Chapter 7: Everybody Hurts
This part of the story is written in third-person to give more insight to
what the other characters are thinking.
Dot. Him, Spinner, Dylan, Paige, Hazel, and Jimmy were all having dinner
there that night. He looked over at Dylan, who was busy telling the group a
story about gym class that day, and smiled. He felt really happy and wished
everyone could be as happy as he was.
"Hey Ash!" Marco heard Paige call out and looked over. Sure enough
Ashley was on her way over to the booth. "Where's Craig?"
"Eh, he got stuck babysitting Angie. So we had to cancel our date
tonight."
"That sucks."
"Yeah."
After awhile the conversation turned to the superlatives they had all
received that day. Hazel seemed quite proud of her Best Rack nod, as did
Jimmy. Paige flipped her hair over her shoulder and leaned in towards
Marco. "So how did Ellie take the superlatives?"
Marco quickly swallowed his food and grimaced. "Not well. At all."
"Yeah, she was quite pissed," Ashley piped in. "But maybe it'll help
her see that she could stand to be a bit nicer to everyone."
"She's not that bad, you guys," Jimmy put in. He looked at Hazel and
she smiled. After all, they had seen a different side of Ellie the day of
detention.
"Why do you guys always defend her now?" Spinner shook his head in
amazement while pouring ketchup on his fries.
Hazel shrugged, "Detention has a way of bringing everyone closer.
Especially when you have to watch Radditch exercise. Gross!"
The gang laughed as Hazel did the impression of the sick display she
had seen. No one noticed as Sean walked into the café and stood by Marco's
shoulder. Marco looked up and immediately saw the concerned expression on
Sean's face and excused himself. "What's up, Sean?"
Sean stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. "It's
Ellie. She got some really bad news today and she's pretty bad off."
Marco's eyes widened at the sound of Ellie's name. Sure, they didn't
go out anymore and things were sometimes strained between them because of
Dylan, but Marco cared about Ellie more than he'd ever cared about anyone.
If she was hurting, he had to do something. "What happened?"
Sean rubbed his eyes and sighed, "She got a call from her dad. It's
turned into a war over there."
Marco gasped and looked away. He had never met Ellie's dad, but the
way she talked about him, he knew for sure that her dad was a good guy.
Ellie adored him- that much was evident. If something happened to him,
she'd be lost forever. And her mom... "What did her mom say? Were you there?"
"Yeah. We were over at her house to study and stuff and he called.
Her mom wasn't there. Ellie made me leave before she came home. I don't
know man, it seemed like she didn't even want me to come over."
"Hey, don't sweat it. For as long as I've been friends with Ellie,
I've never been to her house. She's really private. Man, I just hope she's
okay. Maybe I'll have Dylan take me over there now."
"That would be good. I don't want her alone right now. Who knows what
she could do. She could start cutting again... if she ever even stopped."
Marco shook his head in confusion. "Cut?"
Sean gave Marco an incredulous look and tried to backtrack, "Well...
what I meant was..."
"Is Ellie cutting? I mean, I heard the rumor. But I asked her and she
never lies to me and she said it was just that. A rumor. She seemed so
upset about it, so I believed her. Are you telling me that my best friend
is hurting herself?"
Sean nodded, "Yeah, man..."
Marco ran a trembling hand through his hair and gave a nervous laugh.
Ellie had always told him everything. She had never kept anything from him.
To find out that his best friend was cutting was like a knife through his
own heart. To think that he had done nothing to help her, that he hadn't
even noticed. This was the girl who he thought he could read inside out and
he didn't even know this. He had to get over to her house quick.Marco took a timid step up to Ellie's front door. He had never been
here before. It was huge. But why the hell was he thinking that when she
could be in there, cutting up her skin like it was art? His finger reached
for the doorbell, but on second thought, he just opened the door without
acknowledging his arrival. The inside was dark and quiet. It was like she
wasn't even there. He didn't even know where her room was.
His shoes reached the first step on the staircase. Her room must be
upstairs. He could hear really faint music coming from up there. Guns N
Roses. Yeah, it was Ellie. He started to chuckle to himself before
realizing the circumstances he was here for. God, it was like her father
had already been to war and didn't make it.
Marco ran his hand along her door and quietly pushed on it. His eyes
searched the room and found her form lying on the floor surrounded by a few
pictures, a letter, a tiny plastic bag... and a compass. When his eyes zeroed
in on the compass and saw the tiny droplet of blood hanging on to the
point, his heart sank. It was true. Sean wasn't playing some sick joke on
him.
"Hey El," Marco greeted softly. Ellie didn't even turn around, but
her back became even more rigid than before. Marco slowly walked towards
her and found a spot to sit right next to her. She didn't look at him, but
at the tiny cut she had made close to her wrist.
Ellie lifted a shoulder, 'There's no point in hiding it now."
"No. There isn't. Sean told me everything."
"Did he tell you how I'm scared shitless of what is going to happen
to my dad? Or that my mom is too busy getting drunk after work to even know
what's going on in my life? Or the only thing I can find solace in is
mutilating my skin? I mean, what happens when I run out of skin?" Ellie
whispered vehemently. She seemed so ashamed of herself that Marco's heart
leapt for her. He wanted so badly to just grab her and hold her in his arms
and tell her everything would be okay, but he didn't know if that was true.
And he could never lie to her.
So instead Marco just took her hand and held onto it. Ellie's
breathing was so rapid and she was shaking so badly. "I'm so sick of
everything just going wrong in my life, you know? For once, I would like
both my parents to just be home, to ask me how my day was, total Cleavers.
I want everything in your life to be right. I don't want people making fun
of you or bashing you. I want Sean to get good grades and to stop hanging
out with the bad crowd.
"You want everything to be perfect. And that's not possible. You have
to realize that, Ellie. But you can make it better. You just have to gain
control."
"That's what I've done. I control cutting myself. I'm totally in
control."
Marco traced the outline of one of her scars. "No, you're not.
Because this is scary. And seeing you like this is scary."
"I've never felt so alone or scared in my life. It hurts to bad."
"You're not the only one who's hurting, Ellie. It hurts me to see you
like this. To see you doing this to yourself."
Ellie finally looked up at Marco and he could see how bloodshot her
eyes were. How dilated they looked. Marco knew then he couldn't leave her.
She was in really bad shape. He'd never seen her this bad before. Actually,
he'd never seen Ellie lose control before. Marco tucked her hair behind
her cheek, "I'm going to stay here tonight with you, okay? I'll be here."
With that, Marco went downstairs to call his parents and tell them of his
plan.
As soon as Marco left the room, Ellie jumped up and started to pace.
She had to get rid of the evidence before Marco came back. She grabbed the
tiny plastic bag and went to her bathroom to flush it. Next she checked the
book and the carpet for any remains, but there were none. She had made sure
of that. Marco knew a lot, but if he knew the whole truth, Ellie was sure
he'd never be able to forgive her.