Okay, people, sorry about the delay. I got... sidetracked... ;-)

Eridala: Carrot has stepped into a LotR character's role. I'm surprised nobody's worked it out yet. (Of course maybe plenty have and said 'how lame' and stopped reading this.) Ah well, I'll continue the mystery for a couple more chapters.
Yes, Verence is Théoden. Vimes is Aragorn, but obviously everyone would expect Carrot to step into that role. Half the fun...
And yes, the witches are on the way.

Blank Ned: Hell, I write filks as well. At least yours are good filks. Angua as Éowyn? Could be fun, but I have other plans for Éowyn...

Queenstheif Draconess Herselve: Thank you! Love the nick.

ihadanepiphany: "Annoy" doesn't cover it! Muhuhaha. Your other questions are hereby answered...

Chapter Twelve: Bogeys

"I just... I want to get back," he said sadly. The king looked like a kicked puppy.

Carrot nodded. "I'll do what I can, sir."

"So will I," said the pale man. "Tell your friend... he has my sympathy. I've brushed with these elves before. And," he hesitated, "I have a daughter. I was with her just before I arrived here. My only hope is that she escaped."

"North, you said?"

"Wherever it's cold."

"But you can't just leave," Magrat wailed. "Especially during-" she lowered her voice "-Circle Time."

"It's Circle Time that's causing the problems," said Granny briskly. "They've taken a child in Ankh."

"And I'm going because there's no telling what Esme could get up to without a chaperone," said Nanny.

Granny rolled her eyes. "As I recall, chaperones never bothered you too much."

"As I recall," Nanny smirked, "you only ever needed a chaperone with one young fellow-"

"Gytha!"

Magrat looked between them wearily. "Well, I suppose there's always Agnes. She's capable."

"She can cope all right for a few weeks," agreed Granny.

Nanny glanced around the hall. "I notice our Shawn's not here," she remarked. "Ain't we important enough for a herald?"

"He decided Verence and young Esme needed a guard," Magrat sighed. "They should have been back an hour ago."

"Where were they walking?" asked Granny sharply.

"Oh, up in the- oh gods, you don't think..."

A third Omniscope had been fished out and set to show Medium Earth with a chunk of earth on the sensor. In theory, it should show any piece of the Disc that had ended up in Medium Earth, such as a piece of mud on the bottom of a shoe, or as a speck of dust on a jacket. Of course, there was no guarantee that the targets would still be wearing their normal clothes, but it was worth a shot.

"We've got another bogey over here," said the Dean. He'd taken it upon himself to keep an eye on the Omniscopes and was, as usual, spouting meaningless catchphrases. Right now, the Omniscope showed a green smudge, like a grass-stain.

"Blow your nose then," said the Archchancellor.

"No, Archchancellor," said Ponder. He adjusted the angle and the full scene swung into view. "Look at this..."

An all-too-familiar box on legs was trotting along behind a scrawny, red-robed figure. Something bandy-legged in green trudged alongside it; the only even vaguely normal-looking individual was four feet tall and had a saucepan over his back.

"Isn't that one of ours?" asked Ridcully slowly. "Rince... wind?"

"Yes, Archchancellor," said Ponder, "and that's Nobby Nobbs if I'm not mistaken."

"Odd," said Reg, "he doesn't seem to be hiding."

Ponder tweaked and twisted a few more instruments so that Nobby filled most of the screen. His face carried a worried expression under the skin condition. He fumbled in his pocket and drew out a golden ring on a long chain. He looked at it for a moment, then clenched his fist around it.

"Now that is strange..." said Ridcully.

"Well, sir," said Carrot, "I couldn't get much out of the king. He just said to go where it's cold."

"Good man," said Vimes. "We'll-"
And then Carrot saw his commander's features slide out of focus. It was unnerving.
"We shall not be going anywhere," said the face. "We other duties."

This was, of course, in keeping with Carrot's conviction that personal wasn't the same as important, but he respected Vimes enough to avoid judging.

The problem was, it wasn't Vimes who was now striding back outside...