Back and forth. Back and forth. Sirius was pacing in the boys dormitory Friday night; almost a week after his little excursion with Aliyah.
"Any particular reason why you're pacing Padfoot?" James asked, flopping himself down on his bed. He had just gotten back from his first quidditch meeting where he got to exercise his authority as the new quidditch captain.
Back and forth. Sirius had his arms behind his back and was so involved in his thoughts that he did not even register the fact that his best mate was in the same room with him, let alone talking to him. It wasn't until Sirius had tripped over James' outstretched foot that he saw Prongs in the room with him.
"What the hell!" Sirius yelled from his position on the floor.
"You weren't paying attention to me dumbass. Now talk to me. Why are you pacing?"
"I wasn't pacing."
"OK fine, you like to walk around our dorm for no apparent reason."
"Oh there is a reason." James cocked an eyebrow and held out his hand to help Sirius up, which he took. Sirius ran a hand through his long black hair and sat down on the bed next to his friend.
"And the reason being?" Sirius just let out a sigh and leaned back on his elbows. After several moments of silence he answered his mate.
"What the hell am I supposed to say to her?"
"What you should have said last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. You like her, it's so obvious."
"Obvious?"
"Yeah, I mean come on, the way you look at her, that alone could tell anyone how you feel. But of course you have to go acting like an asshole whenever she's around. Showing off, the constant flirting and the cursing of people who look at her. For fuck's sake, Ryan wasn't found for five hours." Sirius let out a bark-like laugh.
"Yeah well, now he knows not to touch her after she told him not to." His smirk slowly died as he thought back to her and what he was going to say. "We've tried this all before," he said, his voice next to a whisper.
"That was so long ago though. You're older now, more mature."
"Yeah, but I think she moved on. Like, fuck! She keeps fucking avoiding me!" Sirius picked up a pillow and threw it across the room.
"Maybe she's scared about her feelings for you. You have to talk to her, you can't ignore this, cause you know it's not going to go away."
"I know I have to talk to her, I just don't know what to say. There's just so many things, and
(I'm scared shitless. I don't want to talk to her. I'm afraid of her reaction.)
I don't want to make things weird between us if she doesn't feel the same way as me. She's such a good
(lover)
friend."
"There's a full moon tonight right?" James stood up abruptly. "We've got what, a couple of hours? Talk to her during the run. You guys do that weird communicating thing where only you two can understand."
Sirius looked up at his friend thoughtfully. James had a good point. He and Aliyah had this way of communicating with each other since their animagus forms were so close in species: him being a dog, her being a wolf.
"Yeah, alright. So between now and then... we gonna figure out something for me to say?"
"Yup, we're gonna figure something out that's so clever and witty that even Wormtail won't even be able to turn you down if you ask him out."
xxx
In the dusk light, Aliyah was going for her daily run, the week's events going through her mind. Damien had yet to talk to her about what she 'owed' him, for this she didn't know whether to be relieved or nervous. He could be planning something horrible or he completely forgot, which she doubted. He never forgot anything.
The blonde let out a long sigh and picked up her pace. She had so many feelings pent up inside of her; the only way to vent them all was to run. Run to get rid of them all. Run to get Sirius off her chest. Run to make Damien disappear. Run to make Voldemort fade.
She had gone to Dumbledore's office after dinner on Monday. They had talked for over an hour about Him. She told him everything that she had heard from her parents, brother and Damien. About the new Lord's hatred for muggles and how he doesn't mind pointless killing. Dumbledore took in all the information she had, and he told her to report back when she found out anything more.
Aliyah was running past Hagrid's hut when her thoughts went back to Sirius and Damien. What was she going to do about them?
What can I do about them? She thought. There is nothing. I'm not going to be another fling for Sirius. And Damien... what about him? I can't fucking do anything about him! Her pace quickened again, and she was almost at a sprint now. I'll fucking curse him if he comes near me... but Dumbledore. He needs information. She sighed inwardly and slowed down to a jog. I could be helping tones of people. Any information Dumbledore could get his hands on would be great. Voldemort doesn't sound like a force that should be reckoned with.
Aliyah was at the far end of the lake when she stopped. Her breathing was ragged as she walked over to her favorite willow tree and leaned against it, taking a deep stuttering breath. The cool night air made her hot skin tingle and she absently rubbed her bare shoulders.
I've been through this all before. She thought, now wrapping her arms around herself in a tight hug. Who's to say that it won't all be same? She couldn't help but think of Sirius now. Well, same for him, different for me. I think I might actually love him.
In their third year, Aliyah and Sirius went out for a few weeks. She could still hear his voice in her ear when he whispered 'I love you' whilst they were snuggling on the common room couch. She had thought it to be a lie then. How could he possible love her when he was thirteen? A boy who didn't really know love; he came from a family where he was a cast-out reject, just like her.
Maybe that's why they broke up. He found out that he really didn't love her, and she realized she wasn't ready for the word love. She though she would never be. Coming from a family that used the Cruciatus curse as a hug--a game even. It was fun for her mom to put the curse on her and see how long it would take to make her daughter scream out in agony.
Now though, standing there by her tree, she could feel it in her chest. She could feel this pressure that would only go away when Sirius was around. It would catch her at the most unlikely times; in the middle of class, she would be doing work when she would suddenly feel it, like a bruise when it had been knocked against. You forget it's there, and then you think about something, or do something, and boom, the bruise is there, aching again.
"I don't want to be a fling!" She yelled to the stars. "I don't want to be another one of his whores!" Another sigh escaped her lips as she let go of herself and sprinted back to the castle.
Aliyah was about to enter Gryffindor Tower when she ran into Lily.
"Where were you?" Her friend asked.
"Running, where else?" Aliyah crossed her arms over her chest.
"Yeah right, I forgot you were going for a run. But yes, the guys are looking for you."
"What, why me?" She asked, confusedly.
"Full moon, stupidhead." Realization dawned on the blonde. She had forgot all about the full moon tonight. She hadn't been for a run in her wolf form in so long now. Not since last June.
"I forgot all about it," she blushed, answering her friend.
"Duh, let's go. I can't wait to fly, it's been so long now." Lily smiled and grabbed her friend's arm and pulled her into the Tower and up to their dorm.
xxx
Yay! okay so that was chapter 6. It didn't take as long this time... I just had a sudden urge to write, and that was the product, so I hope you enjoyed it. As always, please review. I love reading feedback. :D