Chapter 6: Something in the Way
Mondays... I hate them. At least today I do. Monday is the signal that
the weekend is over and another week of school is about to begin. It
wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel like such a loser. First of all that
fight with Paige and Terri at the Dot and then Marco and Ashley not even
like acting like a friend towards me. They didn't even call me that night
to talk. Marco always calls me, like, every night to talk. Was I slowly
losing all my friends?
I stepped out of the shower and rubbed the fog off of my mirror. I
looked like such a little girl without my makeup on. Like, not even pushing
eight. How gross. I sat in front of my vanity in my underwear and went to
work on my hair and makeup. I grabbed the new sparkly gold/bronze eye
shadow I had splurged on at the mall after the encounter at the Dot. Retail
therapy always works. This color would look seriously hot.
As I did my eyes I thought back to when I was younger. Ever since I
could remember I had been obsessed with makeup and fashion. I used to
videotape myself playing fashion consultant. My dad would laugh as I'd lie
out three possible outfits and then pick which one was the best because,
looking back, I dressed in some pretty weird stuff. I was especially fond
of this Lakers jersey my dad had bought me, this white frilly skirt, hot
pink tights, and my mom's stiletto heels. I was such a nerd. No wonder I
had no friends. But my parents were great. They'd let me wear whatever I
wanted. Even if it meant my tiara or a sheet wrapped around my neck like
superman. How many other dads would let their daughter give them a makeover-
complete with eye shadow, blush, and lipstick?
I laughed out loud at the image of my dad after one of my famous
makeovers. Wow, I had actually laughed. It's kind of depressing when you
are surprised by your laugh. Like you've forgotten what it sounded like.
That thought put a damper on my mood. I added a bunch more eyeliner to make
up for it.
I decided on an emerald green silk dress over a pair of jeans. Paired
with my Gucci motorcycle boots, arm warmers, and this amazing multicolored
vintage belt, I looked like a whole different person. Maybe the day
wouldn't suck so much. As I put on my belt, I noticed that I had to tighten
it a bit more. I looked in the mirror again and noticed that the top of the
dress didn't really fit me anymore. It kind of hung off in a way. I rubbed
my hand along my collarbone. I hadn't really eaten anything at all the day
before. My stomach had hurt so badly and nothing had sounded good to me.
I'd just make up for it today.
I grabbed my backpack and the toast my mom held out on my way out the
door. Hmm... apricot jam, not my favorite... I kind of just stared at the toast
as I walked along the streets on my way to school. How many calories did
jam have anyway? Maybe I'd just scrape it off and eat the toast plain. Or I
could just...
"Okay, so you're pissed at me. You have every right to be. I acted
like a jackass, and..."
I looked over to my side and noticed Marco. "Marco?"
He looked at me sheepishly, "Yeah, Ellie?"
"How long have you been walking with me?"
"For like two blocks now. I've been talking, haven't you heard
anything I've said?"
"No..." Then I remembered his look of pity yesterday and a flash of
anger came over me. "And I don't want to hear anything you have to say!"
Marco grabbed my arm and stopped me. "Well, I'm sorry. I can't really
do anything now, but I'm sorry."
I glared at him a bit longer and then just gave it up. This was Marco
after all. "It's okay. I'm over it."
"Yay." Marco shouted childishly. I gave him a look and he laughed. He
knew I hated it when he did his whole baby talk thing. Actually, I loved
it. It would be so annoying if anyone else did it, but it's Marco and I
used to be in love with him.
We walked up the steps to school and I was already dreading the
excuses Ashley would probably give to me. Maybe I'd make her squirm a bit
more before I forgave her. Or not. I couldn't really afford to lose any
friends. "Looking good, Nash."
Ashley threw an arm around my shoulder. Okay. Maybe she didn't
realize how bad of a friend she had been yesterday. I'd let it slide this
time. "Thanks, Kerwin."
All of a sudden we were handed this packet of papers. Oh great. It
was the superlatives. Ashley and Marco started shrieking like little girls
and immediately started to read them out loud. "Nicest rack- Hazel Aden,"
Marco shrieked. I raised an eyebrow... totally saw that one coming. When
you're as flat as me, you happen to notice it when girls are actually lucky
enough to have something that fills out like a C cup. Me, I won't even
disclose my size to anybody in fear that I'll be mocked for the rest of my
life or given some stupid nickname. "Aww, Ashley! You got most unique!"
Most unique? Are they kidding? Ashley wears just about anything, as
long as she saw a model wear it first in like Seventeen magazine or
something. She's about as unique as apple pie. Whatever, everyone adored
her so I should have guessed.
Ashley nudged my shoulder, "You got Most Artistic."
I nodded. I pretty much already knew that. "Get to the juicy stuff!"
Marco flipped to the next page and laughed. "Biggest slut... yeah..."
I grabbed the paper. "So? Who got it?"
I looked down. ME? I had gotten Biggest Slut. Since when?! I
scrunched my eyebrows and looked up at Ashley and Marco. "Me?"
Ashley rocked back and forth, "Well... you and Sean do kind of... flaunt
it."
"Flaunt what?"
"Well... that you guys are having sex."
I coughed. "WHAT?" I screeched. Okay, so Sean and I had had our share
of steamy make out sessions in the hallway, but it wasn't like I was going
down on him in the hallway or anything.
"Why would you say that we're having sex?"
"Oh come on, El. Every one knows it."
"How?"
Marco shot a nervous glance at me before giving Ashley a death glare.
I pieced it together. "YOU TOLD THEM?"
Marco threw his hands up. "I'm sorry. Okay, it just slipped out. I
mean, we were talking about it and how Jody Thomas had it and then I just
sort of blabbed."
"So how come Jody doesn't have it anymore?"
"I guess Spinner and then changed it. Or told someone to. I don't
know."
I rolled my eyes. I was seething. I didn't want to be known as the
school slut just because I was a little more mature than everyone else.
There really wasn't anything I could do about it now though. "Read the next
one."
Marco went through a couple more. "Biggest Bitch- El..." He abruptly
stopped.
I looked over at him. "Who got it?"
Ashley giggled, "I'm sure it doesn't matter. Okay?"
I fumed. "It's me, right? I'm the Biggest Bitch. Spinner said it at
the Dot, right? This is great. So I'm the biggest slut and bitch in 10th
grade."
"Hey, and Most Artistic." Marco pointed out helpfully.
"I don't think anyone's going to remember that one." I stalked off,
keeping my eyes to the ground.
table and then leaned in to kiss me. I stopped him. "Don't."
"What's wrong?"
"You must not have heard. I got biggest slut and biggest bitch in the
superlatives."
"The school ones?"
"NO. Just the dumb ones that we vote on unofficially. They're a bit
more risqué than the school would allow. Obviously, I'm a bit more risqué..."
Sean rubbed my arm, "It's okay. Who cares about those dumb things
anyway?"
"Everyone. Everyone's been staring at me. You'd think they'd be
looking at Hazel's chest, but no..."
"Well, can you blame them? You're a bit nicer to look at." He gave me
one of his charming smiles before taking a bite of a sandwich.
I sighed. "Thanks, but I don't believe you. Anyway, I'm not in the
mood to talk about it anymore."
"So what are you doing?"
I put my pen down and closed my notebook. "I was just taking notes
for my next class."
"Don't you do that in class?"
"Yeah, but I like to be ahead. In control, you know?"
Sean shook his head. "No, I don't know. Lunch is social time. So get
social with me."
I smirked, "And I thought you were antisocial..."
Sean wiggled his eyebrows and kissed my shoulder. I had to will
myself not to give in. "So... I was thinking. I could pick you up after your
co-op, we could go back to your place, fool around, and then you can help
me study for my biology test tomorrow."
"Sure, but let's do it at your place."
"Why do we always have to go to my place?"
"Um, because you live on your own. No parents."
"You said you're mom is always working. Plus, your dad is in Kabul.
I've never been to your house."
"I know. It's just that..."
"It's not like it could be any worse than my house. Is it small?"
I laughed inside. No. More like insanely huge. I sighed. He was going
to see it sooner or later, right? "Fine. Meet me at the studio."
Sean smiled. "Great, I can't wait." Yeah... me neither.This was it. I fiddled with the doorknob to my house for a second.
Anything to give me time. "Come on, Ellie. It's getting cold out here."
I looked at Sean standing on the stoop. He was getting impatient. I
inhaled sharply as I turned the knob and opened the door. I closed my eyes
and waited for him to question why my mother was puking her guts out on the
couch.
"Awesome. And I thought it was great from the outside." WHAT? I
opened my eyes and blinked. My mom wasn't on the couch. So where was she?
In her bedroom, did she actually make it to the bathroom, where was she? I
sheepishly looked over at Sean admiring the house. He didn't seem upset at
all that I lived in a mansion. In fact, he thought it pretty cool. Sean
noticed me staring at him and gave me a small smile.
"I had no idea you lived in a mansion."
"I don't really make it known."
Sean wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up so I was
taller than him. I reached down and kissed him as he carried me to the
armchair. As he sat down in the chair, I straddled him and concentrated on
kissing his neck. And inhaling he smell of his cologne that he had only
started to wear once we had officially decided to go steady. I loved how he
did things that like to impress me. Sure, he was the same hard-ass Sean
that everyone was scared of at school, but when we were alone, he was
different. He acted like I was the only girl in the world.
I giggled as Sean reached for the button to my jeans and started to
undo it. I had never fooled around in my living room before. Let alone
where my mom could walk in on us any second. Wherever she was... His hands
slid down my back and came around the front as he started to slide my jeans
down and... The telephone rang.
And rang. And rang... "Dammit," I whispered.
"It's okay. Answer it."
I threw an apologetic look as I ran for the phone. "Hello? Dad!
Great! Yeah, totally. You? That's great. Yeah? Oh... Yeah... I see... No! I'm
fine. Yeah. Totally fine. Just great. Great! Okay. I"ll tell mom you
called. So, talk to you later. Love you. Buh bye."
I couldn't even hang up the phone. It was like, if I hung up that
phone, I might never talk to my dad again. Sean came over to me when he
realized I wasn't moving. "Are you okay?"
I looked up at him. He looked so worried. I realized I must have been
scaring him. Not saying anything. Just staring at the phone in my hands. I
forced a smile. "I'm fine."
"What was that about?"
I hung up the phone. "My dad. He's through with the peace mission."
Sean grinned, "That's great!"
"Yeah..."
"So when is he coming home?"
I leaned against the refrigerator. "He's not. He's finished with the
peace mission because now it's a war." Just saying the words knocked the
breath out of me. I slid down the door to the refrigerator to the tiled
floor. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't blink. I didn't even feel it when
Sean kneeled in front of me and rubbed my arms.
"It's going to be okay. Don't cry." I hadn't even realized I had been
crying. I put my fingers to my cheeks but I couldn't even feel the tears.
But Sean just kept wiping at my cheeks and telling me to not cry. And all I
could do was imagine never seeing my father again.