AN: Does anyone know how to get the asterisk symbol, or the equals symbol to show up in the text once you submit a chapter to The formatting is driving me nuts and not letting me do it.

Discliamer: I don't onw FFVII.

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be an airship pilot. They were so high in the sky, I figured they must have all the freedom they wanted. There was simply no one above them. Well, at least that's what my mind thought at age ten. As soon as I learned the proper chain-of-command, I began to want to climb it. And what better a place to start than my hometown? I mean, Junon is the military capital of the world! So I enlisted in the Junon Army. When Midgar plunged into war with Wutai, Junon joined the industrial giant, and every soldier on the Junon shore was ready to show Wutai the value of a bullet.

During those battles I had been working with an intelligence unit more than actually fighting out in the smoke and dirt of a battlefield. That's not to say that I didn't get my share of gunfights; being a spy wasn't exactly a friendly job in wartime, but I didn't need to kill as much as if I were a soldier out on the field, and that personally made the job easier. About 5 years of my life was spend getting behind enemy lines, digging into enemy files, and cracking enemy codes. I was a master at taking things I wanted from people that didn't want me to have them. I was also a master at enemies, but I guess my disposition to the oriental ended when I landed my big job…though that took a few years.

When the war ended, about a third of my division was transferred to Midgar, and I was one of them. Midgar had wanted more defense and preparations in case of recoil, and I had wanted to go there from the very time that I had learned of it's existence. I wasn't planning to miss my opportunity. That place was the place to be if you wanted to get somewhere in this world, so I planned on getting there.

Now, the life of an experienced soldier is great in peacetime - there's no fighting, there's no threats to your life, and you're respected for having risked your life for your homeland. The pay of a soldier isn't.

I began looking for a job, and used my resume as a successful spy to my advantage. That got me into one of the intelligence units in the Midgar Reserves - meaning I got Reserve's Benefits, which put me through school. Yeah, the resume got me schooling. Great. No cash (though I did find that one of my teachers was particularly interesting to look at…). But in any city - especially when it's the rule of the bigger; the better - there are always side jobs to be done, and so I was the one to do them. I usually pulled night shifts at bars or clubs. I had to do nights because the school was somewhat important, I'll admit. I was told once, that instead of working bars or tables, I ought to work street corners; it was better on the soul and wallet. I don't know what they meant when they said it was better on the soul, I can't imagine it would be, but even if it did boost a healthier wallet, I don't think that was really my style…I didn't need more money that bad.

It was in those old bars and smoky clubs that I, not only learned to mix drinks, and mix drinks well, but I learned what to do with people. I mean, I know how to talk, oh trust me that's no problem, but it was the authority thing that could use work. It was the assertive skill that could be polished up. I had always been a subordinate, and I never really got the hang of having the power to order people around. Call it an inferiority complex if you will, but in the war, I could always identify my superiors, and even if I did hold a rank above someone, I always treated them equally. I couldn't really bring myself to put myself above others.

Well, when you work in a bar - and are responsible for the damages done in those bar brawls on your shift - you'll learn to put them in their place real quick, lest you want those high bills to pay along with your utilities. Breaking up bar fights, refusing drunks their next shot, and kicking out your general rowdy customer for overly-promiscuous or some other offending misconduct, became part of my nightly schedule. My only hope was that I wasn't forced to be a bar maid at age forty, and that I could get a steady, high-paying job soon. I was always one that wanted things to happen and to happen fast. I wanted to be someone and I wanted a Sailor Moon-speed transformation. Which is why that extremely large, extremely obtrusive, and extremely promising ShinRa headquarters seemed a little more than interesting to me. As soon as I graduated, I was gonna get in there and start something. I don't really care what it was as long as I had a high ranking position. Hell, I was better at belittling my underlings, too. What a plus.

I had been looking for the next stepping stone to the ocean in the sky, and I found one that landed me in the highest place that I had reached thus far - the 63rd floor of the ShrinRa headquarters. Landing the job as a Turk was the step up I had been waiting for. It gave me power, prestige, control, and a free haircut actually. They told me that in order to work for them, my hair must not be long enough to touch my collar bone, so it must all be chopped off (this policy went for everyone in the company, but as for how my superiors got a way with what they got away with, I had a feeling they only bothered flagging the newbies.)

But in all sobriety, the job was really a godsend. Yes, it was hard, and yes, I did have doubts about whether or not I would be able to do what was expected of me as I watched over two thousand people die with the dropping of the sector 7 plate, but I didn't fail. I didn't give up. And I'm surprised. When I had stepped into that office that first day, I felt like I had just ascended to a higher classification of human. As I watched that plate fall, I felt like I was gonna collapse. And when I lost him, I lost something that used to be deep inside me as well, but through it all I didn't ever ask them to take over because I couldn't do it. This job had been what I wanted, and, whether it be because I wanted to impress someone or because I wanted to prove myself, I never lost my spirit. I never lost the spirit of the Turks.

And it makes me think of the time I had cried when I was in Wutai. Back in that war, everyone was strong. Be it for themselves, or for their squad, or their men, they were so goddamned strong that I wanted to slap them and tell them to become human. And then those bastards killed Lt. Hund. And I cried. What had I been expected to do? I was a human, not a robot. Losing my leader hurt. So I cried. And then the guy next to me turned at slapped me. I never forgot what he told me when I looked up at him all broken and puffy-eyed as I was. "You're a soldier aren't you? You are here because there's a war, right? Then why the Hell would you cry! Yeah, we want to cry too, but do we? No. We know better. If I cry, it makes it that much harder for the guy next to me not to cry. And if the guy next to me cries, it's gonna be that much harder for him to get over it when the next one dies. It's gonna happen again. More will die. You have to know that. So don't cry when it does, or you'll make this whole army weaker just because it'll be that much harder for them to be strong."

It hadn't been the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me, but it had made sense, and it had proved that I needed work. So I vowed not to cry when the next one died…

…Well, at least I never lost the spirit of the Turks.

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AN: Sorry it's been so long, and sorry it sucked, but I was waiting on a beta and gave up waiting. If I made any mistakes, I trust you guys to catch 'em and tell me so that I can fix it. Fact is, this is long overdue, and I can't apologize enough time to those people that were expecting this months ago. Just review and lemme know what you think, please?