Man….I'm not used to saying I have fans.
But, if I don't update, I'll be killed, if I update late, I'll be yelled at.
Gotta love being an FF writer. :D But I love all of you that read this, I REALLY do, don't get me wrong.
I am BACK! I have updated a lot of stuff lately and have written even more. I am back in this game now and I'm not sure how I'm going to get out. I have other fics up that are, in my opinion , good reads and you should check them out. Their not funny and random like this one, but that's why I have this fic.
With this said, I hope deep down in my heart I have enough sugar and Coke to write this match.
Bare with me, but you shouldn't be upset.
But as I write this right now, I have no idea how the hell I'm going to end it.
Oh sugar, don't let me down now.
Disclaimer: If you thought you'd get me….HAH…. It is all in the first chapter so, there is no REAL point in me writing this but, I do not own Inuyasha.
Inuyasha Vs Kouga
Minion: Well folks, it took much longer to rebuild the stadium. Glares at Kuro, then Vegea, and ends at Naraku. Then we thought it would.
Vegea: What?
Minion: You know damn well what, I told you freaking nukes.
Vegea: Hey, that was Naraku's idea.
Naraku: I got to get me some more of those damn things.
Minion: Well, I'm glad you had fun Rolls eyes Do you have any idea how long it took us to get rid of all the radiation?
Naraku: Ummm, as long as it took you to update?
Minion: Ok, that's low. But anyway, on to our much looked forward to match between big time rivals with some huge egos and even bigger vocabularies.
Naraku: Can we start this damn match? I need one of these guys dead.
Minion: They won't be killed…you know that.
Naraku: So what's the point?
Minion: Uhh, to watch them beat the hell out of each other?
Naraku: Good enough for me.
Vegea: Well, our first contender is faster then a speeding arrow, stronger then your average demon, and able to leap tall huts in a single bound….
Minion: Here he is…KOUGA!
"I Don't suck" Yes, this is a real song begins to play over the speakers and, to the surprise of many, people actually begin to cheer. Kouga walks out on stage and is shocked as a deep, low, "Kouga" chant breaks out
Kouga: People actually like me?
Vegea: It seems so.
Minion: Well, our next fighter doesn't have a good record thus far here on UAS. 0-1. But that doesn't take away from the fact he has a giant sword and can kick ass with it.
Vegea: Here's everyone's favorite half breed….INUUUUUUUUUUYASHA.
Inuyasha appears on stage with "Who let the dogs out" playing in the background. The crowd, almost on cue begins to erupt. Inuyasha, liking what he here's, starts to jump up and down with his arms waving to get the crowd fired up and feed off the excitement
Minion: He seems to be looking better now after last time.
Sess.: That won't help him.
Vegea: What are you doing here?
Sess: To watch them beat the hell out of each other. Whispers to himself And to see what happens when he uses "it".
Minion: What was that?
Sess: NOTHING!
Minion: Begins to eye Sess as if he were nuts Riiiiiiight.
Inu and Kouga are now both in the ring, and staring each other down
Minion: Well, it is time for our usual trash talk part. And with these guys, it should be good.
Inu: I'm going to kill you.
Kouga: Shut up dog crap.
Inu: Wimpy wolf.
Kouga: Mangy mutt.
Inu: Uhhh….your….stupid.
Kouga: That's the best you got?
Inu: Draws his sword Shut up.
Kouga: Takes a fighting stand At least I don't need to put all my faith in a weapon.
Inu: Oh ya, well, at least I use mine. Points at Kouga's sword….which is looking a lot straighter then it usually does
Kouga: Now looking slightly panicky from the unexpected insult I use it….. just not on pathetic meat like you.
Inu: Too bad no one has ever seen you use it. Oh…wait…no one has even seen you fight. You always run away.
Kouga: I DO not.
Inu: Do to.
Kouga: Do not.
Inu: Do to.
Kouga: Do not.
Minion: OK….STOP!. Enough of that. We want to see you guys beat each other senseless.
Crowd cheers
Minion: That settles it, beat each other senseless.
Vegea: Well, ring the buzzer.
Nothing happens
Minion: KNIVES!
Knives wakes up
Knives: Huh…who….what?
Vegea: Start the damn match.
Knives: Oh. Pushes buzzer button
Buzzer rings
Buzzer keeps ringing
Buzzer doesn't stop
Minion: What now?
Naraku: WHAT!
Minion: I SAID, WHAT NOW?
Vegea: KNIVES!
Crowd begins to booo
Inu: Can't we start?
Minion: Not until the buzzer rings.
Kouga: But it is ringing.
Minion: It has to stop….
Demons in the crowd begin to shake
Vegea: Oh great.
Naraku: WHAT!
Demons heads start to explode
Minion: KNIVES, TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!
Knives: I swear it's not me.
Minion: I don't care, FIX IT!
Naraku: WHAT?
Vegea: Man, I hate demons that can't stand loud noise.
Minion: Folks, we're going to have to take a commercial break to straighten this out.
Naraku: WHAT!
Random guy: I jump out of the plane.
I pull the string…nothing happens.
I pull the back up string…nothing happens.
So I ask myself, what would Inuyasha do?
Inuyasha is at a desk with a sign on it that says "Ask Inuyasha" on it.
Inuyasha: Thinks for a moment AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Subway, Eat Fresh.
Sails persons guy: "Are you wondering where to get your top of the line boa's?"
Well, look no more.
Sesshomaru's Boa's R' US'.
That's right, your favorite cold blooded killer now has his own store line.
Get high quality Boa's, or even our cheapo rack.
Sess: Buy my stuff……Or die.
Producer: Also in close business with Naraku brand sharp objects.
Buzzer still ringing
Minion: Welcome back folks, our problem isn't fixed yet, glares at Knives, but most of the exploding has stopped.
Naraku: WHAT!
Vegea: Ya, but the fans are so bored the have started to do the wave.
Shows fan doing a massive wave around the stadium
Minion: Knives, if you don't fix this in 30 seconds, you're a dead man.
Knives pops up from under his control board
Knives: Ok, screw this. Grabs a hammer THIS IS HOW WE FIX THINGS IN SPACE!
Begins to beat his control panel to a pulp
Buzzer flickers with every shot, but keeps coming back on
Knives: Begins to swing faster
Minion: 10 seconds!
Knives: Begins to swing even faster
The control panel is now a heaping pile of metal, yet the buzzer keeps ringing
Knives: Panting Oh wait….
Unplugs the board
Buzzer stops
Crowd stops doing the wave and starts to cheer
Minion: Ok, NOW we can start the match.
Naraku: WHAT!
Both Inuyasha and Kouga wake up from waiting for so long
Vegea: Now kill each other.
Kouga is the first one to move while Inuyasha draws his sword
Knives: I've been waiting a long time for this. Throws a punch
Inuyasha dodges the attack with ease and swings at Kouga with his sword, missing and hitting the matt. Leaving a large crack
Kouga: Ha, you missed.
Inu: Shut up and sit still so I can hit you. Swings again
This time Kouga jumps up onto the blade an runs down it and hit Inuyasha in the face
Inu: Damn you!
Inuyasha begins to activate the wind scare but misses his target by a mile
Kouga: You can't even touch let alone win.
Inu: At least I use my weapon.
Kouga looks down at his sword and looks up to find the crowd chanting " Use it Use It"
Kouga: Ok ok, I'll use the damn sword.
Crowd cheers
Kouga: Draws sword
Almost without a moment going by, a red aura forms around it and Kouga's eye's turn red
Evil Kouga: Now, for my revenge! Charges Inuyasha
Kouga shakes off the effect and his eye's turn back
Kouga: Looking at his sword Wait a minute, this isn't my sword… Eye's turn red again
Evil Kouga: What are you doing, we must kill Inuyasha. Turns back
Kouga: What the hell!
Evil Kouga: Fool, if you don't obey me, then I will kill you too.
Kouga: What the fuck is going on?
Minion: Hey, wait a minute….that's the…..SESSHOMARU!
Sess: What?
Minion: Don't play games, you know what.
Sess: . I have no idea what your talking about. .
Minion: That's the damn Tokijen!
Sess: Oh, so THAT'S where it went. Luaghs evilly
Kouga and his evil half are still arguing with each other
Inu: Will someone please tell me what is going on?
Evil Kouga: Sense you will not listen to me, I must kill you. Swings sword at his right side
Kouga recovers and is able to dodge…no…wait…avoid contact from….himself
Kouga: Is that the best you got. Swings a punch at his left side.
Evil Kouga: Your asking for it now. Swings again
Kouga, the whole body, begins to fight with himself with everyone staring on with confusion
Inu: Listen, I don't understand complex situations….WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON!
Kouga is now in a dust ball fight with himself and arms and the sword flailing everywhere
Kouga: Bring it on ASSHOLE!
Evil Kouga: Oh come on, you can do better then that.
20 minutes go by with no progress at all
Kouga: THAT'S IT!
Kouga is finally able to throw the sword on the ground and out of his grip
Kouga: Begins to stomp on the blade over and over again
Finally, Kouga kicks it off to the side of the ring next to Sess. feet
Kouga: Panting……..Falls over exhausted
Inu: Umm, what just happened?
Minion: Well, you won.
Inu: How?
Vegea: Only by default.
Minion: Sense Sess had to interfere. This little rivalry isn't over. I got another match planed for you two….And I love the twist I put to it.
Inu: What?
Minion: Laugh's evilly Kouga has no shards……
Inu: YES!
Minion: …..and you in your human form.
Inu: NO!
Minion: Too bad, that will be in the future. Thanks for tuning in, to Ultimate Anime Showdown.
Naraku: WHAT!
Author notes: Again, I can't say I'm sorry enough for not updating. But I do have a decent lay out for some time to come.
Again, you are MORE then welcome to send idea's to me, or even ask Inuyasha things in the review section. Just make sure their by Email or I will not post them.
Credits: Ok, the idea for the buzzer, that actually happened in a Basketball I went to. It did go off for like 30 minutes. They did every thing they could think of, it wouldn't stop. Finally they unplugged the thing, and that worked. And, I swear to god, the corwd actually started doing the wave.
Would like to thank Kagome-chan for the Sess. Selling Boa's idea. That one was hers.
Next match will announced soon, so you all will have to wait.