A/N: Whew! I was really nervous after I posted that last chapter. I built it up for so long, I was afraid you guys would totally flame me if it didn't live up to your expectations. The reviews were fantastic. Thanks for making me feel good about it. I'm still having an absolute blast writing it, and I hope you're still having a blast reading it!
Sara watched Gil Grissom carefully as she said those fateful words… "Gil…all I've ever wanted is to be with you." A look that encompassed both total relief and total joy washed over his face. Seeing that, Sara gave the man of her dreams the patented Sara Sidle Smile for the first time that evening.
For Grissom, the words coming out of Sara's mouth were like balm on every old wound he had in his heart. He couldn't stop the tears from welling up in his eyes as she grinned at him. For the first time, he allowed himself to think that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay. His expression sobered as he realized he needed to tell her something. "Sara," he said, eyes serious, "I need you to know something. I told you that denying my love for you was a form of self-preservation. In reality, it was a form of self-destruction, but I was just too blind to understand that. I don't think I truly understood the implications of what I was doing to myself—and much more importantly, to you—until Brass got a hold of me. Sara, I don't think I can ever forgive myself for hurting you like I have. But I need you to know that it was never intentional." There was searing pain in his eyes as he said that last part. "I would die if I thought that you thought otherwise. Please believe me that I never intentionally hurt you. I always thought I was acting in your best interests, misguided though I was. I don't really think I have the words to apologize for what I have done. All I can do is tell you that I am truly, deeply sorry, and humbly ask your forgiveness." He looked searchingly into her eyes as he finished his plea.
Ever so slowly, Sara leaned forward and grazed his cheek with the lightest of kisses, like the brush of a butterfly's wings. It was a bold move on her part, but the pain his impassioned apology had conveyed made her ache inside. She wanted to erase that pain for him. Leaning close to his ear, she whispered to him, very softly. "Griss…if I ever thought, even for a second, that you had intentionally hurt me, we would not be having this conversation. But I know you never meant to hurt me." She leaned closer, her lips touching his earlobe as she spoke. "You see, Gil, believe it or not, I understand you. It's one of the reasons I love you—because I get what makes you tick. And I know that this is terrifying for you. I know that this is worlds away from everything you have ever known. And the fact that you have chosen to risk it all in order to be with me…well, ifpossible, it makes me love you even more. Of course I forgive you. The important thing, Gil, is that you are here now. You figured it out and you came to me." She dropped her voice so low that he could barely hear her next words. "Nothing else matters now." With one final brush of her lips across his cheek, she pulled back so she could see him.
He looked at her with tears in his eyes. God…this woman. She was incredible. It dawned on him that she really did understand him, and that was why she was able to forgive him so easily. He reached up and cradled her face in both of his hands. When he spoke, his voice was taut with emotion. "Thank you, Sara. Thank you for forgiving me." As he looked into her eyes, he suddenly realized what he needed to do. He leaned forward, ever so slowly, drawing out the pleasurable tension of the moment as long as possible. Their eyes remained locked. As he closed the last inch of distance separating their lips, he watched her eyes flutter closed, and allowed his to follow suit. When their lips finally met, the thought that went through his mind was that this was probably the most perfect moment of his life. Deepening the kiss, he dropped his left hand from her face to the side of her neck, caressing it lightly with his fingers. Her quiet moan encouraged him, and he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She leaned into him, eagerly tasting him. She ran her hands under his jacket and around to his back. Before Grissom could think to stop himself, his left hand slid slowly from her neck down to her waist, lightly but purposely brushing her breast on its journey. As he realized that both he and Sara were becoming very aroused by their kiss, he gently broke it off. Tilting her head down to kiss her forehead, he lightly whispered, "I think I better stop before I get too out of control. After all, we still have to go to dinner."
Sara's eyes widened. She had completely forgotten that they were in a limousine on their way to who-knew-where. She smiled and squeezed his hand. "And where are you taking me, Dr. Grissom?" she asked playfully.
He looked at her lovingly as he replied, "Have you ever been to Le Cirque?"
Sara's mouth spread into a grin. "Le Cirque? As in Le Cirque at the Bellagio? As in one of the most luxurious five-star restaurants in Vegas?" Seeing his nod, she continued, "Why, no, Dr. Grissom, I have never been to Le Cirque. You see, I'm an employee of the Las Vegas Crime Lab, and I can't afford to go to places like Le Cirque." She winked at him. He chuckled.
"Well, my dear, you are going to enjoy the cuisine of Le Cirque tonight. And if you're a good girl, I'll take you dancing later," he added, eyes twinkling. At this, Sara gaped. After all he had done over the past few days, she hadn't been shocked that he would take her to a five-star restaurant. But dancing? Surely he was joking.
"You're kidding…right?" she said dubiously. Grissom tucked a stray strand of brown hair behind her ear.
"No, as a matter of fact, I'm not." Smiling, he added, "I'll explain after dinner." She looked at him, raised an eyebrow, and sat back, deciding to trust him on this one. Suddenly she sat straight up.
"Shit!" Sara hissed.
"What is it?" Grissom asked, alarmed.
"My makeup," she sheepishly replied. "Sorry—didn't mean to scare you. I just realized that it's probably all messed up from crying. Here," she said, grabbing her evening bag. Pulling out the compact that contained her eyeshadow, she surveyed the damage. "Not too bad. I think I can fix it." She licked her finger and cleaned up one or two small streaks. Then she deftly reapplied the shadow as Grissom watched, fascinated. Reaching back into her bag, she emerged with eyeliner and quickly touched it up, as well. Finally, she pulled out her lipstick and reapplied it. As she placed it back in her bag, a thought occurred to her. She leaned forward and inspected Grissom's mouth. Ever so gently, she rubbed a bit of lipstick from his lower lip. She smiled shyly and said, "I didn't think you'd want to walk into Le Cirque with lipstick all over your face."
He looked at her gently and said, "As long as it's your lipstick, I don't care who sees it or where I am."
Looking out, he realized that they were in the parking lot of the Bellagio. He had no idea how long they had been there; it was less than a mile from the Venetian to the Bellagio, but traffic could be a bitch. They could have just gotten there, or they could have been there for ten minutes already. He made a mental note to thank Fred for his obvious discretion. He had pulled into the parking lot to let Grissom and Sara finish their conversation before dinner. Grissom glanced at Sara. "Are you ready?" She grinned and nodded. Grissom pressed the intercom button. "Fred, we're ready any time. Thank you for being patient with us." The limousine began moving again, to the area where he would let Grissom and Sara out for dinner. When the car came to a stop, Fred exited the vehicle and opened the door to release Sara and Grissom into the sweet evening air. Grissom emerged first, and held out a hand to help Sara out. Taking in her exquisite form once again, he said, "I think I was too blown away to say this earlier, but I want you to know that you look absolutely…stunning. Catherine certainly outdid herself this time."
Sara smiled as he confirmed her suspicions about Catherine. "I knew something was up when I got the card this morning. I did call her to make sure I wasn't being stalked by some psycho. Then when I got to the suite and discovered these amazing clothes…" her voice trailed off. She stopped in her tracks and turned to him. "I was lying in bed trying to figure everything out, and suddenly I put it together. I knew Catherine was involved because of the card, and I kept hoping against hope that you were behind it all. Then when I saw the clothes, I knew you couldn't have picked them out alone. The only thing that made sense was that you would employ the help of a trusted friend with amazing style. When that dawned on me, Griss, I…I was so happy I didn't know what to do. Still, though, I tried to convince myself that it couldn't be you, that you would never go to these lengths for me." She looked down at their entwined hands and looked back up at him, face shining with happiness. "You see, Grissom, you're not the only one with instincts for self-preservation. As much as my gut told me it was you, I never allowed myself to truly believe it until I saw you. And now here we are." She smiled again. Stepping back, she looked him up and down as if seeing him for the first time. "Wow, Griss," she whispered. "You weren't the only one caught up in the moment. You look…incredibly handsome. Oh, my God, is that Armani?" she said with a squeak.
Grissom pulled the left lapel of his jacket back, flashing the Armani label at her. "Indeed it is," he said with a smile. "I gave Catherine my credit card and told her to go nuts."
"Damn, Grissom," Sara said in a low voice. She suddenly realized they were just standing on the sidewalk outside the Bellagio. She slipped her hand back into his and they began walking slowly. "What time are our reservations?" she asked.
Grissom glanced at his watch. "We've got fifteen minutes. It'll give us time to talk some more," he said.
Sara looked down at her clothing, then over to Grissom. She thought over all that he had done in the last few days and had to ask a question. "Umm, Griss? Please don't think I'm incredibly tacky for asking this, but how can you afford all this?" When he laughed, she gave him a puzzled look.
"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I wasn't laughing at you. It's just that Catherine asked me the same thing. I'll tell you what I told her. I'm 48 years old and I've never been married. You've seen my townhouse—it's functional, but nothing luxurious. It is, however, completely paid for. Basically, Sara, I've worked my entire adult life. I'm a loner, I keep to myself, and my only hobby is…work. For twenty-five years now, I've socked away nearly everything I've made--I mean, it's not like I had anything better to do with it. So for all these years, I've just had this steadily growing nest egg, with no one to spend it on." His voice grew quiet. "There have been many times, usually in my darkest moments, when I've asked myself what the point was in all this. No one to share my life with, nothing to do with all this money--only my work to keep me company. In those moments, I always thought of you. I would dream of holding you beside me as you slept, of lavishing you with all the things you deserve. I never let myself believe that those dreams could be a reality, though. Until now. And as I said, when I fuck something up, I fuck it up royally. But when I decide to do something, I go all out. And so this is my way of showing you how serious I am about us. I do not," he said vehemently, "want you to think I am trying to buy your love. I would never insult you in such a way. I just want you to know that I'm going to do every damn thing I can to make up for all the years I've wasted."
They had stopped walking again. Sara gripped his hand tightly as she said, "You don't owe me anything, Griss. But I want you to know that what you have done for me in the past few days…well, I'm just overwhelmed," she finished simply.
Grissom leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. "It's no more than you deserve," he said. "Come on," he said, glancing down at his watch. "Let's go eat."
TBC…