A/N: Well...I guess you guys can be glad that it's a rainy day in southeast Tennessee...Icky weather means my husband and I can't work in the yard as planned, so maybe I can actually get this posted before tonight! Once again, thanks for all the awesome reviews—they make me feel so warm and fuzzy!
Sara couldn't sit still. It was ten minutes before seven, and her heart was pounding. She walked around her suite, looking for anything to occupy her mind. First she went to the window of the bedroom and took in the breathtaking view of the Strip. Normally she thought of the Strip as the world's tackiest, gaudiest sight, but the lights were somehow lovely when you were standing 36 floors up in a luxurious penthouse suite. Everything seemed lovely when you were standing 36 floors up in a luxurious penthouse suite, come to think of it. Her view of the Strip held her attention for about 30 seconds before she got bored and decided to check out the living area again. She had only passed through it before, not taking the opportunity to explore it. She admired the beautiful mahogany of the fully-stocked bar, and ran her fingers along the fine wood grain of the dining table. Walking back into the foyer, she stopped short as she noticed a small package on the table by the door. That hadn't been there before...had it? It was wrapped in the same dark blue paper with a silver ribbon around it. Tearing the package open, she discovered a hardback copy of a book. The Devil Wears Prada. Opening it up, she read the message on the inside cover. Calligraphy, of course.
Dearest Sara,
The Devil may wear Prada, but tonight...
An angel wears it.
All my love.
Sara lifted one corner of her mouth in a small smile as she reveled in the compliment. She took the book back into the bedroom and placed it on the bedside table. She wasn't really into chick lit, but the note on the inside cover was so sweet...she'd have to give this particular book a try. Besides, the recognized the title; it was a New York Times bestseller, so it couldn't be all bad, right? Moving into the bathroom, she decided to add some makeup to her bag. She rummaged in her things and emerged with eyeshadow and eyeliner. She placed them in the Louis Vuitton bag with her lipstick. Finally, she looked at her watch. Three minutes till seven.
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Grissom fidgeted in the limousine. The ride from his townhouse to the Venetian was not a long one, but it seemed to be taking eons tonight. His mind was at war with itself. It was trying to convince him that this had all been a very bad idea, that Sara was going to reject him, and that he deserved it. It was saying that after all he had put her through, she had every right to grind him to dust under her heel. It told him that his heart would never recover, that he would have been better off to just continue denying his feelings for her. He fought back. No, he loved her, and he was doing the right thing. He had made mistakes in the past, but he was going to do every damn thing he could to set things right. He couldn't live without her any longer.
He breathed a sigh of relief as the limousine pulled off the Strip and into the parking lot of the Venetian. Fred exited the vehicle to get Sara. Finally. One way or another, he would soon know. Grissom was slightly sick to his stomach. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes and told himself to calm down.
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Sara jumped when she heard the knock at the door. She grabbed her Louis Vuitton bag, slipped her room key into it, and drew a deep breath as she headed to the door. Opening it, she was surprised to see Fred again.
"Fred!" she said with a smile.
"Good evening, Miss Sidle. If you'll be so kind as to follow me, I will take you to your suitor."
'Please let it be Grissom, please let it be Grissom...No! You can't get your hopes up. Oh, shut up, yes, you can. You might as well, because even if you try to prepare yourself for someone else, you'll still be devastated if it's not him...Please let it be Grissom, please let it be Grissom...' Sara continued to repeat the words in her head like a mantra as she stepped into the elevator. The ride down seemed to take years to complete. She and Fred stood in a silence that was not altogether uncomfortable. By the time the doors finally opened to release them onto the mezzanine level, her heart was pounding so hard that she was a little light-headed. As they stepped through the revolving door, she saw the limousine just ahead. She tightened her grip on her evening bag and willed her heart to slow down.
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Gil Grissom drew in a sharp gasp as he watched Sara emerge from the revolving door. He silently thanked God for the tinted windows of the limousine that would allow him to observe her without notice. Articulate though he was, he couldn't come up with a word to describe the way she looked. Stunning? Beautiful? Exquisite? None seemed vast enough to capture the beauty that Sara radiated. Grissom made a mental note to thank Catherine for being a genius. The dress looked as if it had been made to be worn on Sara Sidle's body. The black material came up over her left shoulder, leaving her right shoulder bare. It was form-fitting through the waist, and then fell loosely to the ground around her feet. With each step she took, a slit on the left side exposed her long, muscular left leg to nearly the top of her thigh. At the end of her legs, on her feet, were a pair of heels whose straps wound up around her ankles, perfectly setting off every delicate curve and bone of her feet and ankles. She was only about 20 feet from the limousine now. Grissom rubbed his hands on his pants, cleared his throat, and prepared for the most important moment of his life to date.
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Sara's pulse and breathing quickened as she and Fred approached the limousine. She stepped gingerly off the curb and waited as Fred reached for the door handle. Opening it, he gestured for her to get in. Sara lifted the hem of her dress and looked down as she ducked into the limousine to make sure she didn't catch it on anything. Settling herself onto the leather seat, she realized someone was sitting in front of her and she looked up. As she looked at the man sitting across from her, her hands flew to her mouth and she let out a small involuntary sob. She sat there with her violently shaking hands covering her mouth for what seemed like ages, just...staring at him. Just as she was beginning to wonder if she was stuck in some beautiful, cruel dream, he began to move toward her.
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As the limousine door opened, Gil Grissom worried—for just a split second—that he was going to faint. But as he watched her gather the hem of her dress and step delicately inside, oblivious to his presence, he was suddenly overcome with calm. This was so right. He remained still, watching her as she situated herself in her seat, looking down. Suddenly she looked up at him. Her hands covered her mouth as a small sound—was it a sob?—left it. He silently noted that her fingers were trembling. He gazed into her huge dark eyes as they filled with tears. His heart soared as he realized what was happening. She was glad that it was him. Suddenly he had to touch her. He moved forward, inching closer to the love of his life.
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Sara watched, dazed, as Gil Grissom ('Thank you, God, thank you, God, thank you, God...') inched toward her. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. When he was finally directly in front of her, he sat on his knees as he gazed into her eyes. He reached up with his right hand and cupped her left cheek, swiping his thumb across it in a perfect imitation of what she had done so long ago. His eyes grew bright with tears as he whispered, "It's not chalk. I just needed to touch you...to make sure you're real." A single tear finally escaped from Sara's eyes as she leaned into his touch. He wiped it away as she finally found her voice.
"I...I have...so many questions..." she stammered, her voice breaking at the end. Grissom nodded as he brought his forehead to hers.
"I know. We have the entire evening for that. Right now, I need to tell you a few things." Taking a deep breath, he pushed away every instinct he had that made him want to clam up, and prepared to spill his heart. "Sara...I'm not the most eloquent man in the world when it comes to my heart, but I'm going to do the best I can here. I want to explain to you what has been going through my mind all these years." He paused to gather his thoughts. He was unsure of where to start. After a moment, he decided that the best place to start is usually the beginning, and he proceeded. "Sara...when I first met you, you took my breath away. You were so young, vibrant, and brilliant. When we became friends, I knew there was something between us, but I thought of all the possible repercussions of getting involved with a student. Not just professional ones, either. I felt as though you held my heart in the palm of your hands and I was terrified of that. I had never felt that way about anyone else. On top of everything, I couldn't see how you could possibly feel the same way toward me. I mean, here I was, fifteen years older than you, totally antisocial, completely ignorant of social graces, and suddenly this stunning young woman was interested--in me? Come on, get real. So I began to convince myself that it was just some sort of hero worship on your part. You know, the clichéd crush on the teacher. Eventually, I convinced myself to keep you at arm's length. It worked well until you came to work for me. Suddenly I couldn't keep you at arm's length any longer. But I continued with the little game in my head. 'She doesn't love me, she can't love me, I'm not good for her, I would only hurt her...' Of course," Grissom looked down, "I did end up hurting you. But I'll get back to that in a moment. As I realized that this...this thing between us wasn't going to go away, I just started to shut myself down around you. You see, Sara, solitude is all I have ever known." Grissom looked into Sara's eyes. They were large and full of tears as she watched him pour out his heart. He continued, "Denying my love for you was a form of self-preservation. It may have hurt like hell to not have you, but it was no different from everything I've known. If I gambled everything on your love and ended up losing..." Grissom's voice dropped to a whisper, "It would have killed me." Sara's chin was trembling, but Grissom couldn't stop now. "So we've been circling each other for years in this crazy, cruel dance. I was convinced I was doing the right thing, not only for myself, but for you, too. I kept telling myself that you deserve better, which you do, but finally Brass made me see reason." Sara's eyes became quizzical at the mention of Brass. Grissom didn't know if the next part would make Sara angry, but this was the time for clearing the air, so everything must come out. Taking a deep breath, he moved to the seat next to Sara and turned toward her as he continued. "A few weeks ago, Brass had to chase down a particularly feisty suspect. Later that day, he came into my office complaining about being old and out of shape. He said he wanted to start working out more regularly, and that he needed a partner. He thought that I seemed rather stressed, and that it might do me some good. Long story short, he convinced me to work out with him three mornings a week after shift, and we both bought memberships to the Fitness Factory." He watched Sara's reaction carefully. At the mention of her gym, she raised her eyebrows and stiffened almost imperceptibly, but she didn't seem angry. Grissom decided to go for it. "Monday morning, Brass was running late, so I started working out by myself. I was taking a break between sets and walking around the weight room when I noticed a window I had never paid any attention to before. It looked out into the dance studio." Sara's head moved in the tiniest of nods. Grissom continued. "God, Sara, you were...you were so perfect," he breathed. "It was like watching an angel..." His eyes became distant as he remembered the moment. Looking back into her moist eyes, he said, "I stood there for I don't know how long when suddenly Jim spoke up from next to me. He was watching me watch you, and he...well, basically he chewed my ass out for letting you get away," Grissom smiled. "He said the whole lab knew I was in love with you—everybody but you, that is. I tried to play the whole thing off, but I couldn't sleep later for thinking of you. Granted, that wasn't all that unusual, but in my mind I kept hearing Jim's voice. I fought with myself, using all the familiar, old arguments about why a relationship with you would be a bad idea, but suddenly something that Jim said just hit home." He paused and looked at the woman in front of him. She was sitting there quietly, still trembling, letting him pour his heart out. Grissom reached across and took Sara's hands, wrapping them tightly in his own. "Sara, he told me that I should let you be the judge of what's best for you. All this time, I've been justifying it to myself by saying that it would be best for you if we weren't together, but by doing that, I was in effect saying that you weren't smart enough to know what was best for you. Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. It was like someone had removed a blindfold that I didn't even know I was wearing. That's when I started planning this. Sara, when I fuck something up, I fuck it up royally. And so I thought that it was only right that I put the same kind of energy into setting things right..." His voice trailed off. "Okay, that's all I really wanted to say right now. There's more, but it can wait." He looked at her. She was just staring at him. "Sara? Honey, please say something."
Sara sniffled and looked deep into Grissom's eyes before she spoke. "Remind me to buy Jim some brandy and cigars, ok?" She laughed through her tears at the grin on Grissom's face. Suddenly, she reached forward and slid her arms around his shoulders. Burying her face in his neck (God, he smelled good...), she whimpered, "I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe you would do all this for me. Please tell me you're really here and that you're not going to suddenly freak out and leave." Grissom removed his arms from her slender waist so he could look into her eyes. He gently took her chin between his thumb and forefinger as he spoke.
"Sara, I want you to look me in the eyes and listen to me very carefully as I say this." Satisfied that he had her undivided attention, he continued. "Sara, you are the only woman I have ever loved and I never meant to hurt you. It may have taken me a very, very long time to get my head out of my ass, as Catherine so delicately put it, but rest assured that as long you will have me, I am never going anywhere." He paused and stared at her even harder. He swallowed and got right the point. "Sara...I know I've been an ass. And I still don't know what you see in me. But if you want me, I'm yours.Will you still have me?"
Sara had more or less stopped listening after "you are the only woman I have ever loved." She realized that Grissom had stopped talking and was looking at her. She gazed at him, dumbfounded. "Did you say...that you love me?"
Grissom reached down and took her hands again. She hadn't answered his question, but this was no time to start playing it safe. He buried his gaze in her chocolate eyes and went for broke. "Yes. Sara Sidle, I love you. With everything I have." His voice cracked with emotion as he whispered, "Please tell me I'm not too late." He lifted one of his hands from hers and trailed a finger down the side of her face, down her neck, and across her collarbone to her bare shoulder. She closed her eyes and shivered at his touch. With her eyes still closed, she whispered, "You could never be too late."
Grissom's heart danced. "You mean...you'll forgive me? You still want to be with me?" All the evidence pointed to it, but he still found himself unable to grasp the reality of the situation—Sara still wanted him.
She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. For the first time that evening, she seemed completely calm. "Gil...all I've ever wanted is to be with you."
TBC....
A/N: Well, the weather cleared up and we ended spending several hours in the yard this afternoon, so I'm really happy to be able to get this posted at a decent time. I hope it lived up to your expectations—but there's plenty more good stuff to come!