook her head. "No, I'm going to
take the El home. I'll see you tomorrow."

I watched as Neela walked away from me. I started to walk to my car and thought of everything that happened that day with Neela. She was so confused about being a doctor, but I remember a time when I was too. When I was just a nurse and had gotten kicked out of med school. Now I am about to become a doctor. It's quite a change from what I used to be.

I opened the door and picked up my mail, walked into the apartment and
saw that there were messages on my answering machine.

I pressed the button on the answering machine and was putting the kettle on, when I suddenly heard Neela's voice. I turned around and listened.

"Abby, it's me, Neela. I just wanted to thank you for meeting me. I still can't believe what happened today. But thanks again, I'll see you at work tomorrow! Let's just hope I don't kill anyone. Bye!"

I laughed at Neela's message. I guess she is still a little drunk, I thought as I opened up the fridge, and started to make a sandwich.

As I walked over to the living room, I started to think of everything that happened that day.

The day all started when Carter told Neela to be more assertive, and I think she tried a little too much. I understand why Carter pushed Neela, as being the attending, he saw that she was more a book person than a hands on person and he just want her to get more hands on experience.

But as a med student myself, I understand how stressful it can be. You are trying to show everyone that you are going to make a great doctor and the only way you can do that is to do hands on experience, and I think that is why Neela did what she did. She wanted to show everybody that she was good at being a doctor both academic and hands on.

I remember when I was first a med student many years ago. I felt the same way. I wanted to show everybody that I was good at being a doctor. But this time it is very different as working as a nurse for so many years have helped me. I think I'm better at working with patients now as a person. Medically I don't know that much more than I did before, but knowing how to deal with patients and situations is half of the job, and that's something I think I've gotten good at.

Then there is Gallant, I know that everybody thinks what Gallant did was wrong, but I think I understand why he did what he did. He saw that Neela made a mistake, since she was pushing too hard, so he decided to tell everybody that he did it, since he knew if they found out that Neela made a mistake, she would be kicked out of med school, and he didn't want to see that happen. I don't know if that was the right thing to do, but I see why he did it.

I'm going to be a intern, but would I do the same thing? I don't know.

I picked up my plate, and placed it on the counter where my textbook was lying. I picked it up and grinned.

Dr. Lockhart. If something told me months ago that I would be going back to med school, I would have laughed, but here I am working towards becoming a doctor. I laid the book back on the counter and walked into the bedroom.

To be continued