Paige's POV
So, it looks like not everything is well in the land of Ashley and Ellie. I had figured this was how it was for a while now. I mean, Ashley's starting to hang out with me, Hazel, and Terri more and more while Ellie kind of just... well... grows invisible. But I guess she's not as invisible as we all thought. I mean, she won. How weird is that?
Things have been totally weird between me and that girl since I found her cutting herself in the bathroom. We act like it never happened. Sure, I got her to go see Ms. Suave, but something tells me she's not talking to her anymore. I don't ever really think about that incident anymore, though. I mean, I'm never going to like Ellie. She's just too... different. We're on completely opposite ends of the spectrum, nothing in common, totally polar from each other.
I know she laughs at me because she thinks I'm think huge snob and everything. I can't help it that I'm popular. Secretly, I think she's jealous. She wants to be as popular as I am, but she never will be because she's just Ellie. Now that she showed up to homecoming though in that killer dress (even I was way impressed), I wouldn't be surprised if more guys started to sit up and pay attention to her. She was practically naked. But still, I'll always be more popular.
But I make fun of her because she's not any better than I am. She laughs at people, she gossips, she can burn a hole through your chest with that scathing look she gives everyone as if they're beneath her. She thinks she's some princess; I think she's a fool. I mean, look at the way she hangs all over Sean. If she were smart, she'd realize that's now how most guys like it, except for my honeybee, of course. Guys are strange. They want action, but they don't want affection. From what I've heard, Ellie is obviously giving both... a little too much of both.
I kind of pity the girl. I mean, she really doesn't have it all together. She's dating some bad ass who gets arrested and carted off to jail, she's fighting with Ashley every second, she hurts herself on purpose, and she always looks so exhausted. She's such a loser. Who gets perfect straight A's all their life? Ellie Nash. That's who. Doesn't she understand that high school is supposed to be fun? That you're supposed to fail a test or two? Someone forgot to give her that memo.
Just because I pity the girl, doesn't mean I'm going to be nice to her, though. I still want to rip her eyes out just looking at her and her smug grin when she's handed back a test that everyone else failed but she got like a 107% on it. What a loser! And why am I even thinking about her right now? I should be inspecting my nails...
"Paige!" I jumped a little in my chair and turned around to give Hazel a glare. What did she want?
"What Hazel?" I whispered back. God, it was only second period and already I was daydreaming.
"What did you get on your test?" she held up her own which was marked with a big red 77%.
I hadn't even noticed that our tests had been passed back. I turned mine over on my desk and gulped when I saw the grade. 82%. Yikes. My parents were not going to be happy about that one. Maybe if I mentioned to them that everyone had gotten a bad grade and it had been just too hard. Then maybe they'd understand.
"What did you get, Ellie?" I heard Marco ask as he leaned over his best friend's shoulder from behind her desk.
Ellie leaned back and let him have a better view of her test. "103%."
"Damn! I got a 97%. How did you get that bonus?"
"It was easy."
Oh there was that smug little grin again. Easy, my ass.
"Okay, settle down class. Now only one of you got the correct answer for the bonus. Some of you were close but you forgot one tiny step. Ellie, could you do the problem on the board for us?" she nodded and walked up to the chalkboard, without her test for help, I might add. She breezed right through it, somehow remembering all the numbers in the original problem without checking with her test. How did she make it so easy? What a little apple-polisher.
"So, have you talked to Ellie?" Ashley asked me at lunch.
"Why would I talk to that freakbag? That's your department." I lazily picked up a celery stick and stuck the whole thing in my mouth. I was starving.
Ashley picked at her pita and hummus. "Not anymore. She's pissed at me. She hasn't sat next to me all day in any of our classes together. Even Marco is ignoring me."
"Well, things did get a little hairy at homecoming. And then at Jimmy's..."
Ashley sighed, "Yeah, Jimmy's was pretty bad."
FLASHBACK
"Ellie, please, talk to me!" Ashley begged to her friend sitting on the couch.
Ellie squinted at her and quickly took a drink from the bottle she was holding, "Leave me alone, you bitch."
"I'm sorry. Okay? I was mad, but don't take it out on me."
Ellie stood up quickly and drew her hand back ready to slap Ashley, but stopped herself. She gave Ashley a look before storming off.
END OF FLASHBACK
I chuckled, "Bad? She wanted to hit you. I'm surprised she didn't. You heard what happened between her and Amy. I always knew Ellie was a brat."
Ashley slammed her locker door shut and the sound echoed throughout the hallway. "Paige, you don't know everything about her, okay? Leave her alone."
"Coming from you, that doesn't mean shit to me. Bye Ashley. See you at lunch."
I sauntered off, ready to go find my honeybee and steal a quick kiss before my next class. As I neared Spinner's locker, I caught sight of Sean and Ellie playing tonsil hockey on the stairs. Couldn't they find an empty room or something? They pulled away and Ellie was all of a sudden right next to me walking to class. We didn't say anything too each other, just sort of looked at the other from the corner of our eyes.
I checked to see if Spinner was at his locker, but he wasn't. Great, that meant I'd have to walk the rest of the way to class next to Ellie. What would people think? Just as I was seriously starting to get worried that my classmates might actually think that I was friends with the freak, Marco ran up from behind me and Ellie and engulfed us both in a huge hug.
"How are my two favorite girls?" He asked sweetly.
I was about to go into a play-by-play of my day so far when I noticed that Ellie just shrugged. And Marco just stared at her adoringly. What was going on? How come Ellie could get away with just a shrug? And Marco accepted it like she was god's gift to mankind? Wasn't he supposed to be gay? Okay, I know he is. After all, he's going out with my brother. But the way him and Ellie carry on can make anyone sick. They have this stupid little bond between them that no one can break and I hate it. I don't have that with anyone, so why should that loser? Especially with someone as great as Marco? I was seriously starting to get annoyed with all the questions I was asking myself. I need to stop this.
"It's okay. Nothing great. You?" I answered Marco.
He snapped his attention back to me, "Oh, nothing much with me either. But I did get that internship I applied for over at Riley and Jamisson!"
Riley and Jamisson? Was he serious? Riley and Jamisson is key in the publicity world. They throw all the great parties, charity events, and concerts. I know how much Marco wants to get into the publicity/consulting industry so this was perfect for him.
"Marco! That's great!" I shrieked and threw my arms around him. Marco hugged me back but turned more of his attention to Ellie.
She just stood there with her mouth open in this huge smile before wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. She whispered something in his ear that I couldn't make out and he laughed quietly. So there they were in their own little world full of serious discussions, candy,inside jokes, and Ellie's soft-spokenness while I stood by wondering how Marco could spend all his time with her. She was so serious and depressing and moody. It made me want to kill myself just thinking about it. That's the effect she has on people. How come Marco the most fabulous guy in the world wants to be near that? I sighed and started my way to class again, without Ellie or Marco. If Marco wanted to be seen with that downer that was his problem. I was going to go to class and hang with my own friends.
Ellie's POV"Marco, I'm so excited for you. This is exactly what you wanted," I pulled Marco into like the fifth hug that day.
Marco laughed and held onto my hands, "I know. We both got what we wanted. I can't wait to get started."
"What do you think you'll be doing?"
"Who knows. Probably stuff like filing and organizing that no one else wants to do. I don't really care what I do."
I gave Marco a smile before adverting my attention back to the in-class assignment we were supposed to be doing. I couldn't concentrate though. I kept thinking of Marco's good news and how mad I was at Ashley and how much I wanted to kiss Sean right now. Speaking of Sean... I caught a glimpse of Sean out of the corner of my eye and I turned my head to look out of the classroom window. There he was, in the hallway with Jay and them. What we're they doing outside of class? My hand shot up involuntarily and I asked to use the restroom before I could even stop myself. Okay, what was I doing?
"Sean!" I called down the hallway towards the small group he hung out with. He didn't even look back, just kept on walking, but Jay shot me a glare. Okay... "Sean!" I caught up with him and put my hand on his shoulder.
"What Ellie?" Sean snapped. What a jerk. I'm so sick of his constant mood changes.
"What are you doing?"
"Do I have to tell you every detail of my life? Get back to class." He started walking again. Jay stood behind, his shoulders shaking from laughter.
"It looks like Sean isn't as whipped as I thought," he said to me. I rolled my eyes and tried to move past him, but he stopped me. "Where do you think you're going?"
"To catch up with Sean, what do you think?" I hissed back at him. He was really starting to annoy me.
"Listen, leave Sean alone, okay? He needs some time with the guys. He'll go back to being the hero after we're finished."
"Finished with what?" All of a sudden, a feeling of dread overwhelmed me. Sean stopped stealing, right? He told me he had. But could I really trust what he tells me? Jay seemed pretty cocky.
Jay leaned a shoulder against the wall. "Oh, just a little project we're working on. No big deal," He replied lazily. I wanted to smack that smile off of his face. I have resorted to violence a lot lately. I willed my hand to stay at my side and not reach up.
I looked away and then back at Jay quickly. Why couldn't he just leave Sean alone? Let Sean be a decent guy and be with me. "Are you stealing something?"
Jay chuckled and crossed his arms. "Maybe, maybe not. Why? Do you want to write about it for your stupid co-op? I don't get how Sean can stand being around you. Except he did say that you incredibly easy... if you know what I mean..."
I knew what he meant. There was no way Sean would have said that about me. But he did just ignore me completely in the hallway. Maybe I had to give him a little space. I don't think he's used to so much drama in his life and with me, it's all about the drama.
Jay's POVI'm looking out for Sean. We're like family. Like brothers. We look out for each other and take care of each other. There's no way I'm letting him completely change who he is just because some girl bats her eyes at him. Couldn't he have found someone a little less... out there? Someone who, at least, liked a little trouble? Miss Ellie Nash is a completely different story.
So me and the boys are going to steal the new music software the music department just bought. We're talking iPods, this editing thing, and, well, yeah. I don't even really know what it is that we're stealing exactly, but I know it's going to get us mucho money when we sell it. That's why I can't let that good-doer mess it up. Sean is my right-hand man. I need him to help me. All the other guys are idiots. They barely know what they're doing. Sean needs to be there.
So that's why I have to tease him about Ellie. If I let him think that it's okay to be going out with her, then he'll do whatever she says. So I have to let him know that he's a total loser for being with her. Then he has to show me that he's not. So he helps me steal.
Okay, so Ellie isn't all that bad. I mean, she'll party with us. That's cool. And it's not like she's not nice or anything. She did help Amy, although I found it extremely lame at the time. She stands up for herself with her fighting Amy and helping with protests and stuff around school. She's an individual and that's cool. But that also means she doesn't want to be a part of us. She doesn't want to help us. It'd be pretty cool if she did. No one would ever expect her- Miss Teacher's Pet.
"Where were you?" Sean asked me once I caught up with them outside the music lab.
"I, uh, had to take care of something."
"Whatever, let's not get caught. If Ellie finds out she'll kill me."
"Well, what are you going to tell her? I bet she suspects something."
"I don't know. I'll think of something. Let's just get it and go."
We managed to unlock the lab and sneak in. We had forgotten the adrenaline we get when we do this. Sean had a huge smile on his face as he picked up all the little iPods and stuffed them in a duffel bag. I matched his smile and grabbed a few things myself. We'd have to hide these duffel bags somewhere in school. No doubt everyone's backpacks would be searched. We'd look completely innocent. And maybe someone else would get blamed...
We hurried out of there and locked the door back up. That would buy us time. Sean and I ran down the hall, clapping each other on the back the entire time. So maybe our choice of activity wasn't the most... legal... but it was what we did best. And we were brothers. And brothers stick together no matter what kind of girl comes along.
Sean's POVI handed my backpack over to Mr. Radditch and let him go through it. The only thing in there remotely interesting was the newest issue of Playboy. If he even tried to confiscate that then we'd all know he was a sick man. He looked almost disappointed when he found nothing. "Fine. You can go Mr. Cameron."
I walked out of the principal's office with a cocky smile towards the school secretary who just loves it when I get into trouble. Yeah, take that Gladys. I continued my way out off the school office and ran right into Ellie. "Hey," I said, a bit nervously. I mean, how much did she know? And why was she heading into the office anyway?
"Hi," she replied shortly. Okay... she seemed a little mad at me. "What are you doing?"
"They had to check my backpack. You?"
She held up an envelope, "Just turning in something. Did they find anything?"
"A Playboy."
"Cute."
"Yeah, so, see ya..." That was awkward. I noticed Jay lurking around some lockers and I waved but he didn't see me. Oh well. I better get to class. I turned around and almost tripped over Ellie's backpack. For once, it wasn't in her grasp. I was almost tempted to look in it, to see what she had in there, but I opted not too. I didn't want to mess up what I had. I peeked my head back into the office and saw her sitting in a chair, chatting with Gladys. How could she? That lady was evil. I shook my head at the sight of them talking and hurried to class.
"Could Ellie Nash please come to the office... Now." My head shot up from its position on the desk. That didn't sound good.
Okay, good. Only five minutes left in class. I didn't know how much longer I could listen to Ms. Kwan's voice. I wanted to shoot myself. She droned on and on about Great Expectations while I thought about... well, what else to guys think about? Maybe Ellie could come over tonight and we could... No, her dad had gone back to Kabul. She'd have to stay around with her mom. Well, maybe I could just go over there tonight. She'd probably enjoy the company.
The bell rang and I shot out of my seat to go find Ellie. Either she'd be waiting for me by my locker or already on her way to lunch with Marco. I went to my locker but didn't see her so I headed to the cafeteria. Well, there was Marco, but no Ellie.
"Hey Marco, where's Ellie?"
Marco shrugged, "I don't know. I was going to ask you."
I walked away and decided that I'd just see her later. I sat down next to Jay on the brick wall. "Yo. Have you seen Ellie?"
"I don't keep tabs on your girlfriend. But I did see her walk out of the office looking pretty upset."
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, Mr. Radditch was giving her the ol' heave-ho. She's out of here. Suspended for a few days. Something about stealing...?"
I dropped the bag of chips I had been consuming. "What?! She didn't steal anything!"
"Well, they found some of the missing lab equipment in her bag. That stupid black thing she carries with her everywhere. Looks like she did it." Jay chuckled and went on eating his sandwich.
"Man, are you stupid? We stole that shit. What the hell is going on?"
"I don't know. Figure it out yourself."
I had put the duffel bag I was carrying in an old janitor's closet on the second floor. I told Jay to put his on a first floor closet. Did he? "Did you put that stuff in her bag?" I demanded.
"Do I look like the kind of person who would do that?"
"Fuck you, man!" I shoved him so he fell backwards into the bushes. I didn't need any of his shit. I had to find Ellie.
I ran into the school and down the hallway into the office. She was standing there with Mr. Radditch and the head of the music department looking totally furious. I watched her wave her hands wildly and gesture towards her bag. What was I going to do? I know she didn't take any of that stuff because I did. So was I supposed to turn Jay in? He's my best friend. But I couldn't let Ellie take all the blame. You just don't do that to a decent person like her.
"Mr. Radditch?" I knocked on the door announcing my arrival.
Mr. Radditch, Gladys, Miss Beeker, and Ellie all turned their heads at the sound of my voice. I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans and looked at my feet. "What is it, Mr. Cameron?"
I licked my lips nervously. "Ellie didn't steal anything. I did."
Ellie's mouth fell open and she gave me an incredulous look like "what the hell are you doing?". I was starting to think that myself. I mean, this would look horrible on my record. I'd probably lose my student welfare. I'd get suspended. And Ellie would get ticked off. "Sean!" Yep, I was right. She was mad.
"I know I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. But I'll return all of it right now."
Miss Beeker shook her head in disappointment. As did Ellie. And that hurt the most. Knowing that Ellie was disappointed in me. I couldn't even look her in the eye. Mr. Radditch was the first to say anything, "Sean. I think we better talk in my office. Ellie, please go back to class. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding."
Ellie nodded and walked out of the office, leaving me alone to face the consequences.
Ellie's POVI didn't go back to class. I couldn't. Besides it was my lunch period and I wasn't feeling an appetite today after what had just happened. I had to ask Sean why he would do something so dumb as stealing again. So I slid down the wall outside the office door and drew my nears up to my chest to wait. It seemed like it took forever when really it was only about ten minutes. Miss Beeker came out first and headed towards the music lab. She didn't look angry. Of course, she did know where all the equipment was now. A few minutes later Sean came out. He immediately sat next to me. I didn't even know what to say.
"I'm sorry," Sean sighed. He leaned his head back and hit the wall with it. "I'm so stupid."
"Yeah, you are," I agreed. "What's your problem? You were starting to get back on track, Sean, and now this? You go and screw it up. Did Jay put you up to it?"
"No! I mean, it was his idea, but I volunteered. He doesn't decide what I do or don't do, I do."
"Oh, so you put that shit in my backpack?"
"No! Jay did that. I would never do that. Didn't I just bail you out?"
I laughed cynically, "Yeah. You just bailed me out of a mess you made. You didn't do me any favors. It was your mess and you took the blame for it. At least you can do one thing right."
"Stop it, okay? I'm sorry."
"I'm really sick of you saying that. It doesn't always make everything better, you know. So, is your student welfare gone?"
Sean gave me a little smile. "No. Mr. Radditch was surprisingly... nice... I have Saturday detention for the rest of semester. I have to clean the music lab every week. But at least I get to stay, right?"
"How in the hell did you get him to not suspend you?" This was Mr. Radditch we were talking about. Normally he would do anything to get Sean out of Degrassi.
"Miss Beeker kind of talked him out of it. She said she thought I deserved a second chance. That she knew I was doing well and I needed this chance. How she knew that, I have no idea. But at least it helped."
I knew how she knew all of that. I had told her. At my last piano lesson I could barely stop myself from gushing about how great Sean was doing and how proud of him I was. Miss Beeker was a pretty cool lady. I knew, even if I was still the one getting in trouble for something I didn't do, she'd take it easy on me because she knows me. But I wasn't going to tell Sean any of that. I had a feeling he wouldn't be too pleased that I was telling teachers about how far he had come. He'd be so embarrassed.
"So, why didn't you tell them Jay did it?"
Sean looked at his feet. "He's like my brother. We don't tell on each other, Elle. That's just the way it goes."
"Well, if your 'brother' does something as stupid as that, he needs to get in trouble and learn a lesson. You're really not helping him by protecting him like this."
"Well, you're not really helping me by yelling at me either."
"So it's okay for your friend to almost get your girlfriend suspended for something she didn't do? You're just going to let that slide and let him do that to me?"
Sean hit a locker next to him. I flinched at the sound. "Dammit, Ellie. I'm sorry, okay? But it's not as easy as you think. You don't know everything you think you do. Some things are more important than yo- just... God! Why do you have to be like this? Nitpick at every little thing I do. I can do nothing right with you. "
"I thought you liked me enough to hold me a little higher than your loser friends. I'm leaving. Come find me when you grow up."
I stood up quickly and stalked away. What a coward. I couldn't even believe I was going out with him. Was this what a relationship was supposed to feel like? It's been a long time since my last one, but I didn't think I lost touch that much. I thought I still knew a few things. I guess I didn't.
Marco's POVI walked with Ellie to speech and drama. She didn't seem so thrilled to be at school. Hold on, did she ever look thrilled? I nudged her shoulder with mine and she gave me a look that clearly said "not now". Oookay... Maybe I'd sit next to Paige today. At least she seemed to be in a better mood. But Ellie followed me to where I was sitting, even though it was right next to- gasp!- the popular kids. The whole table fell quiet as she sat down next to me at the table. Usually she sat with a few other kids in our class who weren't as hyper and chirpy and talkative as we are.
I tore a piece of paper out of my notebook as Ms. Kwan started to talk about some play.
-What's wrong?
She took out a pen and wrote underneath my note.
-Is it me, or does Ms. Kwan teach like every freaking class in this school?
I shook my head. She was stalling.
-Tell me.
-Sean.
-What now?
-Ha! What now. Yeah. That's a good sign.
-You guys are great together. I think.
-You think.
-He's a dick.
-Can you clarify this statement?
-He's a dick and I hate him.
Oookay. Once again, Ellie was in a not-so-good mood.
"Marco? Ellie? Could you please pay attention? I will not tolerate this rudeness any longer!"
I gave an apologetic smile to Ms. Kwan and attempted to listen to what she was saying.
"Okay, so Thursday I would like you to come prepared with your duets. I'm not going to tell you yet what this is for exactly, but I'm sure you will be greatly pleased. On the paper I'm handing out, there is your partner's name and the piece you will be doing. Jimmy, could you help me pass these out?"
This was good. I'd be able to work on my acting skills. I was excited about the duets because lately we'd been doing a lot of monologues or just reading plays and studying playwrights. We hadn't done too much acting between two or more people. I looked down at the sheet I was given and was glad to see that Ellie was my partner. Wait a second. Did I want her to be my partner? I never even remembered seeing her actually perform her monologue or do anything slightly dramatic in class. Oh wait, I remember. She had been sick the day we had performed our monologues so she just performed hers in front of only Ms. Kwan one morning. Hmmm. I wondered if she was any good. This could hurt my chances of a good grade if she wasn't.
So what were we performing? A scene from To Have and Have Not. Huh, I don't ever remember reading this or seeing it.
"Marco?"
I looked up at Ellie. "Yeah?"
"Do you want to rehearse?"
I looked around at all the other groups rehearsing. "Sure."
We scanned over the description of the duet and decided that I would be playing Harry, the captain of the boat, and Ellie would be playing "Slim", a club singer. We read through the material quickly and, afterwards, I sat back in my chair with a whistle. "This is pretty sexy. Think you can handle it, Ellie?"
She gave me a sarcastic look and starting to look over the little script again. "Think you can handle kissing a girl... twice?"
"Eh, sure. Why not?" I acted like it was no big deal. Like I was a huge player or something. "At least you're not partners with Spinner, right?"
"Gross, Marco! Okay, so this takes place during the forties, right?"
"Yeah."
"So did you want to come over tonight and we can rehearse? I can give you a few pointers."
"Ha, ha, Ellie. You're so funny. I think I'll be the one giving pointers. You're not exactly the most reactive person- unless you're crying your eyes out at some sappy romance," I teased.
Ellie whacked me on the shoulder, but smiled. "You're mean. I can't help it if I cry at lame stuff."
"Just try and put a little emotion into this? I want a good grade."
"Okay, Marco. I'll try."
Ellie's POVI jumped onto my bed and pulled the little script for the duet out of my backpack. Marco was supposed to come over in a few minutes, but I figured I better look at it by myself a few times. Okay, so I was supposed to be some forties sexpot singer. That'd be easy. Haha. I wondered why Ms. Kwan picked this duet for us. She seemed rather impressed by my monologue performance. Gone with the Wind. Like I didn't watch that movie just about every day of my life. It had been so easy. I'd gotten a perfect A on it. But that had been in front of just her.
Okay, so back at Rookwood I had been pretty involved with the drama club. We put on a few plays and musicals and I was usually the lead. But I felt comfortable in my own skin back there. And then it had turned on me. Rumors escalated, I was pretty much shunned from everyone, and things got crazy. So now I like to keep to myself. You don't get hurt that way. But now it's like I have to show that I'm actually really good at this. I want people to be amazed at my performance with Marco. To cry like audience members did when I performed in A Midsummer's Night Dream or get another standing ovation like I had when I was Roxie in Chicago. Was this wrong of me? I mean, there goes Ellie again trying to be the center of attention. Like winning at homecoming wasn't enough.
But it's something I really love. So I should get recognition for my talents, right? I was really starting to confuse myself with my mixed emotions. I mean, most of the time I just want people to leave me alone and then there are certain moments when I want everyone to be wowed and amazed by me. I'm such a messed up person.
Okay. Back to the matter at hand. "The one who left you with such a high opinion of women. She must have been quite a gal. You think I lied to you, don't you. Well, it just so happens there's thirty-"
"Hey Elle. What's up?" Marco came through the doorway and threw his backpack on the floor before hopping onto the bed next to me.
"Just reading through this. Where are we going to find costumes for this?"
"Costumes? Do we need costumes?" Marco looked confused.
I let out an irritated sigh. Now I was worried about Marco bringing down my grade. "Listen Marco. If I'm doing this, I'm doing it to get a good grade. Don't you realize that costumes and actual props will raise our grade? Bonus points, Marco, bonus points."
"You're crazy. Okay, we can look around in the costume room maybe."
"We can always look at a vintage store too. There's a couple up in the village. We can go Wednesday."
"That sounds fine to me."
We read through the script a bit. I tried not to sound too excited over the whole thing. I kind of wanted to surprise Marco too. He kept trying to give me some pointers, but I blocked his advice out of my head. I knew what I was doing. Marco cleared his throat, "Ellie?"
I opened my eyes. I hadn't even realized I had shut them. "Marco."
"We're doing fine and everything, but everyone's going to be watching us and we kiss two times and you're the only girl I've ever kissed and that doesn't even really count because I wasn't even like kissing you back and..."
"You're worried what all the guys will think?"
"Yeah."
I gave him sympathetic smile and sat up like he was. "Okay, let's practice. The first time I catch you by surprise so you're not even going to kiss me back. Like this."
I put my hands on his face and put my mouth over his, kissing him hard and fast. "There. But the second time, I'm going to again catch you by surprise, but it won't be so fast, and so you're going to join in. Okay? So just wait a second and then kiss me back, okay?"
"Okay." Marco licked his lips and waited for me to kiss him.
I did. This time he brought his hands up to my face too and kissed me back. It was a little weird, seeing as this is my gay best friend and I used to be totally head-over-heels in love with him. It was missing something, though. I pulled away. "Okay, that was fine. But, I kissed you pretty hard the first time. So, you have to act like you feel something when you kiss me. I know you don't, but just act. Act like I'm your soul mate or something, okay?"
"You are my soul mate, Ellie."
I blushed and cracked my knuckles. "Thanks Marco. I know, but like, pretend you like girls and pretend I'm the woman of your dreams. Think you can handle that?"
"That's easy."
I blushed again. Marco and his compliments... I pulled him into another kiss and this time it was better. Marco ran his hands along the side of my face into the hair at the bottom of my head. We pulled away kind of breathless. "Perfect." I murmured. This hurt... a lot. It brought back too many mixed emotions and memories and the pain I felt when I first found out Marco was gay and... UGH! Why was I even thinking about this? I had Sean. Sean was great, when he wasn't being a huge jerk to me and when he wasn't going to jail or stealing or... grr... Marco was the one guy in my life that I knew I could trust more than anything. Who I knew would never hurt me. And he was freaking gay.
Later that night I checked the messages on the answering machine in my room. Okay, one hang up, another hang up, yet another hang up, and then two more hang ups. Was I not important enough for someone to leave a message? I desperately needed to get my caller I.D. fixed. And fast.
"Hey Elle."
Ohmigod. It was Sean. Moron.
"I'm really sorry. I know that's not good enough. But I am. And that's all I can offer. And it's not so easy for me. You have to understand that. But, believe me, I care about you a lot. I lo-like you a lot. This is so stupid... I can't believe I'm talking to a machine. And now you're probably laughing your head off at what an idiot I am. And how much of a loser I am. And I really need to stop before I give you any more reason to laugh at me. Just, call me back, okay? Please?"
Message ended.
Sigh. Great. What do I do now? I could call him back and pretend that everything was fine and he did nothing wrong. Or I could not call him back, stay mad at him, and then just ultimately end our relationship. I remembered how he acted when I had gotten mad at him. He basically told me Jay was more important than me. What a bastard. The latter choice was looking pretty damn good to me right now.