Disclaimer: I don't own anything, well it's obvious… if I did, it'd be on pages of HPHBP, not here.

Author's note READ: If you read it, please review and tell me everything you didn't like in it, every mistake, every single thing you'd change. You can flame my characters, writing, anything (especially writing). Be as harsh as you want, I want to know what you think of it. Of course you can also tell that you liked it, and I am a brilliant writer:)

The bad beginning…

"there inside that dark place we call the mind.
things haunt me like the past haunts a veteran.
i see things that no other person can see.
i am terrified of just being with me.
shadows of an opalescent state.
lurking behind the closed lids of my eyes.
i feel as if my whole being burns from within..."

"Good… what does it mean to be good? … How do you know if a person is good? … What makes you good? " She sat on her bed, thinking. Questions popped out in her head like mushrooms after the rain. Then the images of all the people she knew ran trough her head and involuntarily she started judging them. "Harry…he is certainly good, Ron? He's good too. Hermione? Good as well, Samantha?" she couldn't help, but giggle as she remembered her crazy friend "she's good; in her evil way. Rosalyn? She wouldn't hurt a fly, Colin… he's annoying, but he's good. My parents, Dumbledore, friends, teachers all f them were good. Me? Am I good? My parents, relatives, friends are all good, I was brought up to be good, does it make me good? They all thought she was good, but they didn't know everything… she didn't tell them, they wouldn't understand…nobody would…I, myself, don't understand this."

"Ginny! Earth to Ginny! Are you Ok?" Samantha's voice brought her back to reality; she shook her head, and looked around. Samantha was standing in front of her already dressed and ready to go "You better hurry, you don't want to miss breakfast, do you? Especially today; we have potions exam at 8 o'clock, and you know how you can be. It's not healthy to stress so much on empty stomach."

"Huh? What are you talking about? Breakfast…now?" she glanced at the clock; it was 7:30 already. "SHOOOT! Why didn't you wake me up earlier? I'm going to be SO late."

"Oh, Calm down Gin! Just get dressed, would you? I'm waiting for you in the Great Hall, and calm down, remember grades aren't everything." She waved Ginny good-bye and closed the door, leaving Ginny alone in the room.

Ginny stood in front of the mirror; she looked horrible. Big dark blue semicircles under her eyes indicated how little sleep she got. Her skin was paler than normal, which was pretty pale, which caused freckles to stand out even more, and eyes lost its usual sparkle and were dull, showing how tired and troubled she was. Hair was a total mess, ends sticking out in all directions.

"No wonder everyone asks me how do I feel" she thought, but unlike everyone thought she wasn't stressed because of exams and too much work; no, it wasn't the matter that didn't let her sleep, she didn't sleep for she had constant nightmares and she dreamt of things she was too scared to admit.

She sighed, run the brush through her hair, put some illusion charms to hide the circles under her eyes. Examining herself in the mirror once more, she decided that she looked presentable and left the bathroom. Then she collected her books and notes, and left for breakfast.

It was time for post delivery, when she walked into the Great Hall. Thousands of different owls were in the air, dropping letters and packages to their owners.

"Hi guys! What's on today's agenda" Ginny greeted people at the table, as she took her seat next to Samantha.

"Well, we have quidditch tryouts today! Are you still interested in being a chaser?" said Ron, with his mouth full of toast.

"Yes, I think I'll try. What's that letter you were reading?"

"None of your business, little sis. Ok, so see you at the pitch at 6 o'clock sharp! Don't be late, just because you're my sister I won't treat you differently than others." Ginny couldn't help, but roll her eyes on that. Ever since Dumbledore made Ron Quidditch Captain, he was bringing it up to the point of being a prat, it was worse than it was with Percy, when he became prefect, but everyone forgave him that as they all knew how much Ron wanted that. Although they also knew that Harry should have this position in the first place, none of them questioned Dumbledore's decision. Harry was very cold and distant ever since Sirius's death last summer. He barely ate, slept, and walked. It was like living with the zombie. And though they couldn't stand seeing Harry in such state, they couldn't do anything, for every time someone tries and comfort shim, he literally explodes. She could still remember his reaction when Hermine wanted to talk to him about that.

"I don't want your pity" he screamed and run out of the room. He made Hermine cry, and they didn't talk to each other for days. Ginny knew everyone was concerned about him, even Snape. He didn't humiliate Harry during potions as he used to. Sadly he kept terrorizing Gryffindors two times more.

"I think I'm gonna be sick! How am I supposed to know what's the main ingredient of Antirum, what the hell is Antirum, anyway?" Samantha asked frustrated from her potions notes.

"How should I know? I barely pass potions myself"

"It's a potion removing animal odors from furnisher." Hermine explained to them slowly like she was talking to not-so-bright five year olds.

"Oh, I knew that" Sam answered defensively "Thanks Herm. How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"All of that? I mean you're the best witch in school, a prefect and you must watch these two all the time" Samantha jerked her head in the direction of Ron and Harry "and don't forget saving wizarding world"

Hermine shrugged and resumed to her breakfast.

"So Gin, it's time for our doom!" Samantha stated in dramatic whisper. Ginny nodded, picked up her book bag, and smiled at Hermione, who wished her luck at the exam.

"Ron are you sure that Ginny is alright? She looks like she hasn't slept in ages"

"She's not the only one" Ron looked meaningfully at Harry, who was behind them " Do you think he'll ever recover from that? I mean it's happened months ago and he seems to be getting worse"

"I know Ron. I'm worried about him too. But there's nothing we can do, except to be there for him."

"You're probably right Hermione, as always"

"Right!" Hermione replied sarcastically "and will you finally tell me, what was that letter you got in the morning"

"Nope! Herm there're some things even you won't know" and with that he disappeared behind the doors to divination classroom.

During the summer when they got their OWLs results, divination was treated as "subject without qualified master", therefore Harry and Ron were allowed to continue their education in predicting the future.

"Ouf! Look where you're going!" she heard someone's voice telling her, and she realized that she just bombed to someone. She looked up and was almost blinded by the light reflected from the silver hair of Draco Malfoy, prince of Slytherin and the worst prat known to humanity. She prepared herself for the train of insults about her muggle side and such, but to her great surprise nothing came; he just pushed her aside and walked past her. She looked at him for a moment, amazed. I t must have been the first time Malfoy had the chance to insult her and he passed it, and though she wouldn't admit it to anyone, even to herself she wanted to know if he was all right.

Even as a little girl, Ginny wanted to be chaser. All her friends wanted to play as seekers or beaters, for it was most fun, they used to say, but not her. She thought that chasers were the most important players, they could decide if their team won, even if the rivals had caught the snitch. Then last year when Harry couldn't play she took over his position. She still doesn't know why she didn't try out for a chaser. Maybe she was afraid she couldn't match with Katie and Angelina?

But that wasn't important, what was important was that she had a chance to be one right now. She took a deep breath and mounted her broom. Immediately she felt the cold breeze on her face, and this familiar feeling in her stomach when she fought with gravity. She loved that, she felt free like a bird and knew that no one was able to catch her. Katie shouted from the other side of the pitch to let her know that she threw the Quaffle; she saw the red ball soar in the air towards her. She flew closer and caught it, then she started to fly towards Ron who was keeping the goals, he smiled at her and encouraged to shoot; she did so, the Quaffle flew past Ron's outstretched arms and into the left hoop. She repeated the action 10 times, and missed only once. Then she had to escape from Bludgers, beaters fired at her. New beaters weren't brilliant, so she let herself to fly recklessly fast, not paying too much attention where. That was most fun, she was enjoying the speed and freedom flying gave her. When she landed she knew that the place in the team was hers; she beat all the other students who came here tonight.

"Good job, Ginny! You're sparkling up there!" Katie congratulated her, as she was getting changed "too bad we can't say the same about others. I don't know if we're going to be able to win the Cup this year"

"Sure we will! Practice is all we need, and maybe faster brooms." Ron reassured her, but she still looked skeptical. Ginny admired Ron's optimism after what he saw on the pitch. These people were horrible. But then again, Ron was even worse when he started, and now he's on of the best players on the team. Maybe they'll improve as well.

"See you tomorrow! I'm dying, I'll go to sleep" she said and left the team to celebrate the new members.

She was walking down the dark hall. It was dimly lit, she could barely see where she was walking. In her hand she was clutching something small. It was smooth and cold. She could feel little marks engraved on it, she didn't know what was that. She opened one of many doors and came in. Suddenly she recognized where she was; it was dormitory, it looked much like the one she lives in, only instead of six, there were four beds. The fire in the fireplace was dying down she moved slowly to the nearest bed. Her feet touched cold stones of the floor, and she shivered. She could hear wind outside. It was really strong; it twisted the heave brunches of the trees outside like they were nothing more but wild plants on the shore of the lake. She drew back the curtains from the bed she was, and saw the body of sleeping Harry curled up under the covers. She raised her left hand, the moonlight reflected from the metal object she was holding and blinded her.

Then suddenly, the silence was broken by high-pitched, desperate scream.

"STOP! DON'T" and for the moment her dream changed; she was hovering above some chamber. It was decorated in black and silver; the curtains on the windows were made from black, heavy fabric that didn't let any sun into the chamber, which was lit by the torches on the walls. There were two creatures; one, tall and skinny dressed in the black robes was standing next to the table on which stood a crystal ball. It was gazing into it, while the other, short, clumsy, fat man was shrieking in pain on the floor.

When she woke up, she was on the floor next to the Harry's bed. The room was silent, and dark, it looked exactly like the room in her dream. I her left hand, she was holding silver dagger with an engraved snake wrapped around its handle.

"God! Where am I?" She threw the dagger on the floor, too scared to even think of why she has it "How did I got here?" she whispered into the silence. She looked around and saw Harry turning in his dream, and the realization hit her. The knife, the dream, Harry… She picked herself up as fast as she could and run down the hall, down the stairs 'till she reached fifth year girls' dormitory. She threw the door open and grabbed her trunk, she packed all her clothes and threw them into it. She reached under her bed, and took the money she had gotten on her birthday from Fred and George. She took her cloak and left to never come back again. She had to; if she stayed she put lives of the person she loved in danger. And she couldn't afford it. She can't hurt Harry. And that's what he wants her to do.

To be continued...

References:

1. I got the idea of light reflecting from Drac's hair and blinding someone from Butterflykisses3's fanfiction "Phire and Ice".

2. The poem on the beginnig, Words of the Insane by poetry nymph

Author's note:

What do you think? Review! Anyway I know that the tryouts sucked and tile too, but I couldn't think of anything else. If I do I'll change it.